discussion
BK0005
August 1, 2009
CHAPTER FIVE
Communicating, Negotiating, and
Resolving Conflicts Across Cultures
From Cultural Intelligence: Living and Working Globally,
Second Edition, by David C. Thomas and Kerr Inkson
© 2009 by David C. Thomas and Kerr Inkson. All rights reserved.
Published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
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84
CO M M U N I C AT I O N FA I L U R E
Consider these four vignettes of cross-cultural living, all of them
authentic experiences involving Americans.1
■ An Australian woman, flying aboard Sky West Airlines from
Atlanta to Pittsburgh, asks a flight attendant if she can have
a pack of pretzels instead of crackers. When the attendant
says they don’t have any pretzels, she replies, ‘’Fair dinkum?’’
But before the Australian can say anything more, a second at-
tendant asks for her passport and copies down her name. Her
local colloquialism has sparked a security scare, her common
Australian phrase apparently being misinterpreted as an act of
aggression.
■ An American student shares a dormitory room with a Thai. They
get on well. Then, after they have lived together for several
weeks, the Thai abruptly announces that he has applied for a
transfer to another room. The American is surprised and upset
and asks the Thai why he wants to move. The Thai is reluctant
to speak but eventually says that he can’t stand the American’s
noisiness, loud stereo, late visitors, and untidiness. The American
is even more surprised: all this is new to him. “Couldn’t you have
CH A P T ER 5
Communicating,
Negotiating, and Resolving
Conflicts across Cultures
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 85
told me this sooner?” he says. “Maybe I could have done some-
thing about it.”
■ A newly qualified American community counselor is assigned as
a client a Malaysian man who suffers from low energy and poor
concentration. In their first interview, the Malaysian is very quiet
and withdrawn. The counselor is used to silences in counseling
sessions, as clients reflect and analyze, but this client does not
seem to want to communicate at all. So the counselor takes time
to try to persuade him of the nature of the counseling process.
At the end of the session, the client does not seek any further
counseling. The counselor is disappointed: he has learned al-
most nothing about his client. Has he done something wrong?
■ An American economist is on a study tour in China. He visits an
economic planning institute where a Chinese economist, who is
interested in the American’s economic forecasting techniques,
invites him to spend two months in China giving seminars. The
American is very interested in the offer, and says so, but he adds
that he has to check with the administration of his U.S. institute to
get their approval. Back in the United States, he is granted the
necessary clearance and sends a message to China indicating
that he is definitely available. But the Chinese never contact him
again.
These cases, to which we will return later, demonstrate com-
munication failures that led to the breakdown of relation-
ships, and all have cultural origins.
Communication — the interchange of messages between
people — is the fundamental building block of social experi-
ence. Whether selling, buying, negotiating, leading, or work-
ing with others, we communicate. And although the idea
of communicating a message seems simple and straightfor-
ward — “You just tell it straight. And you listen.” — when it
comes to figuring out what goes wrong in life, “communica-
tion failure” is by far the most common explanation.
Communication operates through codes — systems of signs
in which each sign signifies a particular idea. Communication
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86 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
also uses conventions — agreed-upon norms about how, when,
and in what context codes will be used. If two people do not
share the same codes and conventions, they will have diffi-
culty communicating with each other. And codes and conven-
tions are determined mainly by people’s cultures. The most
obvious example of unshared codes is different languages.
Each communication breakdown in our opening set of
vignettes can be explained in terms of cultural differences:
■ In the first case the expression “fair dinkum” is a com-
mon Australian phrase that is used to refer to some-
thing worthwhile or reliable. As a question, it can mean
“Really? Is that right?” and this is most likely the sense in
which the passenger used it. However this term was not
in the vocabulary of the American flight attendants. And
they drew a wrong conclusion. This is an example of dif-
ferent codes.
■ In the case of the student whose Thai friend moved out,
culture and custom interfered with communication. In
their upbringing, Americans are encouraged to be active,
assertive, and open, and to expect the same in others. In
their upbringing, Thais are encouraged to be passive and
sensitive, and they too expect the same in others. The
Thai expected the American to be sensitive to his feelings;
the American expected the Thai to say what his feelings
were. When neither behaved as expected, the relationship
broke down. This is an example of different conventions.
