Wk 6, MHA 516: DQ

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175 – 265 words

Cite at least one peer-reviewed reference

Resource: Ch. 18 to 19 of The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down

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Was Lia’s life ruined by cross-cultural misunderstandings? Explain your thoughts.

  • Praise
  • for

    The Spirit Catches You

    and You Fall Down

    “Fadiman describes with extraordinary skill the colliding worlds of
    Western medicine and Hmong culture.”

    —The New Yorker

    “This fine book recounts a poignant tragedy…It has no heroes or villains,
    but it has an abundance of innocent suffering, and it most certainly does
    have a moral…[A] sad, excellent book.”

    —Melvin Konner, The New York Times Book Review

    “An intriguing, spirit-lifting, extraordinary exploration of two cultures in
    uneasy coexistence…A wonderful aspect of Fadiman’s book is her even-
    handed, detailed presentation of these disparate cultures and divergent
    views—not with cool, dispassionate fairness but rather with a warm,
    involved interest that sees and embraces both sides of each issue…
    Superb, informal cultural anthropology—eye-opening, readable, utterly
    engaging.”

    —Carole Horn, The Washington Post Book World

    “This is a book that should be deeply disturbing to anyone who has given
    so much as a moment’s thought to the state of American medicine. But it
    is much more…People are presented as [Fadiman] saw them, in their
    humility and their frailty—and their nobility.”

    —Sherwin B. Nuland, The New Republic

    Anne Fadiman

    ’s phenomenal first book, The Spirit Catches You and You
    Fall Down, brings to life the enduring power of parental love in an
    impoverished refugee family struggling to protect their seriously ill
    infant daughter and ancient spiritual traditions from the tyranny of

    welfare bureaucrats and intolerant medical technocrats.”
    —Al Santoli, The Washington Times

    “A unique anthropological study of American society.”
    —Louise Steinman, Los Angeles Times

    “Some writers…have done exceedingly well at taking in one or another
    human scene, then conveying it to others—James Agee, for instance…
    and George Orwell…It is in such company that Anne Fadiman’s writing
    belongs.”

    —Robert Coles, Commonweal

    “When the Lees hedged their bets in 1982 in Merced by taking Lia to the
    hospital after one of her seizures, everybody lost. Fadiman’s account of
    why Lia failed to benefit over the years from Western medicine is a
    compelling story told in achingly beautiful prose.”

    —Steve Weinberg, Chicago Tribune

    “A deeply humane anthropological document written with the grace of a
    lyric and the suspense of a thriller.”

    —Abby Frucht, Newsday

    “Fadiman’s meticulously researched nonfiction book exudes passion and
    humanity without casting a disparaging eye at either the immigrant
    parents, who don’t speak English, or the frustrated doctors who can’t
    decipher the baby’s symptoms…The Spirit Catches You and You Fall
    Down conveys one family’s story in a balanced, compelling way.”

    —Jae-Ha Kim, The Cleveland Plain Dealer

    “Fadiman’s sensitive reporting explores a vast cultural gap.”
    —People Magazine

    “Compellingly written, from the heart and from the trenches. I couldn’t

    wait to finish it, then reread it and ponder it again. It is a powerful case
    study of a medical tragedy.”

    —David H. Mark, Journal of the American Medical Association

    “The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down is Fadiman’s haunting
    account, written over a nine-year period, of one very sick girl in Merced,
    California…What happens to Lia Lee is both enlightening and deeply
    disturbing.”

    —Kristin Van Ogtrop, Vogue

    “Fadiman gives us a narrative as compelling as any thriller, a work
    populated by the large cast of characters who fall in love with Lia. This is
    a work of passionate advocacy, urging our medical establishment to
    consider how their immigrant patients conceptualize health and disease.
    This astonishing book helps us better understand our own culture even as
    we learn about another—and changes our deepest beliefs about the
    mysterious relationship between body and soul.”

    —Elle

    “The other day, I picked up a book I had no intention of buying. Eight
    hours later, having lifted my head only long enough to pay for the book
    and drive home, I closed Anne Fadiman’s The Spirit Catches You and You
    Fall Down and started calling friends…This is an important book.”

    —Wanda A. Adams, The Honolulu Advertiser

  • Contents
  • Preface
  • 1 /

    Birth

    2 /

    Fish Soup

    3 / The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down
    4 /

    Do Doctors Eat Brains?

    5 /

    Take as Directed

    6 /

    High-Velocity Transcortical Lead Therapy

    7 /

    Government Property

    8 /

    Foua and Nao Kao

    9 /

    A Little Medicine and a Little Neeb

    10 /

    War

    11 /

    The Big One

    12 /

    Flight

    13 /

    Code X

    14 /

    The Melting Pot

    15 /

    Gold and Dross

    16 /

    Why Did They Pick Merced?

    17 /

    The Eight Questions

    18 /

    The Life or the Soul

    19 /

    The Sacrifice

    Note on Hmong Orthography, Pronunciation, and Quotations

    Notes on Sources

  • Bibliography
  • Acknowledgments
  • Index
  • Preface

    Under my desk I keep a large carton of cassette tapes. Even though they
    have all been transcribed, I still like to listen to them from time to time.

    Some of them are quiet and easily understood. They are filled with
    the voices of American doctors, interrupted only occasionally by the
    clink of a coffee cup or the beep of a pager. The rest of the tapes—more
    than half of them—are very noisy. They are filled with the voices of the
    Lees, a family of Hmong refugees from Laos who came to the United
    States in 1980. Against a background of babies crying, children playing,
    doors slamming, dishes clattering, a television yammering, and an air
    conditioner wheezing, I can hear the mother’s voice, by turns breathy,
    nasal, gargly, or humlike as it slides up and down the Hmong language’s
    eight tones; the father’s voice, louder and slower and more vehement; and
    my interpreter’s voice, mediating in Hmong and English, low and
    deferential in each language. The hubbub summons a whoosh of sense-
    memories: the coolness of the red metal folding chair, reserved for
    guests, that was always set up as soon as I arrived in the apartment; the
    shadows cast by the amulet that hung from the ceiling and swung in the
    breeze on its length of grocer’s twine; the tastes of Hmong food, from the
    best (quav ntsuas,* a sweet stalk similar to sugarcane) to the worst (ntshav
    ciaj,* congealed raw pig’s blood).

    I sat on the Lees’ red folding chair for the first time on May 19, 1988.
    Earlier that spring I had come to Merced, California, where they lived,
    because I had heard that there were some strange misunderstandings
    going on at the county hospital between its Hmong patients and its
    medical staff. One doctor called them “collisions,” which made it sound
    as if two different kinds of people had rammed into each other, head on,
    to the accompaniment of squealing brakes and breaking glass. As it
    turned out, the encounters were messy but rarely frontal. Both sides were

    wounded, but neither side seemed to know what had hit it or how to avoid
    another crash.

    I have always felt that the action most worth watching is not at the
    center of things but where edges meet. I like shorelines, weather fronts,
    international borders. There are interesting frictions and incongruities in
    these places, and often, if you stand at the point of tangency, you can see
    both sides better than if you were in the middle of either one. This is
    especially true, I think, when the apposition is cultural. When I first came
    to Merced, I hoped that the culture of American medicine, about which I
    knew a little, and the culture of the Hmong, about which I knew nothing,
    would in some way illuminate each other if I could position myself
    between the two and manage not to get caught in the cross fire.

    Nine years ago, that was all theory. After I heard about the Lees’
    daughter Lia, whose case had occasioned some of the worst strife the
    Merced hospital had ever seen, and after I got to know her family and her
    doctors, and after I realized how much I liked both sides and how hard it
    was to lay the blame at anyone’s door (though God knows I tried), I
    stopped parsing the situation in such linear terms, which meant that
    without intending to, I had started to think a little less like an American
    and a little more like a Hmong. By chance, during the years I worked on
    this book, my husband, my father, my daughter, and I all experienced
    serious illnesses, and, like the Lees, I found myself spending a lot of time
    in hospitals. I passed many hours in waiting rooms gnawing on the
    question, What is a good doctor? During the same period, my two
    children were born, and I found myself often asking a second question
    that is also germane to the Lees’ story: What is a good parent?

    I have now known the people in this book for much of my adult life. I
    am sure that if I had never met Lia’s doctors, I would be a different kind
    of patient. I am sure that if I had never met her family, I would be a
    different kind of mother. When I pull a few cassettes from the carton
    beneath my desk and listen to random snatches, I am plunged into a
    pungent wash of remembrance, and at the same time I am reminded of
    the lessons I am still learning from both of the cultures I have written
    about. Now and then, when I play the tapes late at night, I imagine what

    they would sound like if I could somehow splice them together, so the
    voices of the Hmong and the voices of the American doctors could be
    heard on a single tape, speaking a common language.

    A.F.

    1

    Birth

    If Lia Lee had been born in the highlands of northwest Laos, where her
    parents and twelve of her brothers and sisters were born, her mother
    would have squatted on the floor of the house that her father had built
    from ax-hewn planks thatched with bamboo and grass. The floor was dirt,
    but it was clean. Her mother, Foua, sprinkled it regularly with water to
    keep the dust down and swept it every morning and evening with a broom
    she had made of grass and bark. She used a bamboo dustpan, which she
    had also made herself, to collect the feces of the children who were too
    young to defecate outside, and emptied its contents in the forest. Even if
    Foua had been a less fastidious housekeeper, her newborn babies
    wouldn’t have gotten dirty, since she never let them actually touch the
    floor. She remains proud to this day that she delivered each of them into
    her own hands, reaching between her legs to ease out the head and then
    letting the rest of the body slip out onto her bent forearms. No birth
    attendant was present, though if her throat became dry during labor, her
    husband, Nao Kao, was permitted to bring her a cup of hot water, as long
    as he averted his eyes from her body. Because Foua believed that
    moaning or screaming would thwart the birth, she labored in silence, with
    the exception of an occasional prayer to her ancestors. She was so quiet
    that although most of her babies were born at night, her older children
    slept undisturbed on a communal bamboo pallet a few feet away, and
    woke only when they heard the cry of their new brother or sister. After
    each birth, Nao Kao cut the umbilical cord with heated scissors and tied it
    with string. Then Foua washed the baby with water she had carried from
    the stream, usually in the early phases of labor, in a wooden and bamboo

    pack-barrel strapped to her back.
    Foua conceived, carried, and bore all her children with ease, but had

    there been any problems, she would have had recourse to a variety of
    remedies that were commonly used by the Hmong, the hilltribe to which
    her family belonged. If a Hmong couple failed to produce children, they
    could call in a txiv neeb, a shaman who was believed to have the ability to
    enter a trance, summon a posse of helpful familiars, ride a winged horse
    over the twelve mountains between the earth and the sky, cross an ocean
    inhabited by dragons, and (starting with bribes of food and money and, if
    necessary, working up to a necromantic sword) negotiate for his patients’
    health with the spirits who lived in the realm of the unseen. A txiv neeb
    might be able to cure infertility by asking the couple to sacrifice a dog, a
    cat, a chicken, or a sheep. After the animal’s throat was cut, the txiv neeb
    would string a rope bridge from the doorpost to the marriage bed, over
    which the soul of the couple’s future baby, which had been detained by a
    malevolent spirit called a dab, could now freely travel to earth. One could
    also take certain precautions to avoid becoming infertile in the first place.
    For example, no Hmong woman of childbearing age would ever think of
    setting foot inside a cave, because a particularly unpleasant kind of dab
    sometimes lived there who liked to eat flesh and drink blood and could
    make his victim sterile by having sexual intercourse with her.

    Once a Hmong woman became pregnant, she could ensure the health
    of her child by paying close attention to her food cravings. If she craved
    ginger and failed to eat it, her child would be born with an extra finger or
    toe. If she craved chicken flesh and did not eat it, her child would have a
    blemish near its ear. If she craved eggs and did not eat them, her child
    would have a lumpy head. When a Hmong woman felt the first pangs of
    labor, she would hurry home from the rice or opium fields, where she had
    continued to work throughout her pregnancy. It was important to reach
    her own house, or at least the house of one of her husband’s cousins,
    because if she gave birth anywhere else a dab might injure her. A long or
    arduous labor could be eased by drinking the water in which a key had
    been boiled, in order to unlock the birth canal; by having her family array
    bowls of sacred water around the room and chant prayers over them; or, if

    the difficulty stemmed from having treated an elder member of the
    family with insufficient respect, by washing the offended relative’s
    fingertips and apologizing like crazy until the relative finally said, “I
    forgive you.”

    Soon after the birth, while the mother and baby were still lying
    together next to the fire pit, the father dug a hole at least two feet deep in
    the dirt floor and buried the placenta. If it was a girl, her placenta was
    buried under her parents’ bed; if it was a boy, his placenta was buried in a
    place of greater honor, near the base of the house’s central wooden pillar,
    in which a male spirit, a domestic guardian who held up the roof of the
    house and watched over its residents, made his home. The placenta was
    always buried with the smooth side, the side that had faced the fetus
    inside the womb, turned upward, since if it was upside down, the baby
    might vomit after nursing. If the baby’s face erupted in spots, that meant
    the placenta was being attacked by ants underground, and boiling water
    was poured into the burial hole as an insecticide. In the Hmong language,
    the word for placenta means “jacket.” It is considered one’s first and
    finest garment. When a Hmong dies, his or her soul must travel back
    from place to place, retracing the path of its life geography, until it
    reaches the burial place of its placental jacket, and puts it on. Only after
    the soul is properly dressed in the clothing in which it was born can it
    continue its dangerous journey, past murderous dabs and giant poisonous
    caterpillars, around man-eating rocks and impassable oceans, to the place
    beyond the sky where it is reunited with its ancestors and from which it
    will someday be sent to be reborn as the soul of a new baby. If the soul
    cannot find its jacket, it is condemned to an eternity of wandering, naked
    and alone.

    Because the Lees are among the 150,000 Hmong who have fled Laos
    since their country fell to communist forces in 1975, they do not know if
    their house is still standing, or if the five male and seven female
    placentas that Nao Kao buried under the dirt floor are still there. They
    believe that half of the placentas have already been put to their final use,
    since four of their sons and two of their daughters died of various causes
    before the Lees came to the United States. The Lees believe that someday

    the souls of most of the rest of their family will have a long way to travel,
    since they will have to retrace their steps from Merced, California, where
    the family has spent fifteen of its seventeen years in this country; to
    Portland, Oregon, where they lived before Merced; to Honolulu, Hawaii,
    where their airplane from Thailand first landed; to two Thai refugee
    camps; and finally back to their home village in Laos.

    The Lees’ thirteenth child, Mai, was born in a refugee camp in
    Thailand. Her placenta was buried under their hut. Their fourteenth child,
    Lia, was born in the Merced Community Medical Center, a modern
    public hospital that serves an agricultural county in California’s Central
    Valley, where many Hmong refugees have resettled. Lia’s placenta was
    incinerated. Some Hmong women have asked the doctors at MCMC, as
    the hospital is commonly called, if they could take their babies’ placentas
    home. Several of the doctors have acquiesced, packing the placentas in
    plastic bags or take-out containers from the hospital cafeteria; most have
    refused, in some cases because they have assumed that the women
    planned to eat the placentas, and have found that idea disgusting, and in
    some cases because they have feared the possible spread of hepatitis B,
    which is carried by at least fifteen percent of the Hmong refugees in the
    United States. Foua never thought to ask, since she speaks no English,
    and when she delivered Lia, no one present spoke Hmong. In any case,
    the Lees’ apartment had a wooden floor covered with wall-to-wall
    carpeting, so burying the placenta would have been a difficult
    proposition.

    When Lia was born, at 7:09 p.m. on July 19, 1982, Foua was lying on
    her back on a steel table, her body covered with sterile drapes, her genital
    area painted with a brown Betadine solution, with a high-wattage lamp
    trained on her perineum. There were no family members in the room.
    Gary Thueson, a family practice resident who did the delivery, noted in
    the chart that in order to speed the labor, he had artificially ruptured
    Foua’s amniotic sac by poking it with a foot-long plastic “amni-hook”
    that no anesthesia was used; that no episiotomy, an incision to enlarge the
    vaginal opening, was necessary; and that after the birth, Foua received a
    standard intravenous dose of Pitocin to constrict her uterus. Dr. Thueson

    also noted that Lia was a “healthy infant” whose weight, 8 pounds

    7

    ounces, and condition were “appropriate for gestational age” (an estimate
    he based on observation alone, since Foua had received no prenatal care,
    was not certain how long she had been pregnant, and could not have told
    Dr. Thueson even if she had known). Foua thinks that Lia was her largest
    baby, although she isn’t sure, since none of her thirteen elder children
    were weighed at birth. Lia’s Apgar scores, an assessment of a newborn
    infant’s heart rate, respiration, muscle tone, color, and reflexes, were
    good: one minute after her birth she scored 7 on a scale of 10, and four
    minutes later she scored 9. When she was six minutes old, her color was
    described as “pink” and her activity as “crying.” Lia was shown briefly to
    her mother. Then she was placed in a steel and Plexiglas warmer, where a
    nurse fastened a plastic identification band around her wrist and recorded
    her footprints by inking the soles of her feet with a stamp pad and
    pressing them against a Newborn Identification form. After that, Lia was
    removed to the central nursery, where she received an injection of
    Vitamin K in one of her thighs to prevent hemorrhagic disease; was
    treated with two drops of silver nitrate solution in each eye, to prevent an
    infection from gonococcal bacteria; and was bathed with Safeguard soap.

    Foua’s own date of birth was recorded on Lia’s Delivery Room
    Record as October 6, 1944. In fact, she has no idea when she was born,
    and on various other occasions during the next several years she would
    inform MCMC personnel, through English-speaking relatives such as the
    nephew’s wife who had helped her check into the hospital for Lia’s
    delivery, that her date of birth was October 6, 1942, or, more frequently,
    October 6, 1926. Not a single admitting clerk ever appears to have
    questioned the latter date, though it would imply that Foua gave birth to
    Lia at the age of 55. Foua is quite sure, however, that October is correct,
    since she was told by her parents that she was born during the season in
    which the opium fields are weeded for the second time and the harvested
    rice stalks are stacked. She invented the precise day of the month, like the
    year, in order to satisfy the many Americans who have evinced an
    abhorrence of unfilled blanks on the innumerable forms the Lees have
    encountered since their admission to the United States in 1980. Most

    Hmong refugees are familiar with this American trait and have
    accommodated it in the same way. Nao Kao Lee has a first cousin who
    told the immigration officials that all nine of his children were born on
    July 15, in nine consecutive years, and this information was duly
    recorded on their resident alien documents.

    When Lia Lee was released from MCMC, at the age of three days, her
    mother was asked to sign a piece of paper that read:

    I CERTIFY that during the discharge procedure I received my
    baby, examined it and determined that it was mine. I checked the
    Ident-A-Band® parts sealed on the baby and on me and found that
    they were identically numbered 5043 and contained correct
    identifying information.

    Since Foua cannot read and has never learned to recognize Arabic
    numerals, it is unlikely that she followed these instructions. However, she
    had been asked for her signature so often in the United States that she had
    mastered the capital forms of the seven different letters contained in her
    name, Foua Yang. (The Yangs and the Lees are among the largest of the
    Hmong clans; the other major ones are the Chas, the Chengs, the Hangs,
    the Hers, the Kues, the Los, the Mouas, the Thaos, the Vues, the Xiongs,
    and the Vangs. In Laos, the clan name came first, but most Hmong
    refugees in the United States use it as a surname. Children belong to their
    father’s clan; women traditionally retain their clan name after marriage.
    Marrying a member of one’s own clan is strictly taboo.) Foua’s signature
    is no less legible than the signatures of most of MCMC’s resident
    physicians-in-training, which, particularly if they are written toward the
    end of a twenty-four-hour shift, tend to resemble EEGs. However, it has
    the unique distinction of looking different each time it appears on a
    hospital document. On this occasion, FOUAYANG was written as a
    single word. One A is canted to the left and one to the right, the Y looks
    like an X, and the legs of the N undulate gracefully, like a child’s drawing
    of a wave.

    It is a credit to Foua’s general equanimity, as well as her

    characteristic desire not to think ill of anyone, that although she found
    Lia’s birth a peculiar experience, she has few criticisms of the way the
    hospital handled it. Her doubts about MCMC in particular, and American
    medicine in general, would not begin to gather force until Lia had visited
    the hospital many times. On this occasion, she thought the doctor was
    gentle and kind, she was impressed that so many people were there to
    help her, and although she felt that the nurses who bathed Lia with
    Safeguard did not get her quite as clean as she had gotten her newborns
    with Laotian stream water, her only major complaint concerned the
    hospital food. She was surprised to be offered ice water after the birth,
    since many Hmong believe that cold foods during the postpartum period
    make the blood congeal in the womb instead of cleansing it by flowing
    freely, and that a woman who does not observe the taboo against them
    will develop itchy skin or diarrhea in her old age. Foua did accept several
    cups of what she remembers as hot black water. This was probably either
    tea or beef broth; Foua is sure it wasn’t coffee, which she had seen before
    and would have recognized. The black water was the only MCMC-
    provided food that passed her lips during her stay in the maternity ward.
    Each day, Nao Kao cooked and brought her the diet that is strictly
    prescribed for Hmong women during the thirty days following childbirth:
    steamed rice, and chicken boiled in water with five special postpartum
    herbs (which the Lees had grown for this purpose on the edge of the
    parking lot behind their apartment building). This diet was familiar to the
    doctors on the Labor and Delivery floor at MCMC, whose assessments of
    it were fairly accurate gauges of their general opinion of the Hmong. One
    obstetrician, Raquel Arias, recalled, “The Hmong men carried these nice
    little silver cans to the hospital that always had some kind of chicken
    soup in them and always smelled great.” Another obstetrician, Robert
    Small, said, “They always brought some horrible stinking concoction that
    smelled like the chicken had been dead for a week.” Foua never shared
    her meals with anyone, because there is a postpartum taboo against
    spilling grains of rice accidentally into the chicken pot. If that occurs, the
    newborn is likely to break out across the nose and cheeks with little white
    pimples whose name in the Hmong language is the same as the word for

    “rice.”
    Some Hmong parents in Merced have given their children American

    names. In addition to many standard ones, these have included Kennedy,
    Nixon, Pajama, Guitar, Main (after Merced’s Main Street), and, until a
    nurse counseled otherwise, Baby Boy, which one mother, seeing it written
    on her son’s hospital papers, assumed was the name the doctor had
    already chosen for him. The Lees chose to give their daughter a Hmong
    name, Lia. Her name was officially conferred in a ceremony called a hu
    plig, or soul-calling, which in Laos always took place on the third day
    after birth. Until this ceremony was performed, a baby was not
    considered to be fully a member of the human race, and if it died during
    its first three days it was not accorded the customary funerary rites. (This
    may have been a cultural adaptation to the fifty-percent infant mortality
    rate, a way of steeling Hmong mothers against the frequent loss of their
    babies during or shortly after childbirth by encouraging them to postpone
    their attachment.) In the United States, the naming is usually celebrated
    at a later time, since on its third day a baby may still be hospitalized,
    especially if the birth was complicated. It took the Lee family about a
    month to save enough money from their welfare checks, and from gifts
    from their relatives’ welfare checks, to finance a soul-calling party for
    Lia.

    Although the Hmong believe that illness can be caused by a variety of
    sources—including eating the wrong food, drinking contaminated water,
    being affected by a change in the weather, failing to ejaculate completely
    during sexual intercourse, neglecting to make offerings to one’s
    ancestors, being punished for one’s ancestors’ transgressions, being
    cursed, being hit by a whirlwind, having a stone implanted in one’s body
    by an evil spirit master, having one’s blood sucked by a dab, bumping
    into a dab who lives in a tree or a stream, digging a well in a dab’s living
    place, catching sight of a dwarf female dab who eats earthworms, having
    a dab sit on one’s chest while one is sleeping, doing one’s laundry in a
    lake inhabited by a dragon, pointing one’s finger at the full moon,
    touching a newborn mouse, killing a large snake, urinating on a rock that
    looks like a tiger, urinating on or kicking a benevolent house spirit, or

    having bird droppings fall on one’s head—by far the most common cause
    of illness is soul loss. Although the Hmong do not agree on just how
    many souls people have (estimates range from one to thirty-two; the Lees
    believe there is only one), there is a general consensus that whatever the
    number, it is the life-soul, whose presence is necessary for health and
    happiness, that tends to get lost. A life-soul can become separated from
    its body through anger, grief, fear, curiosity, or wanderlust. The life-souls
    of newborn babies are especially prone to disappearance, since they are
    so small, so vulnerable, and so precariously poised between the realm of
    the unseen, from which they have just traveled, and the realm of the
    living. Babies’ souls may wander away, drawn by bright colors, sweet
    sounds, or fragrant smells; they may leave if a baby is sad, lonely, or
    insufficiently loved by its parents; they may be frightened away by a
    sudden loud noise; or they may be stolen by a dab. Some Hmong are
    careful never to say aloud that a baby is pretty, lest a dab be listening.
    Hmong babies are often dressed in intricately embroidered hats (Foua
    made several for Lia) which, when seen from a heavenly perspective,
    might fool a predatory dab into thinking the child was a flower. They
    spend much of their time swaddled against their mothers’ backs in cloth
    carriers called nyias (Foua made Lia several of these too) that have been
    embroidered with soul-retaining motifs, such as the pigpen, which
    symbolizes enclosure. They may wear silver necklaces fastened with
    soul-shackling locks. When babies or small children go on an outing,
    their parents may call loudly to their souls before the family returns
    home, to make sure that none remain behind. Hmong families in Merced
    can sometimes be heard doing this when they leave local parks after a
    picnic. None of these ploys can work, however, unless the soul-calling
    ritual has already been properly observed.

    Lia’s hu plig took place in the living room of her family’s apartment.
    There were so many guests, all of them Hmong and most of them
    members of the Lee and Yang clans, that it was nearly impossible to turn
    around. Foua and Nao Kao were proud that so many people had come to
    celebrate their good fortune in being favored with such a healthy and
    beautiful daughter. That morning Nao Kao had sacrificed a pig in order to

    invite the soul of one of Lia’s ancestors, which was probably hungry and
    would appreciate an offering of food, to be reborn in her body. After the
    guests arrived, an elder of the Yang clan stood at the apartment’s open
    front door, facing East 12th Street, with two live chickens in a bag on the
    floor next to him, and chanted a greeting to Lia’s soul. The two chickens
    were then killed, plucked, eviscerated, partially boiled, retrieved from the
    cooking pot, and examined to see if their skulls were translucent and their
    tongues curled upward, both signs that Lia’s new soul was pleased to take
    up residence in her body and that her name was a good one. (If the signs
    had been inauspicious, the soul-caller would have recommended that
    another name be chosen.) After the reading of the auguries, the chickens
    were put back in the cooking pot. The guests would later eat them and the
    pig for dinner. Before the meal, the soul-caller brushed Lia’s hands with a
    bundle of short white strings and said, “I am sweeping away the ways of
    sickness.” Then Lia’s parents and all of the elders present in the room
    each tied a string around one of Lia’s wrists in order to bind her soul
    securely to her body. Foua and Nao Kao promised to love her; the elders
    blessed her and prayed that she would have a long life and that she would
    never become sick.

    2

    Fish Soup

    In an intermediate French class at Merced College a few years ago, the
    students were assigned a five-minute oral report, to be delivered in
    French. The second student to stand up in front of the class was a young
    Hmong man. His chosen topic was a recipe for la soupe de poisson: Fish
    Soup. To prepare Fish Soup, he said, you must have a fish, and in order to
    have a fish, you have to go fishing. In order to go fishing, you need a
    hook, and in order to choose the right hook, you need to know whether the
    fish you are fishing for lives in fresh or salt water, how big it is, and what
    shape its mouth is. Continuing in this vein for forty-five minutes, the
    student filled the blackboard with a complexly branching tree of factors
    and options, a sort of piscatory flowchart, written in French with an
    overlay of Hmong. He also told several anecdotes about his own fishing
    experiences. He concluded with a description of how to clean various
    kinds of fish, how to cut them up, and, finally, how to cook them in
    broths flavored with various herbs. When the class period ended, he told
    the other students that he hoped he had provided enough information, and
    he wished them good luck in preparing Fish Soup in the Hmong manner.

    The professor of French who told me this story said, “Fish Soup.
    That’s the essence of the Hmong.” The Hmong have a phrase, hais cuaj
    txub kaum txub, which means “to speak of all kinds of things.” It is often
    used at the beginning of an oral narrative as a way of reminding the
    listeners that the world is full of things that may not seem to be
    connected but actually are; that no event occurs in isolation; that you can
    miss a lot by sticking to the point; and that the storyteller is likely to be
    rather long-winded. I once heard Nao Kao Lee begin a description of his

    village in Laos by saying, “It was where I was born and where my father
    was born and died and was buried and where my father’s father died and
    was buried, but my father’s father was born in China and to tell you about
    that would take all night.” If a Hmong tells a fable, for example, about
    Why Animals Cannot Talk or Why Doodle Bugs Roll Balls of Dung, he is
    likely to begin with the beginning of the world. (Actually, according to
    Dab Neeg Hmoob: Myths, Legends and Folk Tales from the Hmong of
    Laos, a bilingual collection edited by Charles Johnson, those two fables
    go back only to the second beginning of the world, the time after the
    universe turned upside down and the earth was flooded with water and
    everyone drowned except a brother and sister who married each other and
    had a child who looked like an egg, whom they hacked into small pieces.)
    If I were Hmong, I might feel that what happened when Lia Lee and her
    family encountered the American medical system could be understood
    fully only by beginning with the first beginning of the world. But since I
    am not Hmong, I will go back only a few hundred generations, to the time
    when the Hmong were living in the river plains of north-central China.

    For as long as it has been recorded, the history of the Hmong has been
    a marathon series of bloody scrimmages, punctuated by occasional
    periods of peace, though hardly any of plenty. Over and over again, the
    Hmong have responded to persecution and to pressures to assimilate by
    either fighting or migrating—a pattern that has been repeated so many
    times, in so many different eras and places, that it begins to seem almost
    a genetic trait, as inevitable in its recurrence as their straight hair or their
    short, sturdy stature. Most of the conflicts took place in China, to which
    the prehistoric ancestors of the Hmong are thought to have migrated from
    Eurasia, with a stopover of a few millennia in Siberia. These northerly
    roots would explain the references in Hmong rituals, including some that
    are still practiced during the New Year celebrations and at funerals, to a
    Hmong homeland called Ntuj Khaib Huab, which (according to a 192

    4

    account by François Marie Savina, a French apostolic missionary who
    served in Laos and Tonkin) “was perpetually covered with snow and ice;
    where the days and the nights each lasted for six months; the trees were
    scarce and very small; and the people were also very small, and dressed

    entirely in furs.” European ancestry would also explain why the Hmong
    have fairer skin than other Asian peoples, no epicanthic folds beneath
    their eyelids, and sometimes big noses. It would not explain why Ssu-ma
    Ch’ien, a Chinese scholar of the Han dynasty in the second century B.C.,
    described the Hmong as a race “whose face, eyes, feet, and hands
    resembled those of other people, but under their armpits they had wings,
    with which, however, they were unable to fly.” It would also fail to
    explain why, as late as the nineteenth century, many Chinese claimed that
    the Hmong had small tails.

    The Chinese called the Hmong the Miao or Meo, which means,
    depending on which linguistic historian you read, “barbarians,”
    “bumpkins,” “people who sound like cats,” or “wild uncultivated
    grasses.” In any case, it was an insult. (“Hmong,” the name they prefer
    themselves, is usually said to mean “free men,” but some scholars say
    that, like “Inuit,” “Dine,” and many other tribal names the world over, it
    simply means “the people.”) The Hmong called the Chinese sons of dogs.
    The Chinese viewed the Hmong as fearless, uncouth, and recalcitrant. It
    was a continuing slap in the face that they never evinced any interest in
    adopting the civilized customs of Chinese culture, preferring to keep to
    themselves, marry each other, speak their own language, wear their own
    tribal dress, play their own musical instruments, and practice their own
    religion. They never even ate with chopsticks. The Hmong viewed the
    Chinese as meddlesome and oppressive, and rebelled against their
    sovereignty in hundreds of small and large revolts. Though both sides
    were equally violent, it was not a symmetrical relationship. The Hmong
    never had any interest in ruling over the Chinese or anyone else; they
    wanted merely to be left alone, which, as their later history was also to
    illustrate, may be the most difficult request any minority can make of a
    majority culture.

    The earliest account of Hmong-Chinese relations concerns a probably
    mythical, but emotionally resonant, emperor named Hoang-ti, who was
    said to have lived around 2700 B.C. Hoang-ti decided that the Hmong were
    too barbaric to be governed by the same laws as everyone else, and that
    they would henceforth be subject to a special criminal code. Instead of

    being imprisoned like other offenders, the Hmong who were not executed
    outright were to have their noses, ears, or testicles sliced off. The Hmong
    rebelled; the Chinese cracked down; the Hmong rebelled again; the
    Chinese cracked down again; and after a few centuries of this the Hmong
    gradually retreated from their rice fields in the valleys of the Yangtze and
    Yellow rivers, moving to more and more southerly latitudes and higher
    and higher altitudes. “That is how the Miao* became mountain people,”
    wrote Father Savina. “That is also how they were able to preserve their
    independence in the midst of other peoples, maintaining intact, along
    with their language and their customs, the ethnic spirit of their race.”

    Around A.D. 400, the Hmong succeeded in establishing an independent
    kingdom in the Honan, Hupeh, and Hunan provinces. Since even among
    themselves they were (as Father Jean Mottin, a modern French
    missionary in Thailand, has put it) “allergic to all kind of authority,” the
    power of their kings was limited by a complex system of village and
    district assemblies. Though the crown was hereditary, each new king was
    chosen from among the former king’s sons by an electorate of all the
    arms-bearing men in the kingdom. Since the Hmong practiced polygyny,
    and kings had an especially large number of wives, the pool of candidates
    was usually ample enough to afford an almost democratically wide
    choice. The Hmong kingdom lasted for five hundred years before the
    Chinese managed to crush it. Most of the Hmong migrated again, this
    time toward the west, to the mountains of Kweichow and Szechuan. More
    insurrections followed. Some Hmong warriors were known for using
    poisoned arrows; others went into battle dressed in copper and buffalo-
    hide armor, carrying knives clenched between their teeth in addition to
    the usual spears and shields. Some Hmong crossbows were so big it took
    three men to draw them. In the sixteenth century, in order to keep the
    Hmong from venturing outside Kweichow, the Ming dynasty constructed
    the Hmong Wall, a smaller version of the Great Wall of China that was
    one hundred miles long, ten feet tall, and manned by armed guards. For a
    time the Hmong were contained, but not controlled. Gabriel de
    Magaillans, a Jesuit missionary who traveled through China in the
    seventeenth century, wrote that they “pay no tribute to the emperor, nor

    yield him any obedience…. The Chinese stand in fear of them; so that
    after several trials which they have made of their prowess, they have been
    forced to let them live at their own liberty.”

