Use the other Personal conflict assignments to help with Part 3 and follow the grading rubic
EDUC 746
Personal Conflict Project: Part 3 – Reflections Assignment Instructions
Overview
Throughout this course you will be introduced to different theories, strategies, and skills necessary for conflict resolution. This theoretical underpinning is necessary before you can practically apply any of the concepts you learn in this course. This project will allow you to start to identify a current personal conflict and attempt conflict resolution strategies and reconciliation based on the theories, strategies and skills you encounter. This project has three parts: Part 1 – Identifying the Dispute, Part 2 – Reconciliation Plan, and Part 3 – Reflections.
Instructions
In order to finalize this project, you must reflect on your reconciliation meeting. Due to the sensitive nature of this assignment, full confidentiality will be maintained.
This assignment has two different reflections require. First, you must reflect on your reconciliation meeting. You must fully describe your meeting, strategies you employed, and the outcome of the meeting. Secondly, you must reflect on this assignment as a whole and fully explain what you have learned through this project.
This assignment should be between 2 – 4 pages in length and each paragraph should be a minimum of five sentences. No title page, abstract, or reference section is necessary unless you use citations. If you use any citations, you must properly cite according to current APA standards and include a reference section.
Please note that your final grade on this project is not contingent upon successful reconciliation, but the process you go through during this project.
Criteria Ratings Points
Reconciliation
Reflection
20 to >17.
0 pts
Advanced
Candidate provides a
full, clear section
detailing the following:
1. The reconciliation
meeting 2. Strategies
employed 3. Outcome
of the meeting
17 to >16.0 pts
Proficient
Candidate provides
adequate section detailing
the following: 1. The
reconciliation meeting
2. Strategies employed
3. Outcome of the meeting
16 to >0.0 pts
Developing
Candidate provides
decent section detailing
the following: 1. The
reconciliation meeting
2. Strategies employed
3. Outcome of the
meeting
0 pts
Not
Present
20 pts
Project
Reflection
20 to >17.0 pts
Advanced
Candidate provides a
full, clear section
detailing a reflection on
the project and lessons
learned throughout this
project.
17 to >16.0 pts
Proficient
Candidate provides an
adequate section detailing a
reflection on the project and
lessons learned throughout
this project.
16 to >0.0 pts
Developing
Candidate provides a
decent section detailing
a reflection on the
project and lessons
learned throughout this
project.
0 pts
Not
Present
20 pts
Paragraph
Length,
Sentence
Structure and
Mechanics
10 to >9.0 pts
Advanced
Sentences are
well-phrased and varied
in length and structure.
Writing displays
introductory and
concluding sentences
that are concise,
interesting and focused.
Each paragraph is at
least five sentences.
The writing is free of
errors.
9 to >8.0 pts
Proficient
Sentences are well-phrased
and there is some variety in
length and structure. Writing
displays clear introductory
and concluding sentences.
Each paragraph is at least
five sentences. There are
1–3 errors, but they do not
represent a major distraction
or obscure meaning.
8 to >0.0 pts
Developing
Some sentences are
awkwardly constructed
so that the reader is
occasionally distracted.
Writing displays vague
introductory and
concluding sentences.
The writing includes
many errors. Each
paragraph is less than
five sentences.
0 pts
Not
Present
10 pts
Total Points: 50
Personal Conflict Project: Part 3 – Reflections Grading Rubric |
EDUC746_B04_202220
1
PartTwo: The Reconciliation Plan
Michael Whitener
1. Describe the material issues in this conflict
One of the material issues in this conflict is talking to Erick’s girlfriend without his awareness. Erick found that I spoke to his girl after seeing my photo and following our chats. The other material issue is that his woman respects him less because of our conversations (Phillips, 2017). Erick said that his girlfriend seemed more comfortable talking to me than him. Consequently, he felt so offended, culminating in the current conflict.
2. Describe the personal issues or offenses in this conflict
Some personal issues arise between me and Erick that have escalated the conflict. I have also been blaming Erick and condemning him for talking to his girlfriends without telling them. Erick has always felt infuriated by my comments. Also, I have constantly reminded him about how he mistreats his girlfriend by denying him the freedom to associate with others. On the other hand, Erick reminds me of my family, saying it is in our blood to go for other people’s wives. His statement me feel offended and unwilling to prove my innocence further.
3. Write down everything you can think of that is noble, right, or admirable about the other person in this dispute, including good memories or ways God has blessed you through that person
Erick is one of the best friends I met at high school. I remember the many times we attended college sports together to cheer for our basketball players. He is often cheerful and willing to help where he can. Before the conflict, we had been sharing many secrets which he safeguarded. He often called to check on me and confirm that I was well. I had always admired his generosity as he used to buy some students lunch when they had no cash.