■ The counselor whose client wouldn’t talk failed to ap-
preciate the meaning of an important part of the com-
munication — the silences! Silences are not always absence
of communication; they are often part of communica-
tion. Asians tend to wait longer than Westerners before
speaking, especially to authority figures. To some extent
long silences are a sign of respect. The counselor might
have been more patient. Also, the Malaysian may not
have been assertive enough to seek another appointment
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 87
without being invited. So the whole situation was mis-
managed. This is an example of different codes AND
conventions.
■ The economist whose invitation to visit China was never
followed up failed to appreciate the meaning of his own
communication in Chinese culture. A Chinese saying
that he had to check with his office before accepting the
invitation might have been communicating two things:
first, that he was a relatively low-status person who had
to check everything with bureaucrats; second, that he
was not really interested in visiting. So in this case the
Chinese may have made these same assumptions about
the American and concluded he was not really interested
in visiting. Chinese people seldom say “no” even when
that is what they mean. Instead, they have numerous po-
lite ways — including the one in this story — of courteously
indicating it. This is another example of different codes
AND conventions.
How Cross-Cultural Communication Works
In communication, the communicator transmits messages to
others (“receivers”) who interpret them. The process is shown
in figure 5.1.
When the receiver in turn becomes the communicator, the
process is reversed. The channel may be spoken words, writ-
ten words, or nonverbal behavior such as gestures or facial
expressions. Face-to-face conversations, meetings, telephone
calls, documents, or e-mails may all be used. Successful com-
munication occurs when the message is accurately perceived
and understood. Skills of communicating and listening, selec-
tion of an appropriate channel, and the absence of “inter-
ference” from external factors are all important. Cultural
differences threaten communication because they reduce the
available codes and conventions that are shared by sender
and receiver.
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88 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
The cultural field shown in figure 5.1 represents culturally
based elements in the sender’s and in the receiver’s back-
ground, such as their language, education, and values.2 The
cultural field creates the codes and conventions that affect the
communication process.
Language
Language is the most obvious code for communicating. In lan-
guage, combinations of sounds represent elements of meaning
and can be combined to represent complex messages. Most
languages contain speech conventions, subtleties, and figures
of speech of which only experienced speakers may be aware.
The essence of language is that sender and receiver should
share the code. But the development and mobility of human-
kind has left us with thousands of different languages, plus
different dialects and adaptations of many of them.3 Most
people have only one language, which they have learned and
spoken since early childhood, and even accomplished linguists
are usually fluent in only a few. Moreover, psychologists have
determined that the best time to acquire new languages is
before the age of ten, after which we become progressively
less able to adapt.4
A complicating factor is that whatever the language, its
SENDER CHANNELENCODING DECODING RECEIVER
CULTURAL FIELDCULTURAL FIELD
FIGURE 5.1. Cross-cultural communication process
Source: Based on Schramm (1980)
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 89
everyday use normally goes beyond any simple single code
such as that in a dictionary. Languages are living entities that
grow and change to accommodate the widely different groups
who use them and the changes in the social circumstances in
which they are used. For example, among young speakers of
English, language is becoming more direct and dramatic, so
that
“She accused me of breaking the window. I said I hadn’t.”
has become:
“She’s like, ‘You trashed the window!’ I’m like, ‘No way it was
me!’”
In most cultures, different groups have their own vocabu-
laries, slang, accents, and idioms. Sometimes the differences
are so strong and systematic that we say they have a different
dialect. Technical or social groups may develop their own
jargon and may use the jargon to distance themselves from
outsiders. Another common linguistic convention is euphe-
mism, when words with sexual or other potentially impo-
lite connotations are replaced with less explicit words. For
example, in some English-speaking cultures it is common to
say that someone has “passed away” rather than “died.”
Finally, most of us would be surprised at the extent to
which we mindlessly use proverbs, maxims, and even slogans
or catchphrases heard on television as part of our day-to-day
conversation. Examples are the Anglo-American expressions
“it’s a no-brainer,” “yadda yadda yadda,” and “it’s not rocket
science.” Such expressions are in good English but may genu-
inely puzzle outsiders.
Finding Common Language Codes
While language is a wonderful tool for communication, it is
also fraught with difficulties. Two people seeking to com-
municate with each other who do not have any overlapping
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90 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
language codes face a major barrier. They can, of course,
employ translators. But translation is time-consuming and
expensive. It also complicates the communication process
and potentially distorts the message by requiring a further
transformation.
