need help with revising my paper. having trouble with the APA format. I have uploaded some information on the topic. my citations seem to be off, also need stronger arguments.
Michael Rickman
ENG-123
Equality makes us stronger as a nation discrimination has no place in our military. Since early 1993, the military had a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy which meant that gays and lesbians could not be open about their sexual preference. Disclosing their sexual orientation or same-sex relationship to other service members could result in being discharged from active duty. The military has always been strict; over the years, as times change, so do the policies for the for our servicemen and women. It has taken many years for our men and women serving in the military to get used to the idea of gay and lesbians serving in the same uniform. Fast-forward to current times, where we now have a larger category for the LGB to LGBTQ+. We now have transgenders wanting the same opportunity with joining the armed forces, which had been a political nightmare and a civil rights issue. In March of 2018, president Trump had banned transgender from joining the military; as you can imagine, this created a huge wave of issues (Manuel, 2020). This stirs up a concern on why transgender individuals should be included in the military regardless of their sexual status. This assignment provides a persuasive argument on the grounds of inclusivity, meaning that anyone who qualifies to do their assigned duties and perform their job with zero issues, should be given a chance regardless of their sexual status.
For a long period, transgender men and women have been denied the opportunity to serve in the military even though it is a privilege and fulfilling to serve the nation and protect its people. For instance, in 2018, former President Donald Trump issued an order to ban transgender individuals from joining and serving the military. This devastating order saw approximately 15,000 active troops working day and night to execute and protect the nation leave their jobs (Manuel, 2020). This was uncalled for because as the country advances, every corner of the nation and state is shifting towards equality and inclusion. There are many benefits with Transgenders in the military, for example Cate McGregor was the first highest ranking transgender military officer to serve in the Australian armed forces. This just goes to show that it doesn’t matter your sexual status and that Transgender men and women should be allowed to serve the military because, according to the American constitution, any American that meets the current medical and readiness standards should be allowed to serve the military regardless of their gender or sexual preference. There is a culture shock surrounding sexual harassment, discrimination, favoritism, and most recently, how to deal with the new guidelines with transgender joining our military. Therefore, it makes it necessary to research and discuss fully transgender people and why they should be included in the military and other industries regales of their sexual orientation.
The LGBTQ community has had to overcome many obstacles, including sexual trauma, poor mental health, and the overall stigma of the anti-LGBTQ crowd, among other issues According to a Battle Won For LGBTQ+ Rights by Douglas, members of the LGBTQ community are just as equal and qualified to serve in today’s military as anyone else.. As it is, transgender men and women do not have a place in the military because of their sexual orientation. This can be evident through president Trump’s 2018 actions when he banned them from serving in the military. It meant that transgender individuals did not have a place in the military (Douglas, 2020). Douglas uses his article to help us understand and get a glimpse of The LGBTQ community that has had to overcome many obstacles, including sexual trauma, poor mental health, and the overall stigma of the anti-LGBTQ crowd, among other issues. We currently live in a society that believes and promotes the stigma is that only “men” are fit to join the ranks of our military. However, it should be understood that if individuals can perfectly execute their duties and responsibilities with no question, then there should be no issue with who joins.
Today, new guidelines and standards have been launched in the military to allow the troops to follow. There is such a small percentage of transgender individuals serving in the military it doesn’t have a big impact on readiness. According to Ritz’s article Name, Rank And Gender: The Service Of Transgender Troops Has Become The Military’s Most Controversial Issue, transgender troop members who transition from one gender to the other faces a rough time transitioning. In the article, Ritz emphasizes the struggle that service members undergo during the transition (Ritz, 2019). One of the struggles was pronouns and how it was difficult for most to get on the same page. It was challenging to shift from referring to the member as ‘she’ to ‘he’; however, there was no significant impact on unit cohesion or operational readiness even though a percentage of the service members had a rough time getting used to this new concept. This personal story illustrates and represents the rough time that transgender service members have because of their sexual orientation. Therefore, it is evident that the new guidelines and standards can drastically affect military readiness if held onto the latter.