    The Chinese tried to “pacify” and “sinicize” the Hmong by telling
    them that they had to surrender their arms, that they had to wear Chinese
    clothes, that the men had to cut their hair short, and that they were
    forbidden to sacrifice buffalos. Those who submitted were called the
    “Cooked Miao” those who refused were the “Raw Miao.” There were a
    lot more Raw Miao than cooked ones. In 1730 or thereabouts, hundreds of
    Hmong warriors killed their wives and children, believing they would
    fight more fiercely if they had nothing to lose. (It worked for a while.
    Thus unencumbered, they seized several passes, severing Chinese supply
    lines, before they themselves were all killed or captured.) In 1772, a
    small army of Hmong squashed a large army of Chinese in eastern
    Kweichow by rolling boulders on their heads while they were marching
    through a narrow gorge. The Manchu emperor, Ch’ien-lung, decided he
    would be satisfied with nothing less than the extermination of the entire
    Hmong tribe, a goal whose unsuccessful pursuit ultimately cost him twice
    what he had spent conquering the entire kingdom of Turkestan. Ch’ien-
    lung dispatched another general to the Hmong regions. After many
    months of sieges and battles, the general told Sonom, the Hmong king of
    greater Kintchuen, that if he surrendered, his family would be spared.
    Sonom swallowed this story. When he and his family were brought before
    the emperor, they were chopped into bits, and their heads were placed in
    cages for public exhibition.

    It is, perhaps, no surprise that by the beginning of the nineteenth
    century, a large number of Hmong decided that they had had enough of
    China. Not only were they fed up with being persecuted, but their soil was
    also getting depleted, there was a rash of epidemics, and taxes were
    rising. Although the majority of the Hmong stayed behind—today there
    are about five million Hmong in China, more than in any other country—
    about a half million migrated to Indochina, walking the ridgelines,
    driving their horses and cattle ahead of them, carrying everything they
    owned. As was their custom, they went to the highlands, settling first in

    what are now Vietnam and Laos, and later in Thailand. For the most part,
    they built their villages in places where no one else wanted to live. But if
    the local tribes objected or demanded tribute, the Hmong fought back
    with flintlock blunderbusses, or with their fists, and usually won. Father
    Mottin quotes an official who said, “I saw a Meo take my son by the feet
    and break his spine against the posts of my hut.” After the French
    established control over Indochina in the 1890s, the Hmong rebelled
    against their extortionate tax system in a series of revolts. One of them,
    called the Madman’s War, which lasted from 1919 to 1921, was led by a
    messianic figure named Pa Chay, who had a habit of climbing trees so
    that he could receive his military orders directly from heaven. His
    followers blew away large numbers of colonial soldiers with ten-foot-
    long cannons made from tree trunks. Only after the French granted them
    special administrative status in 1920, acknowledging that the best way to
    avoid being driven crazy by them was to leave them alone, did the
    Hmong of Laos, who constituted the largest group outside China, settle
    down peaceably to several unbroken decades of farming mountain rice,
    growing opium, and having as little contact as possible with the French,
    the lowland Lao, or any of the other ethnic groups who lived at lower
    elevations.

    The history of the Hmong yields several lessons that anyone who
    deals with them might do well to remember. Among the most obvious of
    these are that the Hmong do not like to take orders; that they do not like
    to lose; that they would rather flee, fight, or die than surrender; that they
    are not intimidated by being outnumbered; that they are rarely persuaded
    that the customs of other cultures, even those more powerful than their
    own, are superior; and that they are capable of getting very angry.
    Whether you find these traits infuriating or admirable depends largely on
    whether or not you are trying to make a Hmong do something he or she
    would prefer not to do. Those who have tried to defeat, deceive, govern,
    regulate, constrain, assimilate, intimidate, or patronize the Hmong have,
    as a rule, disliked them intensely.

    On the other hand, many historians, anthropologists, and missionaries
    (to whom the Hmong have usually been polite, if not always receptive, as

    long as the proselytizing has not been coercive) have developed a great
    fondness for them. Father Savina wrote that the Hmong possessed “a
    bravery and courage inferior to that of no other people,” because of which
    “they have never had a homeland, but neither have they ever known
    servitude and slavery.” William Robert Geddes, an Australian
    anthropologist, spent most of 1958 and 1959 in Pasamliem, a Hmong
    village in northern Thailand. (Though more Hmong lived in Laos and
    Vietnam, most Western observers in the last half century or so have
    worked in Thailand because of its stabler political situation.) Geddes did
    not find his fieldwork easy. The villagers were too proud to sell him food,
    so he had to transport his supplies by packhorse, nor would they allow
    themselves to be hired to build him a house, so he had to employ opium
    addicts from a Thai village lower down the mountain. However, the
    Hmong eventually won his deep respect. In his book Migrants of the
    Mountains, Geddes wrote:

    The preservation by the Miao of their ethnic identity for such a
    long time despite their being split into many small groups
    surrounded by different alien peoples and scattered over a vast
    geographic area is an outstanding record paralleling in some ways
    that of the Jews but more remarkable because they lacked the
    unifying forces of literacy and a doctrinal religion and because the
    features they preserved seem to be more numerous.

    Robert Cooper, a British anthropologist who spent two years studying
    resource scarcity in four Hmong communities in northern Thailand,
    described his research subjects as

    polite without fawning, proud but not arrogant. Hospitable without
    being pushy; discreet respecters of personal liberty who demand
    only that their liberty be respected in return. People who do not
    steal or lie. Self-sufficient people who showed no trace of
    jealousy of an outsider who said he wanted to live like a Hmong
    yet owned an expensive motorcycle, a tape-recorder, cameras, and

    who never had to work for a living.

    From his post in the Hmong village of Khek Noi, also in northern
    Thailand, Father Mottin wrote in his History of the Hmong (a wonderful
    book, exuberantly translated from the French by an Irish nun who had
    once been the tutor to the future king of Thailand, and printed, rather
    faintly, in Bangkok):

    Though they are but a small people, the Hmong still prove to be
    great men. What particularly strikes me is to see how this small
    race has always manged [sic] to survive though they often had to
    face more powerful nations. Let us consider, for example, that the
    Chinese were 250 times more numerous than they, and yet never
    found their way to swallow them. The Hmong…have never
    possessed a country of their own, they have never got a king
    worthy of this name, and yet they have passed through the ages
    remaining what they have always wished to be, that is to say: free
    men with a right to live in this world as Hmong. Who would not
    admire them for that?

    One of the recurring characters in Hmong folktales is the Orphan, a
    young man whose parents have died, leaving him alone to live by his
    wits. In one story, collected by Charles Johnson, the Orphan offers the
    hospitality of his humble home to two sisters, one good and one snotty.
    The snotty one says:

    What, with a filthy orphan boy like you? Ha! You’re so ragged
    you’re almost naked! Your penis is dirty with ashes! You must eat
    on the ground, and sleep in the mud, like a buffalo! I don’t think
    you even have any drink or tobacco to offer us!

    The Orphan may not have a clean penis, but he is clever, energetic, brave,
    persistent, and a virtuoso player of the qeej, a musical instrument, highly
    esteemed by the Hmong, that is made from six curving bamboo pipes
    attached to a wooden wind chamber. Though he lives by himself on the

    margins of society, reviled by almost everyone, he knows in his heart that
    he is actually superior to all his detractors. Charles Johnson points out
    that the Orphan is, of course, a symbol of the Hmong people. In this
    story, the Orphan marries the good sister, who is able to perceive his true
    value, and they prosper and have children. The snotty sister ends up
    married to the kind of dab who lives in a cave, drinks blood, and makes
    women sterile.

    3

    The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down

    When Lia was about three months old, her older sister Yer slammed the
    front door of the Lees’ apartment. A few moments later, Lia’s eyes rolled
    up, her arms jerked over her head, and she fainted. The Lees had little
    doubt what had happened. Despite the careful installation of Lia’s soul
    during the hu plig ceremony, the noise of the door had been so profoundly
    frightening that her soul had fled her body and become lost. They
    recognized the resulting symptoms as qaug dab peg, which means “the
    spirit catches you and you fall down.” The spirit referred to in this phrase
    is a soul-stealing dab; peg means to catch or hit; and qaug means to fall
    over with one’s roots still in the ground, as grain might be beaten down
    by wind or rain.

    In Hmong-English dictionaries, qaug dab peg is generally translated
    as epilepsy. It is an illness well known to the Hmong, who regard it with
    ambivalence. On the one hand, it is acknowledged to be a serious and
    potentially dangerous condition. Tony Coelho, who was Merced’s
    congressman from 1979 to 1989, is an epileptic. Coelho is a popular
    figure among the Hmong, and a few years ago, some local Hmong men
    were sufficiently concerned when they learned he suffered from qaug dab
    peg that they volunteered the services of a shaman, a txiv neeb, to
    perform a ceremony that would retrieve Coelho’s errant soul. The Hmong
    leader to whom they made this proposition politely discouraged them,
    suspecting that Coelho, who is a Catholic of Portuguese descent, might
    not appreciate having chickens, and maybe a pig as well, sacrificed on his
    behalf.

    On the other hand, the Hmong consider qaug dab peg to be an illness

    of some distinction. This fact might have surprised Tony Coelho no less
    than the dead chickens would have. Before he entered politics, Coelho
    planned to become a Jesuit priest, but was barred by a canon forbidding
    the ordination of epileptics. What was considered a disqualifying
    impairment by Coelho’s church might have been seen by the Hmong as a
    sign that he was particularly fit for divine office. Hmong epileptics often
    become shamans. Their seizures are thought to be evidence that they have
    the power to perceive things other people cannot see, as well as
    facilitating their entry into trances, a prerequisite for their journeys into
    the realm of the unseen. The fact that they have been ill themselves gives
    them an intuitive sympathy for the suffering of others and lends them
    emotional credibility as healers. Becoming a txiv neeb is not a choice; it
    is a vocation. The calling is revealed when a person falls sick, either with
    qaug dab peg or with some other illness whose symptoms similarly
    include shivering and pain. An established txiv neeb, summoned to
    diagnose the problem, may conclude from these symptoms that the
    person (who is usually but not always male) has been chosen to be the
    host of a healing spirit, a neeb. (Txiv neeb means “person with a healing
    spirit.”) It is an offer that the sick person cannot refuse, since if he rejects
    his vocation, he will die. In any case, few Hmong would choose to
    decline. Although shamanism is an arduous calling that requires years of
    training with a master in order to learn the ritual techniques and chants, it
    confers an enormous amount of social status in the community and
    publicly marks the txiv neeb as a person of high moral character, since a
    healing spirit would never choose a no-account host. Even if an epileptic
    turns out not to be elected to host a neeb, his illness, with its thrilling
    aura of the supramundane, singles him out as a person of consequence.

    In their attitude toward Lia’s seizures, the Lees reflected this mixture
    of concern and pride. The Hmong are known for the gentleness with
    which they treat their children. Hugo Adolf Bernatzik, a German
    ethnographer who lived with the Hmong of Thailand for several years
    during the 1930s, wrote that the Hmong he had studied regarded a child
    as “the most treasured possession a person can have.” In Laos, a baby was
    never apart from its mother, sleeping in her arms all night and riding on

    her back all day. Small children were rarely abused; it was believed that a
    dab who witnessed mistreatment might take the child, assuming it was
    not wanted. The Hmong who live in the United States have continued to
    be unusually attentive parents. A study conducted at the University of
    Minnesota found Hmong infants in the first month of life to be less
    irritable and more securely attached to their mothers than Caucasian
    infants, a difference the researcher attributed to the fact that the Hmong
    mothers were, without exception, more sensitive, more accepting, and
    more responsive, as well as “exquisitely attuned” to their children’s
    signals. Another study, conducted in Portland, Oregon, found that Hmong
    mothers held and touched their babies far more frequently than Caucasian
    mothers. In a third study, conducted at the Hennepin County Medical
    Center in Minnesota, a group of Hmong mothers of toddlers surpassed a
    group of Caucasian mothers of similar socioeconomic status in every one
    of fourteen categories selected from the Egeland Mother-Child Rating
    Scale, ranging from “Speed of Responsiveness to Fussing and Crying” to
    “Delight.”

    Foua and Nao Kao had nurtured Lia in typical Hmong fashion (on the
    Egeland Scale, they would have scored especially high in Delight), and
    they were naturally distressed to think that anything might compromise
    her health and happiness. They therefore hoped, at least most of the time,
    that the qaug dab peg could be healed. Yet they also considered the
    illness an honor. Jeanine Hilt, a social worker who knew the Lees well,
    told me, “They felt Lia was kind of an anointed one, like a member of
    royalty. She was a very special person in their culture because she had
    these spirits in her and she might grow up to be a shaman, and so
    sometimes their thinking was that this was not so much a medical
    problem as it was a blessing.” (Of the forty or so American doctors,
    nurses, and Merced County agency employees I spoke with who had dealt
    with Lia and her family, several had a vague idea that “spirits” were
    somehow involved, but Jeanine Hilt was the only one who had actually
    asked the Lees what they thought was the cause of their daughter’s
    illness.)

    Within the Lee family, in one of those unconscious processes of

    selection that are as mysterious as any other form of falling in love, it
    was obvious that Lia was her parents’ favorite, the child they considered
    the most beautiful, the one who was most extravagantly hugged and
    kissed, the one who was dressed in the most exquisite garments
    (embroidered by Foua, wearing dime-store glasses to work her almost
    microscopic stitches). Whether Lia occupied this position from the
    moment of her birth, whether it was a result of her spiritually
    distinguished illness, or whether it came from the special tenderness any
    parent feels for a sick child, is not a matter Foua and Nao Kao wish, or
    are able, to analyze. One thing that is clear is that for many years the cost
    of that extra love was partially borne by her sister Yer. “They blamed Yer
    for slamming the door,” said Jeanine Hilt. “I tried many times to explain
    that the door had nothing to do with it, but they didn’t believe me. Lia’s
    illness made them so sad that I think for a long time they treated Yer
    differently from their other children.”

    During the next few months of her life, Lia had at least twenty more
    seizures. On two occasions, Foua and Nao Kao were worried enough to
    carry her in their arms to the emergency room at Merced Community
    Medical Center, which was three blocks from their apartment. Like most
    Hmong refugees, they had their doubts about the efficacy of Western
    medical techniques. However, when they were living in the Mae Jarim
    refugee camp in Thailand, their only surviving son, Cheng, and three of
    their six surviving daughters, Ge, May, and True, had been seriously ill.
    Ge died. They took Cheng, May, and True to the camp hospital; Cheng
    and May recovered rapidly, and True was sent to another, larger hospital,
    where she eventually recovered as well. (The Lees also concurrently
    addressed the possible spiritual origins of their children’s illnesses by
    moving to a new hut. A dead person had been buried beneath their old
    one, and his soul might have wished to harm the new residents.) This
    experience did nothing to shake their faith in traditional Hmong beliefs
    about the causes and cures of illness, but it did convince them that on
    some occasions Western doctors could be of additional help, and that it
    would do no harm to hedge their bets.

    County hospitals have a reputation for being crowded, dilapidated,

    and dingy. Merced’s county hospital, with which the Lees would become
    all too familiar over the next few years, is none of these. The MCMC
    complex includes a modern, 42,000-square-foot wing—it looks sort of
    like an art moderne ocean liner—that houses coronary care, intensive
    care, and transitional care units; 154 medical and surgical beds; medical
    and radiology laboratories outfitted with state-of-the-art diagnostic
    equipment; and a blood bank. The waiting rooms in the hospital and its
    attached clinic have unshredded magazines, unsmelly bathrooms, and
    floors that have been scrubbed to an aseptic gloss. MCMC is a teaching
    hospital, staffed in part by the faculty and residents of the Family
    Practice Residency, which is affiliated with the University of California
    at Davis. The residency program is nationally known, and receives at
    least 150 applications annually for its six first-year positions.

    Like many other rural county hospitals, which were likely to feel the
    health care crunch before it reached urban hospitals, MCMC has been
    plagued with financial problems throughout the last twenty years. It
    accepts all patients, whether or not they can pay; only twenty percent are
    privately insured, with most of the rest receiving aid from California’s
    Medi-Cal, Medicare, or Medically Indigent Adult programs, and a small
    (but to the hospital, costly) percentage neither insured nor covered by any
    federal or state program. The hospital receives reimbursements from the
    public programs, but many of those reimbursements have been lowered
    or restricted in recent years. Although the private patients are far more
    profitable, MCMC’s efforts to attract what its administrator has called
    “an improved payer mix” have not been very successful. (Merced’s
    wealthier residents often choose either a private Catholic hospital three
    miles north of MCMC or a larger hospital in a nearby city such as
    Fresno.) MCMC went through a particularly rough period during the late
    eighties, hitting bottom in 1988, when it had a $3.1 million deficit.

    During this same period, MCMC also experienced an expensive
    change in its patient population. Starting in the late seventies, South-east
    Asian refugees began to move to Merced in large numbers. The city of
    Merced, which has a population of about 61,000, now has just over
    12,000 Hmong. That is to say, one in five residents of Merced is Hmong.

    Because many Hmong fear and shun the hospital, MCMC’s patient rolls
    reflect a somewhat lower ratio, but on any given day there are still
    Hmong patients in almost every unit. Not only do the Hmong fail
    resoundingly to improve the payer mix—more than eighty percent are on
    Medi-Cal—but they have proved even more costly than other indigent
    patients, because they generally require more time and attention, and
    because there are so many of them that MCMC has had to hire bilingual
    staff members to mediate between patients and providers.

    There are no funds in the hospital budget specifically earmarked for
    interpreters, so the administration has detoured around that technicality
    by hiring Hmong lab assistants, nurse’s aides, and transporters, who are
    called upon to translate in the scarce interstices between analyzing blood,
    emptying bedpans, and rolling postoperative patients around on gurneys.
    In 1991, a short-term federal grant enabled MCMC to put skilled
    interpreters on call around the clock, but the program expired the
    following year. Except during that brief hiatus, there have often been no
    Hmong-speaking employees of any kind present in the hospital at night.
    Obstetricians have had to obtain consent for cesarean sections or
    episiotomies using embarrassed teenaged sons, who have learned English
    in school, as translators. Ten-year-old girls have had to translate
    discussions of whether or not a dying family member should be
    resuscitated. Sometimes not even a child is available. Doctors on the late
    shift in the emergency room have often had no way of taking a patient’s
    medical history, or of asking such questions as Where do you hurt? How
    long have you been hurting? What does it feel like? Have you had an
    accident? Have you vomited? Have you had a fever? Have you lost
    consciousness? Are you pregnant? Have you taken any medications? Are
    you allergic to any medications? Have you recently eaten? (The last
    question is of great importance if emergency surgery is being
    contemplated, since anesthetized patients with full stomachs can aspirate
    the partially digested food into their lungs, and may die if they choke or
    if their bronchial linings are badly burned by stomach acid.) I asked one
    doctor what he did in such cases. He said, “Practice veterinary medicine.”

    On October 24, 1982, the first time that Foua and Nao Kao carried Lia

    to the emergency room, MCMC had not yet hired any interpreters, de jure
    or de facto, for any shift. At that time, the only hospital employee who
    sometimes translated for Hmong patients was a janitor, a Laotian
    immigrant fluent in his own language, Lao, which few Hmong
    understand; halting in Hmong; and even more halting in English. On that
    day either the janitor was unavailable or the emergency room staff didn’t
    think of calling him. The resident on duty practiced veterinary medicine.
    Foua and Nao Kao had no way of explaining what had happened, since
    Lia’s seizures had stopped by the time they reached the hospital. Her only
    obvious symptoms were a cough and a congested chest. The resident
    ordered an X ray, which led the radiologist to conclude that Lia had
    “early bronchiopneumonia or tracheobronchitis.” As he had no way of
    knowing that the bronchial congestion was probably caused by aspiration
    of saliva or vomit during her seizure (a common problem for epileptics),
    she was routinely dismissed with a prescription for ampicillin, an
    antibiotic. Her emergency room Registration Record lists her father’s last
    name as Yang, her mother’s maiden name as Foua, and her “primary
    spoken language” as “Mong.” When Lia was discharged, Nao Kao (who
    knows the alphabet but does not speak or read English) signed a piece of
    paper that said, “I hereby acknowledge receipt of the instructions
    indicated above,” to wit: “Take ampicillin as directed. Vaporizer at
    cribside. Clinic reached as needed 383–7007 ten days.” The “ten days”
    meant that Nao Kao was supposed to call the Family Practice Center in
    ten days for a follow-up appointment. Not surprisingly, since he had no
    idea what he had agreed to, he didn’t. But when Lia had another bad
    seizure on November 11, he and Foua carried her to the emergency room
    again, where the same scene was repeated, and the same misdiagnosis
    made.

    On March 3, 1983, Foua and Nao Kao carried Lia to the emergency
    room a third time. On this occasion, three circumstances were different:
    Lia was still seizing when they arrived, they were accompanied by a
    cousin who spoke some English, and one of the doctors on duty was a
    family practice resident named Dan Murphy. Of all the doctors who have
    worked at MCMC, Dan Murphy is generally acknowledged to be the one

    most interested in and knowledgeable about the Hmong. At that time, he
    had been living in Merced for only seven months, so his interest still
    exceeded his knowledge. When he and his wife, Cindy, moved to Merced,
    they had never heard the word “Hmong.” Several years later, Cindy was
    teaching English to Hmong adults and Dan was inviting Hmong leaders to
    the hospital to tell the residents about their experiences as refugees. Most
    important, the Murphys counted a Hmong family, the Xiongs, among
    their closest friends. When one of the Xiong daughters wanted to spend
    the summer working in Yosemite National Park, Chaly Xiong, her father,
    initially refused because he was afraid she might get eaten by a lion. Dan
    personally escorted Chaly to Yosemite to verify the absence of lions, and
    persuaded him the job would do his daughter good. Four months later,
    Chaly was killed in an automobile accident. Cindy Murphy arranged the
    funeral, calling around until she found a funeral parlor that was willing to
    accommodate three days of incense burning, drum beating, and qeej
    playing. She also bought several live chickens, which were sacrificed in
    the parking lot of the funeral parlor, as well as a calf and a pig, which
    were sacrificed elsewhere. When Dan first saw the Lees, he instantly
    registered that they were Hmong, and he thought to himself: “This won’t
    be boring.”

    Many years later, Dan, who is a short, genial man with an Amish-
    style beard and an incandescent smile, recalled the encounter. “I have this
    memory of Lia’s parents standing just inside the door to the ER, holding
    a chubby little round-faced baby. She was having a generalized seizure.
    Her eyes were rolled back, she was unconscious, her arms and legs were
    kind of jerking back and forth, and she didn’t breathe much—every once
    in a while, there would be no movement of the chest wall and you
    couldn’t hear any breath sounds. That was definitely anxiety-producing.
    She was the youngest patient I had ever dealt with who was seizing. The
    parents seemed frightened, not terribly frightened though, not as
    frightened as I would have been if it was my kid. I thought it might be
    meningitis, so Lia had to have a spinal tap, and the parents were real
    resistant to that. I don’t remember how I convinced them. I remember
    feeling very anxious because they had a real sick kid and I felt a big need

    to explain to these people, through their relative who was a not-very-good
    translator, what was going on, but I felt like I had no time, because we
    had to put an IV in her scalp with Valium to stop the seizures, but then
    Lia started seizing again and the IV went into the skin instead of the vein,
    and I had a hard time getting another one started. Later on, when I figured
    out what had happened, or not happened, on the earlier visits to the ER, I
    felt good. It’s kind of a thrill to find something someone else has missed,
    especially when you’re a resident and you are looking for excuses to
    make yourself feel smarter than the other physicians.”

    Among Dan’s notes in Lia’s History and Physical Examination record
    were:

    HISTORY OF PRESENT ILLNESS: The patient is an 8 month,
    Hmong female, whose family brought her to the emergency room
    after they had noticed her shaking and not breathing very well for
    a 20-minute period of time. According to the family the patient
    has had multiple like episodes in the past, but have never been
    able to communicate this to emergency room doctors on previous
    visits secondary to a language barrier. An english speaking
    relative available tonight, stated that the patient had had
    intermittent fever and cough for 2–3 days prior to being admitted.

    FAMILY & SOCIAL HISTORY: Unobtainable secondary to
    language difficulties.

    NEUROLOGICAL: The child was unresponsive to pain or sound.
    The head was held to the left with intermittent tonic-clonic [first
    rigid, then jerking] movements of the upper extremities.
    Respirations were suppressed during these periods of clonic
    movement. Grunting respirations persisted until the patient was
    given 3 mg. of Valium I.V.

    Dan had no way of knowing that Foua and Nao Kao had already
    diagnosed their daughter’s problem as the illness where the spirit catches

    you and you fall down. Foua and Nao Kao had no way of knowing that
    Dan had diagnosed it as epilepsy, the most common of all neurological
    disorders. Each had accurately noted the same symptoms, but Dan would
    have been surprised to hear that they were caused by soul loss, and Lia’s
    parents would have been surprised to hear that they were caused by an
    electrochemical storm inside their daughter’s head that had been stirred
    up by the misfiring of aberrant brain cells.

    Dan had learned in medical school that epilepsy is a sporadic
    malfunction of the brain, sometimes mild and sometimes severe,
    sometimes progressive and sometimes self-limiting, which can be traced
    to oxygen deprivation during gestation, labor, or birth; a head injury; a
    tumor; an infection; a high fever; a stroke; a metabolic disturbance; a
    drug allergy; a toxic reaction to a poison. Sometimes the source is
    obvious—the patient had a brain tumor or swallowed strychnine or
    crashed through a windshield—but in about seven out of ten cases, the
    cause is never determined. During an epileptic episode, instead of
    following their usual orderly protocol, the damaged cells in the cerebral
    cortex transmit neural impulses simultaneously and chaotically. When
    only a small area of the brain is involved—in a “focal” seizure—an
    epileptic may hallucinate or twitch or tingle but retain consciousness.
    When the electrical disturbance extends to a wide area—in a
    “generalized” seizure—consciousness is lost, either for the brief episodes
    called petit mal or “absence” seizures, or for the full-blown attacks
    known as grand mal. Except through surgery, whose risks consign it to
    the category of last resort, epilepsy cannot be cured, but it can be
    completely or partially controlled in most cases by anticonvulsant drugs.

    The Hmong are not the only people who might have good reason to
    feel ambivalent about suppressing the symptoms. The Greeks called
    epilepsy “the sacred disease.” Dan Murphy’s diagnosis added Lia Lee to a
    distinguished line of epileptics that has included Søren Kierkegaard,
    Vincent van Gogh, Gustave Flaubert, Lewis Carroll, and Fyodor
    Dostoyevsky, all of whom, like many Hmong shamans, experienced
    powerful senses of grandeur and spiritual passion during their seizures,
    and powerful creative urges in their wake. As Dostoyevsky’s Prince

    Myshkin asked, “What if it is a disease? What does it matter that it is an
    abnormal tension, if the result, if the moment of sensation, remembered
    and analysed in a state of health, turns out to be harmony and beauty
    brought to their highest point of perfection, and gives a feeling, undivined
    and undreamt of till then, of completeness, proportion, reconciliation, and
    an ecstatic and prayerful fusion in the highest synthesis of life?”

    Although the inklings Dan had gathered of the transcendental Hmong
    worldview seemed to him to possess both power and beauty, his own
    view of medicine in general, and of epilepsy in particular, was, like that
    of his colleagues at MCMC, essentially rationalist. Hippocrates’ skeptical
    commentary on the nature of epilepsy, made around 400 B.C., pretty much
    sums up Dan’s own frame of reference: “It seems to me that the disease
    is no more divine than any other. It has a natural cause just as other
    diseases have. Men think it is divine merely because they don’t
    understand it. But if they called everything divine which they do not
    understand, why, there would be no end of divine things.”*

    Lia’s seizure was a grand mal episode, and Dan had no desire to do
    anything but stop it. He admitted her to MCMC as an inpatient. Among
    the tests she had during the three days she spent there were a spinal tap, a
    CT scan, an EEG, a chest X ray, and extensive blood work. Foua and Nao
    Kao signed “Authorization for and Consent to Surgery or Special
    Diagnostic or Therapeutic Procedures” forms, each several hundred
    words long, for the first two of these. It is not known whether anyone
    attempted to translate them, or, if so, how “Your physician has requested
    a brain scan utilizing computerized tomography” was rendered in Hmong.
    None of the tests revealed any apparent cause for the seizures. The
    doctors classified Lia’s epilepsy as “idiopathic”: cause unknown. Lia was
    found to have consolidation in her right lung, which this time was
    correctly diagnosed as aspiration pneumonia resulting from the seizure.
    Foua and Nao Kao alternated nights at the hospital, sleeping in a cot next
    to Lia’s bed. Among the Nurse’s Notes for Lia’s last night at the hospital
    were: “0001. Skin cool and dry to touch, color good & pink. Mom is with
    babe at this time & is breastfeeding. Mom informed to keep babe covered
    with a blanket for the babe is a little cool.” “0400. Babe resting quietly

    with no acute distress noted. Mom breast feeds off & on.” “0600.
    Sleeping.” “0730. Awake, color good. Mother fed.” “1200. Held by
    mother.”

    Lia was discharged on March 11, 1983. Her parents were instructed,
    via an English-speaking relative, to give her 250 milligrams of ampicillin
    twice a day, to clear up her aspiration pneumonia, and twenty milligrams
    of Dilantin elixir, an anticonvulsant, twice a day, to suppress any further
    grand mal seizures.

    4
    Do Doctors Eat Brains?

    In 1982, Mao Thao, a Hmong woman from Laos who had resettled in St.
    Paul, Minnesota, visited Ban Vinai, the refugee camp in Thailand where
    she had lived for a year after her escape from Laos in 1975. She was the
    first Hmong-American ever to return there, and when an officer of the
    United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, which administered the
    camp, asked her to speak about life in the United States, 15,000 Hmong,
    more than a third of the population of Ban Vinai, assembled in a soccer
    field and questioned her for nearly four hours. Some of the questions they
    asked her were: Is it forbidden to use a txiv neeb to heal an illness in the
    United States? Why do American doctors take so much blood from their
    patients? After you die, why do American doctors try to open up your
    head and take out your brains? Do American doctors eat the livers,
    kidneys, and brains of Hmong patients? When Hmong people die in the
    United States, is it true that they are cut into pieces and put in tin cans
    and sold as food?

    The general drift of these questions suggests that the accounts of the
    American health care system that had filtered back to Asia were not
    exactly enthusiastic. The limited contact the Hmong had already had with
    Western medicine in the camp hospitals and clinics had done little to
    instill confidence, especially when compared to the experiences with
    shamanistic healing to which they were accustomed. A txiv neeb might
    spend as much as eight hours in a sick person’s home; doctors forced
    their patients, no matter how weak they were, to come to the hospital, and
    then might spend only twenty minutes at their bedsides. Txiv neebs were
    polite and never needed to ask questions; doctors asked many rude and

    intimate questions about patients’ lives, right down to their sexual and
    excretory habits. Txiv neebs could render an immediate diagnosis;
    doctors often demanded samples of blood (or even urine or feces, which
    they liked to keep in little bottles), took X rays, and waited for days for
    the results to come back from the laboratory—and then, after all that,
    sometimes they were unable to identify the cause of the problem. Txiv
    neebs never undressed their patients; doctors asked patients to take off all
    their clothes, and sometimes dared to put their fingers inside women’s
    vaginas. Txiv neebs knew that to treat the body without treating the soul
    was an act of patent folly; doctors never even mentioned the soul. Txiv
    neebs could preserve unblemished reputations even if their patients didn’t
    get well, since the blame was laid on the intransigence of the spirits
    rather than the competence of the negotiators, whose stock might even
    rise if they had had to do battle with particularly dangerous opponents;
    when doctors failed to heal, it was their own fault.

    To add injury to insult, some of the doctors’ procedures actually
    seemed more likely to threaten their patients’ health than to restore it.
    Most Hmong believe that the body contains a finite amount of blood that
    it is unable to replenish, so repeated blood sampling, especially from
    small children, may be fatal. When people are unconscious, their souls
    are at large, so anesthesia may lead to illness or death. If the body is cut
    or disfigured, or if it loses any of its parts, it will remain in a condition of
    perpetual imbalance, and the damaged person not only will become
    frequently ill but may be physically incomplete during the next
    incarnation; so surgery is taboo. If people lose their vital organs after
    death, their souls cannot be reborn into new bodies and may take revenge
    on living relatives; so autopsies and embalming are also taboo. (Some of
    the questions on the Ban Vinai soccer field were obviously inspired by
    reports of the widespread practice of autopsy and embalming in the
    United States. To make the leap from hearing that doctors removed
    organs to believing that they ate them was probably no crazier than to
    assume, as did American doctors, that the Hmong ate human placentas—
    but it was certainly scarier.)

    The only form of medical treatment that was gratefully accepted by at

    least some of the Hmong in the Thai camps was antibiotic therapy, either
    oral or by injection. Most Hmong have little fear of needles, perhaps
    because some of their own healers (not txiv neebs, who never touch their
    patients) attempt to release fevers and toxicity through acupuncture and
    other forms of dermal treatment, such as massage; pinching; scraping the
    skin with coins, spoons, silver jewelry, or pieces of bamboo; applying a
    heated cup to the skin; or burning the skin with a sheaf of grass or a wad
    of cotton wool. An antibiotic shot that could heal an infection almost
    overnight was welcomed. A shot to immunize someone against a disease
    he did not yet have was something else again. In his book Les naufragés
    de la liberté, the French physician Jean-Pierre Willem, who worked as a
    volunteer in the hospital at the Nam Yao camp, related how during a
    typhoid epidemic, the Hmong refugees refused to be vaccinated until they
    were told that only those who got shots would receive their usual
    allotments of rice—whereupon 14,000 people showed up at the hospital,
    including at least a thousand who came twice in order to get seconds.