People who choose to learn and use a foreign language
find benefits beyond simply overcoming the language bar-
rier. Most people appreciate the efforts that others may have
made to learn their language. So even though your fluency
in another language may be limited, the fact that you have
made the effort may generate goodwill.5 In addition, language
conveys many subtleties about a culture that a person with
high cultural intelligence might notice and use.
However, learning a new language carries major costs.
Becoming fluent in another language takes substantial study
and practice, particularly if that language is unlike your own
in pronunciation, grammar, and conventions. Language learn-
ers expend considerable time and effort in learning, and find
that when using the language they feel stressed and may even
be distracted from other aspects of the situation. Also, lack
of fluency may unfairly undermine credibility in the eyes of
fluent speakers. In contrast, fluency may lead to the speaker
being perceived, sometimes mistakenly, as being competent in
other areas, such as overall cultural intelligence.6
Second-Language Use
One by-product of the Anglo-American economic dominance
of the twentieth century and the relentless unwillingness of
British and American people to learn languages other than
their own has been to make English increasingly the accepted
common language of business. Worldwide, the learning of
English to facilitate international communication has become
a major activity. This change facilitates international business
communication. Those who speak English as their only lan-
guage owe a debt to the millions of people around the world
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 91
who have gone out of their way to learn to understand, read,
speak, and write in the English language.
Learning English as a second language (ESL) is full of
challenges. The language’s richness of vocabulary and its
numerous synonyms can cause ESL speakers great difficulty.
Take the simple word “fly.” It can mean an annoying insect, a
means of travel, or an important part of men’s trousers.7
A person fluent in English who is communicating with a
less skilled English speaker has an obligation to communicate
in relatively standard terms, to avoid jargon and obscure lan-
guage, and to avoid assumptions about comprehension by the
other person. Culturally intelligent people will consciously
adapt their language to be in harmony with the vocabulary
and style of the other person.
Some ESL speakers — particularly those from cultures that
set high store by not losing face — pretend to understand when
they really do not. In these situations there is a special onus
on the parties to be aware of barriers and limitations in their
sending and receiving, and to check whether messages have
successfully gotten through.
The following are some brief guidelines that culturally
intelligent people can use to help improve communication
with ESL speakers.
Second-L anguage Strategies
■ Enunciate carefully.
■ Avoid colloquial expressions.
■ Repeat important points using different words to explain
the same concept.
■ Use active verbs and avoid long compound sentences.
■ Use visual restatements such as pictures, graphs, tables,
and slides.
■ Hand out written summaries of your verbal presentation.
■ Pause more frequently, and do not jump in to fill silences.
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92 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
■ Take frequent breaks, and allow more time.
■ Do not attribute poor grammar or mispronunciation to
lack of intelligence.
■ Check for understanding by encouraging speakers to
repeat concepts back to you.
■ Avoid embarrassing speakers, but encourage and rein-
force their participation.8
Conventions
Communication conventions cover the ways that language
and other codes are used within a particular culture. Once
again, cultural values and norms, such as those based on
collectivism or individualism, are apparent.
E x p l i c i t a n d I m p l i c i t C o m m u n i c a t i o n
There is a Western view that individuals perceive something
called the truth and should state it, and a convention that
communication should be verbal and that verbal messages
should be explicit, direct, and unambiguous. But in other
cultures — for example, many Middle Eastern and Asian cul-
tures — there is no absolute truth, and politeness and desire to
avoid embarrassment often take precedence. The convention
is therefore that communication is implicit and indirect. In
the direct convention of communication, most of the message
is placed in the content of the communication — the words
that are used. In the indirect convention, the context is more
important — for example, the physical setting, the previous
relationships between the participants, and the nonverbal
behavior of those involved.
The direct convention tends to be the norm in countries
with individualist cultures, the indirect in countries with
collectivist cultures. Understanding apparently indirect com-
munication in collectivist cultures may sometimes be simply
a matter of learning another code. The examples in the fol-
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 93
lowing box show a variety of ways of saying no politely and
indirectly. In most cases a low-CQ individual would under-
standably think that the answer might be “yes.”
S AY I N G “ N O ” I N R ES P O N S E TO
“ H A S MY P R O P O S A L B E E N AC C E P T E D ? ”9
Conditional “yes” If everything proceeds as planned, the
proposal will be approved.
