Top of Form
In your initial post, consider the Four Prototypic Dimensions of Parenting and address the following:
1. Which style best describes the approach used by your parents/guardians when you were growing up?
2. Which style do you (or would you) use with your children?
3. What impact do you think the parenting-style you experienced growing up has had on you? Has it influenced (or would it influence) your style as a parent?
Be sure to support your responses and give examples.
Review the posts made by your classmates and reply to at least two that experienced a different upbringing or explained a perspective you did not consider. Reply to those posts indicating which aspect(s) of their reasoning you found most compelling.
Bottom of Form
Top of Form
Thinking back to the way I was raised, I would say my parents where Authoritative with me and my older sister. I had a strict restrictions with money and the need to have a job as soon as I was of an age to work. My parents kept my money and I assume it was to pay family bills while I lived with them. I would say my older sister had more standards placed on her from our parents with grades but her money was her own. My younger sister was given no push, no consequences and was defended when she did wrong growing up, she was very given a permissive style by our parents. To see the consequences of our parents and the ways of growing up, I feel is reflected in me and my siblings. My older sister who was held to high standards went to college right away and has a Masters in Chem Engineering and is doing well in her life, married, no debt, two sons and providing a stable upbringing. Me, I struggled due to not knowing the value of money because I never dealt with my own, and because my older sister was out of the house as soon as she was done with high school I was kicked out and told to do the same. My younger sister who has never had to deal with anything wrong and never received any push from our parents… She is 30+ years old, has no drivers license, no career and still lives with our parents. When my older sister and I have tried to talk to our parents about her lack of drive and overall motivation, our mother always says “you and Angela did great and you need to be respectful of your younger sister.” My younger sister just walks away whenever Angela and I try to talk to her about her life and or future.
With the way of growing up and seeing how we came out I would use Authoritative parenting style. I do not have kids and I have no desire or drive to have any. My husband is ok with this desire. I have watched how my older sister raises her kids and I fully agree and support her and her husbands style. It is Authoritative. They hold their kids to their actions and explain what is happening and why. They show love and patience with their little ones.
Zeltser, F. (2021) https://www.cnbc.com/2021/06/29/child-psychologist-explains-4-types-of-parenting-and-how-to-tell-which-is-right-for-you.html#:~:text=different%20parenting%20styles.-,The%204%20types%20of%20parenting,Eleanor%20Maccoby%20and%20John%20Martin.
Bottom of Form
If I where to be a parent I would try to be authoritative. I would like to hear my kids side of the story and try to gain an understanding into why they would take certain actions. I think teaching a child if you are going to do wrong then their are and will always be consequences to those actions. With that being said there is also positive consequences to good actions. For instance mow the lawn and you will get more for allowance or get to eat out at the restaurant of your choice. Unlike my parents who would either ground me until I mowed the lawn and never offer anything for helping around the house. My mother would cry and say I don’t love the family because I refuse to do chores.
I think the parenting style I had to deal with has negatively impacted me by large. I am 34 years of age in school and still trying to figure my life out. I am trying to play catchup to those who actually took initiative of their life at a young age. Unlike me where I just wasted so much time rebelling against these strict catholic, authoritative pricks I call my parents. So yes the way I was raised has made me think taking a different approach would be much healthier choice. And I have already started doing that with my nieces and nephews. Now since I am not their parent I do not do the punishing but I do talk to them and get their side of things. And try to make them see why that action was wrong. Also I try to hand out complements when they achieve something. That way they can feel good about their accomplishment.
References
Pamela Li, MS, MBA
Feb 19, 20224 Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects On The Child
https://www.parentingforbrain.com/4-baumrind-parenting-styles/