Including transgender individuals in military service is a plus for the American government because it ensures that the military has more people who strengthen the various military ranks. When President Trump banned transgender servicemen from serving the military because they are a burden because of the medical costs, more than 15000 servicemen lost their military jobs due to the ban (Manuel, 2020). According to President Trump, the military should focus on decisive and overwhelming victory and not the burden of tremendous medical costs and issues that transgender people have. However, Trump did not understand that transgender men and women are ready and true to the course of serving their country. If the American government would have had the 15000 service members serving, it would work tremendously better for the military, at a lower cost than recruiting and training straight servicemen for replacement. People should be given job opportunities and capacities of service based on their abilities and skills and not their sexual orientations.
Many people are interested in joining the military, while there are those currently serving the military but having a hard time adjusting. It is all about every service member keeping an open mind. As Mark et al. (2019) illustrate in their article the health and well-being of LGBTQ serving and ex-serving personnel, anyone who identifies themselves in the LGBTQ category will encounter a tougher time in the military than most (Mark et al. 2019). Most transgender service members encounter issues of mental health, sexual assault, and segregation. These types of traumas can have a long-lasting effect on someone. By using military health experts and the studies that have been conducted on the effects of LGBTQ service members, it is evident that transgender people face stigma and prejudice during their service.
Therefore, as transgender servicemen and women join the military or those with a desire to join the military plan themselves on doing the same, they should always be prepared and ready to face all the stigma, prejudice, discrimination, and all sorts of inequality prevalent in the military service. First, it would be essential for interested parties and those already serving the military to find copies of the new guidelines and standards, read them, and understand their requirements. By doing so, they will have a leeway of staying in the military based on their merits and qualifications as stipulated under the standards. Secondly, as the military keeps on changing from time to time, transgender service members need to stay updated with the changes and work towards attaining every standard put in place.
In conclusion, people need to understand no matter how you identify yourself; if you have the will and dedication, you can accomplish just about anything. The military should uphold equality and inclusivity among servicemen and women. All Americans can serve in any position and capacity based on their qualifications and skills, regardless of their sexual orientations. Discrimination, prejudice, stereotypes, and sexual harassment are prevalent in the military, especially in transgender service members. Therefore, they need to get acquainted with the new guidelines and standards to be better placed while pursuing their dream careers. The government should also work towards developing policies to protect and safeguard all military servicemen and women.
References
DOUGLAS, M. (2020). A Battle Won for Lgbtq+ Rights. Canadian Issues / Thèmes Canadiens, 37–39.
Manuel, V. (2020). Trump’s Transgender Military Ban: Policy, Law, and Litigation. Tul. JL & Sexuality, 29, 75.
Mark, K. M., McNamara, K. A., Gribble, R., Rhead, R., Sharp, M.-L., Stevelink, S. A. M., Schwartz, A., Castro, C., & Fear, N. T. (2019). The health and well-being of LGBTQ serving and ex-serving personnel: a narrative review. International Review of Psychiatry, 31(1), 75–94.
https://doi-org.ezproxy.snhu.edu/10.1080/09540261.2019.1575190
Ritz, J. R. (2019). NAME, RANK, and GENDER: THE SERVICE OF TRANSGENDER TROOPS HAS BECOME THE MILITARY’S MOST CONTROVERSIAL ISSUE. Smithsonian, 49(9), 94–101.
Overview
Put the argument into a concrete shape, into an image, some hard phrase, round and solid as a ball, which they can see and handle and carry home with them,
and the cause is half won.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Persuasion is a constant in each of our lives. No matter where we look, what we read, what we see, or who we interact with, we are inevitably going to encounter
some form of persuasion. Advertisements want us to buy things. Newspapers and television want to convince us of how we should feel about events. We are put
into positions where we must defend our thoughts and beliefs to others, and the process we apply is typically some form of persuasion.
Persuasive writing is one of the most powerful forms of writing—it has the ability to influence one’s thoughts, and also the ability to change one’s mind about a
particular issue. The persuasive essay is an ideal tool for supporting an opinion on an issue using researched facts and information. It also gives you the chance to
recognize an opposing viewpoint and refute it, noting that those who hold the opposing viewpoint are the intended audience of the piece.
In this assignment, you will write a persuasive essay that makes an argument about a change or a current issue in your major, a major you are interested in
pursuing, or your field of work.
The project has one milestone, which will be submitted earlier in the course to scaffold learning and ensure quality final submissions. This milestone will be
submitted in Module Five. The final submission is due in Module Seven.