Counter-question Have you submitted a copy of your
proposal to the ministry of . . . ?
Criticizing the question Your question is very difficult to answer.
Refusing the question We cannot answer this question at this
time.
Tangential reply Will you be staying longer than you had
originally planned?
Yes, but Yes, approval looks likely, but . . .
Delayed answer You should know shortly.
The problems associated with explicitness of communica-
tion are not limited to face-to-face communication. In fact,
the use of e-mail as the preferred mode of communication in
many firms can make these problems even more difficult. One
Dutch manager (direct convention) was so frustrated in trying
to understand the real message in e-mails from his Mexican
counterpart (indirect convention) that he finally jumped on
an airplane and flew from Amsterdam to Mexico City just to
get clarification.10
V e r b o s i t y a n d S i l e n c e
Cultures vary in their conventions about how much and how
loudly one should talk. Americans are notorious for talking a
lot and talking loudly. Silence can be used deliberately and stra-
tegically in communication. Japanese negotiators use silence
as a means of controlling negotiating processes, whereas Finns
use it as a way of encouraging a speaker to continue. As the
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94 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
counselor in one of our opening vignettes failed to note, in
Malaysia silence can show respect. Interpreting silence accu-
rately is important in culturally intelligent communication.
Nonverbal Communication
R AY M OV ES TO G R E E C E
I had no trouble finding the café. It was picture-perfect, as many are
in Athens: checkered tablecloths, white walls, nice Mediterranean
atmosphere. It was morning, so there were no customers. Behind
the counter, a slim woman in her forties was getting ready for the
start of the day. Dimitri’s mother. I’d seen her photos.
“Mrs. Theodoridis?”
She turned toward me, puzzled.
“I’m Ray. From Australia. Your son Dimitri . . . “
She smiled broadly. “Oh, Ray! Yes! You Ray! Oh yes, Dimitri
write me that you come to Greece. Oh, come, come! Sit! I bring
you come coffee.”
She moved toward the kitchen, motioning me to sit at one of
the tables. Suddenly, a worried frown spread across her features.
“Oh! Maybe you no like Greek coffee? Maybe you want ouzo?”
She was fussing over me. If there’s one thing we Australians can’t
stand, it’s being fussed over. But I stayed polite.
“Coffee would be great, thank you.”
She nodded and went into the kitchen. I sat down at the table.
She came back with the coffee and stood opposite me. She was
speaking to me in a warm, indulgent gush.
“Dimitri tell me you so help him when he move to Australia, with
his English and everything.” She put the coffee down on the table
and sat down opposite me, leaning toward me. She seemed too
close. I could smell her perfume. I leaned back a little. Australian
guys don’t like being gushed over; we like to keep our distance.
“So.” Suddenly she placed both her hands over one of mine, flat
on the table. She stroked my hand a little. “How you like Athens?”
Before I could answer, she moved her right hand, took a gentle hold
of my cheek, and shook it affectionately. “You find girlfriend, yes?”
This was not going the way I had expected. I had envisaged a
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 95
more formal conversation, at a respectable distance, about Dimitri.
Instead she had her hands all over me. Her eyes seemed to be
staring right through me. And she was asking about my love life,
for heaven’s sake! What business was it of hers?
“Well, Mrs. Theodoridis,” I managed, “I . . . err . . . um . . .”
She was leaning toward me, close, intense. “I’ve only been here a
couple of months.”
“Yes, Ray, that’s right.” She was speaking to me as to a ten-year-
old child. Now she took my face in both her hands, and leaned
even closer. “You find nice Greek girl, settle down.” At last she
took her hands off me and leaned back, considering. “Some nice
Greek girls. You have good salary at Constantine Shipping, yes?”
She sipped her coffee. I was thinking, what is it with this woman?
She is altogether too familiar. Better be polite, though.
“Well, Mrs. Theodoridis, I . . . err . . . haven’t really thought
about settling down.”
“Yes, Ray, that’s right.” Why was she agreeing with everything
I said? “Better be careful. Some of these Greek girls, they want
big diamond ring, or fancy church wedding.” A thought occurred
to her. She leaned toward me, put her hand under my chin, and
looked at me intensely. She said softly “Are you religious, Ray?”