    When Foua Yang and Nao Kao Lee brought their three sick children
    to the hospital at Mae Jarim, they were engaging in behavior that many of
    the other camp inhabitants would have considered positively aberrant.
    Hospitals were regarded not as places of healing but as charnel houses.
    They were populated by the spirits of people who had died there, a
    lonesome and rapacious crew who were eager to swell their own ranks.
    Catherine Pake, a public health nurse who spent six months working at
    Phanat Nikhom (a camp where refugees from Laos, Vietnam, and
    Cambodia came for their final “processing” before they were sent to a
    country of permanent asylum), concluded from a study of the hospital log
    that “in comparison to refugees of other ethnic groups, the Hmong have
    the lowest per capita rate of visits.” (Pake also discovered, not
    coincidentally, that the Hmong had an extremely “high utilization rate”
    of indigenous healing arts: shamanism, dermal treatments, herbalism.
    She published an article in the Journal of Ethnobiology identifying
    twenty medicinal plants she had collected under the tutelage of Hmong
    herbalists, which, in various forms-chopped, crushed, dried, shredded,
    powdered, decocted, infused with hot water, infused with cold water,

    mixed with ashes, mixed with sulphur, mixed with egg, mixed with
    chicken—were indicated for burns, fever, weakness, poor vision, broken
    bones, stomachaches, painful urination, prolapsed uterus, insufficient
    breast milk, arthritis, anemia, tuberculosis, rabies, scabies, gonorrhea,
    dysentery, constipation, impotence, and attacks by a dab ntxaug, a spirit
    who lives in the jungle and causes epidemics when he is disturbed. In this
    last case, the plant, Jatropha curcas, is crushed and its oil left in a cup, to
    be consumed not by the patient but by the dab.)

    Wendy Walker-Moffat, an educational consultant who spent three
    years teaching and working on nutritional and agricultural projects in
    Phanat Nikhom and Ban Vinai, suggests that one reason the Hmong
    avoided the camp hospitals is that so many of the medical staff members
    were excessively zealous volunteers from Christian charitable
    organizations. “They were there to provide medical aid, but they were
    also there—though not overtly—to convert people,” Walker-Moffat told
    me. “And part of becoming converted was believing in Western
    medicine. I’ll never forget one conversation I overheard when I was
    working in the hospital area at Ban Vinai. A group of doctors and nurses
    were talking to a Hmong man whom they had converted and ordained as a
    Protestant minister. They had decided that in order to get the Hmong to
    come into the hospital they were going to allow a traditional healer, a
    shaman, to practice there. I knew they all thought shamanism was witch-
    doctoring. So I heard them tell this Hmong minister that if they let a
    shaman work in the medical center he could only give out herbs, and not
    perform any actual work with the spirits. At this point they asked the poor
    Hmong minister, ‘Now you never go to a shaman, do you?’ He was a
    Christian convert, he knew you cannot tell a lie, so he said, ‘Well, yes, I
    do.’ But then their reaction was so shocked that he said, ‘No, no, no, I’ve
    never been. I’ve just heard that other people go.’ What they didn’t realize
    was that—to my knowledge, at least—no Hmong is ever fully converted.”

    In 1985, the International Rescue Committee assigned Dwight
    Conquergood, a young ethnographer with a special interest in shamanism
    and performance art, to design an environmental health program for Ban
    Vinai. He later wrote:

    I heard horror story after horror story from the refugees about
    people who went to the hospital for treatment, but before being
    admitted had their spirit-strings cut from their wrists by a nurse
    because “the strings were unsanitary and carried germs.” Doctors
    confidently cut off neck-rings that held the life-souls of babies
    intact. Instead of working in cooperation with the shamans, they
    did everything to disconfirm them and undermine their
    authority…. Is it any wonder that the Hmong community regarded
    the camp hospital as the last choice of available health care
    options? In the local hierarchy of values, consulting a shaman or
    herbalist, or purchasing medicine available in the Thai market just
    outside the entrance to the camp, was much preferred and more
    prestigious than going to the camp hospital. The refugees told me
    that only the very poorest people who had no relatives or
    resources whatsoever would subject themselves to the camp
    hospital treatment. To say that the camp hospital was
    underutilized would be an understatement.

    Unlike the other camp volunteers, who commuted from an expatriate
    enclave an hour away, Conquergood insisted on living in Ban Vinai,
    sharing the corner of a thatched hut with seven chickens and a pig. His
    first day in the camp, Conquergood noticed a Hmong woman sitting on a
    bench, singing folk songs. Her face was decorated with little blue moons
    and golden suns, which he recognized as stickers the camp clinic placed
    on medication bottles to inform illiterate patients whether the pills should
    be taken morning or night. The fact that Conquergood considered this a
    delightful example of creative costume design rather than an act of
    medical noncompliance suggests some of the reasons why the program he
    designed turned out to be the most (indeed, possibly the only) completely
    successful attempt at health care delivery Ban Vinai had ever seen.

    Conquergood’s first challenge came after an outbreak of rabies
    among the camp dogs prompted a mass dog-vaccination campaign by the
    medical staff, during which the Ban Vinai inhabitants failed to bring in a
    single dog to be inoculated. Conquergood was asked to come up with a

    new campaign. He decided on a Rabies Parade, a procession led by three
    important characters from Hmong folktales—a tiger, a chicken, and a dab
    —dressed in homemade costumes. The cast, like its audience, was one
    hundred percent Hmong. As the parade snaked through the camp, the
    tiger danced and played the qeej, the dab sang and banged a drum, and the
    chicken (chosen for this crucial role because of its traditional powers of
    augury) explained the etiology of rabies through a bullhorn. The next
    morning, the vaccination stations were so besieged by dogs—dogs carried
    in their owners’ arms, dogs dragged on rope leashes, dogs rolled in on
    two-wheeled pushcarts—that the health workers could hardly inoculate
    them fast enough. Conquergood’s next production, a sanitation campaign
    in which a parade of children led by Mother Clean (a huge, insanely
    grinning figure on a bamboo frame) and the Garbage Troll (dressed in
    ragged clothes plastered with trash) sang songs about latrine use and
    refuse disposal, was equally well received.

    During Conquergood’s five months in Ban Vinai, he himself was
    successfully treated with Hmong herbs for diarrhea and a gashed toe.
    When he contracted dengue fever (for which he also sought conventional
    medical treatment), a txiv neeb informed him that his homesick soul had
    wandered back to Chicago, and two chickens were sacrificed to expedite
    its return. Conquergood considered his relationship with the Hmong to be
    a form of barter, “a productive and mutually invigorating dialog, with
    neither side dominating or winning out.” In his opinion, the physicians
    and nurses at Ban Vinai failed to win the cooperation of the camp
    inhabitants because they considered the relationship one-sided, with the
    Westerners holding all the knowledge. As long as they persisted in this
    view, Conquergood believed that what the medical establishment was
    offering would continue to be rejected, since the Hmong would view it
    not as a gift but as a form of coercion.

    5

    Take as Directed

    Between the ages of eight months and four and a half years, Lia Lee was
    admitted to MCMC seventeen times and made more than a hundred
    outpatient visits to the emergency room and to the pediatric clinic at the
    Family Practice Center. “Hmong ,” read the admission notes. Then,
    “Hmong well known to this facility.” Then, “Hmong very well known
    to this facility.” Sometimes instead of “Hmong” the notes say “H’mond”
    or “Mong” or, in one note transcribed from a tape dictated by a resident,
    “Mongoloid”—an attempt by a tired typist to make sense of a strange
    syllable not to be found in any medical dictionary. Under “How Arrived,”
    the notes always say “Via mo’s arms” under “Initial Diagnostic
    Impression,” always “seizure disorder of unknown etiology,” and
    sometimes fever and pneumonia and infections of the middle ear; under
    “Insurance Coverage,” always Medi-Cal; under amount paid by patient,
    always zero. Almost all the admission notes contain the phrase “language
    barrier.” On one assessment form, a nurse’s aide with a Hispanic surname
    has written, “unable to obtain parient speak no english.” On another form,
    in the space marked “Communication Problems,” another nurse has
    summed up the situation with a single word: “Hmong.”

    Foua and Nao Kao always knew exactly when a seizure was coming,
    because Lia knew. The aura, a sense of premonition common to epileptics
    and sufferers of migraine and angina, can take many forms, from mildly
    peculiar sensations—sudden tastes or smells, tingling, flushing, déjà vu,
    jamais vu (the feeling that an experience is utterly unfamiliar)—to mortal
    terror. Physicians in the eighteenth century called the frightening auras
    angor animi, “soul anguish,” a concept any Hmong might recognize.

    Before Lia fell, she would run to her parents to be hugged. She also
    demanded plenty of hugs from them when she was feeling fine, but they
    recognized these occasions as different because she had a strange, scared
    expression, and they would gently pick her up and lay her on the mattress
    they kept for this purpose on the floor of their living room (which was
    otherwise unfurnished). Sometimes there was twitching on one side of
    her body, usually the right. Sometimes she had staring spells. Sometimes
    she seemed to hallucinate, rapidly scanning the air and reaching for
    invisible objects. As Lia got older, the abnormal electrical activity spread
    to larger and larger areas of her brain and triggered more frequent grand
    mal episodes. As she lay face up, her back would arch so violently that
    only her heels and the back of her head would touch the mattress, and
    then, after a minute or so of rigid muscle contractions, her arms and legs
    would start to thrash. During the first phase, her respiratory muscles
    contracted along with the rest of her body, and she would often stop
    breathing. Her lips and nail beds turned blue. Sometimes she gave high-
    pitched gasps, foamed at the mouth, vomited, urinated, or defecated.
    Sometimes she had several seizures in a row; between them, she would
    tense, point her toes, and cry a strange deep cry.

    In the most serious episodes, Lia would continue seizing and seizing
    without regaining consciousness. This condition, called “status
    epilepticus” when it lasts for twenty minutes or longer, is what the
    doctors in the MCMC emergency room feared most. Lia usually
    remained in “status” until massive doses of anticonvulsant medication
    could be administered intravenously. Inserting a needle into the vein of a
    baby who is having convulsions is like shooting, or trying to shoot, a very
    small moving target. While the hapless young resident who happened to
    be on call maneuvered the needle, he or she was always acutely aware
    that as each second ticked away during the phases of respiratory arrest,
    Lia’s brain was being deprived of oxygen. When I asked one nurse
    whether this caused brain damage, he said, “If you want to know what a
    five-minute seizure is like, go stick your head in a bucket of water for
    five minutes and take some deep breaths.” Over the course of several
    years, Lia was treated at least once, and sometimes many times, by each

    of MCMC’s residents. Frightening as it was to be on duty when Lia was
    brought in at 3:00 a.m., there was probably no other group of family
    practice residents in the United States who by the end of their three-year
    program were so familiar with the management of pediatric grand mal
    seizures.

    The residents were merely the first line of defense. Every time Lia
    came to the emergency room, either Neil Ernst or Peggy Philp, the two
    supervising pediatricians who served on the faculty of the family practice
    residency program, was paged and, no matter how late it was, drove to the
    hospital (a trip that could be accomplished, at just under the speed limit,
    in seven minutes). Peggy Philp was the physician Dan Murphy consulted
    during Lia’s first admission to MCMC. The note she wrote six days after
    Lia’s discharge read, in part:

    This is a very interesting young infant who presents with a history
    of right focal seizures. One leading to a grand mal seizure. I feel
    that probably the grand mal seizure caused an aspiration
    pneumonia and hence apnea, causing her extreme distress when
    she showed up in the Emergency Room on the day of admission.
    The child has apparently done well on her Dilantin, although she
    has continued to have some right focal seizures…. My feeling is
    that this child probably has some form of benign focal seizures of
    infancy. These are not especially common, but can often be quite
    benign in nature. Since there is apparently some chance that these
    will generalize, it is probably worth while to keep the child on
    Dilantin therapy to suppress a grand mal seizure. I would check
    the Dilantin level to make sure that it remains therapeutic…. I
    think that the prognosis for this child’s intellectual development
    remains good.

    Looking back on this optimistic document several years later, Peggy
    explained, “Most epileptics are controlled relatively easily by seizure
    medications. Lia’s disorder turned out to be much more severe than what
    you usually see in classic epilepsy.” Lia’s chart eventually grew to five

    volumes, longer than the chart of any other child who has ever been
    admitted to MCMC, and weighed thirteen pounds eleven ounces,
    considerably more than Lia weighed when she was born there. Neil and
    Peggy once went through a photocopy of it with me. Over a period of
    several evenings, the two doctors worked with the same briskness and
    efficiency they would have brought to a patient’s diagnostic examination,
    arranging the thousands of pages in neat stacks, rapidly discarding any
    they deemed irrelevant, never skipping over—in fact, often specifically
    pointing out—details that failed to put them in the best possible light, and
    stopping every once in a while to laugh ruefully at the chart’s many
    errors. (The errors were invariably made by transcribers, nurses, or other
    physicians; their own contributions were flawless and usually even
    legible.) “‘She was seen to have lice coming out of her nose.’ Lice. That
    can’t be right. Ice? Mice? Rice! Shoot, that’s what it is, rice!” Sometimes
    Neil would stop and stare at a page, often one that seemed anesthetically
    dull to me, and shake his head and sigh and say, “Oh God, Lia.” When we
    looked through the records of Lia’s first visits to the emergency room, he
    started to flip the pages back and forth with angry little slapping motions.
    He had forgotten that she had had epileptic seizures for five months
    before they were diagnosed and medicated, and was wondering in
    retrospect whether the course of her life might have been different if his
    hospital had offered her optimal medical care from the beginning.

    Neil Ernst and Peggy Philp are married to each other. They alternate
    call nights, and each prayed that when a Lia Lee call came, it would be
    the other one’s turn to roll out of bed. Neil and Peggy are both the
    children of physicians, both high school valedictorians, both Phi Beta
    Kappa graduates of Berkeley. They met when they were nineteen and
    eighteen, two tall, good-looking, athletic premed students who recognized
    in each other the combination of idealism and workaholism that had
    simultaneously contributed to their successes and set them apart from
    most of their peers. By the time their lives intersected with Lia’s, they
    shared a practice and a half, as well as an office, a beeper, and a byline on
    the articles they had published in medical journals. Neil’s curriculum
    vitae, which was flush with academic and professional honors, was the

    only one I have ever seen that noted Marital Status and Children first.
    Their schedules were arranged in such a way that one of them was always
    home in the afternoon when their two sons got out of school. Every
    morning, the alarm buzzed at 5:45. If it was Monday, Wednesday, or
    Friday, Neil got up and ran eight miles. If it was Tuesday, Thursday, or
    Sunday, Peggy got up and ran eight miles. They alternated Saturdays.
    Their runs were the only time either of them was entirely alone for more
    than a few minutes, and they never skipped or traded a morning, even if
    they had been up most of the night on call at MCMC. “I am a fairly
    driven and compulsive kind of person,” Neil told me one night in the
    living room of their extremely neat ranch-style house, the care of which
    was evenly split between them. Peggy was on call at the hospital. “Peggy
    is very similar to me. We get along real well. Real, real well. Medically,
    we complement each other. My strengths are infections, asthma, and
    allergies. Peggy is strong in hematology and she’s better than I am in
    child development. When you’re confronted with a difficult decision, it’s
    nice to talk to someone whose judgment you respect. Am I thinking
    okay? Would you offer anything else? Can I do anything else? If I feel
    like a dumbshit I can be a dumbshit with her. We don’t have to impress
    each other. If she was not in my life it would…well, take a while for me
    to be able to function.”

    I once asked Teresa Callahan and Benny Douglas—a pair of married
    family physicians who trained as residents under Neil Ernst and Peggy
    Philp and who, like their mentors, now share a practice—what they
    thought of them. Teresa said, “It’s hard to perceive them separately.”
    Benny said, “I mean, like, Neil apostrophe n apostrophe Peggy is the way
    we think of them. Neil ’n’ Peggy know everything and they never make
    mistakes. They are perfect. If we ever had problems all we had to do was
    call Neil ’n’ Peggy and they would figure it out.” Teresa said, “Neil ’n’
    Peggy are controlled, Neil especially, almost to a fault. I have even heard
    him say, about getting angry or crying, that he just doesn’t feel
    comfortable doing things like that. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t
    compassionate. He prides himself on establishing a good rapport with his
    clinic patients, including some very difficult ones, some Spanish

    speaking, and most patients accept what he and Peggy say as gospel and
    do whatever they say. Few other people I know would have gone to the
    lengths they did to provide good medical care to Lia. They were always
    thinking about her. Whenever they had to go away, they’d tell all the
    residents, ‘Now if this little fat Hmong girl comes in seizing….’”

    Lia was indeed fat. Her Physical Growth chart shows that although
    her height usually hovered around the fifth percentile for her age (not
    unusual for a Hmong child), her weight climbed as high as the seventy-
    fifth percentile. Her thick subcutaneous padding compounded the
    challenges that awaited the doctors in the emergency room. Neil Ernst
    wrote in a pediatric clinic note that in addition to her seizure disorder,
    “Lia’s other problem, which is of considerable concern, is the fact that
    she is quite overweight, which makes intravenous access during the time
    of seizures quite difficult. Considerable effort has gone into weight
    control in this child. The father apparently likes Lia the way she is and is
    somewhat resistant to this problem.” (In Laos, where food was often
    scarce, a plump Hmong child was perceived as healthy and especially
    well cared for.)

    A vein hidden under fat is hard to palpate. Like a drug user who loses
    veins after repeated needle sticks, Lia eventually lost the antecubital
    veins in both forearms and the saphenous vein above her left ankle after
    doctors frantically searching for needle placement cut them open and tied
    them off. During most of her hospitalizations, the arm or leg with the IV
    line was bandaged to a board, and sometimes she was secured to her crib
    as well. “Lia’s IVs were precious,” explained Neil. “The less she moved,
    the longer the IVs would last.” One Nurse’s Note reads: “2400. IV
    infusing R antecubital space with signs of infiltration @ 30cc/hr via
    pump. Father here. Soft restraint to L arm. 0015. Father had untied
    restraint & placed child on cot on floor. Returned child to bed, soft
    restraint to R arm. Tried to explain to father reason but difficult due to
    communication barrier.”

    Nao Kao did not understand why the nurses had tied up his daughter.
    His confidence in their ability to care for Lia was further strained the
    morning after this note was written, when he left the hospital at 4:00 a.m.

    to catch two or three hours of sleep at home and returned at 7:30 to find
    that Lia had a bump on her forehead the size of a goose egg, the result of
    having fallen out of her crib during his brief absence. Not only had Lia
    gotten hurt while under the supervision of people who claimed to know
    more than the Lees about how to keep her healthy, but those people had
    then responded to the accident in a manner that, from the Lees’ point of
    view, was inexplicably sadistic. Foua and Nao Kao believed the best way
    to keep Lia safe and content, especially when she was ill or in pain, was
    to have her sleep next to them, as she always did at home, so they could
    immediately comfort her whenever she cried. The nurses, however,
    decided to guard against future falls by rigging a net over Lia’s crib and
    caging her inside, out of reach of her parents’ arms.

    “A hospital is a scary place for any parent,” Vonda Crouse, a
    physician at Valley Children’s Hospital in Fresno who is on the faculty of
    the Merced family practice residency program, told me. “You see people
    wake up your sleeping child to take their blood pressure, take their
    temperature, check their pulse rate, and count respirations. You see them
    put a bag on your kid to measure the output of urine and stool. When your
    child is in the hospital, suddenly somebody else is feeding them,
    somebody else is changing their pants, somebody else is deciding how
    and when they will be bathed. It takes all the autonomy of being a parent
    away, even for folks who have had a lot of medical experience. It would
    be that much harder if you were from another culture and didn’t
    understand the purpose of all these things.”

    Aside from the time Lia fell on her head, one or another of her parents
    was almost always present around the clock during her hospital stays.
    Some typical Nurse’s Notes: “Does not like to be separated from mo;
    relaxes when held by mo.” “Is quiet as long as mom holds her, otherwise
    screams most of the time.” “Child is happy & babbling, plays with toys.
    Mom here. Babe content.” “Being carried papoose style by fa.” “Mother
    here & breast feeds eagerly. Cruises sides of crib. Makes baby sounds.”
    “Awake, walking around to the hallway with the father then returned to
    the room. Father trying to put her back to sleep.” “Baby was in wagon
    sitting up and had generalized seizure lasting 1 min. Father grabbed her

    right away no injuries.” “Mother holding. No seizures this shift. Up in
    mom’s arms, waves ‘Bye Bye.’”

    The MCMC nursing staff came to know Lia well—better, in fact, than
    most of them would have wished. After she was old enough to walk,
    whenever she was well enough to get out of bed she ran up and down the
    corridor in the pediatric unit, banging on doors, barging into the rooms of
    other sick children, yanking open the drawers in the nursing station,
    snatching pencils and hospital forms and prescription pads and throwing
    them on the floor. “You’d hear that Lia was in the ER,” recalled Sharon
    Yates, a nurse’s aide. “Lia, Lia. Oh please, you’d say, don’t let her up!
    But up she’d come.” Evelyn Marciel, a nurse, said, “Lia was a pretty girl,
    soft and cute and fast. Her mother wouldn’t wean her and she was real
    dependent on the breast. She was a little Houdini. She could get out of
    anything, and she’d hurt herself even if she had her wrists bound up, so
    you could never let her alone.” “Her attention span was real short,” said
    Gloria Rodriguez, a nurse. “We taught her to say bye, play patty-cake,
    smile, and clap hands. But she always wanted to be held, she always put
    her hands up to be carried because that’s what her parents did. With other
    Hmong families the sons are the ones who are loved. Hmong fathers say,
    Girl okay if die, want many boy. But this family, they wanted so much for
    her to live, they just adored her.” Many of the doctors remember Lia with
    affection because, unlike most of their pediatric patients, she was always
    physically demonstrative. “She liked skin,” recalled Kris Hartwig, one of
    the residents who took care of Lia. “Even when I was trying to start an
    intravenous line, she’d be going pick, pick, pick at my arm. When you
    asked for a hug you could always get one from Lia.” Peggy Philp said, “A
    lot of little kids, after being through all that, would just cry and hide in a
    corner or something, but Lia was very bold and she wasn’t afraid of you.
    So you kind of liked her because she was a character, even though you
    hated her because she was so frustrating and she caused you so much
    grief.”

    Lia hated swallowing her medications. Some Nurse’s Notes: “Meds
    given but did not like.” “Tries to spit out Phenobarb when given. Lips
    pursed tightly to prevent this med given.” “Fought taking medicine even

    crushed Phenobarb tablets in applesauce. Spits well.” “Pt. very good at
    spitting out meds, given slowly with arms held & mouth puckered open.”
    “Spit out popsicle with medicine crushed in, had to repeat dose with
    strawberry ice cream this time taken well.” The Lees had an even harder
    time persuading Lia to take her medications than the nurses did, since
    they were reluctant to restrain her arms or force anything down her
    throat. And even when Lia was co-operative, Foua and Nao Kao were
    often uncertain about exactly what they were supposed to give her. Over
    time, her drug regimen became so complicated and underwent so many
    revisions that keeping track of it would have been a monumental task
    even for a family that could read English. For the Lees, it proved to be
    utterly confounding.

    The anticonvulsant medication originally prescribed by Peggy Philp
    was Dilantin, which is commonly used to control grand mal seizures.
    Three weeks after her first MCMC admission, after Lia had a seizure in
    the hospital waiting room that appeared to be triggered by a fever, Peggy
    changed the prescription to phenobarbital, which controls febrile seizures
    better than Dilantin. Lia seized several times during the next two weeks,
    so since neither drug appeared to work adequately alone, Peggy then
    prescribed them both simultaneously. Consulting neurologists later
    prescribed two other anticonvulsants, Tegretol (which was originally to
    be used along with both Dilantin and phenobarbital, and then just with
    phenobarbital) and Depakene (which was to be used in place of all the
    previous anticonvulsants). Because lung and ear infections frequently
    accompanied Lia’s seizures, antibiotics, antihistamines, and
    bronchodilating drugs were also prescribed from time to time.

    By the time she was four and a half, Lia’s parents had been told to
    give her, at various times, Tylenol, ampicillin, amoxicillin, Dilantin,
    phenobarbital, erythromycin, Ceclor, Tegretol, Benadryl, Pediazole, Vi-
    Daylin Multivitamins with Iron, Alupent, Depakene, and Valium.
    Because these medications were prescribed in varying combinations,
    varying amounts, and varying numbers of times a day, the prescriptions
    changed twenty-three times in less than four years. Some of the drugs,
    such as vitamins and anticonvulsants, were supposed to be given every

    day no matter how Lia was feeling, and when they ran out, her parents
    were supposed to renew the prescriptions; some, such as antibiotics, were
    supposed to be given for a specific period of time, and though they were
    prescribed only when Lia displayed certain symptoms, the prescriptions
    were to be finished (but not renewed) even if those symptoms
    disappeared; antifebrile medications, prescribed in the hope of warding
    off fever-triggered seizures before they happened, were supposed to be
    administered only if Lia had a temperature, a plan that might have
    worked better if her parents had been able to read a thermometer. Several
    of the medications were available in different forms, and were sometimes
    prescribed as elixirs (all of which were pink or red and came in round
    bottles) and sometimes as tablets (almost all of which were white and
    came in round bottles). Foua and Nao Kao, of course, had no idea what
    the labels said. Even if a relative or the hospital janitor was on hand to
    translate when a bottle was handed to the Lees, they had no way of
    writing down the instructions, since they are illiterate in Hmong as well
    as English; and because the prescriptions changed so frequently, they
    often forgot what the doctors told them. Measuring the correct doses
    posed additional problems. Liquids were difficult because the Lees could
    not read the markings on medicine droppers or measuring spoons. Pills
    were often no easier. At one point, when Lia was two, she was supposed
    to be taking four different medications in tablet form twice a day, but
    because each of the pills contained an adult dose, her parents were
    supposed to cut each of the tablets into fractions; and because Lia
    disliked swallowing the pills, each of those fractions had to be pulverized
    with a spoon and mixed with food. If she then ate less than a full helping
    of the adulterated food, there was no way to know how much medicine
    she had actually consumed.

    At first, it did not occur to Lia’s doctors that the Lees would fail to
    administer her medications correctly. The first few prescriptions simply
    read “Take as directed.” In May of 1983, two months after Lia’s first
    hospital admission, when a blood test showed a subtherapeutic level of
    phenobarbital in Lia’s system, Peggy Philp assumed that the prescribed
    amount was being given, and raised the dosage. The next month, when the

    levels tested low again, she began to suspect that when Lia’s mother said
    she was giving the medicines as prescribed, she was either confused or
    lying. This was a dismaying realization. The only way to determine the
    optimal type and amount of anticonvulsant medications for Lia was to
    observe the level of her seizure activity and repeatedly test the
    medication level in her blood, but the test results were inconclusive
    unless the doctors knew exactly what was going into her system.

    “Lia continued to have seizures,” said Peggy. “But was she having
    those seizures because she didn’t have enough phenobarbital in her blood
    or was she having seizures in spite of having enough phenobarbital in her
    blood? And if the parents weren’t giving what we told them to give, was
    it because they hadn’t understood or because they didn’t want to? We just
    couldn’t tell.” The absence of good interpreters was only part of the
    communication problem. Neil felt that Nao Kao put up a “stone wall” and
    was sometimes deliberately deceitful. Peggy felt that Foua was “either
    very stupid or a loonybird” because her answers, even on those occasions
    when they were accurately translated, often didn’t make sense. Neither
    doctor could tell how much of their inability to get through was caused by
    what they perceived as defects of intelligence or moral character, and
    how much was caused by cultural barriers. Neil recalled later, “It felt as
    if there was this layer of Saran Wrap or something between us, and they
    were on one side of it and we were on the other side of it. And we were
    reaching and reaching and we could kind of get into their area, but we
    couldn’t touch them. So we couldn’t really accomplish what we were
    trying to do, which was to take care of Lia.”

    On June 28, 1983, MCMC asked the Merced County Health
    Department to send a nurse to the Lee home, accompanied by a Hmong
    interpreter, to try to improve the family’s compliance with Lia’s
    medication regimen. She was the first of a succession of public health
    nurses who were to visit the Lees over the next four years. One of the
    longest-lasting of them, Effie Bunch, told me, “The referrals were always
    the same. Febrile seizures, noncompliant mother, noncompliant mother,
    noncompliant mother, noncompliant mother, noncompliant mother. And
    the nurse’s notes were always the same too. They always started out, ‘The

    plan is….’ We all had a go at Lia and we all burned out.” The visiting
    nurses tried putting stickers on the bottles, blue for the morning
    medications, red for the noon medications, yellow for the night
    medications. When Lia was taking elixirs, they tried drawing lines on the
    plastic syringes or medicine droppers to mark the correct doses. When
    she was taking pills, they tried posting charts on which they had drawn
    the appropriate pie-shaped fractions. They tried taping samples of each
    pill on calendars on which they had drawn suns and sunsets and moons.
    They tried putting the pills in plastic boxes with compartments for each
    day. Effie Bunch said, “I remember going over there and asking the mom
    to show me the meds. There they would be, a little stack of bottles in the
    kitchen next to the tomatoes and onions, sort of like a decoration in the
    corner. It wasn’t hard to tell that the parents were really unhappy with the
    medical care. Because Lia was on such high doses, she had an
    appointment with Dr. Philp or Dr. Ernst almost every week and had a
    blood level drawn two or three days before and maybe another blood
    level two or three days afterwards, and there were so many changes that it
    was just totally mind-boggling. I don’t think the mom and dad ever truly
    understood the connection between a seizure and what it did to the brain.
    And I don’t know how else you get through to them that they have to give
    the meds. My general impression was that they really felt we were all an
    intrusion and that if they could just do what they thought best for their
    child, that child would be fine. They were courteous and they were
    obstinate. They told us what we wanted to hear. What we really knew
    about them wouldn’t fill the bottom of a cup.”

    When Lia was between the ages of one and two, some of the notes the
    visiting nurses wrote on Merced County Health Department Encounter
    Forms were:

    Home visit made with interpreter. Parents state infant is doing the
    same. Were unaware of appt. @ Peds clinic for today. Were
    confused about proper dosage of medicine and which to give….
    Several meds in refrigerator that are outdated included Amoxil
    and Ampicillin. Also one bottle of medication with illegible label.

    Dr. Ernst contacted concerning correct dosage of Phenobarb and
    Dilantin. Correct administration demonstrated. Outdated
    medication discarded.

    Mother states she went to MCMC as scheduled for blood test, but
    without interpreter was unable to explain reason for being there
    and could not locate the lab. Is willing to have another appt.
    rescheduled. States infant has not had any seizures. Have finished
    antibiotic. Are no longer giving Phenobarb because parents insist
    it causes diarrhea shortly after administration. Mother states she
    feels intimidated by MCMC complex but is willing to continue
    treatment there.

    Reluctant to give meds but has been giving Phenobarb & Tegretol
    but refuses to give Dilantin. State it changes child’s “spirit” &
    makes face look different…. Each drug is in small compartment
    with appropriate day & time but medications gone from wrong
    day.

    Home visit again with interpreter who explained to the mother the
    importance of giving all 3 medications daily at correct times
    (mother has wall plaque which visually demonstrates type of med,
    amt & time to give medication) & possible results of return of
    seizures if meds not given. Mother seems to understand & states
    she’ll continue to give Phenobarb & Tegretol but only 25 mg. of
    Dilantin AM & PM instead of 25 mg. at AM & 50 mg. PM. Agree
    to have continued care at Peds clinic.

    Home visit made with interpreter. Didn’t have Medi-Cal card for
    child so didn’t go to clinic. Doesn’t know where Medi-Cal cards
    are. Mother has now decided to give 200 mg. Tegretol AM, 25
    Dilantin in AM and 60 mg. Phenobarb at night. Mother seems
    very agitated.

    Father out of house for rest of day—shopping. Mother still seems

    very unhappy with medical staff making decisions for daughter.
    Interpreter states mother is unhappy and Public Health nurse
    observed same by mothers tone of voice & body movements.
    Assured mother that child can be seen in Peds clinic Monday even
    without the Medi-Cal card.

    Home visit by interpreter to discuss childs care with father.
    Interpreter states father also mistrusts medical system & wants
    another opinion but didn’t state who or where.

    Mother states they just returned from hospital that AM….
    Diagnosis for hospitalization unknown to mother but antibiotic
    prescribed. Mother says she gave client Tegretol & Phenobarb this
    AM but that she feels there is no reason to give them as they don’t
    do anything and that the Dilantin (previously prescribed) caused
    the child to be wild.

    It did not take long for the public health nurses to answer Peggy
    Philp’s question about whether the Lees were being noncompliant
    because they hadn’t understood the instructions or because they didn’t
    want to give the drugs. (Both.) Their faith in medicines had not been
    strengthened by two routine immunizations Lia had received against
    diphtheria, pertussis, and tetanus, to which, like many children, she had
    reacted with a fever and temporary discomfort. All of Lia’s
    anticonvulsant drugs had far more serious and longer-lasting side effects.
    In some cases phenobarbital can cause hyperactivity—it may have been
    responsible for the riotous energy the nurses always noticed when Lia
    was hospitalized—and, in several recent studies, it has been associated
    with lowered I.Q. scores. Dilantin can cause hair to grow abnormally all
    over the body, and gum tissue to bleed and puff out over the teeth. Too
    much phenobarbital, Dilantin, or Tegretol can cause unsteadiness or
    unconsciousness. Although Foua and Nao Kao erroneously attributed
    Lia’s “wildness” to the Dilantin instead of the phenobarbital, they were
    correct in perceiving that the medicines were far from innocuous. From

    that point, it was not an enormous leap to the conclusion they had reached
    by April 3, 1984, when a public health nurse noted, “Father had become
    more and more reluctant to give medications at all because he feels that
    the medicines are causing the seizures and also the fever.”

    The idea that the drugs prescribed to cure, or at least attempt to treat,
    an illness are in fact causing it is not one that most doctors ever
    encounter. Doctors are used to hearing patients say that drugs make them
    feel bad, and indeed the unpleasant side effects of many medications are
    one of the main reasons that patients so often stop taking them. But most
    patients accept the doctor’s explanation of why they got sick in the first
    place, and even if they resist the recommended treatment, they at least
    believe their doctor has prescribed it in good faith and that it is not
    designed to hurt them. Doctors who deal with the Hmong cannot take this
    attitude for granted. What’s more, if they continue to press their patients
    to comply with a regimen that, from the Hmong vantage, is potentially
    harmful, they may find themselves, to their horror, running up against
    that stubborn strain in the Hmong character which for thousands of years
    has preferred death to surrender.