In this assignment, you will demonstrate your mastery of the following course outcomes:
Develop stylistically appropriate writing that incorporates strategies for writing to a given audience, subject, and purpose
Incorporate feedback from peer review for improving the quality and effectiveness of one’s own writing
Write informative introductions; coherent theses; well-developed, organized, and supported body paragraphs; and conclusions that are persuasive and
supported by effective research
Utilize appropriate research for developing a well-informed position through written composition
Prompt
For this essay, you will identify an issue in your current major, a major you are interested in pursuing, or your field of work. You will then establish an argument
and support that argument with research and relevant evidence.
Specifically, the following critical elements must be addressed:
I. Introduction: This is where readers will have a chance to get an idea of what your essay will be about and what you will prove throughout. Do not give all
of your information away here, but give readers a sample of what is to come. Do not forget to review your writing plan to make sure you are hitting all of
the points that you planned out, while also stating your claim.
A. Provides an overview of the issue you have selected, briefly describing main points and your argument.
B. Compose an engaging thesis that states the argument that you will prove and support throughout your essay. This statement will give direction
to your essay and should be well thought out.
II. Body: The body is your opportunity to describe and support your argument in depth. Make sure your thoughts and evidence are clear and organized in a
way that is easy for readers to follow and understand.
A. Be sure that you write multiple paragraphs that are focused, clearly state their intent, and move logically from one to the other, building the
thesis argument as the essay progresses.
B. Your body paragraphs should support your argument by combining thoughts and ideas with evidence from sources. There is no such thing as a
right or wrong argument; the key is how it is supported and the quality of the evidence used.
C. Address and refute any opposing viewpoints to your argument. This is your chance to discredit any opposing views, thus strengthening your
own.
III. Conclusion: Think of the conclusion as a review of your argument. Use this section to restate your argument and remind readers of your supporting
evidence. Think of this as your last chance to persuade readers to agree with you.
A. Review your argument. This section should consist of a review of your main points employed to support your argument. Think of this as your last
chance to prove your point or your closing arguments.
B. Your conclusion should articulate insights about your argument established through your essay. This should follow logically from your essay,
referring to key points or quotes used to support your argument.
ENG 123 Final Project Rubric
Guidelines for Submission: Your persuasive essay must be 5–7 pages in length (plus a cover page and references) and must be written in MLA or APA format.
Save your work in a Microsoft Word document with double spacing, 12-point Times New Roman font, and one-inch margins. Then, check your writing for errors.
Once you have proofread your document, submit it via the Final Project: Persuasive Essay link in Brightspace.
Critical Elements Exemplary Proficient Needs Improvement Not Evident Value
Introduction: Overview Provides an overview of the
issue being analyzed and briefly
describes main points of
argument (100%)
Provides an overview of the
issue being analyzed and briefly
describes main points of
argument, but there are issues
regarding accuracy (55%)
Does not provide an overview of
issue being analyzed (0%)
7.5
Critical Elements Exemplary Proficient Needs Improvement Not Evident Value
Introduction: Thesis Meets “Proficient” criteria, and
thesis is exceptionally clear and
concise (100%)
Composes a thesis that states
the argument that will be
supported and proven
throughout the essay (85%)
Composes a thesis, but there are
issues related to clarity or
relevancy (55%)
Does not compose a thesis (0%)
7.5
Body: Intent Writes multiple paragraphs that
are focused, clearly state their
intent, and build the thesis
argument (100%)
Writes multiple paragraphs, but
writing does not build the thesis
argument (55%)
Does not write multiple
paragraphs (0%)
7.5
Body: Body Paragraphs Meets “Proficient” criteria and
supports argument with a
masterfully constructed
combination of thoughts and
evidence (100%)