Bugger me, I thought, I’ve only known her two minutes, and
already she’s asking about my personal life, my money, and my
religion! I felt confused, embarrassed, and hot. And her constant
pawing was getting to me. What to do?
Then I had a brainwave. Play for time! “Ah, well, Mrs. Theo-
doridis. Maybe I will have that ouzo after all.”
“Aah!” She smiled and grasped my hand in a way that said, this
is our special, shared moment. Then she got up, ruffled my hair,
and went into the kitchen.
I looked after her, shaking my head involuntarily. What was she
about? Why was she so personal to a stranger, why so intimate?
What did she want?
This case is a good example of poor communication due to
cultural differences in conventions and body language. Greece
is a collectivist culture, with a lot of emphasis on the extended
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96 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
family. Mrs. Theodoridis is treating Ray like a member of that
family because of his close relationship to her son Dimitri —
indeed she is treating him as if he is her son. And like many
people in Southern European cultures, Greek people have a
low interpersonal distance, and touching of the type Mrs.
Theodoridis is doing is not uncommon, particularly between
members of the extended family. But Ray, from the more
reserved, higher-distance Australian culture, sees all this as
intrusive: in his culture, touching between men and women
often has sexual connotations. No wonder he is confused!
And, it has to be said, in failing to notice Ray’s embarrassment
Mrs. Theodoridis shows low cultural intelligence.
The topic of body language is popular, and most of us
now realize that we communicate, often inadvertently, by
such means as physical proximity and orientation to another
person, body movements, gestures, facial expression, eye
contact, and tone of voice. Thus, nonverbal communication
supplements verbal communication a great deal.
Often, nonverbal communication is a good guide to the
truth: for example, if an athlete is sitting in the dressing
room after the match with shoulders slumped, arms folded,
and face glum, you do not need to ask, whatever his or her
culture, whether his team won or lost. Sometimes nonverbal
behavior reveals the opposite of verbal, for example, when
someone red in the face and making a considerable effort to
control himself, tells you, “No, I’m not angry.”
Nonverbal communication often assists cross-cultural
understanding because many nonverbal signals are similar
between different cultures. For example, smiling universally
expresses positive feelings. But there are also subtle varia-
tions between cultures: for example, Asians often smile to
conceal nervousness or embarrassment. A shake of the head
means disagreement in Western cultures but agreement in
some parts of India. The codes that tell us the meanings of
postures or gestures, or where to stand or whether to bow,
sometimes agree across cultures but sometimes disagree.
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 97
D i s t a n c e
How close should you stand to other people when commu-
nicating with them? Should you face people directly or stand
beside them? The answer can vary according to the charac-
teristics of the other person, for example, his or her authority,
age, or gender. But there are also differences among cultures.
For example, in casual conversation, Greeks stand closer than
Americans, who stand closer than Norwegians, and so on. A
culturally intelligent person will be mindful of the comfort of
those he or she deals with and will modify his or her social
distance.11
T o u c h i n g
Should you ever touch the person you are communicating
with? If so, where, and how much? In most cultures, touching
another person symbolizes various emotions and relation-
ships. The most obvious example is the handshake, which in
many cultures denotes a friendly relationship — “I’m pleased
to meet you” or “Goodbye for now.” Kissing another person’s
cheek is common between men as well as women in France.
In some cultures, approval or support may be shown by a slap
on the back or a squeeze of the arm. Soccer players worldwide
hug each other fiercely when their team scores a goal.
Because of gender differences and concerns about the sexual
connotations of touching, conventions are often different for
men and women. There are low-touch cultures (predominantly
in North America, Northern Europe, and Asia) and high-
touch cultures (predominantly in Latin America, Southern and
Eastern Europe, and the Middle East). A touch that is meant to
be meaningful in the United States, such as a pat on the back,
might not even be noticed in a high-touch culture like Brazil.
B o d y P o s i t i o n
In a case in chapter 1, a Samoan job applicant sat down in the
office of an American manager to show respect by positioning
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98 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
himself at a physically lower level. But the gesture misfired
because to Americans sitting down when others are stand-
ing shows disrespect. Polite Americans wait for others to sit
down before they do, and show respect by rising from their
seats when others enter the room. The way people position
themselves has meaning in all cultures, but it is hard to draw
up any hard-and-fast rules.