4. What rights, legally or morally, do you have in this situation?
The conflict parting my long-time friend and me is problematic from my point of view, but I still think of myself as having some rights. First, from a legal standpoint, I am innocent, as Erick has not yet confirmed the allegations. Also, Erick has no legal document showing that they are legally married. Therefore, he cannot prove that his wife is the lady I was chatting to in court. Morally, I did not indulge in any love affair with Erick’s girlfriend, something I appreciate.
5. Which of the personal issues or offenses described can you simply overlook? Which of the material issues described can you simply give in on?
On personal issues, I think I can overlook Erick’s conversations with other people’s girlfriends. One of the reasons to ignore the issue is that I do not have enough evidence to prove my allegations. Also, this issue makes Erick more suspicious of my intentions while talking to his girlfriend, and he may be forced to believe that I was after love. Regarding material matters, I may give in on defending my conversation with his girlfriend. I may have to take the entire blame and criticism for him to forgive me.
6. Which listening skills do you have a hard time with: waiting, attending, clarifying, reflecting, or agreeing? Write down some things you will do or say to overcome these weaknesses.
The listening skill I have challenge with when conversing with Erick is agreeing. In most of the meetings to solve our conflicts, I feel that he is blaming me for so many things in his complicated relationship. The more I have disagreed, the more our conflict has worsened, and thus, I need to improve on the skill. One thing I believe I can do to overcome the barrier is being an accommodator, denying my feelings, and being more concerned about his happiness. I will also listen to his arguments carefully to see their rationale before deciding on agreeing or disagreeing.
7. How can you show that you are trying to believe the best about the other person (i.e., making charitable judgments)?
Sometimes people reconcile when they put aside their issues and focus on the point of disagreement. I could prove to believe the best about Erick by showing that I am disappointed with my actions that led to the conflict. I would also pay attention to his concerns and show some regrets for my part in the dispute. The other way is to avoid pointing out Erick’s weaknesses that are not part of our conflict. I can also use phrases that show I care about what happened and that; I did not intend to hurt him.
8. Which worldly weapons have you been using, or are you tempted to use, in this situation?
So far, I have not resorted to any weapon as part of dealing with Erick. However, I thought of physically meeting and beating her girlfriend after Erick discovered that I was chatting with her. I was disappointed because I thought she deleted all the texts every time we spoke so that Erick would not recognize our communication. Sometimes when Erick ignores my defense and appears self-centered, I am tempted to use a knife to eliminate him. However, given our friendship, this will not happen, and hopefully, our issues will end.
9. Have you been using your tongue to bless your opponents or to speak critically of them? How could you breathe grace to them in the days ahead?
I have used my tongue to bless my opponent Erick, with whom I have a dispute. I always wish him the best because he will realize my innocence one day, however long it will take. I am convinced that, since I am innocent, there is no need to criticize him or talk ill about him to my friends. I will forgive him by letting all the personal issues he raised during our discussion go. He spoke negatively about my family taking other people’s wives, and I would not wish to keep that in my heart.
10. To whom can you turn for godly advice and encouragement?
The person I can turn to for godly advice is my grandmother. I have stayed with her for almost a decade, and her guidance has always helped me in tricky situations. She also goes to church every day, and I firmly believe God inspires her counsel. On encouragement, I would talk to my girlfriend. She is always available to offer me a helping hand when everything seems to go against me. She is a wonderful blessing in my life and a great resource in solving my issues with Erick.
11. What can you keep on doing in this situation that is right?
In this conflict, Erick considers me as the cause of every problem. He never perceives his unwillingness to forgive me as an issue keeping us separated. Neither does she see his girlfriend as having played a role during our communication. Therefore, the best thing to do right is to accommodate Erick and his accusations against me. It will not matter how insulting he will become; the important thing is that he remains happy if that will solve the issue.
12. Would it be wiser to communicate in person, on the phone, or using a letter? Why?
I think it would be wiser to communicate with Erick in person than any other means. I prefer in-person communication because we have never agreed on anything every time I have talked to him through the phone (Henderson, 2020). Through face-to-face communication, I can show my regrets for my mistakes and prove that it was unintentional. Also, through the in-person meeting, we can further build trust, reduce tension and strengthen our relationship (Henderson, 2020). All these gains from face-to-face conversations will help us solve our disputes fast.
13. Clearly articulate your plan for resolving this dispute over the next two weeks.
My ongoing dispute with Erick is of no use to both of us, and it needs to come to an end amicably. The first step I plan to undertake is requesting Erick for solutions on how he thinks we can resolve the dispute amicably (The five steps to conflict resolution, 2019). I will organize in-person talks twice during the two weeks and examine his proposed solutions and rationale. Also, I intend to show the highest commitment and collaboration towards solving the dispute. I will involve his girlfriend to testify that our conversations had no hidden agenda.