    John Aleman, a family physician in Merced, once hospitalized a
    Hmong infant with severe jaundice. In order to determine whether
    therapy with special fluorescent lights would be sufficient or whether it
    would be necessary to perform a partial exchange transfusion, he had to
    take repeated blood samples to measure the baby’s bilirubin level. After
    two or three samples, the parents said their baby might die if any more
    blood was removed. The doctor explained through an interpreter that the
    body is capable of manufacturing new blood, and he poured one cc of
    water into a teaspoon to demonstrate what an insignificant amount was
    being taken. To his amazement, his logical arguments only strengthened
    the parents’ opposition. They said if the doctor drew any more blood
    against their will, they would both commit suicide. Fortunately, at this
    point Dr. Aleman asked his Hmong interpreter what he should do (a
    strategy not open to Lia’s doctors during her early years, since no
    competent interpreter was available). The interpreter volunteered to call a
    Western-educated Hmong leader who was likely to understand the

    doctor’s treatment plan; the leader called the head of the family’s clan;
    the head of the clan called the father’s father; the father’s father called
    the father; the father talked to the mother; and, having thus received the
    request through a familiar and acceptable hierarchy, the parents were able
    to back down without loss of face. The baby had the blood tests and was
    successfully treated with phototherapy.

    In 1987, Arnie Vang, a two-year-old Hmong boy who lived in Fresno,
    was diagnosed at Valley Children’s Hospital with testicular cancer.
    (Arnie’s real name, the one conferred in his hu plig ceremony, was Tong,
    but his father preferred to call him Arnie because it sounded more
    American.) His parents, both teenagers who had attended American high
    schools and spoke and read English fairly well, consented, though
    reluctantly, to the surgical removal of the affected testis. After the
    surgery, Arnie’s doctor, an Indian-born oncologist who had never had a
    Hmong patient before, explained that the next step was a course of
    chemotherapy. She handed the parents a piece of paper on which she had
    typed the names of the drugs he would receive and their possible side
    effects. Her predictions turned out to be accurate. Arnie, who had
    appeared perfectly healthy after his surgery, lost all his shiny black hair
    within three weeks after his first cycle of chemotherapy, and every time
    the drugs were administered, he vomited. Arnie’s parents concluded that
    the chemotherapy was making him sick and refused to bring him in for
    further treatment. After giving the Vangs three days’ warning, his doctor
    called Child Protective Services, the state agency that deals with child
    abuse, which dispatched two social workers and two police officers to
    their house.

    Arnie’s mother, Dia Xiong, explained to me later, “When they come,
    my husband isn’t there. I say, Wait for my husband. But they say they
    can’t wait. I say, Please that you go away. I hold my son. I hold him so
    tight. I say, Give my son back. Two police, they hold my hand behind my
    back. I can’t move. I am scared. My two daughters are crying. The police
    hold my hand, they take my son away! I scream and cry. Then I take my
    husband’s guns from the bedroom closet. They were two long guns. We
    bought them to shoot squirrels and deer, not to shoot people. I say I will

    kill myself and the little girls if they don’t bring him back. I just yell,
    Please bring my son back to me. I say, Just bring! I want to hold my son!”
    A SWAT team was summoned, and for three hours the Vangs’ immediate
    neighborhood was closed to traffic. Finally some police officers brought
    Arnie back from the hospital, and when Dia Xiong saw him, she dropped
    the guns and was driven, in handcuffs, to the psychiatric unit of a local
    hospital. She was released the next day, and no criminal charges were
    filed against her. Arnie’s doctor administered one of the three remaining
    cycles of chemotherapy, but agreed, although it was against standard
    protocol, to forgo the last two. Arnie is still in remission today. His
    doctor was haunted for years by the thought that three lives were nearly
    lost in order to save one—“and for that one life,” she told me, her voice
    shaking and her eyes filling with tears, “the cure wasn’t even a hundred
    percent certain.”

    One night, while Lia Lee was in the emergency room at MCMC for
    the umpteenth time and a translator was present, Dan Murphy, who
    happened to be on call, brought up the subject of her anticonvulsant
    medications. Her mother informed him that she didn’t think you should
    ever have to give a medicine forever. (It is likely that the only Western
    drugs Foua and Nao Kao had encountered in Asia were fast-acting
    antibiotics.) Dan recalled, “I remember that I was just watching them and
    they looked very resolute, like, you know, we are doing what we think is
    right. They weren’t about to take any garbage. I felt they really cared for
    Lia, and they were doing the best, the absolute best they knew how as
    parents, to take care of the kid. That is what I felt about them. I don’t
    remember having a feeling of anger, but I remember having a little bit of
    a feeling of awe at how differently we looked at the world. It was very
    foreign to me that they had the ability to stand firm in the face of expert
    opinion. Neil and Peggy are easily the best pediatricians in the county,
    yet Lia’s parents didn’t hesitate to say no to them or modify the drug
    dosage or do things however they saw fit. And the other thing that was
    different between them and me was that they seemed to accept things that
    to me were major catastrophes as part of the normal flow of life. For
    them, the crisis was the treatment, not the epilepsy. I felt a tremendous

    responsibility to stop the seizures and to make sure another one never
    happened again, and they felt more like these things happen, you know,
    not everything is in our control, and not everything is in your control.”

    Soon after this encounter, in the late afternoon of January 20, 1984,
    Dan Murphy was on call again when Lia came to the emergency room in
    the throes of a grand mal seizure. Among the notes he dictated were:
    “The patient is an 18-month-old Hmong child with a long history of
    seizures. The parents report that they had discontinued the medications
    about 3 months ago because the patient was doing so well.” Dan did not
    have much time to reflect on this alarming news, because shortly after he
    started Lia’s phenobarbital IV and admitted her to the hospital, he was
    called to assist at another emergency room crisis in which the patient
    died, and, immediately thereafter, he was summoned to the obstetrical
    unit to deliver a baby. At 11:20 p.m., in the thirteenth hour of a thirty-
    three-hour shift, Dan was paged because Lia had started seizing again,
    this time violently. Since Lia had responded well to the phenobarbital,
    Dan had not summoned Neil Ernst or Peggy Philp to the hospital. He
    therefore had to deal on his own with the most severe episode of status
    epilepticus Lia had yet suffered. He administered two more massive
    doses of phenobarbital. “Sometimes you have to give so much medicine
    to stop the seizure that they stop breathing,” said Dan. “That happened.”
    Lia turned blue. First Dan gave her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and
    when she failed to resume breathing on her own, he decided that a
    breathing tube had to be placed down her trachea. “Lia was only the
    second child I had ever intubated under crash circumstances, and I didn’t
    feel all that confident. You have this instrument that looks sort of like a
    flashlight, with a blade that snaps down, and you have to get the tongue
    out of the way, and the problem is that if you don’t know exactly what
    you are doing, instead of putting the tube down the trachea you put it
    down the esophagus, and you start to ventilate but the patient is not
    getting any oxygen. So it’s literally a do-or-die situation, either you get it
    in and they do okay or you don’t and they might die. This time I saw what
    I needed to see and the tube went right in and it worked perfectly and I
    felt really good. I thought, well, I guess I am becoming a doctor.”

    Lia’s parents were standing outside the ward while Dan intubated Lia.
    “By the time they came back in, she was unconscious and she had this
    tube taped to her mouth. I remember that they were very upset about that.
    I remember that the mother just had a very displeased look on her face.”
    Because MCMC was not equipped with a respirator for babies, Dan
    decided that Lia, who was being given oxygen on a temporary basis
    through a manually operated bag, should be transferred by ambulance to
    their pediatric backup facility, Valley Children’s Hospital in Fresno,
    sixty-five miles south of Merced. She regained consciousness there, and
    was able to breathe on her own after twenty-four hours on a respirator.
    Lia spent nine days in Fresno, spiking high temperatures from aspiration
    pneumonia and gastroenteritis, but did not seize again. On her History
    and Physical Examination form, her name is listed as Lai Lee; on her
    discharge summary, she is Lee Lei. Through an English-speaking cousin
    who accompanied Foua and Nao Kao to Fresno, the admitting resident
    was told that Lia had been off medications for one week (rather than the
    three months recorded by Dan Murphy) because the prescription had run
    out and the family had not refilled it. The resident wrote, without irony,
    “I am not entirely sure if all the history is reliable.”

    Two months later, Peggy Philp noted in an Ambulatory Care
    Physician’s Report that Lia, who was then twenty months old, had “no
    words (altho used to say sev. words).” In her diagnosis, she wrote “?Dev.
    delay”—a conclusion she had dreaded reaching for some time. It is not
    surprising that a child who had seized as frequently and severely as Lia
    was beginning to show the first signs of retardation, but Neil and Peggy
    found the situation particularly tragic because they considered it
    preventable. Looking into Lia’s future, they foresaw a steady decrease in
    intellectual capacity unless the Lees started giving Lia her
    anticonvulsants regularly—and even that might not halt the decline, since
    the brain damage resulting from her erratic medication regimen had
    already made her seizure disorder far less tractable than it would have
    been if compliance had been perfect from the start. Neil and Peggy
    perceived Lia as being more retarded (though still only mildly so) than
    the visiting public health nurses did. Effie Bunch said, “The doctors only

    saw her when she was sick and never in her home environment. When we
    saw her, sometimes she was a windup toy because of the phenobarbital
    and sometimes she was post-seizure and looked like a little ball of dough
    in the corner, but sometimes she was just bright and cute and actively
    playing, happy, gay, climbing, crawling, on her mother’s back, laughing
    and chattering and what have you.” Testing Lia’s intelligence was
    difficult because her hyperactivity made it hard for her to focus on
    assigned tasks, and both the doctors’ instructions and Lia’s verbal
    responses were always filtered through interpreters of dubious
    competence. When Neil and Peggy administered a Denver Developmental
    Screening Test at fourteen months, the results were normal, but at
    twenty-two months, although Lia passed “Plays ball with examiner,”
    “Plays pat-a-cake,” “Imitates speech sounds,” and “Neat pincer grasp of
    raisin,” she failed “Uses spoon, spilling little,” “Washes and dries hands,”
    “Points to 1 named body part,” “3 words other than Mama, Dada,” and
    “Tower of 8 cubes.”

    When Lia was two, a consulting neurologist recommended that she be
    started on Tegretol, continued on Dilantin, and gradually weaned off
    phenobarbital because it was contributing to, or even entirely causing, her
    hyperactivity. Unfortunately, the Lees had now decided that they liked
    phenobarbital, disliked Dilantin, and were ambivalent about Tegretol. A
    visiting nurse once found Lia dazed and staggering after receiving an
    overdose of phenobarbital (which, though it can raise some patients’
    energy levels when taken in normal doses, has the opposite effect when
    taken to excess). The next day, when Lia was brought to the pediatric
    clinic, the resident on duty—who happened to be Gary Thueson, the
    doctor who had delivered her—noted, “Apparently parents felt if
    phenobarb was good 2x is better so double dosed yesterday.” On July 20,
    1984, Neil Ernst wrote in a Pediatric Clinic Note (a copy of which he sent
    to the Health Department):

    The mother states that she will not give the Dilantin at home. In
    addition, she also states that she has increased the child’s
    Phenobarbital to 60 mg. b.i.d. Finally the mother states that she

    ran out of Tegretol and the child has received no Tegretol in the
    last 4 days. The mother brought a large sack full of medication
    bottles and on closer examination by myself there were 3 half
    empty bottles of Tegretol. The mother stated that she was unaware
    that these bottles were Tegretol. In addition, the mother also was
    unable to identify the Dilantin bottle and gave that bottle to me
    and said that she did not want it at home.

    On rereading this note many years later, Neil said he could still
    remember the rage he had felt when he wrote it. He and Peggy, who are
    both aware, and even proud, of their joint reputation for glacial
    unflappability, couldn’t remember another case that had made them feel
    this way. “I remember wanting to shake the parents so that they would
    understand,” said Peggy. A handful of times, Neil gave Foua a hug while
    Lia was seizing, but most of the time, while Lia was between the ages of
    eighteen months and three and a half years, he was too angry to feel much
    sympathy toward either of her parents. “The best thing I could have given
    Lia’s mother was compassion, and I wasn’t giving her any and I knew
    that I wasn’t giving her any,” he said. “There was just too much
    aggravation. It was like banging your head against a wall constantly and
    not making any headway. There was the frustration of the nighttime calls
    and the length of time it took and the amount of energy and sorrow and
    lack of control. I mean, every time I saw Lia I would just, you know, it
    was like—ohhhhh, you would just get so frustrated! When she came to
    the emergency room in status there would be sort of like a very
    precipitous peak of anger, but it was quickly followed by the fear of
    having to take care of a horribly sick child who it was very difficult to put
    an IV in.” Peggy added, “Some of the anger came from that. From our
    own fear.”

    It was hard to work so hard and not receive a single word of thanks—
    in fact, to have their efforts invariably greeted with resentment. Neil and
    Peggy never dwelled on the financial aspects of the case, since one of the
    reasons they chose to work in Merced was, in Neil’s words, “to serve
    underserved people regardless of their form of payment.” But it was an

    undeniable fact that Lia’s family had never paid a penny for the hundreds
    of hours of care she had received—and yet failed utterly to appreciate the
    generosity of Medi-Cal and of Neil and Peggy’s services, which, because
    of the low level of reimbursements, were, in effect, partially voluntary.
    (No other pediatricians practicing in Merced at that time were willing to
    accept Medi-Cal patients.) The Lees also never showed their doctors the
    kind of deference reflexively displayed by even their most uncooperative
    American patients. It was as if Neil and Peggy’s four years of medical
    school, their three years of residency, their awards, their publications,
    their telephone consultations with neurologists, even the hours they spent
    in the Merced Public Library reading old National Geographic articles
    about the Hmong, all counted for nothing. The worst aspect of the case
    was that as conscientious physicians and dedicated parents, they found it
    agonizing to watch Lia, as it would have been for them to watch any
    child, fail to receive the treatment they believed might help her lead a
    normal life. And it seemed as if the situation would never end. However
    frustrated they were, they never considered abandoning the case. Unless
    Lia died, they could see themselves driving to the emergency room in the
    middle of the night until she was grown up and had graduated to the care
    of an internist, with whom they already felt an anticipatory bond of
    sympathy.

    In June of 1984, Neil and Peggy found out that Foua was pregnant
    again. They were appalled. This baby would be number fifteen; eight had
    survived. Foua’s age was unknown—it was listed on her maternity
    registration form as fifty-eight, a number no one at MCMC seems to have
    questioned—but Neil and Peggy had assumed that she had already gone
    through menopause. “When we found out she was having another, we
    said, how could this happen?” Neil recalled. “This must have been the
    last egg that was possibly fertilizable, and it got fertilized. We were just
    dreading how this baby might turn out, that it might have Down
    syndrome and heart problems and that we were going to have to deal with
    two sick kids in this family. Just what we needed. Lia’s mom refused to
    have an amnio. Not that she would have aborted anyway.” Foua also
    vehemently refused a tubal ligation, a sterilizing procedure urged by a

    nurse who knew Lia and feared another Lee child might be born with
    epilepsy. She continued to breast-feed Lia throughout her pregnancy. On
    November 17, 1984, when Lia was two and a half, Pang Lee—a healthy,
    vigorous, completely normal baby girl—was born. After the birth, Foua
    breast-fed both Lia and Pang. She was exhausted and, according to a
    Child Welfare report, “overwhelmed.”

    On April 30, 1985, four days after Lia’s eleventh hospitalization at
    MCMC, a visiting public health nurse found that the Lees were giving Lia
    a double dose of Tegretol pills, which they had stored in an old
    phenobarbital bottle. On May 1, the nurse noted that Lia’s father “now
    refuses to give any Tegretol whatsoever.” That same day, Neil noted that
    when Lia came to the pediatric clinic, “the family stated to me through
    the interpreter that they have stopped the Phenobarbital 5 days ago and
    the child apparently has received no Phenobarbital since hospital
    discharge. Mother stated that the combination of Tegretol and
    Phenobarbital was ‘too strong’ for the child and she decided to stop the
    medication.”

    Neil sent a copy of this note to the Health Department and to Child
    Protective Services. In it, he also wrote that

    because of poor parental compliance regarding the medication this
    case obviously would come under the realm of child abuse,
    specifically child neglect…. Unless there could be some form of
    compliance with the medication regimen and control of the
    child’s seizure disorder, this child is at risk for status epilepticus
    which could result in irreversible brain damage and also possibly
    death. It is my opinion that this child should be placed in foster
    home placement so that compliance with medication could be
    assured.

    The Superior Court of the State of California immediately acted on
    Neil’s request, declaring Lia Lee to be a Dependent Child of the Juvenile
    Court who was to be removed from the custody of her parents.

    6

    High-Velocity Transcortical Lead Therapy

    It was said in the refugee camps in Thailand that the Hmong in America
    could not find work, were forbidden to practice their religion, and were
    robbed and beaten by gangs. It was also said that Hmong women were
    forced into slavery, forced to have sex with American men, and forced to
    have sex with animals. Dinosaurs lived in America, as well as ghosts,
    ogres, and giants. With all this to worry about, why did the 15,000
    Hmong who gathered on the Ban Vinai soccer field to voice their deepest
    fears about life in the United States choose to fixate on doctors?

    A year after I first read the account of that gathering, as I was
    attempting to deal out a teetering pile of notes, clippings, and
    photocopied pages from books and dissertations into several drawerfuls
    of file folders, I had a glimmering of insight. There were hundreds of
    pages whose proper home I was at a loss to determine. Should they go in
    the Medicine folder? The Mental Health folder? The Animism folder?
    The Shamanism folder? The Social Structure folder? The
    Body/Mind/Soul Continuum folder? I hovered uncertainly, pages in hand,
    and realized that I was suspended in a large bowl of Fish Soup. Medicine
    was religion. Religion was society. Society was medicine. Even
    economics were mixed up in there somewhere (you had to have or borrow
    enough money to buy a pig, or even a cow, in case someone got sick and a
    sacrifice was required), and so was music (if you didn’t have a qeej
    player at your funeral, your soul wouldn’t be guided on its posthumous
    travels, and it couldn’t be reborn, and it might make your relatives sick).
    In fact, the Hmong view of health care seemed to me to be precisely the
    opposite of the prevailing American one, in which the practice of

    medicine has fissioned into smaller and smaller sub-specialties, with less
    and less truck between bailiwicks. The Hmong carried holism to its
    ultima Thule. As my web of cross-references grew more and more thickly
    interlaced, I concluded that the Hmong preoccupation with medical issues
    was nothing less than a preoccupation with life. (And death. And life after
    death.)

    Not realizing that when a man named Xiong or Lee or Moua walked
    into the Family Practice Center with a stomachache he was actually
    complaining that the entire universe was out of balance, the young
    doctors of Merced frequently failed to satisfy their Hmong patients. How
    could they succeed? They could hardly be expected, as Dwight
    Conquergood had done at Ban Vinai, to launch a parade of tigers and dabs
    through the corridors of MCMC. They could hardly be expected to
    “respect” their patients’ system of health beliefs (if indeed they ever had
    the time and the interpreters to find out what it was), since the medical
    schools they had attended had never informed them that diseases are
    caused by fugitive souls and cured by jugulated chickens. All of them had
    spent hundreds of hours dissecting cadavers, and could distinguish at a
    glance between the ligament of Hessel-bach and the ligament of Treitz,
    but none of them had had a single hour of instruction in cross-cultural
    medicine. To most of them, the Hmong taboos against blood tests, spinal
    taps, surgery, anesthesia, and autopsies—the basic tools of modern
    medicine—seemed like self-defeating ignorance. They had no way of
    knowing that a Hmong might regard these taboos as the sacred guardians
    of his identity, indeed, quite literally, of his very soul. What the doctors
    viewed as clinical efficiency the Hmong viewed as frosty arrogance. And
    no matter what the doctors did, even if it never trespassed on taboo
    territory, the Hmong, freighted as they were with negative expectations
    accumulated before they came to America, inevitably interpreted it in the
    worst possible light.

    Whenever I talked to Hmong people in Merced, I asked them what
    they thought of the medical care they and their friends had received.

    “The doctor at MCMC are young and new. They do what they want to
    do. Doctor want to look inside the woman body. The woman very pain,

    very hurt, but the doctor just want to practice on her.”
    “One lady, she is cry, cry, cry. She do not want doctor to see her body.

    But this country there is the rule. If you want to stay here you must let
    doctor examine the body.”

    “Most old people prefer not to go to doctor. They feel, maybe doctor
    just want to study me, not help my problems. They scary this. If they go
    one time, if they not follow appointment and do like doctor want, doctor
    get mad. Doctor is like earth and sky. He think, you are refugee, you
    know nothing.”

    “It took us an hour to see the doctor. Other people who are rich, they
    treat them really well and they do not wait.”

    “This lady she had some blisters inside the mouth and the doctor he
    say, you need surgical treatment. She say, no, I just need medication for
    pain only. And he say, I know more than you do. He completely ignore
    what she ask.”

    “My half brother his body was swollen and itchy, and the doctors say,
    hey, you got a cancer and we need to operate. He agreed to sign the
    operation but then he didn’t want to do it. But he say to me, I already sign
    everything and the doctor going to send me to jail if I change my mind.”

    “Hmong should never sign anything at MCMC. The student doctors
    just want to experiment on the poor people and they kill the poor people.”

    “The doctor is very busy. He takes people that are sick, he produces
    people that are healthy. If he do not produce, his economic will be deficit.
    But the Hmong, he will want the doctor to calmly explain and comfort
    him. That does not happen. I do not blame the doctor. It is the system in
    America.”

    All of the people quoted here speak English, and thus belong to the
    most educated and most Americanized segment of Hmong society in
    Merced—the segment most likely to understand and value Western
    medical care. Nonetheless, their version of reality fails to match that of
    their doctors pretty much across the board. From the doctors’ point of
    view, the facts are as follows: MCMC is indeed a teaching hospital, but
    this works to its patients’ advantage, since it has attracted skilled faculty
    members who must constantly update their knowledge and techniques.

    The young residents are all M.D.s, not students. The Hmong spend a long
    time in the waiting area, but so does everyone else. Patients who change
    their minds about surgery do not go to jail. The doctors do not experiment
    on their patients. Neither do they kill them, though their patients do
    sometimes die, and are more likely to do so if, like the Hmong, they view
    the hospital as a dreaded last resort to be hazarded only when all else
    fails.

    Although the doctors at MCMC are not aware of most of the Hmong’s
    specific criticisms—they would be unlikely to ask, and the Hmong would
    be unlikely to answer—they certainly know the Hmong do not like them,
    and that rankles. The residents may be exhausted (since their shifts are up
    to twenty-four hours long, and until recent years were up to thirty-three
    hours long); they may be rushed (since many clinic appointments are
    only fifteen minutes long); but they are not—and they know they are not
    —greedy or spiteful. Most of them have chosen the field of family
    practice, which is the lowest-paying of all medical specialties, for
    altruistic reasons. “Of course, some of the subspecialists would say we
    went into family medicine because we weren’t smart enough to be
    urologists or ophthalmologists,” Bill Selvidge, MCMC’s former chief
    resident, told me. “If we were urologists, we’d be making a lot more
    money and we wouldn’t have to get up so often in the middle of the
    night.”

    Bill is an old college friend of mine. It was he who first told me about
    the Hmong of Merced, whom he described as being such challenging
    patients that some of his fellow doctors suggested the preferred method
    of treatment for them was high-velocity transcortical lead therapy. (When
    I asked Bill what that meant, he explained, “The patient should be shot in
    the head.”) Bill himself did not seem to find the Hmong quite as
    exasperating as some of his colleagues did, perhaps because of the
    lessons in cultural relativism he had learned during the two years he had
    spent with the Peace Corps in Micronesia, and perhaps because, as he
    pointed out to me, the Hmong acted no stranger than his next-door
    neighbors in Merced, a family of white fundamentalist Christians who
    had smashed their television set and then danced a jig around it. (The

    neighbors’ children had then offered to smash Bill’s set as well. He had
    politely declined.) Bill was the sort of person I’d always wanted to have
    as a doctor myself, and before I came to Merced, I found it hard to
    believe that his Hmong patients weren’t prostrate with gratitude.

    When refugees from Laos started settling in Merced County in the
    early 1980s, none of the doctors at MCMC had ever heard the word
    “Hmong,” and they had no idea what to make of their new patients. They
    wore strange clothes—often children’s clothes, which were
    approximately the right size—acquired at the local Goodwill. When they
    undressed for an examination, the women were sometimes wearing
    Jockey shorts and the men were sometimes wearing bikini underpants
    with little pink butterflies. They wore amulets around their necks and
    cotton strings around their wrists (the sicker the patient, the more
    numerous the strings). They smelled of camphor, mentholatum, Tiger
    Balm, and herbs. When they were admitted to the hospital, they brought
    their own food and medicines. The parents of one of Neil Ernst’s patients,
    a small boy with a gastrointestinal disorder, once emptied his intravenous
    bottle and replaced its contents with what Neil described as green slime,
    an herbal home brew whose ingredients the doctors never determined.
    Hmong patients made a lot of noise. Sometimes they wanted to slaughter
    live animals in the hospital. Tom Sult, a former MCMC resident,
    recalled, “They’d bang the crap out of some kind of musical instrument,
    and the American patients would complain. Finally we had to talk to
    them. No gongs. And no dead chickens.”

    Neil Ernst and Peggy Philp were shocked to discover quarter-sized
    round lesions, some reddish and some hypopigmented, on the abdomens
    and arms of some of their pediatric patients. They looked like burns.
    Some of the lesions had healed and others were still crusty, suggesting
    that the skin had been traumatized on more than one occasion. Neil and
    Peggy immediately called the Child Protective Services office to report
    that they had identified several cases of child abuse. Before the cases
    were prosecuted, they learned from a San Francisco doctor that the
    lesions were the result of dermal treatments—rubbing the skin with coins
    or igniting alcohol-soaked cotton under a tiny cup to create a vacuum—

    that were common among several Asian ethnic groups, and that they were
    a “traditional healing art,” not a form of abuse. (I once attended a
    conference on Southeast Asian health care issues at which a prominent
    doctor showed some slides of coin-rubbing lesions and told the audience,
    “It doesn’t hurt.” The young Lao woman sitting next to me whispered,
    “Yes it does.”) Dan Murphy remembers that when he was a resident, he
    heard a story about a Hmong father in Fresno who was sent to jail after
    black marks were discovered on his child’s chest by an elementary school
    teacher. The father hanged himself in his cell. The story is probably
    apocryphal (though it is still in wide circulation), but Dan and the other
    doctors believed it, and they were shaken to realize how high the stakes
    could be if they made a tactical error in dealing with the Hmong.

    And there were so many ways to err! When doctors conferred with a
    Hmong family, it was tempting to address the reassuringly Americanized
    teenaged girl who wore lipstick and spoke English rather than the old
    man who squatted silently in the corner. Yet failing to work within the
    traditional Hmong hierarchy, in which males ranked higher than females
    and old people higher than young ones, not only insulted the entire family
    but also yielded confused results, since the crucial questions had not been
    directed toward those who had the power to make the decisions. Doctors
    could also appear disrespectful if they tried to maintain friendly eye
    contact (which was considered invasive), touched the head of an adult
    without permission (grossly insulting), or beckoned with a crooked finger
    (appropriate only for animals). And doctors could lose the respect of their
    patients if they didn’t act like authority figures. The young residents at
    MCMC did not enhance their status by their propensities for introducing
    themselves by their first names, wearing blue jeans under their white
    coats, carrying their medical charts in little backpacks, and drinking their
    coffee from Tommee Tippee cups. Doctors could get into trouble if they
    failed to take the Hmong’s religious beliefs into account. For example, it
    was important never to compliment a baby’s beauty out loud, lest a dab
    overhear and be unable to resist snatching its soul. Similarly, when a
    seventeen-year-old Hmong patient once asked if her failure to get
    pregnant might be attributable to the dab who frequently visited her in

    her dreams, sometimes sitting on the edge of her bed and sometimes
    having sexual intercourse with her, it was fortunate that the resident on
    duty in OB-GYN Clinic listened with calm attention instead of
    diagnosing an acute psychosis and dispatching her to a locked ward. On
    the other hand, bending over backwards to be culturally sensitive did not
    always work. Bill Selvidge once examined a depressed middle-aged
    Hmong woman with severe headaches. Surmising that some of her
    problems stemmed from cultural dislocation and that her spirits might be
    buoyed by traditional treatment, he recommended that she see a txiv neeb.
    However, as he reported in his clinic note, “She is reluctant to go to a
    shaman, partly because she is now Catholic and partly because it takes
    too many chickens and/or pig that have to be killed in her home for her to
    satisfy shamans and traditional healers. She may have tried this in the
    past because she indicates a previous landlord told her to leave home
    after police were called when some members of her family were just
    about to sacrifice a pig.” Disappointed, Bill prescribed aspirin.

    Compared to the other patients that frequented Merced Community
    Medical Center, the Hmong were not only trickier but sicker. They had a
    high incidence of high blood pressure, anemia, diabetes, hepatitis B,
    tuberculosis, intestinal parasites, respiratory infections, and tooth decay.
    Some of them had injuries or illnesses they had acquired during the war
    in Laos or its aftermath: gunshot wounds, chronic shoulder pain from
    carrying M-16 rifles, deafness from exploding artillery shells. “And how
    long have you had these headaches?” asked one bored doctor. His Hmong
    patient replied matter-of-factly, “Ever since I got shot in the head.”
    Another doctor, wondering if a Hmong patient’s unusual neuropathies
    might have been caused by nutritional deficiencies, learned that while
    fleeing to Thailand the man had spent several months living in the jungle,
    subsisting largely on insects.

    Before receiving clearance to be admitted to the United States, all
    Hmong, like other refugees, undergo medical screenings by physicians
    employed by the International Organization for Migration. The
    physicians must sign forms indicating that they have specifically
    examined the visa applicants for, and found them free of, eight

    contagious diseases (leprosy, tuberculosis, five venereal diseases, and,
    since 1987, positive antibodies for HIV) and eight mental conditions,
    including “Sexual Deviation,” “Psychopathic Personality,” and “Previous
    Occurrence of One or More Attacks of Insanity.” Paul DeLay, the former
    director of the Refugee Clinic at San Francisco General Hospital,
    explained to me, “You get the impression that these problems are being
    carefully screened for back in Thailand. In fact, the exam takes
    approximately ten seconds. All you get is a blood test for syphilis and
    HIV, a quick skin check for leprosy, and a chest X ray for TB. Early on,
    you could buy a clear X ray on the black market. In ’81 it got a little
    harder because the immigration officials started stapling a photo of the
    person to the X ray, but it was still possible. And despite what it says on
    the form, there’s absolutely no screening for ‘mental conditions.’ In the
    early days, some medical person would walk down the aisle of the
    airplane and if somebody looked psychotic they’d be thrown off. So if a
    family was worried about their crazy relative they’d just load him up with
    opium so he’d fall asleep.” DeLay pointed out that although few refugees
    are rejected for medical reasons, it is a terrible crisis for the ill person’s
    family when this does happen, especially because once an applicant is
    “medically excluded” by one potential country of asylum, he is unlikely
    to be accepted anywhere else. “All of this means that the refugees have
    one more reason to be afraid of doctors,” said DeLay.

    Once a refugee arrives in the United States, post-immigration
    screening is not legally required, so although most states have refugee
    health programs, many Hmong choose not to be screened and thus
    encounter the medical system for the first time during an emergency. In
    Merced, new arrivals are voluntarily processed through the county’s
    public health department, which checks primarily for tuberculosis and
    intestinal parasites. Though funding is too meager to allow more than a
    cursory examination during which the patient undresses only from the
    waist up, refugees who are pregnant or have glaringly evident medical
    problems are referred to the hospital or clinic.

    Merced’s health department is also responsible, according to its
    former director, Richard Welch, for “dealing with the problems no one

    else in the community wants to get their hands dirty dealing with.” For
    example, when a rumor circulated in Merced that a Hmong family was
    raising rats to eat, a public health worker paid a call. “One of the children
    in the family had diarrhea, so the question was, did the rats have
    salmonella or shigella?” recalled Karen Olmos, a nurse in the health
    department’s communicable disease program. “I told the worker, For
    God’s sake, don’t just barge in and tell them you want to see the rats! So
    she went over there on some other pretext, and there were the rat cages.
    She could see the rats were from the pet store, not the gutter—they were
    big whoppers. Instead of making the family feel bad about the rats, she
    simply suggested that they raise rabbits instead. Low start-up cost, high
    yield, high protein.” On another occasion, the health department launched
    an investigation after sixty Hmong with diarrhea arrived at the MCMC
    emergency room. It turned out that for a major feast on a hot summer
    day, a pig infected with salmonella had been butchered, ripened in the sun
    for six hours, and served in various forms, including ground raw pork
    mixed with raw blood.

    Although by the mid-eighties the regular staffs of the health
    department and the hospital had become inured, if not resigned, to
    dealing with the Hmong, each year brought a fresh crop of family
    practice residents who had to start from scratch. Avid for exotic medical
    experiences and hoping that, with its large refugee population, Merced
    might be sort of like the Peace Corps (but with good hamburgers), these
    new arrivals were deeply disappointed to find that their Hmong patients
    spent most of the time staring at the floor and speaking in monosyllables,
    of which the most frequent was “yes.” After a while, they began to realize
    that “yes” simply meant that the patients were politely listening, not that
    they agreed with or even had any idea what the doctor was talking about.
    It was typically Hmong for patients to appear passively obedient—thus
    protecting their own dignity by concealing their ignorance and their
    doctor’s dignity by acting deferential—and then, as soon as they left the
    hospital, to ignore everything to which they had supposedly assented.

    When no interpreter was present, the doctor and the patient stumbled
    around together in a dense fog of misunderstanding whose hazards only

    increased if the patient spoke a little English, enough to lull the doctor
    into mistakenly believing some useful information had been transferred.
    When an interpreter was present, the duration of every diagnostic
    interview automatically doubled. (Or tripled. Or centupled. Because most
    medical terms had no Hmong equivalents, laborious paraphrases were
    often necessary. In a recently published Hmong-English medical
    glossary, the recommended Hmong translation for “parasite” is twenty-
    four words long; for “hormone,” thirty-one words; and for “X
    chromosome,” forty-six words.) The prospect of those tortoise-paced
    interviews struck fear into the heart of every chronically harried resident.
    And even on the rare occasions when there was a perfect verbatim
    translation, there was no guarantee that either side actually understood
    the other. According to Dave Schneider, who served his residency in
    Merced in the late eighties, “The language barrier was the most obvious
    problem, but not the most important. The biggest problem was the
    cultural barrier. There is a tremendous difference between dealing with
    the Hmong and dealing with anyone else. An infinite difference.” Dan
    Murphy said, “The Hmong simply didn’t have the same concepts that I
    did. For instance, you can’t tell them that somebody is diabetic because
    their pancreas doesn’t work. They don’t have a word for pancreas. They
    don’t have an idea for pancreas. Most of them had no concept that the
    organs they saw in animals were the same as in humans, because they
    didn’t open people up when they died, they buried them intact. They
    knew there was a heart, because they could feel the heartbeat, but beyond
    that—well, even lungs were kind of a difficult thing to get into. How
    would you intuit the existence of lungs if you had never seen them?”