Another common body-position issue is the adoption of a
position that makes one’s body look big — for example a rigid,
angular stance to denote aggression or a curled-up, cower-
ing posture to indicate submissiveness.12 Bowing to show
deference is common across many cultures, but in some its
use is extreme. In Japan, the (unwritten) rules about who
should bow to whom and how exactly they should do it are
complex, subtle, and difficult to master. In fact, the culturally
intelligent person knows that a foreigner trying to imitate
Japanese bowing is at best humorous and at worst offensive,
and that bowing in Japan is a custom best reserved for native
Japanese.
G e s t u r e s
Hand and arm movements are often used simply as physical
accompaniments to words, to supplement them or to provide
a visual illustration. Often gestures are meaningless without
the verbal commentary, other than as a general statement of
the state of mind of the person. But there are also gestures
that carry established meanings, for example pointing to indi-
cate direction, hands held up with the palms facing upward
and outward to indicate defensiveness, and a shrug of the
shoulders to indicate incomprehension or lack of interest.
Other signals vary across cultures. Some gestures, which are
positive, humorous, or harmless in some cultures, are consid-
ered hostile, offensive, or obscene in other cultures. High-CQ
people tend to avoid explicit gestures until they know what
they mean.
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 99
F a c i a l E x p r e s s i o n
Facial expressions most obviously indicate the basic human
emotions: happiness, surprise, disgust, fear, anger, and sad-
ness. The facial expressions denoting these are instinctive and
common across cultures.13 However, in most cultures people
have learned how to disguise their emotions by adopting an
expression that does not represent how they really feel. For
example, do you truly believe that the flight attendant beam-
ing happily at every passenger she serves is truly happy to
meet each one? In some Asian cultures, smiling is often used
to hide displeasure, sadness, or anger.
Emotions can also be concealed by the adoption of a neu-
tral expression. Every negotiator and card player knows the
value of being able to sit with a face devoid of any expression
that might indicate to others how he or she is feeling. Thus,
while natural facial expressions provide a cross-cultural code
to others’ emotions, in many situations conventions can mean
that facial cues are either absent or misleading. For example,
in collectivist cultures, the open expression of individual emo-
tion is often suppressed because it may threaten group har-
mony. This is one reason why Westerners often characterize
Chinese and Japanese people as inscrutable.
E y e C o n t a c t
Making, or avoiding, eye contact is another important form of
nonverbal communication. In Western countries a moderate
level of eye contact during conversation is a way of commu-
nicating friendliness or interest, whereas excessive eye contact
(staring) is considered rude and lack of eye contact can be
perceived as hostile. Eye contact is also used in conversation
as a signal: for example, making eye contact with the other
person as you finish a sentence often means, “Now it’s your
turn to speak.” But Arabs, Latinos, Indians, and Pakistanis
all have conventions of longer eye contact, whereas Africans
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100 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
and East Asians interpret eye contact as conveying anger or
insubordination. A further complication is the fact that most
cultures have different conventions about eye contact depend-
ing on the gender, status, and so on of those involved.
With all areas of nonverbal communication, the ability to
observe the behavior of others, to be mindful of it, and to be
skilled at modifying one’s own behavior are key components
of cultural intelligence.
Negotiating across Cultures
Negotiation is a special communication situation in which the
objective is often for people to overcome conflicting interests
and to reach an agreement that is advantageous to all. The
practices of negotiation include the making of threats and
promises, the use of persuasion, the signaling of concessions,
and the development of compromises and creative solutions.
As usual, the existence of cross-cultural differences compli-
cates things. Most international tourists know, for example,
that there are some countries in which it is accepted custom to
haggle in shops over the price of souvenirs, and others where
one is expected to pay the marked price without any fuss.
W H E N I S I T T I M E TO D O B U S I N ES S ?
Bill Miller, a top American salesman with a major information
technology manufacturer, sits in his Mexico City hotel room, head
bowed, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Two days
into his trip and with only twenty-four hours left, he feels he is no
closer to “closing” the sale he is trying to make than he was when
he arrived.
It’s not that his Mexican hosts are hostile. On the contrary, they
smile broadly at him, take a personal interest in him, and certainly
look after all his physical needs: the hotel, for example, is excellent.