References
The five steps to conflict resolution. AMA. (2019, July 25). Retrieved February 12, 2022, from
https://www.amanet.org/articles/the-five-steps-to-conflict-resolution/
Henderson, I. (2020, April 6). Communication in conflict situations. ACCORD. Retrieved February 12, 2022, from
https://www.accord.org.za/lessons/communication-in-conflict-situations/#:~:text=Often%2C%20the%20only%20tool%20we,ability%20to%20talk%20things%20through.&text=Good%20communication%20in%20conflict%20situations,remains%20firm%20on%20important%20points
Phillips, R. (2017, December 5). The material and personal dimensions of conflict. Robin Mark Phillips. Retrieved February 12, 2022, from
4
Part1: Identifying the Dispute
Michael Whitener
1. Briefly summarize your dispute as you perceive it, placing events in chronological order. Include what you have done to resolve the dispute.
I have a dispute with my closest friend Erick. We got entangled in a confrontation last year on the eve of 25th December. I had been chatting with Erick’s girlfriend before that day though he had never discovered. Despite our frequent conversations, I had no bad intentions, and I saw no wrong in maintaining our conversation. Erick went through her girlfriend’s chats and found our conversation on that fateful day. Though his girlfriend had saved me with a different name, Erick discovered me because of my posted picture.
That was the beginning of our dispute. Erick called me and threatened to deal with me mercilessly for having an affair with her girlfriend. I disowned the accusations, but he still insisted that we were dating. From that moment, I avoided chatting and blocked her girlfriend to avoid more contention. I also tried to reach out personally to Erick to explain my case, but he refused until he recently accepted, and we met. I accepted that chatting with her girlfriend without his knowledge was a mistake, and I would not repeat it. However, Erick is still unwilling to forgive me and end the feud, claiming that he needs more time.
2. Have you been striving earnestly to resolve this dispute or giving only partial efforts to reconcile?
Given my closeness with Erick, I have strived to solve our dispute. I have severally tried to prove that I am sorry by sharing not all the conversations I had with his girlfriend, but that has been fruitful (Walter, 2018). During our meeting, I acknowledged that it was wrong talking to his girlfriend without his knowledge and that, since then, I had blocked her and cut our communication. In most of my conversations with Erick, I remain absolutely humble to him as I seek to solve the dispute. I believe my innocence will be proven though it will take more effort.
3. What questions, doubts, or fears do you have because of this dispute?
One of my fears due to the current dispute between Erick and me is that Erick may damage my reputation by sharing the incident with my friends. The act would cause some people to isolate me even without allowing me to explain myself. I am doubtful whether I will solve the conflict soon. Every time I talk to Erick, he seems so disappointed with me and strongly believes that I had a love affair with his girlfriend. I am also unsure whether his girlfriend is trying to reconcile with him. The question I have is whether I should involve a mediator in solving my conflicts or leave everything to fate.
4. Have you been looking at this dispute as something that happened by chance, as something done to you by someone else, or as something that God allowed in your life for a specific purpose
I look at the dispute as something that God allowed for a purpose. It was not the first time I was talking to my friends’ girlfriend without their knowledge, but it was the first time to be caught up. I think God wants me to avoid interacting with people who can create problems in my life. Also, God allowed it to happen so that I would learn about true and false friends. My pleadings of innocence and my behavior would prompt Erick to forgive me as his friend. However, his unwillingness to let it go has shown that we never trusted each other, and currently, I am just seeking to solve the dispute and not renew our friendship.
5. Using what you currently know about conflict resolution, which response to the conflict have you been using to resolve the dispute?
Based on my understanding of conflict resolution, I think I have been accepting my mistakes that resulted into the dispute. Acceptance is a conflict resolution approach where one or all conflicting parties agree to causing the conflict (Bogue, 2021). It is a method used to prevent de-escalation of the dispute between the disagreeing parties. By embracing acceptance, I managed to prevent more confrontation with Erick despite our existing conflict (Bogue, 2021). I am ready to take the blame as long as I can until we find a solution.
References
Bogue, R. (2021, June 17). Conflict: The importance of acceptance. Thor Projects. Retrieved February 8, 2022, from
https://thorprojects.com/blog/archive/2019/12/06/conflict-the-importance-of-acceptance/
Walter, N. (2018, May 3). Summary of “conflict resolution: Theory, research, practice”. Beyond Intractability. Retrieved February 8, 2022, from
https://www.beyondintractability.org/bksum/schellenberg-conflict