    Hmong patients might not understand the doctors’ diagnoses, but if
    they had summoned the courage to visit the clinic, they wanted to be told
    that something was wrong and to be given something, preferably a fast-
    acting antibiotic, to fix it. The doctors had a hard time meeting these
    expectations when the Hmong complained, as they frequently did, of
    vague, chronic pain. “I have a particular series of diagnostic questions I
    usually ask when a patient complains of pain,” said Dave Schneider. “I
    ask what makes it better and what makes it worse? Is it sharp? Dull?

    Piercing? Tearing? Stinging? Aching? Does it radiate from one place to
    another? Can you rate its severity on a scale from one to ten? Is it
    sudden? Is it intermittent? When did it start? How long does it last? I
    would try to get an interpreter to ask a Hmong patient these questions,
    and the interpreter would shrug and say, ‘He just says it hurts.’”

    It has been well known since the aftermath of the Second World War
    that because of the enormous psychological traumas they have suffered,
    refugees of all nationalities have an unusually high incidence of
    somatization, in which emotional problems express themselves as
    physical problems. After dozens of gastrointestinal series, electromy-
    ograms, blood tests, and CT scans, the Merced doctors began to realize
    that many Hmong complaints had no organic basis, though the pain was
    perfectly real. Because so little could be done for them and because they
    were so depressing to be around, Hmong with “total body pain” were
    among the clinic’s least popular patients. I once heard a resident try to
    persuade a physician’s assistant to take over one of his cases. “No,
    Steve,” said the assistant. “No, I do not want to see an elderly Hmong
    woman with multiple complaints and depression. I will take your coughs
    and your back problems, but don’t give me one of those!” In order to
    show they were taking the complaints seriously, some doctors prescribed
    what they called “the Hmong cocktail”—Motrin (an anti-inflammatory),
    Elavil (an antidepressant), and vitamin B12. But the patients did not
    usually get better. “For the underlying problems,” explained Bill
    Selvidge, “there was no treatment that it was in my power to offer.”

    If Hmong patients left the Family Practice Clinic without a
    prescription (for example, if they had a cold or flu), they sometimes felt
    cheated and wondered if they were being discriminated against. But if
    they were given a prescription, no one knew if it would be followed.
    “You’d say, take a tablespoon of that,” said Mari Mockus, a nurse at the
    clinic. “They’d say, ‘What’s a tablespoon?’” One patient refused to
    swallow a pill because it was an inauspicious color. Long-term therapy—
    for example, the doses of isoniazid that must be taken every day for a
    year to treat tuberculosis—was always problematic, especially if the

    illness was asymptomatic. Whatever the prescription, the instructions on
    pill bottles were interpreted not as orders but as malleable suggestions.
    Afraid that medicines designed for large Americans were too strong for
    them, some Hmong cut the dosage in half; others double-dosed so they
    would get well faster. It was always frightening for the doctors to
    prescribe potentially dangerous medications, lest they be misused. In one
    notorious case, the parents of a large Hmong family en route from
    Thailand to Hawaii were given a bottle of motion sickness pills before
    they boarded the plane. They unintentionally overdosed all their children.
    The older ones merely slept, but by the time the plane landed, the infant
    was dead. The medical examiner elected to withhold the cause of death
    from the parents, fearing they would be saddled with an impossible
    burden of guilt if they learned the truth.

    When a Hmong patient required hospitalization, MCMC nurses
    administered the medications, and the doctors could stop wondering
    whether the dose was going to be too high or too low. There was plenty
    else to worry about. When they walked into a hospital room, they often
    had to run a gantlet of a dozen or more relatives. Decisions—especially
    about procedures, such as surgery, that violated Hmong taboos—often
    took hours. Wives had to ask their husbands, husbands had to ask their
    elder brothers, elder brothers had to ask their clan leaders, and sometimes
    the clan leaders had to telephone even more important leaders in other
    states. In emergency situations, the doctors sometimes feared their
    patients would die before permission could be obtained for life-saving
    procedures. All too often, permission was refused. “They won’t do
    something just because somebody more powerful says do it,” said Dan
    Murphy. “They will sit back and watch and sort of mentally chew it over,
    and then they may or may not do it. That attitude has been very culturally
    adaptive for the Hmong for thousands of years, and I think that it is still
    culturally adaptive, but when it hit the medical community, it was awful.”

    Teresa Callahan once saw a patient in the emergency room who had
    an ectopic pregnancy that required the immediate removal of a Fallopian
    tube. “I told her over and over again that if the tube ruptured at home she
    might die before she could get to the hospital. I called her husband and

    her mother and her father and her grandparents, and they all said nope.
    All that mattered to them was that she would have one less tube and she
    might not be able to have kids after that, and when they heard that, it was
    no, no, no, no. She’d rather die. I had to watch her walk out the door
    knowing she had something that could kill her.” (Several days later, the
    woman consented to the surgery after consulting a Thai doctor in Fresno.
    Teresa does not know how he persuaded her.) Another Hmong woman,
    examined shortly before she went into labor, was told that because her
    baby was in a breech position, a cesarean section was indicated. Although
    breech births in Laos often meant death to both mother and child, the
    woman attempted to give birth at home rather than submit to the surgery.
    The attempt failed. Dave Schneider was on call when an ambulance
    brought her to the hospital. “I got paged at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m.,” he recalled.
    “‘Dr. Schneider, stat to the emergency room, there’s a lady coming in
    with a breech baby that won’t come out.’ The paramedics came in
    wheeling this Hmong woman on a gurney. She was making no noise, just
    moving her head around in panic. There was a blanket partly over her. I
    have a very clear visual memory of lifting the covers to reveal a pair of
    little blue legs, not moving, hanging out of her vagina.” Dave delivered
    the baby vaginally by manually stretching the cervix over its head. The
    mother recovered, but the baby died of oxygen deprivation.

    Most Hmong women did go to the hospital to give birth, erroneously
    believing that babies born at home would not become U.S. citizens.
    Doctors were more likely to encounter them on the Labor and Delivery
    floor than in any other medical context because they had so many
    children. In the mid-eighties, the fertility rate of Hmong women in
    America was 9.5 children, which, according to one study, was “at the
    upper limits of human reproductive capacity,” second only to the
    Hutterites. (The fertility rate of white Americans is 1.9 children, and of
    black Americans, 2.2.) This rate has undoubtedly decreased—though it
    has not been recently quantified—as young Hmong have become more
    Americanized, but it is still extraordinarily high. The large size of Hmong
    families is the inevitable result of two circumstances: Hmong women
    usually marry during their teens, sometimes as early as thirteen or

    fourteen, thus allowing their reproductive years to extend nearly from
    menarche to menopause; and, as a rule, they are highly suspicious of
    contraception. In 1987, when Donald Ranard, a researcher on refugee
    issues at the Center for Applied Linguistics in Washington, D.C., visited
    Ban Vinai, he learned that in an effort to curb the exploding birthrate of
    the camp’s inhabitants, the administrators had promised free cassette
    recorders to women who volunteered to take contraceptive pills. Many
    women accepted both the tape recorders and the pills, but they soon
    discovered a marvelous paradox: the contraceptives, which they had
    probably never intended to swallow in the first place, were a superior
    fertilizer. So the pills ended up being ground up and sprinkled on Hmong
    vegetable plots, while the gardeners continued to get pregnant.

    The Hmong have many reasons for prizing fecundity. The most
    important is that they love children. In addition, they traditionally value
    large families because many children were needed to till the fields in
    Laos and to perform certain religious rites, especially funerals; because
    the childhood mortality rate in Laos was so high; because so many
    Hmong died during the war and its aftermath; and because many Hmong
    still hope that their people will someday return to Laos and defeat the
    communist regime. In the refugee camps, Hmong newborns were often
    referred to as “soldiers” and “nurses.” The frequent appearance at MCMC
    of Hmong women on the Merced public assistance rolls who were about
    to give birth to their eighth, tenth, or fourteenth child did not endear them
    to those staff members who have strong ideas about family planning. “I
    am totally disgusted by the breeding rate,” said Robert Small, an
    obstetrician who is well known for his clinical proficiency, his
    unapologetic contempt for the Hmong, and his propensity for mixed
    metaphors. “The Hmong breed like flies as if the golden goose of welfare
    will continue to lay eggs forever.”

    According to Dr. Small, the Hmong are highly uncooperative
    obstetrical patients. “They don’t do a damn thing you tell them,” he said.
    “They just come in late and drop it out. In fact, they wouldn’t come at all
    if they didn’t need to get the birth certificate so they could get more
    welfare. You or I, we can’t conceive of the degree of ignorance. They’re

    almost a Stone Age people. Hell, they never went to a doctor before. They
    just had a baby in the camp or the mountains or wherever the hell they
    came from.” Because they were approximately as fond of most doctors as
    Robert Small was of them, Hmong women who arrived in Merced in the
    refugee influx of the early and mid-eighties tended to avoid prenatal
    care.* They were particularly frightened of pelvic exams performed by
    male doctors. (In the Hmong healing system, txiv neebs and herbalists,
    who do not touch their patients, may treat people of the opposite sex, but
    in the more intimate sphere of dermal therapy—massage, acupuncture,
    pinching, coin rubbing—men usually treat men, and women women.)
    Once they were in labor, the women preferred to wait until the last
    minute to arrive at the hospital. They often gave birth in the parking lot,
    the emergency room, or the elevator. Wheelchairs at MCMC were called
    “Hmong birthing chairs” because so many Hmong babies were born in
    them en route to the Labor and Delivery floor.

    Even if they got to the hospital on time, the women made so little
    noise during labor that the hospital staff, not realizing birth was
    imminent, often failed to transfer them from labor beds to delivery
    tables. A few doctors found this forbearance admirable. “We were told in
    medical school that childbearing is one of the three or four most painful
    things that can happen to a person,” said Dave Schneider. “Most women
    scream. Hmong women don’t make any sound at all. They are just
    remarkably, unbelievably stoic.”

    The obstetric nurses were less impressed by the silence of their
    Hmong patients. Dan Murphy explained, “The nurses’ attitude was more,
    ‘Why didn’t they tell us they were about to deliver? What are they,
    stupid?’ I think it was kind of a displaced anxiety. I don’t think that they
    were angry at the Hmong so much as they were anxious because the
    Hmong didn’t fit the pattern they had been trained to deal with.” Some
    other ways in which Hmong women failed to fit the pattern included
    squatting during delivery and refusing permission for episiotomy
    incisions to enlarge the vaginal opening. Although Lia’s mother, when
    she lived in Laos, had preferred to go through labor alone, many Hmong
    women were used to being held from behind by their husbands, who

    massaged their bellies with saliva and hummed loudly just before the
    baby emerged. The husbands made it very clear what they expected from
    the doctors. “One father slapped my hand when I was controlling the
    progress of the baby’s head,” recalled Kris Hartwig. “The nurses got very
    upset because he violated the sterile field. Then, as I was clamping the
    umbilical cord, he reached down and touched the cord and said, ‘This is
    how long it has to be.’”

    Because neither of the father’s demands endangered the health of the
    mother or the child, Kris Hartwig complied. But what if a patient (or her
    husband or father or brother, who was more likely to make the decision)
    refused an episiotomy that her doctors believed would prevent an
    imminent fourth-degree laceration—a laceration that the husband or
    father or brother might then forbid the doctor to stitch up? Or, worse still,
    what if the fetal monitor indicated that the baby’s heartbeat had
    dangerously decelerated, and the family refused to sign a consent form
    for an emergency cesarean section?

    I asked Raquel Arias—by common consent, the MCMC obstetrician
    with the most dazzling combination of skill and empathy—what she did
    when the wishes of her Hmong patients conflicted with the standard of
    medical care she was accustomed to providing. “I have the same standard
    of care for the Hmong as I have for everyone else,” she said. “My hands
    are just tied to provide it. So I give them suboptimal care. Sometimes you
    can find middle ground and try to understand where they are coming
    from, which is hard, but not impossible. Sometimes you can persuade
    them to do what you want. You keep telling them stuff and if you want it
    bad enough then maybe it’ll work. It is when the well-being of the fetus is
    in jeopardy—a fetus that in our perspective is a full person who should
    have the rights and privileges that all citizens of this country have—and
    the beliefs and customs of the family seem to be going against what you
    believe is in the fetus’s best interest, that you have the worst conflict.
    When that happens, it is an unbelievably terrible situation to be in. It is
    awful. It is not the kind of tension you feel when you get mad at someone
    from your own background who is doing something they know is bad,
    like smoking or drinking while they are pregnant. This is a different kind

    of tension because they don’t know that they are doing something bad.
    According to their beliefs and principles, they are trying to protect the
    mother and the baby and their way of life. And what you think is
    necessary happens to be exactly the opposite of what they think is
    appropriate.”

    Listening to Raquel, I was struck, as I often was, by the staggering
    toll of stress that the Hmong exacted from the people who took care of
    them, particularly the ones who were young, idealistic, and meticulous.
    During Hmong labors that were going badly, Raquel bit her fingernails
    (which were impeccably polished with Purple Passion enamel) to the
    quick. Sukey Waller, a psychologist at Merced Community Outreach
    Services who was highly regarded in local Hmong circles, went through a
    period of throwing up before going to work each morning. Benny
    Douglas, a resident who was known for his imperturbable calm, was so
    upset by one problematic case (an elderly Hmong woman had gastric
    cancer, and Benny hadn’t been able to persuade her sons to consent to her
    surgery) that he developed severe insomnia. I remember seeing Benny
    slumped forlornly in a chair, alone in the residents’ call room at dusk,
    dictating his notes about Mrs. Thao into a little tape recorder while he
    drank cup after Tommee Tippee cup of coffee and reflexively picked at
    his eyelashes.

    When I asked Dan Murphy why he thought caring for the Hmong
    caused so much stress, he said, “People in the early years of their medical
    careers have invested an incredible amount of time and energy and pain
    in their training, and they have been taught that what they’ve learned in
    medical school is the only legitimate way to approach health problems. I
    think that is why some young doctors go through the roof when Hmong
    patients reject what we have to offer them, because it intimates that what
    Western medicine has to offer is not much.”

    The only doctor I met in Merced who seemed untroubled either by his
    encounters with the Hmong, or by the question of whether he was
    providing optimal care, was Roger Fife, a family physician who served
    his residency at MCMC in the early eighties and then joined the staff of a
    local private hospital. Dr. Fife estimated that seventy percent of his

    clientele was Hmong, a fraction unequaled in any other practice in town.
    When I asked him why he was so popular, he was able to offer no
    explanation other than “Maybe I talk slower than the other doctors.” His
    patients have no problem explaining. Every Hmong I asked said exactly
    the same thing: “Dr. Fife doesn’t cut.” On the whole, that was true. Dr.
    Fife generally did not perform episiotomies on Hmong women, though he
    did not know why they didn’t want them, never having asked. He avoided
    cesarean sections whenever possible, and he had particularly endeared
    himself to his Hmong patients by handing them their babies’ placentas in
    plastic bags whenever they requested them, though he had no idea what
    they did with them and said he had never been curious. Roger Fife is not
    held in high esteem at MCMC. “He’s a little thick,” one resident told me.
    “He’s not the most intelligent graduate our program has ever had,” said
    another. “He’s an adequate physician,” said a third, choosing his words
    carefully. Though I doubt that even the most ecumenical of Merced’s
    doctors would wish to have more Hmong patients, still it must have been
    galling for these residents to realize that the Hmong community
    overwhelmingly preferred a doctor whose standard of care they believed
    to be inferior to their own. Roger Fife happened to espouse a philosophy
    that carried more weight with the Hmong than any degree of knowledge,
    intelligence, or technical skill. When I asked him why he didn’t usually
    force his Hmong patients to comply with conventional American medical
    practices, he shrugged and said, “It’s their body.”

    7
    Government Property

    Neil Ernst was a doctor of a different breed. It would have gone
    completely against his grain to apply two different standards of care to
    his patients: a higher one for the Americans, a lower one for the Hmong.
    But might Lia Lee have been better off if her family had brought her to
    Roger Fife? Might Neil actually have compromised Lia’s health by being
    so uncompromising? That latter question still bothers him. For example,
    if Lia’s prescriptions hadn’t been changed so often, her parents might
    have been more likely to give her her medications, since they would have
    been less confused and more confident that the doctors knew what they
    were doing. Neil was pretty sure, however, that because Lia’s condition
    was progressive and unpredictable, he could treat it best by constantly
    fine-tuning her drug regimen. If he had chosen a single pretty-good
    anticonvulsant and stuck with it, he would have had to decide that Lia
    wasn’t going to get the same care he would have given the daughter of a
    middle-class American family who would have been willing and able to
    comply with a complex course of treatment. Which would have been
    more discriminatory, to deprive Lia of the optimal care that another child
    would have received, or to fail to tailor her treatment in such a way that
    her family would be most likely to comply with it?

    A decade ago, that is not the way Neil looked at the situation. He
    never seriously considered lowering his standard of care. His job, as he
    saw it, was to practice good medicine; the Lees’ job was to comply. Lack
    of compliance constituted child endangerment, which is a form of child
    abuse. He postponed calling Child Protective Services for as long as he
    could, giving Lia’s parents every possible chance to reform, talking the

    case over with his wife nearly every night, worrying that “what happened
    in Fresno” might happen in Merced. (He and Peggy had both heard, and
    believed, the rumor about the Hmong father in Fresno who hanged
    himself in his prison cell after being unjustly arrested for child abuse.)
    Neil finally decided that he had no choice but to request that Lia be
    placed in foster care. Other options he has considered in retrospect, such
    as arranging for a nurse to visit the Lee house three times every day to
    give Lia her medicine or enlisting the help of Hmong community leaders
    to increase parental compliance, either seemed at the time to have
    insuperable bureaucratic obstacles or simply didn’t occur to him. When I
    asked Neil whether, once he had made up his mind, he continued to brood
    about the effect his decision would have on the Lee family, he said,
    “Yeah, sure. I mean, you always do. But you get so single-minded about
    the child’s welfare that you can pretty effectively suppress any kind of
    bad feelings you have about what you do to the parents. And there was
    another part—and here I am speaking for myself, not for Peggy—which
    is that I felt that there was a lesson that needed to be learned. I don’t
    know if this is a bigoted statement, but I am going to say it anyway. I felt
    it was important for these Hmongs to understand that there were certain
    elements of medicine that we understood better than they did and that
    there were certain rules they had to follow with their kids’ lives. I wanted
    the word to get out in the community that if they deviated from that, it
    was not acceptable behavior.”

    Once he had determined that Lia’s parents were endangering her
    health, it was fully within Neil’s legal rights to file a report with Child
    Protective Services. In fact, he might have committed a crime if he
    hadn’t filed a report. Failure to report child abuse is a prosecutable
    offense in forty-four states, including California. Because physicians —
    along with other health care workers, teachers, day-care employees, and
    police officers—are especially likely to come across evidence of abuse,
    all fifty states have immunity clauses in their child welfare laws that
    protect these groups from civil or criminal charges after they file abuse
    reports, even if they are found to be wrong.

    The fact that Lia’s parents refused to give her the medications at least

    in part because of cultural or religious reasons (of which Neil was only
    hazily aware) would probably have cut little ice in court, even if the Lees
    had been savvy enough to try to defend their actions. If a child had not
    been involved, things would have been different. In cases involving
    competent adults, the principle of autonomy almost always takes legal
    precedence over the principle of beneficence, which means, for example,
    that a Jehovah’s Witness has a right to refuse a blood transfusion, or a
    Christian Scientist a course of chemotherapy, even if he or she dies as a
    result. But with a minor, the state has the right— indeed, the obligation—
    to force the patient to comply with a life-saving treatment, even if it is
    forbidden by the family’s religion. “Parents may be free to become
    martyrs themselves,” wrote Justice Robert Jackson in a 1943 Supreme
    Court decision. “But it does not follow that they are free, in identical
    circumstances, to make martyrs of their children.” Several parents who
    belong to fundamentalist sects have been jailed after the deaths of
    children whom they had attempted to cure with faith healing; no
    Christian Scientist has yet been imprisoned, though several have been
    convicted of involuntary manslaughter or child endangerment and
    sentenced to a combination of fines, probation, and community service.*
    If parents who practice these relatively mainstream religions have so
    consistently failed to sway the courts, it is doubtful that a judge would
    have been favorably impressed had the Lees informed him that they were
    shamanistic animists who believed their daughter’s illness was caused by
    the loss of her soul and could be treated most effectively by animal
    sacrifice.

    Neil never had any desire to have Lia’s parents prosecuted, and no
    legal action was ever taken against them. All he wanted was to get Lia out
    of their hands and into the stewardship of someone who would administer
    her medications exactly as he prescribed them. On May 2, 1985, she was
    placed temporarily in a foster home run by two Mennonite sisters who,
    whenever she became hyperactive, strapped her into an infant car-seat on
    the living room floor. After two weeks, she was returned home and her
    parents were given one last chance. Blood tests continued to show that
    they were giving her less than the prescribed dose of Tegretol. At this

    point, the Merced Department of Child Protective Services filed Petition
    #15270 with the Superior Court of the State of California, “In the Matter
    of LIA LEE, a Person coming within the Provisions of the Juvenile Court
    Law.” The petition began:

    Your petitioner is informed, believes and therefore alleges,
    (1) That the above named minor resides at: 37 East 12th St., Apt. A,
    Merced, California.

    (2) That said minor is two years 11 months of age, having been born
    on the 19th day of July, 1982.

    (3) That said minor comes within the provisions of section 300
    Subdivision A of the Juvenile Court Law of the State of California,
    as follows: Said minor is in need of proper and effective parental
    care and has no parent willing to or capable of exercising such care
    and control. Said minor is an epileptic with a complex seizure
    disorder, and the parents are administering sub-therapeutic
    medication levels. As a result of the parents’ failure to comply with
    medication instructions, said minor has had multiple
    hospitalizations and severe seizures which have been life-
    threatening. The doctor states that said minor needs to be removed
    from the parental home at this time to preserve the life of said
    minor. There is a substantial danger to the physical health of said
    minor and there are no reasonable means by which said minor’s
    physical health can be protected without removing the minor from
    her parents’ physical custody.

    It concluded:

    WHEREFORE, your petitioner prays that this Court declare said
    minor to be a Dependent Child of the Juvenile Court.

    On June 26, Lia was removed from her home again, this time for a
    placement of at least six months. Her parents were not notified in

    advance that she was going to be taken. When the CPS workers arrived,
    Foua was out of the house, visiting relatives. Several years later, Nao Kao
    told me, through an interpreter, what had happened. (He was under the
    impression that the social workers, who were accompanied by a Hmong
    interpreter named Sue Xiong, were police officers.) “The police came to
    take Lia away. Sue told the doctor that we didn’t give Lia any medicine
    and that is why the doctors got mad and they came to take Lia away. I
    was very angry. I almost killed the translator. I said, This is my child and
    I love her. The police said for six months Lia is government property.”

    Foua told me, “When I came home my husband told me that they took
    the baby and he said that they didn’t tell them where they took the baby. I
    didn’t know any English so I didn’t know what to think or what to say. I
    told my elder relatives, but they said, Well, if those people came to take
    her, then you can’t do anything. I cried so much that I thought my eyes
    would go blind.”

    It was interesting to me that almost none of the MCMC residents—
    even those who had taken care of Lia many times in the emergency room
    and, years later, could recall the medical aspects of her case in minute
    detail—were aware, until I told them, that Neil had arranged to have Lia
    removed from her family. When they heard about it, every one of them
    disagreed with his decision, though none of them could suggest a better
    alternative. Neil had not deliberately concealed what had happened. It
    was simply not his habit to discuss emotionally charged topics, especially
    ones about which he felt apprehensive or ambivalent, with anyone but his
    wife. When I told Dan Murphy about Lia’s placement in foster care, he
    was astounded. “Neil must have been just desperate to do something like
    that,” he said. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a child being taken
    away from good caretakers. You know, it’s usually somebody who is
    willfully harming their child, either through extreme neglect or through
    actually doing them damage, but Lia’s parents really loved their kid. If I
    was in another country and somebody took my kid for reasons that I
    couldn’t understand, I would at least start considering violent
    alternatives, I really would.”

    In Merced’s Hmong community, especially among the Lee and Yang

    clans, everyone knew about what had happened. The news of Lia’s
    disappearance confirmed what many people had already suspected, that
    doctors were not to be trusted and that they were in league with other
    coercive authorities—a lesson of sorts, but not the one Neil had in mind.
    Long after the event, I asked Kia Lee and Koua Her, two Hmong
    interpreters who worked for the public health department, what they had
    thought of the matter. (Kia is a woman and Koua a man.) They both
    remembered it well. “Maybe they should not take Lia away,” said Kia
    diplomatically. “Maybe this was not right. The parents not want to hurt
    the child. They try very hard to be good parents. They lost many child in
    Laos and they love this child very very much. In Laos, the parent have
    one hundred percent responsibility over the child. How can you say you
    can take it away unless it is orphan?” Koua said more sharply, “It was not
    necessary for CPS to take the kid. If they don’t care about the kid, okay,
    but parents love the kid more than others in the house. The mother was
    crying and crying all the time. The father he was not crying, he was very
    angry. Hmong men do not cry even if you feel sad. In Laos, I never heard
    of this happening in my life.”

    In a master’s thesis in anthropology called “Analysis of Cultural
    Beliefs and Power Dynamics in Disagreements About Health Care of
    Hmong Children,” a Minnesota physician named Kathleen Ann Culhane-
    Pera summarized the Hmong attitude toward responsibility in pediatric
    medical cases:

    Hmong parents believe parents are responsible for the child’s
    welfare and for deciding the child’s medical treatment. Since
    parents gave birth to the child, provide for the child’s physical
    needs, and love the child, they are the ones who decide the
    treatment approach for the child. Because family members love
    the child and are part of the family, they can assist the parents in
    making decisions about the optimal actions. Respected family
    lineage leaders also assist parents in making difficult decisions
    about serious conditions. But as physicians are not family
    members, they cannot make decisions for the child…. If doctors

    take over the parents’ responsibility, and decide to treat without
    parental permission, then doctors are responsible for the
    consequences. If the child dies, it is their fault; and how will they
    repay the parents? Indeed, how will they pay for the life?

    As long as doctors and parents continue to negotiate, even if they
    disagree, the conflict is confined to differences in belief systems. “Once
    the police are called and court orders are obtained, however, the
    difficulties escalate to another level,” wrote Culhane-Pera. “The
    differences are no longer about beliefs. The differences are about power.
    Doctors have power to call the police and to access state power which
    Hmong parents do not have.” Because the Hmong have historically been
    so resistant to authority, they are especially confused and enraged when
    they are stripped of their power in a country to which they have fled
    because of its reputation for freedom. As one parent, whose sick child
    was forced to have a spinal tap after the doctor obtained a court order,
    told Culhane-Pera, “The way we feel, the United States is more
    communist than our country is.” Another angry parent who had had a
    similar experience told her, “No matter how much we don’t know about
    technology, about human health, physical, but we have seen a lot in
    experience too. I don’t want any doctor to treat any human being like an
    animal. Animals, they don’t understand, but human beings do, we do
    know how to talk. We do understand like anyone who is a human being.
    We are just refugees but we are human beings like any doctor too.”

    Once a child is removed from parental custody, Child Protective
    Services must file an explanatory petition within two days, and a
    detention hearing is usually scheduled for the day after the petition is
    filed. Nao Kao Lee appeared in court on June 28, 1985, accompanied by a
    public defender. No one remembers whether an interpreter was there as
    well. The judge approved CPS’s petition to detain Lia; Nao Kao, who was
    unaware that it was permissible to object, is recorded as assenting. The
    plan detailed in the Disposition of Case #15270 called for Lia to remain
    in foster care for six months, the minimum time that Neil estimated
    would be needed to stabilize her seizure disorder. Her parents would be

    permitted weekly visits, though these did not start until she had been
    away from home for more than a month. In fact, following a policy,
    common at the time, that was intended to prevent distraught parents from
    immediately retrieving their children, CPS did not inform Foua and Nao
    Kao of their daughter’s whereabouts for several weeks. According to Nao
    Kao, “After one month, I went to my cousin who speaks English and
    asked him to call the police and ask where Lia is because my wife was
    missing Lia too much and she was going crazy.” Lia was to be reunited
    with her family after six months only if the court was persuaded that her
    parents would comply with her medication regimen. Child Protective
    Services was to work with them to increase that likelihood. If the court
    did not decide within a year that Lia could safely return to her family, the
    Lees would permanently lose custody.

    It was the responsibility of CPS to find Lia an appropriate foster
    home. Her caseworker filled out a form for “Specialized Foster Care”—
    that is, care for a child with unusual medical or behavioral problems.
    Among the “Behavior Problems of Child” that she circled were: “Has had
    one or more violent episodes, causing minor physical injury within the
    last year.” “Has caused minor [property] damage on six or more
    occasions within the past year.” “Displays self-injurious behavior (biting,
    scratching) at least once a month.” “Becomes aggressive or hostile when
    frustrated.” “Does not participate in social activities.” “Does not
    participate in group projects.” “Is hyperactive in all environments.” “Is
    resistive in all situations.” “Has temper tantrums daily.” The caseworker
    was to add up the points and rank the cumulative severity of the problem
    behavior on a scale from 40 (the best) to 70 (the worst). At 81, Lia’s
    score was off the scale. The only categories in which she received
    favorable—indeed, perfect—scores were “No evidence of depressive
    behavior,” “Responds to affection appropriately,” and “Gives affection
    appropriately.”

    A day or two before Lia was removed from her home, Dee and Tom
    Korda, a couple living twenty-five miles northwest of Merced who had
    recently been certified as foster parents, received a call from CPS.
    “We’ve got a two-year-old Hmong girl with epilepsy,” said the social

    worker. “Can you handle it?” At the time, Dee Korda had never heard the
    word “Hmong,” had four children of her own, was pregnant with her fifth,
    and was taking care of another foster child, her first. “Sure,” she said.
    Dee told me several years later, “I was so eager I would have taken
    anything they offered.”

    I was curious to meet the Kordas, because when I called Dee, the first
    thing she had said was, “How are Foua and Nao Kao? Don’t you just love
    them?” Since at that point I had never heard an American say a good
    word about the Lees, and since I subscribed to the conventional wisdom
    that biological parents and foster parents are natural enemies, her
    question threw me somewhat off balance. When I arrived at the Kordas’
    rambling one-story house, which was in a dairy community dotted with
    peach and almond orchards, I was greeted by several large dogs that Dee
    and Tom, with the help of the five biological and six foster children, most
    of them retarded or emotionally disturbed, who were living with them at
    the time, were raising as canine guides for the blind. As we sat in the
    living room, Dee simultaneously showed me a small scrapbook full of
    pictures of Lia (she keeps one for every child she has cared for) and
    dispensed hugs to children of various sizes and races who wandered in
    and out.

    After Lia arrived in the Korda house, she cried continuously for ten
    days. “Lia was the only child I’ve ever heard who could cry while
    inhaling and exhaling,” said Dee. “In and out, loud and abrasive, on and
    on and on. I know she was crying for them, for her mom and dad, even
    though she didn’t know the words to tell me. I’d find her curled in the
    bathtub, her face real worried and troubled and confused and sad.
    Sometimes she would pound at the door like a caged animal and shout,
    ‘Na! Na! Na! Na!’ Now I know that means daddy in Hmong.” (In fact, Lia
    was probably saying niam—pronounced “nya”—which means mother; the
    word for father is txiv.) Because the Kordas spoke no Hmong, they had no
    way of comforting Lia verbally. The only thing that seemed to help was
    constant physical contact. During the day, Dee simultaneously carried Lia
    in a backpack and her own youngest child, who was nine months old
    when Lia arrived, in a frontpack. At night, Lia usually slept in the

    Kordas’ bed, which was ten and a half feet wide, large enough to
    accommodate a substantial fraction of the household. When Lia was
    inconsolable, Dee, guessing correctly that she had never been weaned,
    breastfed her alongside her own baby. “If there was ever going to be a
    way, it was Lia’s way,” she told me. “That’s what she was used to. Her
    family let her rule the roost at home because she was the special child,
    the princess. Oh, Lia could be ornery and strong-willed, but she was a
    sweetie too. She’d crawl on your lap. She was so beautiful. We didn’t
    mean nothing to her at first, but she learned to love us. She knew how to
    love and how to let people love her. We were blessed to have Lia.”

    Jeanine Hilt, the CPS caseworker, frequently visited the Kordas
    during this period and kept a Welfare Services Contact Record that gives
    some idea of what the Kordas’ less blessed days with Lia were like. Some
    of the entries:

    Lia’s problems are very behavioral. Cries constantly. Real
    disruptive, real anger. Will cry non-stop 2–5 a.m.—kicking.
    Won’t give in. Family is on edge.

    Tantruming. Withholds food. Looks at Dee, takes off her panties
    and pees.

    Pooping on floor now.

    Bit herself on lip.

    Lia crying 4 days straight. Smearing feces.

    Intense crying again. Stripped herself, peed on the floor, went on a
    wave of destruction. Had to sedate her.

    Noting that Lia had “inflicted numerous injuries on other children
    ranging from bruises to cuts requiring stitches” that she required constant
    supervision to keep her from “activities that she has previously
    experienced as harmful or dangerous, i.e., hot water, bathtubs, high

    places, swimming pool, etc.” and that the Kordas were providing an
    “extremely high level of care,” Jeanine Hilt successfully petitioned the
    Department of Human Resources to pay Dee and Tom the unusually high
    fee of $1,000 a month for taking care of Lia. (The Lees had supported
    themselves and the seven of their nine surviving children who were living
    at home, including Lia, on $790 a month in welfare payments plus $84
    that Lia, whose epilepsy had qualified her for disability funding, received
    as Supplemental Security Income.)