But the Mexicans show very little interest in talking business. The
manager who has been assigned to look after Bill is a good host
but is not party to the deal Bill wants to negotiate. On the way in
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 101
from the airport, when Bill began to talk about his carefully pre-
pared sales presentation, the manager seemed surprised. “Plenty
of time for that later,” he advised. “For the moment, you must be
tired from your flight. Why not relax for a day or two and do some
sightseeing first? I can look after you.”
So Bill spent his first day being shown around Mexico City, strug-
gling to conceal his impatience. On the second day, however, his
host invited him to an after-work meeting with the senior managers
of the company. Bill prepared carefully and arrived promptly at
the meeting room with his PowerPoint display. No one was there,
just a table of drinks and nibbles. Gradually the executives drifted
in. They engaged Bill conversationally in English and began to ask
questions. But the questions were not about the equipment Bill had
to sell but about his company — its history, its plans, and its future
expansion in Latin America. Next, they moved on to Bill himself, his
history in the company, his views of the IT industry and their own
industry, even his wife, family, and hobbies.
Bill was still impatient. He wanted to get on with his presentation,
but he did not want to offend his hosts. Eventually, during a pause,
he said, “Thanks — I am so grateful for your hospitality. Now, I won-
der if we might sit down and let me go through my presentation. I
think we have a real good deal here for your company.”
There was an embarrassed silence. Then the deputy CEO said
slowly, “Unfortunately, I think Mr. Alvarez may already have gone
home.” Alvarez was the CEO, and without his signature there could
be no deal. “Maybe . . .” said the deputy CEO, “maybe tomor-
row? In the meantime, why not come out to dinner so we can get
to know each other better?” This time, Bill pleaded fatigue.
How on earth, he wondered, did these people ever sell anything
to each other, or buy anything from each other, let alone from him?
Back at his home, Juan Alvarez lit a cigarette thoughtfully. The
American had looked so ill at ease that Juan just hadn’t felt like stick-
ing around. He had wanted to try to build a business relationship, a
basis not just for one future deal, but for many. Miller had thrown it
back in his face. Alvarez had seen it before with Americans.
How on earth, he wondered, did they ever learn to really trust
each other in business?
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102 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
The behavior of the different participants in the story and
the reflections of Miller and Alvarez reveal distinct outlooks
on business relationships and how best to pursue them. Bill,
like most Americans, is concerned with the short term, with
being efficient, reaching a conclusion, and not wasting time
on social trivia. Juan and his staff, like members of most
Latin cultures and many others, believe that good business
is the result of good business relationships. Therefore, the
initial effort must go into building a relationship: it is worth
spending time to do so.
The result is that both Bill and Juan endanger what they
value most — Bill endangers the immediate transaction, and
Juan endangers the long-term business relationship. If each
had been willing to accommodate, at least in part, the other’s
customs, a worthwhile business relationship could by now
be under way and each could have secured exactly what he
wanted.
Negotiating Styles
Negotiation processes typically go through different phases,
and there are intercultural differences in the emphasis on each
phase. The phases are:
■ building a relationship
■ exchanging information
■ trying to persuade each other
■ making concessions and reaching agreement14
Generally, people in Western cultures take a relatively “trans-
actional” approach to negotiation, focusing mainly on the
last two stages. Many other cultures focus on creating a
background relationship that will make agreement more
likely, and emphasize the social side of the situation over the
task side. The case of Bill Miller in Mexico is an example of
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 103
people from two cultures not being able to negotiate with
each other because each was stuck in a different part of the
process. Culturally intelligent Americans learn to be sociable
and patient in negotiation, and culturally intelligent Asians
and Latinos learn to get to the point a more quickly.
Styles of persuasion may also differ. In political and busi-
ness negotiating in Western societies, rational argument is
favored, whereas in some other countries appeals to emotion
or ideology may be used. Again, Western negotiators, hav-
ing individualist values, are relatively competitive in their
negotiating style, whereas Asians are likely to be more polite,
more obscure, and more restrained. One researcher has used
the metaphors of “sports” and “household” to explain the
different approaches of American and Japanese negotiators.