Communicates argument
through body paragraphs by
combining thoughts and ideas
with evidence (85%)
Communicates argument
through body paragraphs but
does not combine thoughts and
ideas with evidence (55%)
Does not communicate
argument through body
paragraphs (0%)
45
Body: Opposing
Viewpoints
Meets “Proficient” criteria and
demonstrates keen insight into
both sides of argument (100%)
Addresses and refutes opposing
viewpoints in a way that
strengthens the argument (85%)
Addresses and refutes opposing
viewpoints but not in a way that
strengthens the argument (55%)
Does not address or refute
opposing viewpoints (0%)
7.5
Conclusion: Review Meets “Proficient” criteria, and
response is clear and
contextualized (100%)
Reviews claim and summarizes
key supporting points of essay
(85%)
Reviews claim and summarizes
key supporting points, but there
are issues regarding alignment to
the intent of the thesis (55%)
Does not review claim (0%) 7.5
Conclusion: Insights Meets “Proficient” criteria and
offers nuanced insight into the
relationship between the
evidence and the claim (100%)
Articulates insights about
argument established through
the analysis, following argument
logically and referring to key
points or quotes used to support
argument (85%)
Articulates insights about
argument established through
the essay, but does not follow
argument logically or does not
refer to key points or quotes
used to support claim (55%)
Does not articulate insights
about argument (0%)
7.5
Articulation of
Response
Submission is free of errors
related to citations, grammar,
spelling, syntax, and organization
and is presented in a
professional and easy-to-read
format (100%)
Submission has no major errors
related to citations, grammar,
spelling, syntax, or organization
(85%)
Submission has major errors
related to citations, grammar,
spelling, syntax, or organization
that negatively impact
readability and articulation of
main ideas (55%)
Submission has critical errors
related to citations, grammar,
spelling, syntax, or organization
that prevent understanding of
ideas (0%)
10
Total 100%
rough draft x
by Michael Rickman
Submission date: 02-Feb-2022 12:
4
5PM (UTC-0500)
Submission ID: 1753552444
File name: rough_draft x (19.26K)
Word count: 150
5
Character count: 7989
8
We need APA or MLA format
Great Hook!
Add Citations
Revise Thesis
Revise APA Throughout
Great Analysis
6
9
Nice Paragraph Structure
Add Topic Sentence
2
5
10
Nice Paragraph Structure
7
Nice Opposing Viewpoint
Add Outside Evidence
1
3
4
10%
SIMILARITY INDEX
4%
INTERNET SOURCES
2%
PUBLICATIONS
8%
STUDENT PAPERS
1 2%
2 1%
3 1%
4 1%
5 1%
6 1%
7 1%
8 1%
9
rough draft x
ORIGINALITY REPORT
PRIMARY SOURCES
Submitted to Southern New Hampshire
University – Continuing Education
Student Paper
Submitted to University of North Georgia
Student Paper
Submitted to University of Wales, Bangor
Student Paper
link.springer.com
Internet Source
Submitted to American Public University
System
Student Paper
Submitted to Ramsey High School
Student Paper
www.kcl.ac.uk
Internet Source
www.tothecenter.com
Internet Source
Submitted to CSU, Fullerton
1%
10 1%
Exclude quotes On
Exclude bibliography Off
Exclude matches Off
Student Paper
scholarworks.waldenu.edu
Internet Source
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
QM
FINAL GRADE
/175
rough draft x
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor
PAGE 1
We need APA or MLA format
You have the start of formatting here. Move into APA or MLA as you move forward.
Great Hook!
Great hook!
Add Citations
You seem to have information here that should be cited. Make sure to cite any time you use
outside information.
Revise Thesis
You have a great start of your thesis. Look back at the Week 5 Reading on thesis and my
Announcement as you revise.
Revise APA Throughout
In APA,] you should list the author and the date in the first sentence of information. Something like
According to Smith (2019) the measles vaccine… or According to the CDC (2019) the measles
vaccine… This is dependent on whether the source has an author. See our library for further focus
– https://libguides.snhu.edu/apa
Great Analysis
Great analysis. this is what we need more of throughout.
PAGE 2
Nice Paragraph Structure
Nice Paragraph Structure.
Add Topic Sentence
https://libguides.snhu.edu/apa
QM
QM
QM
Add Topic Sentence. Never start with evidence.
PAGE 3
Nice Paragraph Structure
Nice Paragraph Structure.
PAGE 4
Nice Opposing Viewpoint
Nice Opposing Viewpoint Section!
Add Outside Evidence
Where is your outside evidence? We need outside evidence in every Body Paragraph.
Remember that we are not experts.
PAGE 5
PAGE 6
PAGE 7