    In her letter to the Department of Human Resources, Jeanine Hilt also
    noted that Dee Korda was taking Lia to between two and five doctors’
    appointments a week. Despite the fact that Dee followed the
    anticonvulsant prescriptions to the letter (a task that sometimes required
    holding Lia down and repeating the doses after she spat them all over
    Dee’s clothes), Lia was still seizing. In fact, she seized more frequently at
    the Kordas’ than she had when she was living with her own family. She
    was hospitalized four times at Emanuel Medical Center in Turlock, the
    town nearest the Kordas’ home, and on one occasion was transferred from
    Emanuel to MCMC, which did not make a favorable impression on Dee.
    “The MCMC nurses wouldn’t talk to her nice and soft,” she told me.
    “When she soiled her bed, it wasn’t Oh honey, it was My god what a
    mess. They’d tie both arms and both legs with cloth, like nursing homes
    use on old people. It was degrading.” Lia’s new doctors in Turlock
    changed her prescription several times, eliminating first the
    phenobarbital and then the Tegretol and substituting various
    combinations of Dilantin, Depakene, and Ritalin. According to Dee, the
    new regimens had fewer side effects. “Tegretol and phenobarbital were
    the worst combination for Lia,” she said. “The worst. When she took
    them she was drunk, she couldn’t navigate or walk. I think that’s why her
    parents wouldn’t give them to her. Then she’d have a seizure and
    everyone would get mad at them.” Lia’s coordination improved, but her
    seizures continued.

    After they found out where their daughter had been taken, Lia’s
    family visited her whenever their nephew, who owned a car, could give
    them a ride. The first time they visited, Dee showed them how she carried

    Lia on her back, just the way Foua did, and how Lia slept in the family
    bed. The Korda children lent the Lee children bathing suits, and they all
    swam together in the backyard pool. Pang crawled on the lawn with Dee’s
    baby. Eventually, the Lees’ twelve-year-old daughter May became
    friends with the Kordas’ ten-year-old daughter Wendy, and once spent a
    whole week at their house. Foua embroidered a nyias, a Hmong baby
    carrier, for Dee. After a few months went by, Dee started leaving her own
    baby with Foua when she took Lia to medical appointments—perhaps the
    first instance in the history of Child Protective Services that a foster
    mother has asked a legally abusive parent to baby-sit for her. It did not
    take the Kordas long to decide that CPS had made a mistake in taking Lia
    away from her family (though CPS, when Dee told them so, did not
    agree). “I was attached to Lia, but she really needed to be at home,” said
    Dee. “Foua and Nao Kao were so warm, so caring, and they loved that
    child so much. I’m bitter. They never should have been in the system.”
    By the time I met Dee, she had taken care of a total of thirty-five foster
    children, most of whom had been severely battered or sexually abused by
    their parents. Lia was the only one for whom she had ever recommended
    reunification.

    At the end of each of the Lees’ visits to the Kordas’ house, Lia tried
    to get in the car with them and screamed with panic when they drove
    away without her. Nao Kao told me, “The family really took care of Lia
    and really cared for her too, but maybe she missed us too much and that
    is why she got sicker. We missed her too. I do not know how to describe
    how we missed her.” Foua said, “Our bed was empty without her. I loved
    her a lot and I had always held her during the night and didn’t let her
    sleep by herself. I cried every night when I got in the bed and she was not
    there.” Two months after Lia had been taken from her family, Nao Kao
    told the caseworker that he wanted to commit suicide if Lia did not come
    home. Four months after that, Nao Kao came home to find Foua pointing
    a knife at herself. He took the knife away. A month later, Jeanine Hilt’s
    case log noted that Foua was hysterical and threatening suicide again.
    Child Protective Services considered placing the entire family in a
    psychiatric hospital, but decided against it.

    Lia did not return home after six months, as the Lees had expected her
    to. On December 18, 1985, at the Six-Month Reunification Hearing, the
    court ruled that Foua and Nao Kao had failed to demonstrate their ability
    to comply with their daughter’s medical regimen. First, they had refused
    to sign a Social Services Plan that had been presented to them in August,
    which stated, among other things, that in order for reunification
    eventually to take place, the Lees must agree to “make and meet medical
    appointments for our child, including appointments for routine care and
    illness, and learn how to properly administer her medication.” A CPS
    worker wrote on the Plan, “Their feeling is that Lia should be returned to
    their care at once; consequently they declined to sign the agreement.”
    Second, when Lia had been permitted a week-long home visit in
    September as a test of her parents’ compliance, they had failed miserably.
    The CPS petition against reunification noted:

    The parents were again instructed, via interpreter, on the proper
    method of administering the medications. Color coded graphics
    were also utilized to reinforce the instructions. The parents stated
    they understood and indicated that they would follow through
    immediately. During this visit the parents were allowed to have
    the minor treated by a Shamin [sic] from the Hmong culture.
    Home calls by social workers were completed during the time the
    minor was at home and the medications were checked and it
    appeared as though the medications were being administered. The
    parents report no seizures. Lia was returned to the foster home on
    September 9, 1985 and was hospitalized later that day. Blood level
    checks revealed that no traces of any medications were found in
    the minor’s blood. Dr. Goel [Lia’s pediatrician at Emanuel
    Medical Center] stated that the parents did not give Lia any
    medicine as the medication remains in the body for at least ten
    days. The medication vials were returned empty by the parents.

    Jeanine Hilt wrote in her case log that when Lia returned to the Kordas,
    her chest was covered with coin-rubbing lesions. Foua and Nao Kao had

    obviously opted for traditional healing techniques and, as Jeanine noted,
    “trashed the meds.” Four days after this home visit, Lia had three grand
    mal seizures and six petit mal seizures, after which her developmental
    deficits became far more pronounced. The petition stated that

    language delays were noted, her motor skills regressed, she would
    not eat or maintain eye contact, and she engaged in repeated head-
    banging behavior. Lia also became encopretic [fecally
    incontinent], engaged in a variety of self-abusive behaviors such
    as scratching and biting, could not sleep, was abusive to other
    children, and lost all ability to recognize safe situations. These
    regressions were all related to the parents’ failure to administer
    the medication while Lia was in their care. These regressive
    behaviors have continued.

    Despite these setbacks, Jeanine Hilt was determined to try to continue
    to educate the Lees about Lia’s medications so that they could regain
    custody before twelve months elapsed and they legally lost her for good.
    Jeanine spent dozens of hours working with Foua. Her task was aided by
    the fact that Lia’s drug regimen was radically simplified in February of
    1986. Dee had taken Lia to Valley Children’s Hospital in Fresno for
    extensive neurological testing, where Terry Hutchison, a pediatric
    neurologist, reached a tentative diagnosis of Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome, a
    rare form of epilepsy characterized by mental retardation and several
    forms of hard-to-control seizures. Dr. Hutchison decided that Depakene,
    used alone, was the drug of choice. (Neil and Peggy had considered
    Depakene but had decided against it because it can cause liver failure;
    once Lia was started on it, they wished they had prescribed it
    themselves.) Pediatric Depakene is a liquid that tastes pleasantly of
    cherries, and it was far easier to administer than the complicated
    combinations of bitter ground-up pills Lia had previously been taking.
    Jeanine showed Foua how to use a plastic syringe to squirt the liquid into
    Lia’s mouth, placing a piece of masking tape at the 8-cc mark because
    Foua couldn’t read numbers. Foua practiced with water until she was

    proficient, then graduated to Depakene.
    Jeanine felt that Foua was slowly learning to trust her and was making

    good progress. She did not develop a similarly intimate relationship with
    Nao Kao, who continued to fear that Lia would never come home. He was
    wary of Jeanine, but he was not angry at her. His rage was reserved for
    Sue Xiong, the interpreter who had accompanied the CPS workers on the
    day of Lia’s original detention. Sue Xiong, a sophisticated, well-educated
    Hmong woman who had married an American, was not a popular figure
    in Merced’s traditional Hmong community. Intermarriage is rare among
    the Hmong. According to Jeanine Hilt, “Culturally Sue was pretty white,
    and she dressed real cute and was not at home having babies and
    sustaining the Hmong culture very well, so a lot of Hmong really saw her
    as selling out.” Sue Xiong once told Nao Kao that she had informed CPS
    she did not think he should get his daughter back. In February of 1986,
    when Lia was at Valley Children’s Hospital in Fresno, Nao Kao says Sue
    Xiong scolded him, and he became convinced that she was not accurately
    translating his statements to the doctors. The next day, back in Merced,
    Jeanine Hilt, Sue Xiong, and a CPS supervisor came to the Lee house.
    Nao Kao told me, “I was outside and Sue came inside and she called me
    and said, Come in here, you come in here. At that time, I was ready to hit
    Sue, and I got a baseball bat right there. My son-in-law was with me, and
    he grabbed me and told me not to do it. The supervisor and Jenny
    [Jeanine] asked what’s the matter, and my son-in-law translated what I
    was saying, and I said I did not like Sue and I was going to beat Sue to
    death right there that day. And then Sue said that she had a lot of work to
    do, so she left. I told the supervisor, This person is not good. Do not bring
    her here anymore. If you bring her here again, I’m going to get a gun and
    shoot her.” (When I called Sue Xiong to ask her about this incident, at
    first she told me—in the most elegant English I had ever heard a Hmong
    speak—that she could not recall either the argument or the Lee family,
    which I found surprising, since I knew that before she married her
    American husband she had been married to Nao Kao’s nephew. Finally
    she said, “The family didn’t appreciate my services, so I didn’t want to be
    involved anymore.”)

    It is a credit to Jeanine Hilt’s faith in the Lees that Sue Xiong’s near
    encounter with Nao Kao’s baseball bat did not permanently disqualify
    them from regaining custody of their daughter. The way Jeanine saw it,
    Nao Kao had plenty of reasons to be angry, and as long as he didn’t take
    out his anger in the form of medical noncompliance, it should not
    interfere with the reunification of his family. Starting on February 18,
    1986, the Lees were permitted to keep Lia for a series of overnight visits
    under Jeanine’s supervision. Blood tests showed they had administered
    adequate levels of Depakene. In the petition CPS filed at Lia’s Twelve-
    Month Reunification Hearing, Jeanine Hilt wrote:

    As the Lees’ skill increased, the visits were extended. The
    undersigned provided extensive supervision three times daily
    while the minor was in the home. Supervision decreased as the
    Lees demonstrated their willingness to maintain the medication
    regime…. The undersigned has worked with the Lees on
    maintaining a daily schedule including proper diet, naps, and
    discipline…. Mr. and Mrs. Lee are to be commended for their
    cooperation and positive efforts in working with the undersigned
    in spite of their divergent cultural beliefs. As a result of their hard
    work, trust in the physician [neurologist Terry Hutchison], and the
    undersigned, we have made incredible headway in resolving Lia’s
    serious medical problem.

    Lia returned home on April 30, 1986.

    8

    Foua and Nao Kao

    In 1988, during my first few weeks in Merced, seven doctors at the
    Merced Community Medical Center separately mentioned the case of Lia
    Lee to me, but each of them told me it was not worth investigating,
    because her parents mistrusted Americans and would almost certainly
    refuse to let me see Lia’s medical and legal records, or to talk with me
    themselves. Even if they agreed to meet me, I was assured that I would
    find them silent, obtuse, and almost pathologically lacking in affect.

    I was ready to be discouraged. Before I came to Merced, I had never
    met a Hmong, but I had received plenty of advice from anthropologists
    I’d read or consulted on what to do when I did: Don’t raise your voice.
    Take off your shoes. Don’t offer to shake hands with a man or people will
    think you’re a whore. If a man offers to shake hands with you, indicate
    your lower status by placing your left hand under your right wrist in order
    to support the weight of his honored and important hand. If you walk with
    a Hmong leader, stay behind him and to his left. Use an older male
    interpreter to compensate for your lack of status as a younger woman.
    Don’t ever say no to an offer of food, even if it’s chicken feet.

    It did not seem a promising sign that my friend Bill Selvidge, the
    doctor who had invited me to Merced to meet his Hmong patients, had
    bookshelves jammed with ethnographic monographs on the Ik, the !Kung,
    and the Palauans, but during his two years in Merced had never had an
    extended conversation with a Hmong over the age of fourteen, had never
    been invited inside a Hmong home, and had learned only one word of
    Hmong: mob (“it hurts”). If an anthropologically inclined Peace Corps
    veteran had made so little headway, how could I expect to get anywhere

    myself? Indeed, my first few Hmong encounters proved disastrous. It
    probably did not help that, mortally afraid of committing a faux pas, I
    was as jumpy as the legendary Hmong princess who, hiding inside a large
    funeral drum after an eagle as big as eleven houses had eaten everyone
    else in her village, mistook her handsome young rescuer for the eagle and
    told him, “If you have come to eat me, do it quickly, please!” Then she
    fainted. (Later, however, she married him.)

    My first meetings with Hmong families were set up by a Hmong-
    speaking lowland Lao woman who worked as a nurse’s aide at MCMC. It
    did not immediately occur to me that I had found the best possible way to
    guarantee myself a chilly reception, since almost all Hmong mistrusted
    the hospital and, concluding that I was associated with the nurse’s aide
    and therefore with MCMC, automatically mistrusted me too. I also had
    bad luck with my first two interpreters. Carefully following my advisers’
    instructions, I asked two middle-aged men in turn, each an important
    figure in his clan, to translate for me. My experiences with them were
    identical. I would ask a question. The interpreter would translate. The
    Hmong I was questioning would talk animatedly to the interpreter for
    four or five minutes. Then the interpreter would turn to me and say, “He
    says no.”

    I was beginning to fear that the Hmong community was impenetrable
    when I met Sukey Waller, the psychologist at Merced Community
    Outreach Services whom one doctor at MCMC had described as “a sort of
    hippie-ish revolutionary” and Bill had described as the American most
    locally respected by the Hmong. I had talked with Sukey by phone from
    New York City before I came to Merced. She had told me, “Here’s my
    home number. If you get my answering machine, you will find I speak so
    slowly it sounds as if I’m in the middle of a terrible depression or on
    drugs. Please don’t be alarmed. It’s just that I get a lot of calls from
    clients who can’t understand fast English.” Sukey’s business card read, in
    Hmong and Lao, “Fixer of Hearts.” She explained to me, “Psychological
    problems do not exist for the Hmong, because they do not distinguish
    between mental and physical illness. Everything is a spiritual problem.
    It’s not really possible to translate what I do into Hmong—a shaman is

    the closest person to a psychotherapist—but fixing hearts was the best
    metaphor I could find. The only danger is that they might think I do open-
    heart surgery. That would certainly make them run in the other
    direction.” Sukey introduced me to five Hmong leaders, representing four
    of the most influential of Merced’s fourteen clans, and, because I arrived
    at their homes and offices in her company, I was warmly received by
    each one. Two of them became irreplaceable sources and, over time,
    valued friends. When I asked Sukey why the Hmong community accepted
    her so readily, she said, “The Hmong and I have a lot in common. I have
    an anarchist sub-personality. I don’t like coercion. I also believe that the
    long way around is often the shortest way from point A to point B. And
    I’m not very interested in what is generally called the truth. In my
    opinion, consensual reality is better than facts.”

    Sukey quickly disabused me of two notions. One was that it was
    necessary to walk a razor’s edge of proper etiquette on either side of
    which lay catastrophe. She said matter-of-factly, “I’ve made a million
    errors. When I came here everyone said you can’t touch people on the
    head, you can’t talk to a man, you can’t do this, you can’t do that, and I
    finally said, this is crazy! I can’t be restricted like that! So I just threw it
    all out. Now I have only one rule. Before I do anything I ask, Is it okay?
    Because I’m an American woman and they don’t expect me to act like a
    Hmong anyway, they usually give me plenty of leeway.” She also
    punctured my burgeoning longing for an American interpreter. For one
    thing, she informed me that even though there were thousands of Hmong
    living in Merced, not a single American in town spoke Hmong. For
    another, in her opinion, someone who merely converted Hmong words
    into English, however accurately, would be of no help to me whatsoever.
    “I don’t call my staff interpreters,” she told me. “I call them cultural
    brokers. They teach me. When I don’t know what to do, I ask them. You
    should go find yourself a cultural broker.”

    So I found May Ying Xiong. May Ying was a twenty-year-old clerk-
    typist at the Merced County Office of Refugee Services. Her name means
    Opium Poppy. She was the girl whose father, Chaly Xiong, afraid that she
    would be eaten by lions if she took a summer job with the Youth

    Conservation Corps, had occasioned Dan Murphy’s lion-scouting trip to
    Yosemite. Chaly, who died in 1983, was a first lieutenant in the Royal
    Lao Army, one of the few Hmong military officers who had been trained
    in the United States by the CIA. He was also a famous txiv neeb who,
    while riding his wooden shaman’s bench, an embodiment of the winged
    horse that carried him in search of wandering souls, was renowned for
    shaking so hard during his ritual trance that it took two assistants to hold
    him. To complete May Ying’s distinguished résumé, she had at age
    eighteen been Second Runner-Up in the national Miss Hmong pageant,
    held annually in the Fresno Civic Auditorium, in which she had worn
    three formal costumes (one Hmong, one Lao, one American) and been
    judged on her poise, grace, beauty, and speaking ability. When asked, “If
    you were chosen to be Miss Hmong, what would you do to set an example
    for future young Hmong ladies?” May Ying had answered, “I would
    encourage children to go to school and young ladies not to get married
    too young.” One month later, she married an engineering student named
    Pheng Ly in a Hmong-American ceremony that involved the sacrifice of a
    chicken and the consumption of many bottles of Löwenbräu. May Ying
    took great pride in the fact that Pheng had paid her family the unusually
    high brideprice of $1,800; she in turn had contributed a dowry that
    consisted of a trust fund left by her father, a silver necklace, a silver belt,
    gold earrings, three embroidered skirts, two formal Hmong costumes, two
    pieces of embroidery embellished with antique French colonial coins, and
    a ’73 Ford Granada.

    Despite the admonitions of the seven doctors, I decided to try to meet
    Lia’s parents, bringing May Ying as my cultural broker. I figured that if
    she was the third-most-poised Hmong woman in the United States, she
    had as good a chance as anyone of being able to deal with the Lees.
    Despite May Ying’s impressive qualifications, she and I, by virtue of our
    gender and ages, constituted a decidedly low-status team. That turned out
    to be an advantage. I didn’t need more status in the Lee home. If
    anything, I needed less status. Ever since they had arrived in the United
    States, the Lees had been meeting Americans who, whether because of
    their education, their knowledge of English, or their positions of relative

    authority, had made them feel as if their family didn’t count for much.
    Being belittled is the one thing no Hmong can bear. When Laos was
    under French colonial rule, the Hmong were required literally to crawl
    whenever they were in the presence of a Lao official, forbidden to raise
    their heads until they were acknowledged. It is no accident that in one
    popular Hmong folktale, an arrogant official is turned into a mouse, upon
    which the tale’s hero, a Hmong archetype in the guise of a cat, takes
    delight in pouncing. With May Ying at my side, I was not an official, not
    a threat, not a critic, not a person who was trying to persuade the Lees to
    do anything they did not wish to do, not even someone to be taken very
    seriously. My insignificance was my saving grace.

    Meeting a Hmong is like getting into a speakeasy: everything depends
    on who sent you. My appointment with the Lees had been arranged by
    Blia Yao Moua, one of the Hmong leaders to whom Sukey had introduced
    me, a man fortuitously unconnected to the hospital or any other American
    institution. What’s more, May Ying’s husband, Pheng, belonged to the
    same clan as the Lees (Lee and Ly are differently spelled
    Americanizations of the Hmong surname Lis), which led Foua and Nao
    Kao to treat my cultural broker like a long-lost niece. Within thirty
    seconds, I could see I was dealing with a family that bore little
    resemblance to the one the doctors had described. The Lees struck me as
    smart, humorous, talkative, and energetic. I wish I could say that it was
    my skill as an interviewer that brought out these excellent qualities. In
    truth, I repeatedly embarrassed May Ying by asking her to translate
    questions of such surpassing ignorance that after I got to know the Lees I
    began to feel my primary role in their household was as a source of mirth.
    May Ying referred to these questions (“Did you bury your children’s
    placentas?” “In Laos, were there a lot of dabs who lived in the rivers,
    lakes, and trees?” “Do you sacrifice pigs?”) as my “Is the Pope
    Catholic?” questions because any fool would know the answers were yes.
    Once, when I asked in which part of their house in Laos the family had
    relieved themselves, Foua laughed so hard she almost fell off her bamboo
    stool. “In the forest, of course!” she finally gasped, tears running down
    her cheeks.

    The Lees were a good-looking couple. Foua looked about forty-five
    and Nao Kao about ten years older; they had never learned their birth
    dates. They were both short, and although neither was fat, they looked
    well-rooted, as if it would take a gale force wind, or maybe even an
    earthquake, to knock them over. Foua had glossy black hair that she
    usually wore in a bun, but sometimes she loosened it absent-mindedly
    while she was talking, and it unfurled to her waist. Nao Kao wore glasses
    with thick black frames that made him look intellectual and a little nerdy,
    like a teacher of an obscure branch of mathematics at a minor college.
    Except on special occasions, when they wore Hmong clothes, they both
    wore loosely fitting American outfits of pastel polyester. Sometimes
    Foua wore a long gray cotton skirt and a pink T-shirt, decorated with
    palm trees, that said CALIFORNIA, a word she of course could not read.

    When I first met Foua and Nao Kao, they had seven children still at
    home. The nine of them lived in a three-room apartment in a two-story
    stucco building south of the train tracks and west of the Kmart, in a
    down-at-heel neighborhood that twenty years ago was mostly Hispanic
    and now is mostly Hmong. Like most Hmong apartments, it contained
    hardly any furniture aside from a television set, which was usually on.
    There were no books. Hung close to the ceiling, to show respect, was a
    heterogeneous collection of family photographs and posters, including an
    outdated calendar from a Thai rice company, a Time-Life illustrated chart
    of Combat Jets of the World, and a picture of several dozen Smurfs
    gathered around a campfire. The bedroom shared by the older children
    was plastered with posters of U2, Bon Jovi, Whitesnake, and Mötley
    Crüe. The family’s most prized possession, a three-foot-long bamboo
    qeej that only Nao Kao knew how to play, was carefully mounted over the
    toilet. The most important part of the Lee home was the parking lot. It
    was there, in an overflowing collection of dozens of old five-gallon
    plastic buckets and discarded motor-oil cans, that Foua cultivated her
    personal pharmacopoeia of medicinal plants, which, boiled or ground in
    her mortar and pestle, were used to cure sore throats, stomachaches,
    sprained limbs, and postpartum pain, among other ailments.

    I was to spend hundreds of hours in this apartment, usually in the

    evenings, after May Ying got off work. Because Foua and Nao Kao could
    not read or write in any language, they were excessively interested in and
    therefore inhibited by note-taking, but they were entirely comfortable
    with a tape recorder. (Most Hmong in Merced communicated with
    relatives in Thai refugee camps via audiocassette. I could never decide
    whether this was incongruously high-tech or whether it was an organic
    extension of their preliterate oral tradition.) When addressing Foua, May
    Ying prefaced each question with the word pog, a title connoting both
    respect and intimacy that means, literally, “paternal grandmother.” After
    a few months, Foua started to address May Ying as mi May, dear little
    May, and me as mi Anne. At about the same time, at their request, I
    started calling Foua tais (maternal grandmother) and Nao Kao yawm txiv
    (maternal grandfather).

    The Lees unhesitatingly granted me access to all of Lia’s records at
    MCMC, Valley Children’s Hospital in Fresno, the Merced County Health
    Department, and Child Protective Services. After I read them, however, I
    quickly learned that it was not helpful to ask May Ying to relay such
    questions as “Can you tell me about the time Dr. Selvidge admitted Lia to
    MCMC with right upper lobe pneumonia on June 28, 1986, at 10:50
    p.m.?” The doctors’ diagnoses were untranslatable, and in any case they
    would have meant little to the Lees. Furthermore, Foua and Nao Kao
    lumped the dozens of health care providers they had encountered at
    MCMC under the generic heading of “Lia’s doctors.” Even Neil Ernst and
    Peggy Philp, who had met Lia’s family innumerable times, were
    relegated by their unshakably high status (and also perhaps, from a
    Hmong point of view, by their unpronounceability) to a category too
    distant to allow such intimacies as being called by name. The difficulty
    of establishing a parallel chronology between Lia’s medical chart and her
    family’s experience of her illness was compounded by the fact that the
    Lees did not tell time in the same way the hospital record-keepers did.
    Years were identified not by number but by salient event. For instance,
    1982 was “the year the spirit first caught Lia and she fell down” 1985 was
    “the year Lia became government property.” When they had lived in
    Laos, the Lees, like other Hmong, had subdivided the year not by the

    months of the Gregorian calendar but by lunar cycles designated by their
    primary agricultural activities. The first cycle, for example, which
    followed the Hmong New Year celebration in late November or early
    December, was the one during which rice and corn were hauled home and
    the opium harvest was begun. The fifth cycle was the one during which
    corn was planted. The twelfth cycle was the one during which rice was
    harvested and opium was weeded. Because the Lees were now
    unemployed welfare recipients rather than farmers, and each month’s
    activities (or their lack) were nearly identical to every other month’s,
    they no longer oriented themselves by the Hmong calendar and
    consequently often had trouble remembering when—even in what season
    —an event had occurred. But when they referred to times of the day, they
    continued to use the Hmong phrases (“first cock crow,” “second cock
    crow,” “time that the sun inclines,” “time that shadows cover the valley,”
    “pig-feeding time,” “full darkness”), even though no cocks or pigs had
    lived on East 12th Street within living memory of any resident of
    Merced.

    The Lees politely submitted to my questions about Lia, often
    answering at length, but they also had their own agenda, which, as Nao
    Kao once put it, was “to tell you about Hmong culture so you can
    understand our way and explain it to the doctors.” Their favorite time for
    these cultural lessons was about 10:30 p.m., after they’d gathered
    conversational steam for at least four hours. One night, just as May Ying
    and I were getting ready to leave, Foua decided to explain soul loss to me.
    “Your soul is like your shadow,” she said. “Sometimes it just wanders off
    like a butterfly and that is when you are sad and that’s when you get sick,
    and if it comes back to you, that is when you are happy and you are well
    again.” Nao Kao added, “Sometimes the soul goes away but the doctors
    don’t believe it. I would like you to tell the doctors to believe in our
    neeb.” (The word neeb, or healing spirit, is often used as shorthand for ua
    neeb kbo, the shamanic ritual, performed by a txiv neeb, in which an
    animal is sacrificed and its soul bartered for the vagrant soul of a sick
    person.) “The doctors can fix some sicknesses that involve the body and
    blood, but for us Hmong, some people get sick because of their soul, so

    they need spiritual things. With Lia it was good to do a little medicine
    and a little neeb, but not too much medicine because the medicine cuts
    the neeb’s effect. If we did a little of each she didn’t get sick as much, but
    the doctors wouldn’t let us give just a little medicine because they didn’t
    understand about the soul.”

    On another late-night occasion Nao Kao explained that the Hmong
    often got sick because of their encounters with malevolent dabs, but that
    the doctors didn’t understand this either and therefore failed to treat these
    patients effectively. “I will give you an example,” he said. “There is a
    man named Mr. Xiong, and he has a son who went to swim at Bear
    Creek.” Bear Creek is a small, muddy river that flows through Applegate
    Park, north of downtown Merced. “And while Mr. Xiong’s son was
    sleeping, the dab that lives in Bear Creek came up to him and talked to
    him and made him sick and restless and crazy. The doctors and nurses in
    Merced gave this young man shots and medicines, and the young man
    hated the doctors and nurses, because the only way to cure that kind of
    sickness is to sacrifice a dog, and this country won’t allow you to kill
    dogs.” Foua told me that a dab had caught her just the previous week at
    the county reservoir. She knew this had happened because after she
    returned home, she felt afraid, and when she closed her eyes, she could
    sense that a dab was near. She left all the lights on that night to frighten
    the dab away, and she did not become sick. (Several months later, I was
    to learn that Merced’s dabs were not confined to natural surroundings.
    Chong Moua, a Hmong woman who cleaned Bill Selvidge’s house once a
    week, told me that every Hmong in town knew about the dab who lived at
    the intersection of Highway 99 and G Street. This dab liked to cause
    accidents by making Hmong drivers fall asleep or making the cars of
    approaching Americans invisible.)

    The longer I spent with the Lees, the more firmly Foua took me in
    hand. She improved my manners by teaching me, via May Ying, how to
    say please and thank you in Hmong. When she learned that I occasionally
    got headaches, she gave me detailed instructions on how to treat them by
    rubbing an egg-covered coin up and down my body. I think she was
    disappointed that I never actually contracted a headache on her premises

    so that she could heal it then and there. “But you remember,” she said.
    “Next time, you do it the way I said.”

    When Foua had known me for almost a year, she decided to get me
    married. The Hmong have a phrase, “a flower full of honey and ready for
    the bee,” which is used to describe a marriageable girl of fifteen or
    sixteen. I was thirty-five, and had thus been ready for the bee for two
    decades. When my boyfriend visited me in Merced, Foua realized that
    she finally had an opportunity to do something about this appalling
    situation. Her plan, of which she did not inform me in advance, was to
    dress me as a Hmong bride, a transformation she was certain would
    render me irresistible.

    My makeover took place on a sweltering summer day. The
    temperature in the Lees’ bedroom must have been well over 100°. Out of
    a battered suitcase that she kept in the back of her closet, Foua extracted
    piece after piece of exquisite paj ntaub. (Paj ntaub, which means “flower
    cloth,” is a traditional Hmong textile art in which geometric or organic
    designs—spiderwebs, ram’s heads, tiger’s eyebrows, elephant’s feet—are
    worked in embroidery, batik, appliqué, and reverse appliqué. In Laos, a
    Hmong man was said to value two qualities most highly in a wife: her
    ability to sing poetry and her skill at paj ntaub.) Foua had made these
    clothes for her daughters. They constituted the lion’s share of the
    family’s wealth.

    Assisted by her fourteen-year-old daughter May, the oldest Lee girl
    still living at home, and by May Ying Xiong, Foua dressed me like a doll.
    I was completely at their mercy, since I had no idea which garment was
    coming next and, when it came, what part of my body it was supposed to
    adorn. First Foua picked up a phuam, a pink-and-black sash at least
    twenty feet long, and wound it around me like a ribbon around a maypole.
    Its function was the precise opposite of a girdle’s: it was supposed to
    fatten me up, to transform me into a healthy Hmong farm wife who
    looked capable of carrying heavy loads of rice. Then came the tiab, a
    pink, green, and yellow skirt with about five hundred accordion pleats,
    which, if it had been spread out, would have been wider than I was tall.
    Its cross-stitching was so fine it looked like beading. May Ying told me

    later that it had probably taken Foua the better part of two years to make,
    and that it would take her several hours to restitch threads through each
    of its pleats to prepare it again for storage. Over that went a pink brocade
    sev, a kind of apron, whose paj ntaub work was protected by an American
    refinement, a layer of plastic wrap. On my upper half I wore a blue-and-
    black jacket called a tsho (the same word as the Hmong term for
    “placenta,” one’s first garment) and four hnab tshos, pocketlike bags
    decorated with dangling silver coins, which were hung bandolier-style
    across my chest and weighed a ton. Around my neck went a five-tier
    necklace of hollow silver. Around my calves May Ying wrapped a pair of
    black puttees called nrhoob. And on my head Foua balanced the pièce de
    résistance, a kausmom, a pink, green, and yellow hat, bedizened with its
    own set of silver coins, that was shaped like a pagoda and jingled
    whenever I moved. Although I nearly died of heat prostration during the
    forty-five minutes it took Foua, May, and May Ying to wrestle all this
    stuff onto me, I felt for the first time in my not very fashionable
    adulthood that I understood the ritual pleasure of women gussying each
    other up and giggling like crazy in rooms to which men were forbidden
    entrance.

    While all this was taking place, my friend George was sitting in the
    air-conditioned living room, watching a boxing match on television with
    Nao Kao and wondering what I was doing. Neither he nor Nao Kao spoke
    a word of each other’s language, but they communicated in the universal
    language of male bonding by throwing punches in the air and making
    appreciative grunts. When I emerged from the bedroom, George was, in a
    word, stunned. He didn’t think I looked good, exactly. He told me later
    that I resembled Tom Kitten in “The Roly-Poly Pudding,” after Mrs.
    Whiskers ties him up and covers him with pie dough. However, Foua’s
    work must in some way have had the intended effect, because a week
    later George asked me to marry him. When we told Foua that we were
    engaged, she didn’t act in the least surprised.

    Later, when I complimented Foua on her beautiful needlework, she
    said matter-of-factly, “Yes, my friends are proud of me because of my
    paj ntaub. The Hmong are proud of me.” That is the only time I ever

    heard her say anything kind about herself. She was otherwise the most
    self-deprecating woman I had ever met. One night, when Nao Kao was
    out for the evening, she remarked, out of the blue, “I am very stupid.”
    When I asked her why, she said, “Because I don’t know anything here. I
    don’t know your language. American is so hard, you can watch TV all day
    and you still don’t know it. I can’t dial the telephone because I can’t read
    the numbers. If I want to call a friend, my children will tell me and I will
    forget and the children will tell me again and I will forget again. My
    children go to the store to buy food because I don’t know what is in the
    packages. One time when I went to the hospital I went to the bathroom,
    and the hall went that way and that way and that way and that way, and I
    didn’t know which way to go, and I couldn’t get back to where I was
    because too many sad things have happened to me and my brain is not
    good anymore.”

    When I suggested that I would have had at least as much trouble
    finding my way around her village in Laos as she had finding her way
    around MCMC, Foua said, “Maybe, but in Laos it was easy. I didn’t know
    how to do anything but farm.” Venturing that it couldn’t have been quite
    so easy as she claimed, I asked her to describe a typical day in
    Houaysouy, the village in the northwestern province of Sayaboury where
    the Lee family had lived. She tilted her head to one side for a moment,
    thinking. Then she said, “In the season when you have to tend to the rice
    fields, you get up at first cock crow. In the other seasons, you can wake
    up at second or third cock crow. Even at third cock crow it is before
    dawn, and it is dark, so the first thing you do is light a lamp. The lamp
    was like this.” Foua walked into the kitchen and came back holding the
    bottom three-quarters of a Mountain Dew can, which was filled with oil
    and had a homemade cloth wick. “In Merced, when the electricity goes
    out, we still use one like this,” she said.

    “First you cook the rice for your children,” she continued. “Then you
    clean the house with the broom you tied together yourself. After you are
    finished sweeping you go and cut wild grasses to give to the pigs, and you
    cut more for the cows, and you feed the pigs and the cows and the
    chickens. Then you walk to the fields. You carry the baby on your back,

    and if you have two children your husband carries one on his back too,
    and if you have a lot of children you can leave some of the smaller ones
    home with the big ones. Our parents grew opium, but we just grew rice,
    and also peppers, corn, and cucumbers. When it is planting time, first you
    make a hole in the ground like this.” She walked back to the kitchen and,
    after rummaging around for something with which to demonstrate to me
    the use of a dibble stick, returned with a cardboard tube that had once
    held a roll of paper towels, which she proceeded to stab at one-foot
    intervals into her living room’s brown wall-to-wall carpeting. “Like this.
    Then you put the seeds in the holes. You and your husband do it together.
    In other seasons you clear the fields and harvest the rice and thresh and
    winnow the rice and grind the corn.”