The sports metaphor of the individualist Americans suggests
that they are task-oriented, accept conflict as normal, and try
to conduct an orderly process with rules of procedure within
which they have the chance to excel and win. The household
metaphor of the more collectivist Japanese, in contrast, is
focused on their relationships, their desire to avoid overt
conflict and save face, and the fact that they gain satisfac-
tion from the performance of their role rather than from
winning.15
Another key cultural variable is power distance (see chap-
ter 2), the extent to which people expect to see power and
authority invoked to solve problems. The arbitration model
of negotiation supposes that whenever there are differences
of interest to be negotiated, there should be a higher-level
authority figure who can resolve any problem by making a
decision that is imposed on all parties. This is often observed
in Japan. Another model is the bureaucratic one, which
attempts to reduce the need for negotiation by specifying in
advance rules and procedures suitable for solving disagree-
ments. This model is often observed in Germany.
Again, there are differences in the details of negotiating:
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104 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
for example, the level at which initial offers are made and
the willingness of the negotiator to make concessions. An
American negotiator might be put off by a Chinese, Arab, or
Russian counterpart because these groups seem to start off
with extreme positions. Russians are also reluctant to make
concessions, seeing this as a sign of weakness, whereas other
groups such as North Americans and Arabs will make con-
cessions and respond to others’ concessions. To complicate
matters further, negotiators alter their behavior when they
are negotiating with people from different countries. Finally,
of course, the generalizations made above about different
cultural groups’ negotiating styles are subject to substantial
individual differences.
In cross-cultural negotiation, it may be possible to use com-
binations of these different methods, but doing so requires all
parties to step temporarily outside their normal conventions.
Principles for Cross-Cultural Communication
and Negotiation
While plenty of information is available on cross- cultural com-
munication and negotiation, from both everyday observation
and systematic research, it is difficult to spell out hard-and-
fast rules for communicating and negotiating. However, here
are some broad principles.
■ Gain the knowledge to anticipate differences. Learn
what you can of the codes and conventions of groups
that you plan to deal with. Be aware of all the various
areas of difference in communication we have noted
in this chapter — for example, verbal versus nonverbal,
contextual versus noncontextual, different negotiating
styles. Learn the prevailing cultural values of the coun-
try — for example, individualist versus collectivist — and
think about how these may influence the process of your
contacts.
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Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts 105
■ Practice mindfulness. Pay attention to the context and
the conventions of communication. There is a tendency
to focus on the code and content of messages, but you can
acquire additional information by attending to how mes-
sages are delivered. Additionally, question attributions.
In chapter 3 we discussed the process in which we go
behind surface behavior of others to attribute motivation
and meaning. As we have seen, the meaning we usually
attribute is based on a familiar understanding of our own
behavior and that of our cultural group. Practicing mind-
fulness helps us to see new possibilities for the meaning
in the behavior of other cultural groups.
■ Develop cross-cultural skills. How much should you
adapt your behavior to accommodate the codes, con-
ventions, and style of another culture? You and the other
party have potentially conflicting goals, so this situation
is challenging. Should you try to imitate them or just be
yourself? Some adaptation seems to improve relation-
ships by making the other party more comfortable, but
too much adaptation can cause suspicion and distrust.
Finding the optimal point of adaptation is more art than
science. However, by improving your cultural intelli-
gence, you can gain a broad repertoire of adaptive skills
and the knowledge of when they are appropriate.
Summary
Communication is fundamental to all social interactions and
relationships. Cross-cultural communication presents many
possible barriers to shared understanding because individuals
from different cultures don’t share a common background,
codes, or conventions. While language skills are important,
cross-cultural communication involves much more than lan-
guage differences. Culturally based codes and conventions of
language also involve nonverbal signals and communication
styles. Negotiation is a special communication situation in
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106 c u l t u r a l i n t e l l i g e n c e
which the parties have potentially conflicting goals. While all
negotiations follow a similar process, the emphasis placed on
each stage varies considerably across cultures. The challeng-
ing nature of negotiations makes high cultural intelligence a
prerequisite for knowing when, how, and how much to adapt
one’s behavior to achieve the most successful outcome.
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8o4 discu
In your reading,
Communicating, Negotiating, and Resolving Conflicts Across Cultures
, the author lists 11 second-language strategies to improve communication with ESL speakers. The author suggests that culturally intelligent people have an obligation to adapt their style to be in harmony with less skilled English speakers. Discuss a recent personal exchange with an ESL speaker and how you could have used the strategies from pages 91 and 92 to enhance the quality of your communication. For those of you who are ESL speakers, share your observations on how these strategies would enhance your ability to understand or engage in discussions. Two paragraphs will suffice.