    At this point in her narrative, her daughter May walked in, wearing
    shorts, a T-shirt that said TIME FOR THE BEACH, and pink plastic earrings. May
    was three and a half when her family left Laos. She sat on the carpet at
    her mother’s feet and listened. “The farm place was far from where we
    lived,” said Foua, “farther than from here to Bear Creek. If you leave the
    farm when it is still light, it is dark by the time you get home. When you
    get home you go to the stream and carry the water for cooking and
    bathing in a barrel on your back.” Foua showed me how she had made the
    pack-barrel, gesturing with her fingers to illustrate how the bamboo was
    wrapped around the wooden staves. “You bathe the babies by boiling the
    water and then you pour it with a smaller bowl. The older children can
    bathe themselves. You bring corn for the chickens and you feed the pigs,
    and then you cook for your family. We usually just ate leftover rice from
    our first meal, with a little vegetables, because we ate meat only about
    once a month. You cook on the hot coals of the fire and you use the fat
    from the last pig you killed to fry with. The smoke just goes through
    spaces in the roof. After dinner you sew by the light of that lamp. In the
    fields you wear clothes that are old and dirty and ripped up, but the
    children have to have good clothes for New Year’s, so you sew for them
    at night.”

    I asked Foua to describe their house. “It is made of wood from the
    forest,” she said, “some wood as big as telephone poles. The thatching is

    bamboo. I helped build it. Our relatives helped us too, and then we help
    our relatives when they need a house. Our house is all one room but it is
    very nice. The floor is earth. If you want to sleep, you take some bamboo,
    you cut it open and split it into small pieces that are springy and make it
    into a bed. We sleep next to the fireplace where it is warm because we
    don’t have any blankets. My husband sleeps on one side holding a baby, I
    sleep on the other side holding another baby, and the older children keep
    each other warm.”

    While Foua was telling me about the dozens of tasks that constituted
    her “easy” work in Laos, I was thinking that when she said she was
    stupid, what she really meant was that none of her former skills were
    transferable to the United States—none, that is, except for being an
    excellent mother to her nine surviving children. It then occurred to me
    that this last skill had been officially contradicted by the American
    government, which had legally declared her a child abuser.

    I asked Foua if she missed Laos. She was silent for a few seconds,
    rocking back and forth on her low bamboo stool while her daughter
    looked at her, waiting curiously for her answer. Then she said, “When
    you think about Laos and about not having enough food and those dirty
    and torn-up clothes, you don’t want to think. Here it is a great country.
    You are comfortable. You have something to eat. But you don’t speak the
    language. You depend on other people for welfare. If they don’t give you
    money you can’t eat, and you would die of hunger. What I miss in Laos is
    that free spirit, doing what you want to do. You own your own fields,
    your own rice, your own plants, your own fruit trees. I miss that feeling
    of freeness. I miss having something that really belongs to me.”

    9

    A Little Medicine and a Little Neeb

    “When Lia came back,” recalled Nao Kao, “the car came up here and
    when the door opened, she just jumped up and ran into her home. Her
    sisters and brother were too happy to even do anything. Everyone just
    went out and hugged her. That night she was in our bed and we were so
    happy to have her sleeping by our side.”

    Looking over Lia’s sparse medical records from the spring and
    summer of 1986, around the time of her fourth birthday, Peggy Philp
    summed up the first few months after her return from foster care in three
    words: “Nothing interesting here.” The Lees would disagree. Neil and
    Peggy had previously spent hours recounting the details of medically
    complex periods in Lia’s history that Foua and Nao Kao had summarized
    for me in a few minutes; now the tables were turned, and a period that
    seemed uneventful from the doctors’ perspective was revealed, from the
    Lees’ perspective, to be one of the richest in her life.

    The first thing Foua and Nao Kao did after Lia returned was to
    celebrate her homecoming and bolster her health by sacrificing a cow. In
    Laos, most of the chickens, pigs, cows, and buffalos kept by Hmong
    families were reserved for sacrifices to propitiate ancestors or cure
    illnesses by offering the souls of the slaughtered animals as ransom for
    fugitive souls. Even families too poor to keep animals of their own were
    guaranteed occasional meat in their diets by being invited to neeb
    ceremonies performed by wealthier villagers. According to Dwight
    Conquergood, sacrifice is a sacred act performed with “respect and
    reverence.” He has written, “The souls of sacrificed animals are precious
    and vitally connected to human souls. Animals are not considered to be as

    far removed from the human species as they are in our world view….
    Since the bonding between the life-souls of the patient and sacrificed
    animal is so intimate, it is likened to souls being wedded together.” Eric
    Crystal, the coordinator of the Center for Southeast Asia Studies at U.C.
    Berkeley, takes an equally approbatory, if not quite so high-minded,
    view. “So what if some Hmong feel that they have to slaughter animals to
    make the proper kinds of sacrifices?” he once asked me rhetorically.
    “Why not? It happens because people usually mark religious events that
    are important to them by getting together with relatives, and it is very
    difficult in this world to get a whole bunch of relatives together, whether
    you are living in some village in Laos or in Manhattan, without giving
    them something to eat. So you sacralize the event. The whole animal is
    offered, and the whole animal is eaten. I mean the whole animal, ninety-
    eight percent of it, intestines and everything, in a very ecologically sound
    way. Americans toss away a huge amount of meat. We also kind of slip it
    under the rug that people actually have to kill animals to eat them.
    Indeed, it may be shocking to many Americans to find out that their
    $1.99-a-pound chicken breast actually had to get its throat cut in a
    processing plant. So Americans are real shocked if they find out that the
    Hmong are doing it right in their own houses.”

    During the last decade, shocked Americans have responded to the
    ritual killings performed by devotees of other religions by invoking legal
    sanctions. In Hialeah, Florida, animal rights activists and community
    leaders passed an anti-sacrifice ordinance in 1987 to prevent priests of
    the Afro-Cuban Santería faith from slaughtering animals, a practice one
    local resident said “blights the image of South Florida.” (The ban was
    overturned, but it took four years and a Supreme Court decision.) In Los
    Angeles, where followers of Santería and several other Hispanic sects
    were suspected of nailing cows’ tongues to trees and leaving entrails on
    sidewalks, an ordinance was passed in 1990 that made animal sacrifice
    punishable by a six-month prison term and a fine of up to $1,000. It is
    still on the books, though it is not currently being enforced. In Merced,
    almost every Hmong family I met sacrificed animals on a regular basis.
    In fact, a fourteen-year-old boy I knew, a member of the Moua clan, once

    complained that he hardly ever had enough free time on weekends
    because his parents made him attend so many of his relatives’ neeb
    ceremonies. Until the mid-nineties, however, most American residents of
    Merced had little idea what was going on, and no one seemed concerned
    that it might blight the image of Central California. “Well, I haven’t run
    into any sacrificial chickens,” Pat Lunney, the chief of police, told me
    with some amusement several years ago. “Sacrifices?” said Steve Nord,
    the city attorney. “Do they really do that?”

    The Hmong have a phrase, yuav paim quav, which means that the
    truth will eventually come to light. Literally, it means “feces will be
    excreted.” I knew it was only a matter of time before feces would be
    excreted on the subject of Hmong animal sacrifices, and indeed, in 1996,
    tipped off by local newspaper coverage of a dog sacrifice in Fresno, the
    residents of Merced began to realize that similar things might be taking
    place in their town. That the animals were killed quickly and cleanly—
    and, unlike the products of a meat-packing plant, were actually thanked
    for their services—failed to extenuate what seemed like aberrant
    behavior. The result was an ordinance banning the slaughter of livestock
    and poultry within city limits. For most Hmong, the need to heal sick
    family members far outweighed the claim of a mere law, so they paid no
    attention, and few neighbors were nosy enough to report them. However,
    rumors about the sparsity of dogs and cats on Merced’s south side, which
    had circulated sotto voce for several years, upped their volume.

    The rumors were false, but that did nothing to stop them. Dan Murphy
    told me where they had originated. “There was a small stove fire in a
    Hmong house here a few years back,” he said, “and one of the firemen
    opened the refrigerator. There was a roast pig in there. The fireman
    thought it was a dog, and he told his friends, and they told theirs, and
    instantly people were saying that the reason there aren’t so many strays
    around here anymore is that the Hmong are eating them all, and you’d
    better lock up your dog at night. Well, Dang Moua heard this.” Dang
    Moua is a local Hmong leader. “And he went and got the fire chief and
    brought him over to the house and opened the refrigerator and said, ‘This
    is a pig. Can’t your men tell the difference between a pig and a dog?’ And

    that should have settled it. But you know, it’s not as much fun to tell
    about the resolution of a story as it is to tell about the genesis, so that part
    didn’t get spread around very far.”

    The Hmong of Merced do not sacrifice dogs, which they know are
    protected by American law and custom—though some of them, like the
    victim of the dab of Bear Creek that Nao Kao told me about, may have
    wished that they could. They do, however, frequently sacrifice pigs and
    chickens, which they buy live from Hmong or American farmers. To
    sacrifice a cow, as the Lees did, is a rare and important event. It was the
    first time they had done so during their six years in the United States.
    Lia’s cow cost $300, a monumental sum for a family of nine who were
    living on $9,480 a year, plus food stamps. When I asked Nao Kao where
    the money had come from, he said, “Lia had her own money from the
    government.” It took me a moment to understand: he had bought the
    sacrificial cow with three and a half months’ worth of Lia’s Supplemental
    Security Income, a use to which federal disability assistance had probably
    never before been put.

    Because Nao Kao had no way of transporting a live cow to East 12th
    Street, he bought one from an American rancher who lived near Merced,
    had it slaughtered, and, with the help of some of his clansmen, cut it in
    pieces small enough to stuff into plastic garbage bags that fit on the floor
    and in the trunk of his cousin’s subcompact car. After they returned
    home, a txiv neeb performed the ritual chant that accompanied his
    journey to the realm of the unseen. During the chant, the cow’s severed
    head was sitting on the Lees’ front stoop, welcoming Lia’s soul. When I
    asked the Lees whether any American passersby might have been
    surprised by this sight, Foua said, “No, I don’t think they would be
    surprised, because it wasn’t the whole cow on the doorstep, only the
    head.” Nao Kao added, “Also, Americans would think it was okay
    because we had the receipt for the cow.”

    After the ceremonial portion of the neeb was complete, the Lees and
    their many invited relatives sat down and ate a large, festive meal of fried
    beef, boiled beef, a spicy ground-beef dish called laab, and a stew called
    kua quav. When I asked May Ying what kua quav was, she said, “It’s

    made out of cow’s intestines and the heart and the liver and the lungs, and
    you chop it up really fine, and there is a part that is what is inside the
    intestines, and you chop that up too. Then you boil it all up together and
    you put lemon grass and herbs in it. It has a really bad name when you
    translate it. I guess you could call it, oh, doo-doo soup.” (The literal
    translation of kua quav is liquid excrement.) “It’s a classic.”

    The celebratory mood of Lia’s first few days home began to dissipate
    as the Lees came to feel, more strongly with each passing week, that the
    child who had been taken from them had been returned in a damaged
    condition. According to May Lee, Lia had once been able to count in
    English and Hmong and knew all the tunes and lyrics of the traditional
    Hmong New Year’s songs. “Before the Americans took her away, Lia was
    really smart,” said Nao Kao. “If you came in the door, she would say
    hello and bring a chair for you. But after those months that she was
    government property, I don’t know what they did to her. Maybe they gave
    her too much medicine, or maybe she got sick because she missed us too
    much, because after that, when people come, it seems she does not know
    them, and she could only speak a little.” The Lees were under the
    impression that the court had returned Lia to them because foster care
    had made her sicker, clear evidence that her family’s care was superior.
    When I told Neil and Peggy this, they were surprised. They had also
    noted Lia’s worsening developmental deficits, but in their view her
    downward intellectual slide had begun before she was removed from
    parental custody, had been temporarily arrested by her regular drug
    regimen during foster care, and had then been seriously aggravated by the
    seizures she had had after her catastrophic week-long visit home in
    September 1985, during which her parents had failed to administer any
    medications. Neil and Peggy were even more surprised—and grieved—to
    learn that the Lees believed Lia had been taken from them in the first
    place not to safeguard her health but “because the doctors were angry at
    us” for being noncompliant, and wished to inflict punishment. And when
    I told them that Foua and Nao Kao, in their willingness to travel the
    middle road of “a little medicine and a little neeb,” viewed themselves as
    eminently reasonable and their doctors as incapable of compromise, Neil

    and Peggy shook their heads in puzzlement and consternation.”
    In order to keep Lia’s condition from deteriorating further, the Lees

    stepped up their program of traditional medicine. I had often heard
    doctors at MCMC complain that the Hmong seemed to care less than
    Americans did whether their sick children got better, since they spurned
    the hospital’s free medical care. Unbeknownst to their doctors, the
    Hmong actually took their children’s health so seriously that they
    frequently budgeted large fractions of their public assistance stipends or
    indebted themselves to relatives in order to pay for expensive services
    not covered by Medi-Cal. For example, the Lees spent $1,000 on amulets
    filled with sacred healing herbs from Thailand, which Lia wore
    constantly around her neck. They also tried a host of less costly but time-
    consuming therapies. Foua inserted a silver coin that said “1936
    Indochine Française” into the yolk of a boiled egg, wrapped the egg in a
    cloth, and rubbed Lia’s body with it; when the egg turned black, that
    meant the sickness had been absorbed. She massaged Lia with the bowl of
    a spoon. She sucked the “pressure” out of Lia’s body by pressing a small
    cup heated with ashes against her skin, creating a temporary vacuum as
    the oxygen-depleted air inside the cup cooled. She pinched Lia to draw
    out noxious winds. She dosed Lia with tisanes infused from the gleanings
    of her parking-lot herb garden. Finally, she and Nao Kao tried changing
    Lia’s name to Kou, a last-ditch Hmong remedy based on the premise that
    if a patient is called by a new name, the dab who stole her soul will be
    tricked into thinking that she is someone else, and the soul can return.
    According to Foua, this plan was foiled because Lia’s doctors persisted in
    calling her Lia, thus ruining the subterfuge.

    The Lees’ most ambitious act of healing was taking Lia to visit a
    famous txiv neeb in Minnesota. “We had heard this txiv neeb was very
    special because he can fix people and he gives good medicines,”
    explained Nao Kao, in the deferential tones of someone describing a
    distinguished specialist he has gone to great trouble and expense to
    consult at the Mayo Clinic. “When this txiv neeb was younger he had
    gotten sick himself with the same thing as Lia, where the spirit catches
    you and you fall down. For the Hmong people, they usually get that kind

    of sickness before they become a txiv neeb, and maybe when Lia was
    grown up, that would have happened to her too, and she would be a txiv
    neeb. This txiv neeb was also a member of the Lee clan, so that is why we
    took Lia to Minnesota.”

    Nao Kao, one of his brothers, one of his grown daughters, his son-in-
    law, and Lia spent three days driving to Minnesota. “We rested one night
    in Salt Lake City and one night in Wyoming,” said Nao Kao, “and then
    we took another day to get to Nebraska and then we took the whole night
    from Nebraska to get to Minnesota. We just stopped to get gas. I only
    drove for three hours in Wyoming because Lia kept trying to hug me, so I
    couldn’t drive, so someone else drove and I just held her.” He did not
    remember where the txiv neeb had lived, but recalled that it was several
    hours beyond St. Paul. “The txiv neeb tied spirit-strings around Lia’s
    wrist and gave her some green medicine from roots and things like that.
    Some of it was boiled and you drink the juice and some of it you boil
    until it crystallizes and it gets really sticky, and after it dries you eat it.”
    The three family members who had accompanied them stayed in
    Minnesota with relatives, and Nao Kao, again using SSI money, flew
    home with Lia, filled with optimism about her future well-being.

    Once I asked Bill Selvidge why Merced’s doctors never seemed to ask
    their Hmong patients how they treated their illnesses, and he replied that
    because the Hmong dressed at least approximately in American clothes,
    had driver’s licenses, and shopped in supermarkets, it never occurred to
    his colleagues—and only rarely to him—that they might practice esoteric
    healing arts. “If you went down to the rain forest and talked to the
    Yanomamo,” he said, “you’d be surprised if they didn’t come up with all
    sorts of fantastic spirit stories. You’d be surprised if they sat there and
    started saying, you know, ‘Where is the penicillin for my impetigo?’ But
    if you took them to this setting, the way the Hmong have come here, and
    you dressed them up and they drove a car and came to MCMC, you
    wouldn’t expect to hear those spirit stories anymore.”

    Neil and Peggy had no idea what the Lees were doing to heal Lia
    because they never thought to ask. The only American who did ask, and
    who therefore learned of the $1,000 amulets and at least some of the

    animal sacrifices, was Jeanine Hilt. I would have expected the Lees to
    focus the most burning rays of their resentment on Jeanine, an official
    representative of the very agency that had confiscated their daughter. On
    the contrary, the Lees chose to categorize her not as Lia’s abductor but as
    her patron, “the person who gave Lia her disability money.” Aside from
    Dee Korda, Jeanine was the only American I talked to who didn’t
    describe the Lees as closemouthed and dim; not coincidentally, she was
    also the only American I ever heard Foua or Nao Kao refer to by name.
    They called her Jenny. She responded by learning the names of all eight
    of Lia’s siblings: Chong, Zoua, Cheng, May, Yer, True, Mai, and Pang.
    Compared to the Olympian Drs. Ernst and Philp, who never volunteered
    their first names, Jeanine seemed warm and unpretentious. Even her size
    —five feet one and comfortably rounded—was closer to the Hmong
    scale. Neil and Peggy were respectively six two and five nine, and
    seemed even taller because they had such perfect posture. Jeanine also
    had more success keeping the lines of communication snarl-free, partly
    because, as a social worker, she was able to make house calls. (In all their
    years of dealing with the Lees, Neil never visited their home and Peggy
    visited only once.) She took the sensible step of using May, the Lees’
    most Americanized daughter, as her interpreter. Not only was May’s
    English excellent—like my interpreter, May Ying Xiong, she had learned
    it in an American high school, so her grammar and vocabulary were
    superior to those of almost any Hmong adult—but after Jeanine left, Foua
    and Nao Kao were able to ask May, as often as was necessary, “Explain
    what Jenny said again.”

    Jeanine’s empathy for the Lees may have been deepened by two
    factors: she understood what it was like to live with a chronic illness,
    because she had severe asthma herself; and she admired the closeness of
    Hmong families, because her relations with her own family, who were
    fundamentalist Christians, had been strained for many years, ever since
    they had learned she lived with a lesbian partner. She had no children of
    her own. Unlike the MCMC nurses who considered Lia a burden and a
    pest, Jeanine thought she was a delightful child. “I just totally fell in love
    with her,” Jeanine recalled. “Lia wasn’t your typical kid that would play

    appropriately with toys and, you know, do all the right things. She was
    like a little blowfly flitting about, just totally out of control and wild and
    unsocialized but—well, absolutely adorable. Physically, I found her a
    very attractive child. She was real cute and real huggable. I mean, this kid
    could give you a hug like no other kid could. She would climb into your
    arms and sit in your lap and just give you a terrific bear hug and grab
    your glasses and pinch your cheeks until they hurt.”

    Jeanine’s involvement in Lia’s case rapidly escalated from a
    professional assignment to an obsession. A typical Hilt letter, written
    with cheerful officiousness to Judith Eppley, a counselor at a regional
    agency for the developmentally disabled:

    RE: Lia Lee

    Dear Judy,
    Please forward, to me, copies of all psychological, neurologicals,
    assessments, evaluations, reports, work-ups, impressions, studies,
    reviews, ruminations, appraisals, opinions, etc. on the above
    named minor. I hope that covers it. Thanks for your help!

    Sincerely,
    Jeanine Hilt
    Social Worker

    In Neil’s opinion, Jeanine was “a large pain in the ass.” He remembered
    innumerable times when she had nagged him for information about Lia or
    for prescriptions for medical equipment he considered unnecessary, such
    as an electronic digital thermometer that she hoped to teach Foua to use,
    with May’s help in reading the numbers. Whatever she requested was
    always needed “immediately” and at no cost to the Lees. “Jeanine took on
    the Lees like a crusade,” said Neil. “She always wanted to be notified
    about any change in Lia’s condition, and, my God, it wasn’t like we
    didn’t have six billion other things that we had to think of. If you forgot
    to call her she’d read you the riot act. I think she had trouble

    understanding that Lia was just one of hundreds or thousands of patients
    that we took care of and we couldn’t drop everything and do exactly what
    she wanted. But it was a double-edged sword. She was good, too. Jeanine
    was an incredible patient advocate. There was nothing she wouldn’t do
    for this kid.”

    One of the things Jeanine arranged was to have Lia bused three days a
    week to the Schelby Center for Special Education, the county school for
    retarded and disabled children. She hoped that Schelby would help
    socialize Lia as well as giving Foua an occasional respite. Lia’s teacher,
    Sunny Lippert, recalled, “Lia was very spoiled. Jeanine Hilt told us the
    family felt that she talked to the gods during her seizures and that they
    had this euphoric idea that she was a princess. They fixed her special
    things to eat, and whatever she wanted, they did. If she raised her arms
    her mother would carry her through the house. She got rather chubby, and
    the more she sat around and let people do things for her, the heavier she
    got. She was a beautiful child. Her mother just groomed her until she was
    immaculate. Lia could charm the hair right off a dog. She was the type
    you’d just want to pick up, but I had a rule in my room: No one could pick
    up Lia. Of course, as soon as she went home, her family kept right on
    catering to her.”

    Believing that Lia’s behavioral problems stemmed partly from a lack
    of daily structure, Jeanine posted the following on the Lees’ wall:

    Lia’a Schedule

    7 – Wake-up
    Breakfast
    Bath

    8 – Meds
    Leave for school

    1 – Home from school

    2 – Meds

    Nap

    4 – Playtime

    6 – Dinner

    7 – Bath
    Pyjamas

    8 – Meds
    Bed

    Despite May’s help in reading it, this schedule never fully took hold,
    partly because of Foua’s and Nao Kao’s orientation to the cock-crow
    system rather than to the clock. Another fruitless effort was a list of
    instructions about how to administer Tylenol and Valium to prevent
    febrile seizures when Lia spiked a temperature. Jeanine went to great
    trouble to have it translated into swirly Lao script, failing to realize that
    no one in the Lee family spoke or read Lao. But in her most important
    goal—persuading the Lees to administer Lia’s medicine—Jeanine
    achieved a stunning success. Blood tests showed that Lia was regularly
    maintaining a therapeutic level of Depakene. During her first four months
    at home, she had only one seizure, her best record since infancy. Jeanine
    attributed this period of unusual health to the Depakene; the Lees
    attributed it to the successful intervention of the txiv neeb in Minnesota.

    In September of 1986, Lia fell off a swing at the Schelby Center, hit
    her head, and went into status epilepticus, the condition, dreaded by all
    her doctors, in which her seizures, instead of spontaneously resolving
    after a few minutes, continued one after another with no intervals of
    consciousness. It was unclear whether Lia fell because she seized or
    whether she seized because she fell, but in any case, when she was taken
    to the hospital, she was found to have adequate levels of Depakene in her
    bloodstream. Parental noncompliance, for once, was manifestly not a
    factor. Nao Kao’s diagnosis was that “the teacher made her drop from the
    swing and when she fell she was scared and her soul went away too, so

    she got sick again.” In Lia’s MCMC admission summary, her medical
    history was noted to be “complicated” and her social history to be “very
    complicated.”

    Neil remembers this admission, Lia’s fourteenth stay at MCMC, to be
    the most harrowing she had ever had. “She’d been doing real well—real,
    real well—and then came this unbelievable set of problems. She had a
    bad seizure, all of this food crap started coming out of her mouth and she
    aspirated a lot of it into her lungs, she went into respiratory failure, she
    couldn’t breathe for herself so we had to intubate her, then the breathing
    tube caused some local irritation of the trachea, so after we pulled it out
    she started breathing with a lot of difficulty and we had to reintubate her,
    and then she got this very unusual infection of the airway from the
    irritation. The parents had to go along with a lot of stuff, an oxygen mask,
    lots of IVs, blood work, an arterial line to measure the oxygen and carbon
    dioxide in her blood, real invasive stuff.” Nao Kao remembered this as
    the time when Lia “had a lot of plastic all over her.” He or Foua slept by
    Lia’s side every one of the fourteen nights she spent in the hospital. He
    recalled, “The doctors made Lia stay so long in the hospital, and it just
    made her sicker and sicker.”

    Neil and Peggy co-authored an article in the Pediatric Infectious
    Disease Journal, called “Bacterial Tracheitis Caused by Branhamella
    catarrhalis,” about Lia’s tracheal infection. “Lia got published!” is how
    Neil put it when he showed me the article several years later. In it, they
    wrote:

    Our case clearly demonstrates that this agent [B. catarrhalis] has
    the potential for being an opportunistic infection in the
    compromised respiratory tract of a pediatric patient. Our patient’s
    hospital-acquired infection was most probably the result of a local
    injury to the trachea from a cuffed endotracheal tube and from
    alteration of oral bacterial flora with intravenously administered
    penicillin.

    Not every doctor would choose to publicize a nosocomial, or hospital-

    acquired, infection, especially if, as was the case here, it was he rather
    than an inexperienced resident who had been responsible for inflicting the
    “local injury.” When I read the article, I was struck, as I had often been
    before, by how much more interested Neil and Peggy were in the truth
    than in making themselves look good. I was also struck by the fact that
    Nao Kao was absolutely right: the hospital had made Lia sicker.

    Only three weeks after Lia was discharged, she was admitted again,
    despite adequate levels of medication, with severe seizures and fever.
    Neil and Peggy were horrified. “I had been really impressed that she was
    having such good control with the Depakene,” recalled Neil, “and then
    she had two seizures within a month and I said, Oh God, here we go
    again. The Depakene is not working! I couldn’t think of any good way to
    keep her seizures from getting worse. I remember we thought about
    putting her under anesthesia to stop her shaking the next time she came
    in, so we could at least get an IV in. And I remember Dan Murphy and I
    had a few conversations about whether we should try surgery, to try to
    cauterize part of Lia’s brain. I really didn’t know what to do. I was just
    grabbing at straws.”

    Peggy said, “The seizures were getting very, very long. Before,
    sometimes they used to stop on their own, but these didn’t. It seemed like
    it took more medication to stop them, and we were afraid that one day we
    were going to try to get in an IV and just not be able to do it, because Lia
    was so fat and because we’d already cut down so many of her veins. If
    she seized long enough she was going to gork her brain out. Early that fall
    we started to get this feeling of doom. We talked about it a lot. It was
    hard to imagine that the Lia era would ever be over, but I remember
    thinking it was going to be. We were just waiting for the big one.”

    Neil said, “I felt like there was this giant snowball that was coming
    down the mountain and we were trying to hold it up there and it just kept
    pushing us. I remember talking to the parents and telling them that Lia’s
    seizures were getting worse and more frequent and that someday she
    might have one we couldn’t stop. It was so haunting. I started to have
    nightmares that it was going to happen, and I would be the one on call,
    and I couldn’t stop it and she was going to die right before my eyes. It

    was inevitable. It was just a matter of when.”

    10

    War

    A folktale collected in 1924 by François Marie Savina, the French
    missionary, reports that when the Hmong lived in the primordial northern
    homeland where the days and nights were six months long, they were
    once involved in a land dispute with some neighboring tribes. Their king
    resolved it as follows. Each tribe would select an envoy who would walk
    as far as he could during the six months between sunset to sunrise,
    returning to the king’s golden palace at the end of his journey. All the
    territory he covered would belong to his tribe. If one of the envoys failed
    to reach the palace, his tribe would be commanded to live wherever he
    stood at the moment the sun rose. At daybreak, the Hmong envoy was
    standing on a high pinnacle, and this is why, ever since then, the Hmong
    have always lived in the mountains, where they are the first to see the sun
    rise and the last to see it set.

    If that footsore walker had ended up standing on the plains instead,
    the fate of the Hmong would have been entirely different. Almost every
    aspect of the tribe’s history and character proceeds from the essential fact
    that they are montagnards. As a Hmong proverb puts it, “Fish swim in the
    water; birds fly in the air; the Hmong live in the mountains.” The Hmong
    language has dozens of terms for mountains of different shapes, different
    slopes, different elevations. “Ask a Miao [Hmong] the name of his
    country of origin,” wrote Savina, “and he will answer with the name of a
    mountain. Such-and-such is the mountain where I was born, he will say.
    Ask him where that mountain happened to be, and he will indicate
    whether it was to the north, the south, the east, or the west, instead of
    telling you whether it was in China, in Tonkin, or in Laos.” When a

    Hmong was obliged to descend to the lowlands, Savina observed, he
    could easily be identified by his peculiar gait. “Accustomed to
    frequenting steep, rocky paths…he would forget he was walking on a
    smooth, flat road, and he would raise his foot too high with each step, as
    if he were climbing a staircase or feared he were going to trip. On the
    plain, a Miao was as much out of his element as a sailor on dry land.”

    In prewar Laos, the various ethnic groups were as stratified as a
    pousse-café. The Lao lived in the plains. The Karen and the Khmu lived
    above the altitude of 50 meters. The Mien lived above 400 meters. “And
    finally,” wrote Father Jean Mottin, “at the highest altitudes for the people
    of these regions, between 1,000 and 2,000 meters if it is possible, live the
    Hmong. Seek among the highest and most inaccessible mountains and
    there you will find them, for it is there they find themselves at home!”
    The lowland Lao may have been richer, more numerous, and politically
    more powerful, but the Hmong, peering down at their putative masters
    like eagles looking at mice, always managed to maintain an unbudgeable
    sense of superiority. As it had in China, their ethnic identity remained
    pure. Assimilation was easy to resist because their contacts with the
    dominant culture were so few. They rarely visited the plains, which they
    called “the land of leeches,” believing—with some justification, given
    the greater incidence of tropical diseases at low elevations—that doing so
    would make them sick. No one passed through their territory en route to
    anywhere else. And although they were occasionally visited by
    Yunnanese traders bringing silver, cloth, thread, shoes, and cooking pots,
    they were able to keep trade to a minimum because they were so self-
    sufficient. They produced all their own food as well as all the fodder for
    their livestock. Using homemade flintlock rifles, or crossbows made of
    wood, bamboo, and hemp, they hunted birds, rats, monkeys, gibbons,
    deer, wild pigs, and tigers. They fished the mountain streams. They
    gathered fruits, greens, wild mushrooms, tubers, and bamboo shoots.
    They picked slow-moving grasshoppers from the undersides of leaves in
    the early morning cold, and roasted them. They tied chicken feathers
    around the thoraxes of bees, followed them back to their hives, smoked
    out the bees, removed the honey, picked out the bee larvae, and steamed

    them. When they got thirsty in the forest, they plucked large upturned
    leaves shaped like dishes and drank the dew.

    In the Hmong language, there are hundreds of lyrical two-word
    expressions—not the stuff of poetry but of everyday speech—that
    onomatopoeically describe various sounds. These alliterative expressions,
    collected by the linguist Martha Ratcliff, give some inkling of the
    intimate relationship the Hmong of Laos had with the natural world.
    Some samples: zuj ziag, a cicada singing; lis loos, bees buzzing; nplhuj
    nplhoos, a boar grunting; mig mog, tigers playing; ig awg, wild pigs
    fighting in close combat; txij txej, a rat or mouse crying out in a snake’s
    mouth; xuj xuav, a snake undulating; txiv txev, birds chirping; rhuj rhuav,
    birds shuffling through leaves looking for insects; plig plawg, a bird
    rising from its nest on the ground; zig zuag, monkeys swishing through
    the treetops with a continuous noise; tsig tsuag, monkeys leaping through
    the treetops with separate noises; nruj nreev, a tree popping fast before it
    falls; nrhuj nrhawv, a tree popping slowly before it falls; vig vag, a tree
    brushing through other trees and underbrush while it falls; nqaj nqug,
    many trees falling one right after another; pij pauj, fruit falling on the
    ground; pliv ploov, fruit falling in water; xuj xuav, a long, easy, all-day
    rain.

    Like most people who live close to the land, the Hmong were farmers.
    Foua Yang once told me that everyone in her village did the same work,
    so no one was more important than anyone else. There was no class
    system. Since no one knew how to read, no one felt deprived or
    inconvenienced by the lack of literacy. Everything the next generation
    needed to know was passed on orally and by example: how to venerate
    the ancestors, how to play the qeej, how to conduct a funeral, how to
    court a lover, how to track a deer, how to build a house, how to embroider
    a skirt, how to butcher a pig, how to flail a load of rice.

    Although they harvested enough rice, corn, and vegetables for their
    own needs, the only crop the Hmong could indisputably grow better than
    the lowland Lao, because it was specifically suited to the cool
    temperatures and alkaline soils of the highlands, was the opium poppy.
    There is, of course, a legend about it. Once, long ago, there was a wanton

    Hmong beauty whose libertinage led to her early death. From her grave
    grew a flower. Its pod exuded a sap whose fragrance enabled anyone who
    inhaled it to reexperience the ecstasy her lovers had once enjoyed.
    Through the medium of dreams, she initiated her posthumous acolytes
    into the mysteries of opium cultivation and preparation. The dreams must
    have been highly instructive, for ever since the end of the eighteenth
    century, when the British East India Company introduced the opium
    poppy to China, the Hmong have been master opium growers, drawn
    willy-nilly into an international trade they neither created nor controlled.
    In Laos, the French colonial government encouraged them to pay their
    taxes in raw opium in order to supply the official lowland network of
    government-licensed opium dens. The Hmong complied with ease. They
    knew how to choose the best soil for growing opium by tasting it for its
    lime content. They knew how to broadcast the poppy seeds in cornfields
    so the young plants would be protected by the corn stalks. They knew
    how to incise the pods with triple-bladed knives (cutting neither so deep
    that the sap dripped to the ground nor so lightly that it was trapped inside
    the pods), wait until the extruded sap coagulated and turned brown,
    scrape it, wrap it in poppy petals or banana leaves, knead it, and form it
    into bricks. My Hmong dictionary lists twenty-nine terms related to
    opium cultivation and smoking, from riam yeeb (the knife used to score
    the pods) to yeeb tseeb (the needlelike tool used to hold the wad of opium
    while preparing it for smoking). Surprisingly few Hmong aside from the
    chronically ill and the elderly were addicts. Opium was reserved mainly
    to facilitate the ceremonial trances of txiv neebs; to dull the pain of
    headaches, toothaches, snakebites, and fever; to stanch diarrhea; and to
    ease the discomforts of old age. Young addicts, most of whom were men,
    shouldered a heavy burden of shame. Stigmatized by their diminished
    ability to work, they not only had trouble finding brides themselves but
    blackened the marital prospects of their brothers and cousins.

    The Hmong kept less than ten percent of their opium yield for their
    own use, and sold the rest. It was their only cash crop. One could hardly
    invent a more perfect commodity for mountain transport: easily portable,
    immune to spoilage, and possessing a stratospherically high value-to-

    weight ratio. One kilogram of opium was worth as much as half a ton of
    rice. The saddlebags of a single modest caravan of ponies, led by a
    lowland merchant, could carry a village’s entire annual output of crude
    opium bricks. The Hmong accepted no paper currency for their opium,
    only silver bars or piasters, which they melted down to make jewelry or
    hoarded for brideprices. Opium production equaled wealth. No wonder
    that when Christian missionaries first came to Laos, they often found
    small, meticulously wrapped balls of opium in their offering plates. No
    wonder that the parents of my interpreter believed that May Ying—
    Opium Poppy—was the most beautiful name they could give their
    daughter.

    The Hmong grew their opium, as they grew their rice and corn, as a
    slash-and-burn crop. (The more polite agricultural term is “swidden.”) In
    the dry season the women cut away the forest underbrush with knives,
    and the men felled the trees with axes. Then the men sprinted down the
    hillsides, igniting the piles of vegetation with torches. The flames often
    rose four hundred feet in the air, and the swirling smoke could be seen for
    miles. When the charred brush had cooled enough to touch, entire
    families worked together to clear the debris before they planted, leaving
    only boulders and tree stumps. Swidden farming required no plowing, no
    irrigation, no terracing, no fertilizing. The topsoil was briefly enriched by
    the wood ashes, but four or five years of monsoons washed it away, and
    the remaining soil was so exhausted that twenty years could pass before it
    was once again productive. In the 1950s, it was estimated that the Hmong
    of Laos were burning about four hundred square miles of land a year and,
    by letting the topsoil leach away, causing enough erosion to alter the
    courses of rivers. Opium was a particularly egregious offender, since
    instead of eventually reforesting like rice swiddens, old opium swiddens
    became covered in a coarse grass called imperata, which even animals
    refused to eat.

    The practice of swidden farming is inextricably intertwined with the
    migrant identity of the Hmong. The residents of a village would farm the
    contiguous land, abandon it in a few years when the soil became depleted,
    farm the land within walking distance, abandon that, build overnight

    shelters in order to farm even more distant land, and then, finally, move
    the entire village. Like Elizabeth I of England, who scheduled her
    progresses from castle to castle in the pre-plumbing era by departing
    whenever the smell became unbearable, the Hmong moved when a
    village’s accumulation of garbage and animal feces grew unpleasant or
    began to make people sick. If a village got overcrowded, extended family
    groups sometimes established satellite villages nearby. Hmong houses—
    split bamboo or wooden planks lashed together with ropes and sinews—
    were designed to be easily dismantled, portaged, and reassembled.
    Hmong arts were portable too: no monumental sculpture; highly evolved
    textiles, jewelry, music, and storytelling. Because they always moved in
    groups rather than as individuals, their clan structure, their religion, and
    their cultural identity accompanied them wherever they went,
    constituting an essential sense of “home” that inoculated them against
    perpetual homesickness.

    The life of the swidden migrant bespoke a certain prodigal faith in the
    earth’s inexhaustible abundance, the confidence that if one field lost its
    fertility, one village its health, or one region its plenty, no matter: as the
    Hmong proverb declared, “There’s always another mountain.” It was not
    a lazy attitude. Moving is difficult. When the Hmong left China for
    Indochina, they had committed themselves to migration as a problem-
    solving strategy on the most arduous scale they could imagine, and in the
    1960s and 1970s, when Laos became a battleground for the Vietnam War,
    they found themselves repeating the process yet again, even more
    drastically, first within the nation’s borders and eventually far beyond
    them.

    In 1961, King Savang Vatthana of Laos, a well-meaning but sinewless
    intellectual who traced his lineage to the eighth century, quoted Proust,
    and drove an Edsel, lamented, “Our country is the most peaceful in the
    world…. At no time has there ever arisen in the minds of the Lao people
    the idea of coveting another’s wealth, of quarreling with their neighbors,
    much less of fighting them. And yet, during the past twenty years, our
    country has known neither peace nor security…. Enemies of all sorts
    have tried to cross our frontiers, to destroy our people and to destroy our

    religion and our nation’s aura of peace and concord. Foreign countries do
    not care either about our interests or peace; they are concerned only with
    their own interests.”

    The Geneva Accords of 1954, signed after the French lost the battle of
    Dien Bien Phu, had recognized three independent states in what had
    formerly been French Indochina: Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam, which
    was temporarily partitioned into northern and southern zones that were
    supposed to be reunited within two years. Laos was to be neutral. But this
    economically piddling backwater, which in 1960 had one stoplight in its
    capital and only three million dollars of exports (not counting opium),
    was cursed by its strategic location. With Thailand and Burma to the
    west, Vietnam to the east, and Cambodia to the south—all of them
    stronger and more populous, and none of them walled off by natural
    barriers—Laos was unlikely to stay neutral for long. Aided by the
    Vietminh, Ho Chi Minh’s North Vietnamese military forces, the
    communist Pathet Lao became entangled in a protracted struggle with the
    anticommunist Royal Lao government for control of the country.

    At this point the United States, which had provided covert training to
    the Royal Lao army since 1955, stepped up its involvement. “It may seem
    incredible in retrospect,” wrote Clark Clifford, adviser to presidents
    Truman, Kennedy, Johnson, and Carter, in his memoirs, “but [President
    Eisenhower] considered the fate of that tiny, landlocked Southeast Asian
    kingdom the most important problem facing the U.S.” In 1961, on his last
    day in office, Eisenhower told Presidentelect Kennedy that if Laos were
    to fall to communism, it would be only a matter of time before South
    Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and Burma fell too. Kennedy agreed.
    There was only one problem. At the Geneva Conference of 1961–62, the
    United States, the Soviet Union, North and South Vietnam, and ten other
    nations agreed to a new set of accords in which they reaffirmed the
    neutrality of Laos and promised not to send in “any foreign troops or
    military personnel.”

    This is where the Hmong entered the picture. The United States was
    anxious to support an anticommunist government in Laos and to cut the
    military supply line that the North Vietnamese ran to South Vietnam

    along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, a complex of roads and pathways in
    southeastern Laos, near the Vietnam border. But how could it intervene
    while maintaining at least the appearance of legitimacy? Without
    violating the accords, American troops might be able to go to Vietnam,
    but not to Laos.* The answer was to fight a war by proxy. Kennedy cut the
    Gordian knot by dispatching a cadre of CIA advisers—not “foreign
    troops” themselves, though in retrospect it is clear that they were
    “military personnel”—who recruited, trained, and armed a secret
    guerrilla army of Hmong soldiers. Subsequently supported by the
    Johnson and Nixon administrations, the Hmong Armée Clandestine
    eventually came to number more than 30,000. Its soldiers fought the
    ground war, flew combat missions, directed air strikes by Air America
    pilots, rescued downed American flyers, were dropped by helicopter and
    parachute to fight behind enemy lines, gathered intelligence on the
    movements of Pathet Lao and North Vietnamese troops, sabotaged roads
    and bridges, planted electronic transmitters in enemy units to pinpoint
    their locations for bombing raids, and intercepted matériel on the Ho Chi
    Minh Trail.

    At its peak, the Armée Clandestine was the biggest CIA operation in
    the world, but until 1987, when a British investigative journalist named
    Christopher Robbins published a book called The Ravens: The Men Who
    Flew in America’s Secret War in Laos , the American public had heard
    little about it except rumors and denials. (A typical sample from the New
    York Times, July 4, 1962: “A Defense Department spokesman labelled as
    ‘untrue’ today charges that United States planes were dropping arms to
    Meo [Hmong] tribesmen in Laos.”) In 1965, Johnson commented
    sanctimoniously that “the problem of Laos is the refusal of the
    Communist forces to honor the Geneva Accords.” What he failed to
    mention was that his own country wasn’t honoring them either; it was
    just doing a better job of keeping its violations secret. According to
    Robbins, the war was so classified that American Air Force pilots in
    Vietnam who were recruited to fly planes for Air America, the CIA’s
    proprietary airline in Laos, didn’t even know until they arrived in Laos
    what country they’d volunteered to fight in. It was simply called “the

    Other Theater.”
    At first glance, it seems crazy that the CIA recruited the most remote

    ethnic minority in Laos, one notorious for its lack of national
    consciousness, instead of the dominant lowland Lao. The explanation lay
    both in the shortcomings of the Lao and in the special assets of the
    Hmong. A Royal Lao army existed, but its soldiers had never been noted
    for their bellicosity. A Life magazine article of the period observed,
    “[The Lao] are among the most charming people in Asia—and the most
    otherworldly and least martial as well. Consequently, Lao troops have
    sometimes fired over the heads of the enemy rather than hurt anybody,
    much to the despair of American advisers.” It was said that Lao soldiers
    were likely to lay down their weapons the first time they were attacked,
    or sell them on the black market. The Hmong, on the other hand—to
    whom the CIA, like the Lao, referred as “Meo”—had a four-thousand-
    year-long reputation as scrappy fighters. In Laos, they had already proven
    their mettle as guerrillas during the Second World War, when they fought
    on the side of the Lao and the French during the Japanese occupation, and
    after the war, when, similarly allied, they resisted the Vietminh. The CIA
    thus conveniently inherited a counterinsurgent network of Hmong
    guerrillas that the French had organized in northern Laos two decades
    earlier. Reading American press accounts of the war from the early
    sixties through the early seventies, I was bemused by their simultaneous
    condescension toward and admiration for the Hmong, who were portrayed
    as noble savages with thrillingly ferocious temperaments: “Like many
    primitive peoples, their word for ‘enemy’ and ‘stranger’ is the same, and
    they are as likely to skewer a visitor on the arrow of a crossbow as to
    welcome him.” “Meo tribesmen [are] tough little primitives skilled in the
    savage techniques of ambush and night assault.” “Sketchy reports trickle
    down from the hills and tell of heavy damage wreaked on Communist
    motorcades by Meo tribesmen on the pro-government warpath.” “The
    Meos have never hesitated to kill. Not only are they ready and able to use
    weapons but they also climb up and down the mountains with the agility
    of mountain goats, setting ambushes, destroying convoys, spreading
    terror in the enemy’s rear and then fading back into the mountains.”

    Many Hmong had reasons of their own for defending the Royal Lao
    government, and thus for collaborating with the United States. Perhaps a
    fifth of them—mostly members and supporters of the Lo clan, which had
    a long-standing feud with the anticommunist Ly clan—sided with the
    Pathet Lao. But the great majority, including those contacted by the CIA,
    supported the royalist camp, not because communism was ideologically
    less attractive than capitalism but because it was more apt to threaten
    their autonomy. It was unlikely that communist agrarian land reformers
    would look with favor on Hmong swidden agriculture. Moreover, because
    most Hmong had sided with the French before the collapse of colonial
    Indochina, they feared reprisals from the North Vietnamese, who had
    recently inflamed old antagonisms by confiscating Hmong opium crops
    to trade for weapons. There were also persuasive social reasons for
    fighting on the royalist side. Traditionally snubbed by the lowland Lao,
    the Hmong were likely to gain status if they became the heroes of a
    military victory. Finally, many Hmong had a huge personal stake in the
    war because they lived in the mountains surrounding its most crucial
    theater of operation: the Plain of Jars, a plateau in northeastern Laos
    through which communist troops from the north would have to march in
    any attempt to occupy the administrative capital of Vientiane, on the Thai
    border. That the Hmong knew this strategic region like the backs of their
    hands was not lost on the American military leaders who recruited them.
    Other hilltribes also supported the royalists, but the Hmong did most of
    the fighting.

    In 1971, while testifying before the Senate Armed Services
    Committee, an undersecretary of state named U. Alexis Johnson said, “I
    personally feel that although the way the operation [in Laos] has been run
    is unorthodox, unprecedented, in many ways I think it is something of
    which we can be proud as Americans. It has involved virtually no
    American casualties. What we are getting for our money is, to use the old
    phrase, very cost-effective.” What Johnson was saying, in effect, was that
    Hmong lives came cheap. The annual cost of financing the Armée
    Clandestine (via the CIA, the Department of Defense, and the U.S.
    Agency for International Development) was about $500 million. The

    annual cost of the Vietnam War was about $20 billion. One of the reasons
    for this disparity was that in 1971, army privates in Vietnam were paid
    between $197.50 and $339 a month; Hmong soldiers in Laos were paid an
    average of 2,000 kip ($3) a month. American soldiers in Vietnam ate
    army field rations (spaghetti, turkey loaf, ham and eggs, frankfurters and
    beans), with periodic supplements of steak, ice cream, and beer; Hmong
    soldiers in Laos ate rice. American pilots were sent home after a year or,
    if they flew over North Vietnam, after their hundredth mission; the most
    famous Hmong pilot, Lieutenant Ly Lue, flew more than five thousand
    missions before he was shot down. “There was no tour to complete,”
    wrote Christopher Robbins, “no rest and recreation in Hong Kong or
    Australia, no end in sight to the war. ‘Fly till you die,’ the Meo pilots
    said.” Hmong soldiers died at a rate about ten times as high as that of
    American soldiers in Vietnam.

    To call the Hmong American-paid mercenaries, as has often been
    done, is to forget that mercenaries, whether lured by money or adventure,
    choose their profession. Not all Hmong became soldiers of their own
    accord. Some were forced into combat because bombing in northern Laos
    had obliged them to abandon their fields, and there was no other
    employment. Some were coerced. General Vang Pao, the CIA-supported
    Hmong leader of the Armée Clandestine, was said to punish villages that
    had failed to fill their soldier quotas by cutting off their food supplies or
    even sending his own troops to attack them. Jonas Vangay, a Hmong
    leader in Merced, told me soon after I met him, “Vang Pao recruited by
    force. I was very lucky. My father had money and he pay four other men
    to serve instead of my three brothers and me. Father sent us to school
    secretly and those four men fight.” Jonas left it at that. It was only when I
    knew him better, several months later, that I ventured to ask what had
    happened to the soldiers who had served in their stead. “All four die,” he
    said, and, after a moment of uncomfortable silence, changed the subject.

    Vang Pao was both the cornerstone of the war and its most cryptic
    figure. A natural leader who had begun his military career at thirteen as
    an interpreter and jungle runner for the French, he rose precipitously
    through the ranks in the Royal Lao army until, in the early 1950s, he was

    recommended for officer training school. When the captain overseeing
    the entrance exam noticed that this promising candidate knew almost no
    written French, he neatly solved the problem by dictating the answers.
    (Years later, Vang Pao expressed no embarrassment at having cheated; he
    emphasized, however, that the captain had merely told him the answers,
    and not, as the story sometimes went, actually guided his hand.
    “Whorehouse of shit!” he told a Hmong interviewer. “I know how to
    write!”) It is worth noting that this incident, far from tarnishing Vang
    Pao’s reputation—as, for example, Ted Kennedy’s fudged Spanish exam
    at Harvard tarnished his—merely added to his mythology: this was the
    sort of man who could never be held back by such petty impediments as
    rules. By 1961, when the CIA tapped him to lead their guerrilla army,
    Vang Pao was already a colonel—the highest rank a Hmong had ever
    attained—who had sealed his influence over the Hmong by choosing
    wives from three major clans. By 1963, he was a major general. He
    considered himself a modern reformer who supported education,
    criticized slash-and-burn farming, and urged the Hmong to assimilate
    into Lao society; yet he once engaged a famous txiv neeb to sacrifice two
    steers in order to coax an influential Hmong neutralist over to the rightist
    side, and postponed at least one bombing sortie because the leg bones of
    the chickens he ate for dinner were inauspiciously positioned. He tortured
    North Vietnamese prisoners with electric shocks and strafed Hmong
    villages that collaborated with the Pathet Lao; yet he served as a
    godfather and surrogate provider to hundreds of war widows and orphans.
    Even his enemies conceded his courage. He often accompanied his
    soldiers to the front lines, surviving several crash landings as well as
    bullet wounds in his arm and side.

    The CIA considered Vang Pao—according to the narration of a
    propaganda film of the time—“a charismatic, passionate, and committed
    man, a patriot without a country.” He was twice flown to the United
    States, invited to the White House, and, as the New York Times noted,
    during a 1969 visit to Disneyland “was given a Zorro suit as a jest [that]
    he wore recently, according to sources close to him, when he toured the
    Plaine des Jarres, the vital area his forces recently captured.” Realizing

    that the best way to guarantee Hmong collaboration was to support their
    opium trade, the CIA used its Air America aircraft to pick up crude
    opium bricks in remote villages, and gave Vang Pao his own airline,
    Xieng Khouang Air Transport (nicknamed “Air Opium”), which flew
    opium from the secret Hmong military base at Long Tieng, in northern
    Laos, to markets in Vientiane. After it was refined, much of the Hmong
    opium crop ended up in South Vietnam, where it helped addict an
    estimated 30,000 American soldiers to heroin. A large portion indirectly
    subsidized the Armée Clandestine, which is one reason the war was such
    a bargain. “I knew nothing of this,” former CIA director Richard Helms
    told a reporter for Frontline, who obviously didn’t believe him, in 1988.
    “It certainly was not policy.”

    Some of Vang Pao’s recruits were sent to training camps in Thailand.
    Others massed in Long Tieng, an abandoned opium field, surrounded on
    three sides by a protective barrier of limestone mountains, which during
    the war became the largest Hmong settlement in the world. New recruits
    drilled on the landing strip built by the CIA to accommodate cargo
    planes. Using cardboard targets their wives had cut from surplus butter
    boxes, they practiced their marksmanship with American M-l rifles and
    M-2 carbines, as well as with captured Soviet submachine guns. They
    also learned how to handle mortars and surplus Air Force rockets, which
    they fired from homemade launchers. Since they could not read, trail
    watchers assigned to spot North Vietnamese convoys were provided with
    radio transmitters whose buttons were labeled with pictures of trucks and
    tanks. Their CIA advisers marveled at how quickly the Hmong,
    accustomed to crossbows and flintlocks, mastered the technology of
    modern warfare. “You give one of these little guys an M-l rifle and fifty
    rounds of ammunition in the morning,” said an American trainer in 1961,
    “and when he comes back that night he’ll be able to kill a man at 200
    yards.” Christopher Robbins reported the story—perhaps apocryphal,
    perhaps not—that in the early days of the war, Hmong villagers peered
    under the fuselages of airplanes to determine whether they were male or
    female. A few years later, some of those villagers were crewing or
    piloting propeller-driven T-28 training planes converted to bombers. The

    Hmong also impressed the Americans with their adaptability. With little
    available timber, soldiers who had transplanted their families to Long
    Tieng built houses out of empty rice sacks, knocked-down ammunition
    crates, and flattened fifty-five-gallon oil drums. They used grenades to
    fish, and stuffed them inside chickens as bait for tigers. They used
    parachute cord to rope water buffalos.

    In the United States the conflict in Laos was called the “Quiet War”—
    as opposed to the noisy one in Vietnam, whose escalation had turned the
    Laotian civil war into an international free-for-all, with the Soviet Union
    and the People’s Republic of China throwing their weight behind the
    Pathet Lao while the United States continued to back the Royal Lao. But
    for the Hmong, the war was anything but quiet. More than two million
    tons of bombs were dropped on Laos, mostly by American planes
    attacking communist troops in Hmong areas. There was an average of one
    bombing sortie every eight minutes for nine years. Between 1968 and
    1972, the tonnage of bombs dropped on the Plain of Jars alone exceeded
    the tonnage dropped by American planes in both Europe and the Pacific
    during World War II. In 1971, an American reporter named T. D. Allman
    flew over the Plain of Jars and reported that he had counted several
    hundred bomb craters on a single hundred-foot hill; that most of the
    plain’s vegetation had been stripped by American defoliants; and that
    napalm fires burned day and night. The Plain of Jars is still pocked with
    craters and littered with unexploded American-made cluster bombs,
    ready to detonate at the accidental prodding of a hoe or the curious poke
    of a child.

    During the latter years of the war, as Hmong casualties mounted,
    younger and younger soldiers were recruited to fight the constant stream
    of well-trained North Vietnamese, who were rotated annually. In Tragic
    Mountains: The Hmong, the Americans, and the Secret Wars for Laos,
    1942–1992, Jane Hamilton-Merritt quoted a former soldier named Vang
    Xeu who volunteered in 1968, when he was thirteen:

    Everyone knew that Vang Pao had been a soldier at 13, so many
    young boys volunteered to fight to protect our land. I was a small,

    weak boy but determined to help my people…. In my first fight, I
    discovered that I couldn’t shoot my weapon by hand-holding it; it
    was too heavy. I had to find a rock or tree to steady it on before
    firing. That was dangerous. So, I asked Vang Pao if I could be a
    paratrooper. He agreed and I trained for that. On my first jump, I
    was so light that I floated and floated and came down far from my
    unit. To solve my floating problem, the next time I jumped with a
    B-40 grenade launcher. That brought me down. But once on the
    ground, I wasn’t strong enough to operate the B-40 effectively. I
    asked Vang Pao if I could be trained in intelligence. He agreed.
    That was the right place for me.

    In 1968, Edgar “Pop” Buell, a retired Indiana farmer who directed the
    U.S. Agency for International Development relief program in northern
    Laos, told Robert Shaplen of the New Yorker, “A few days ago, I was with
    [Vang Pao’s] officers when they rounded up three hundred fresh [Hmong]
    recruits. Thirty per cent of the kids were fourteen years old or less, and
    about a dozen were only ten years old. Another thirty per cent were
    fifteen or sixteen. The rest were thirty-five or over. Where were the ones
    in between? I’ll tell you—they’re all dead.”

    In 1960, between 300,000 and 400,000 Hmong lived in Laos. There is
    wide disagreement over what fraction died during the war and its
    aftermath, with estimates ranging from a tenth (in a 1975 Washington
    Post report) to half (in a 1970 report to the Senate Judiciary
    Subcommittee on Refugees and Escapees). Some were soldiers who died
    in battle; most were civilians killed by cannon and mortar fire, bombs,
    land mines, grenades, postwar massacres, hunger, and disease. Whether
    one cause of death was chemical warfare in the form of toxic “yellow
    rain” has been the subject of abundant controversy—a debate that has
    diverted attention from the holocaust that the Hmong incon-testably
    suffered from conventional weapons.* Although they suffered far worse
    losses per capita than the South Vietnamese, whose agonies were featured
    daily in the American press, the Hmong were almost completely
    overlooked, partly because all reporters were barred from Long Tieng.

    (On the one occasion when an American, a British, and a French
    journalist did manage to sneak into Long Tieng, Vang Pao was so worried
    about having his secret base exposed that he decided to blow up their
    jeep, and was dissuaded only with great difficulty by his CIA advisers.)
    When the Hmong were mentioned, the crucial element of American
    involvement was usually missing from the account, either because the
    reporter couldn’t confirm it or because the information was embargoed.

    In northern Laos, ninety percent of the villages were affected by the
    war—that is to say, the inhabitants suffered casualties or were displaced,
    or both. Entire villages fled en masse after their houses were burned and
    their headmen beaten or killed during nighttime raids by the Pathet Lao
    or North Vietnamese. Some villages decamped to avoid incidental
    bombing by American or Royal Lao aircraft. (In 1971, a Hmong leader in
    Long Pot, a village thirty miles northwest of Long Tieng, was asked
    which he feared most, attacks by the enemy Pathet Lao or bombs dropped
    by his own allies. “The bombs!” he replied. “The bombs!”) Some were
    evacuated by Air America, on the theory that in areas where the Pathet
    Lao were inevitably advancing, the communists’ military gains would be
    diminished if they captured only land and not people. Some villages
    simply collapsed because all the able-bodied men were dead or fighting,
    and the remaining women, children, and elderly men were unable to work
    enough fields to feed themselves. By 1970, forced to adapt their
    migratory habits to wartime, more than a third of the Hmong in Laos had
    become refugees within their own country. Yang Dao, a Hmong scholar
    and government adviser, wrote at the time:

    In Houa Phanh and Xieng Khouang provinces, the war has reached
    into every home and forced every individual, down to the very
    youngest, to make the agonizing choice of flight or death….
    [Displaced people] have taken refuge in temporary settlements to
    the south, where there is little to eat, where schools are
    nonexistent, where sanitary conditions are deplorable, and where
    hopelessness and despair are constant companions.

    During these troubled times, total disorder prevailed; what

    government there was intervened only to attend to the most
    pressing situations. The heat and the rains, compounded by the
    lack of hygiene among people accustomed to living in relative
    isolation, quickly led to the spread of disease and epidemics,
    ravaging the teeming refugee population, particularly the children.

    In the space of only a few years the southwest part of the Plain
    of Jars, once a lush green forest where tigers roamed, has been
    “urbanized” under the pressure of a continuing exodus that has no
    relationship whatsoever to the normal sort of economic
    development linked to industrialization. Today more than 200,000
    people live in settlements and military bases ranging from 500 to
    30,000 inhabitants, confined to a mountainous strip only 50 by 90
    kilometers in area. The rest of the province is total desolation.

    In some spheres, the Hmong reacted to these upheavals, as they had to
    calamities throughout their history, by grasping their traditional culture
    even more tightly. Yang Dao reported that displaced families who had
    lost their livestock continued to go through the motions of ritual
    sacrifice, using stones in place of animals. The dwindling practice of
    polygyny, which at the beginning of the war was observed mainly by
    leaders like Vang Pao as a status symbol, became common again as a
    response to the mismatched wartime survival rates of men and women.
    The institution of levirate marriage, in which a widow was expected to
    wed her dead husband’s younger brother, was also revived. This practice
    kept the children and their inheritance in their father’s clan but often
    saddled the new husband, who might well be fifteen years old or have ten
    children already, with crushing responsibilities.

    For the most part, though, the experience of the “internal refugees”
    was a chaotic and involuntary crash landing into twentieth-century
    culture. A popularly held notion is that the Hmong refugees who came to
    the United States after the war were, as one newspaper reporter put it,
    “transplanted from Stone Age to Space Age.” Not only does that view
    grossly underestimate the complexity of traditional Hmong culture, but it
    also ignores the immense social, cultural, and economic changes that

    many Hmong had already gone through during the course of the war
    itself. The way of life that had survived centuries of persecution in China,
    as well as the nineteeth-century hegira to Laos, was irreversibly altered,
    at least in its outward forms, within a few years. I once asked Jonas
    Vangay to summarize the effects of the war on the Hmong. “My parents
    used to travel barefoot and on horse,” he said. “We lived in a rural and
    mountainous area where we never saw a car or a bus. Suddenly, in 1960,
    everything went upside down. The French wars hadn’t really influenced
    us so much. Less than twenty percent of the Hmong were involved in the
    battle of Dien Bien Phu. But with the U.S. war, it was ninety percent. You
    couldn’t stay in your village. You moved around and around and around.
    Four years later, when I went to Vientiane, what struck me is that you
    cannot see a lot of Hmong with their black clothing anymore. All are
    wearing khaki and green soldier clothing. And where we had lived, before
    the war it was all covered with forests. After the bombardments…il n’y a
    plus de forêts, il n’y en a plus, il n’y en a plus, il n’y a rien du tout.”
    Jonas tended to lapse into French—his fourth language, after Hmong,
    Lao, and Thai—when he could not adequately express his emotions in
    English, his fifth language. (“There are no more forests, there are no
    more, there are no more, there is nothing at all.”)

    Although some Hmong had been exposed to lowland life during and
    after the Second World War, many saw cars, trucks, tractors, bicycles,
    radios, flashlights, clocks, canned food, and cigarettes for the first time
    when they were forced to leave their villages for temporary relocation
    sites. Swidden farming was moribund. A market economy began to rise in
    its place, encouraged by the soldiers’ cash wages and the availability of
    manufactured goods. Lao kip replaced silver as a means of exchange.
    Long Tieng became a desultory megalopolis, an unpaved, sewerless city
    of more than 30,000 where Hmong ran noodle stands, cobbled shoes,
    tailored clothes, repaired radios, ran military-jeep taxi services, and
    interpreted for American pilots and relief workers. Except for ceremonial
    occasions, many Hmong women discarded their embroidered black
    garments and adopted lowland-Lao lungi skirts and short blouses of
    factory-made material. Both men and women wore polyvinyl thongs.

    Some children attended school; others trailed after the Americans,
    begging chewing gum and coins, or squatted in the dirt, playing with
    bullet casings instead of toys made of corncobs and chicken feathers.
    Even the Hmong language adapted. Many of the traditional onomatopoeic
    expressions expanded to make room for new associations. Plij ploj, the
    sound of bamboo breaking, gained the additional meaning of “bullet
    impact.” Vig vwg, the roar of wind or fire, now meant “small airplane
    motor” as well. Plhij plhawj, the sound of birds making brief flights from
    roost to roost, also meant “helicopter propellers.” A new expression, ntsij
    ntsiaj, meaning “pushing or pulling the bolt on an M-16,” came into use.

    The most drastic change bred by the war was the loss of the single
    asset the Hmong prized most highly: their self-sufficiency. With their
    fields left rotting, their livestock abandoned, and their mountains emptied
    of game, more than 100,000 Hmong were kept alive by U.S.-sponsored
    food drops—weather and enemy fire permitting, fifty tons of rice a day,
    delivered by parachute from Air America cargo planes. As one pilot put
    it, “There is a whole generation of Meos who are going to be damn
    surprised when someone tells them that rice doesn’t grow in the sky.”
    One consequence of feeding the Hmong was that those who still lived in
    tillable regions could spend more time growing poppies, to the benefit of
    the opium trade. Not all Hmong villages and relocation sites were
    supplied with rice, and in those that were, the daily allotment per person
    was about a pound, half what the Hmong were used to. The memory of
    the rice drops still rankles. When I asked Jonas Vangay about them, he
    said, “Are you accusing the Hmong to be idle or lazy? Do you think they
    were just waiting for rice from the sky? The Hmong have always grown
    their own rice. Lao used to get rice from Hmong in exchange for salt and
    material. The Hmong never bought rice from Lao! But in the Plain area,
    there is not enough rice in the war. Ils n’ont plus de choix.” (“They no
    longer have any choice.”)

    In January of 1973, the United States signed the Paris Agreement,
    pledging to withdraw all its forces from Vietnam. Two weeks later, on his
    way to Hanoi, Henry Kissinger stopped in Vientiane to talk with Prince
    Souvanna Phouma, the Prime Minister of Laos, who feared the United

    States would similarly withdraw support from Laos, leaving it to the
    mercy of North Vietnam. “The very survival of Laos rests on your
    shoulders,” Souvanna Phouma told Kissinger. “But your shoulders are
    very broad. We are counting on you to make our neighbors understand
    that all we want is peace. We are a very small country; we do not
    represent a danger to anybody. We count on you to make them know that
    the Lao people are pacific by tradition and by religion. We want only to
    be sovereign and independent. We ask that they let us live in peace on
    this little piece of ground that is left to us of our ancient kingdom….
    Therefore we must count on our great friends the Americans to help us
    survive.”

    In his 1979 memoirs, Kissinger, whose shoulders turned out to be far
    less broad than the prince had hoped, wrote, “I cannot, even today, recall
    Souvanna Phouma’s wistful plea without a pang of shame.” In February
    1973, the Vientiane Agreement was signed, calling for a cease-fire in
    Laos, a coalition government, and the end of American air support.
    USAID discontinued its relief program, and in June of 1974, the last Air
    America plane left Laos. On May 3, 1975, two weeks after the Khmer
    Rouge took control of Phnom Penh, three days after the North
    Vietnamese occupied Saigon, and seven months before the communist
    Lao People’s Democratic Republic supplanted the six-hundred-year-old
    Lao monarchy, the Pathet Lao crossed the ceasefire line into territory
    held by Vang Pao. On May 9, the Khao Xane Pathet Lao, the newspaper
    of the Lao People’s Party, announced: “The Meo [Hmong] must be
    exterminated down to the root of the tribe.” On May 10, surrounded by
    Pathet Lao and North Vietnamese troops, with few surviving Hmong
    fighter pilots and no American combat support, Vang Pao reluctantly
    bowed to the counsel of his CIA case officers and conceded that he could
    no longer hold Long Tieng. During the next four days, between 1,000 and
    3,000 Hmong—mostly high-ranking army officers and their families,
    including the family of my interpreter, May Ying Xiong—were airlifted
    by American planes to Thailand. (During the month before the fall of
    Saigon on April 30, American airlifts and sealifts had evacuated more
    than 45,000 South Vietnamese.) Hmong fought to board the aircraft.

    Several times the planes were so overloaded they could not take off, and
    dozens of people standing near the door had to be pushed out onto the
    airstrip. On May 14, Vang Pao, in tears, told the assembled crowd,
    “Farewell, my brothers, I can do nothing more for you, I would only be a
    torment for you,” and boarded an evacuation helicopter. After the last
    American transport plane disappeared, more than 10,000 Hmong were
    left on the airfield, fully expecting more aircraft to return. When it
    became apparent that there would be no more planes, a collective wail
    rose from the crowd and echoed against the mountains. The shelling of
    Long Tieng began that afternoon. A long line of Hmong, carrying their
    children and old people, started to move across the plateau, heading
    toward Thailand.

    11

    The Big One

    On November 25, 1986, the day before Thanksgiving, the Lees were
    eating dinner. Lia, who had had a mild runny nose for several days, sat in
    her usual chair at the round white Formica table in the kitchen,
    surrounded by her parents, five of her sisters, and her brother. She was
    normally an avid eater, but tonight she had little appetite, and fed herself
    only a little rice and water. After she finished eating, her face took on the
    strange, frightened expression that always preceded an epileptic seizure.
    She ran to her parents, hugged them, and fell down, her arms and legs
    first stiffening and then jerking furiously. Nao Kao picked her up and laid
    her on the blue quilted pad they always kept ready for her on the living
    room floor.

    “When the spirit caught Lia and she fell down,” said Nao Kao, “she
    was usually sick for ten minutes or so. After that, she would be normal
    again, and if you gave her rice, she ate it. But this time she was really
    sick for a long time, so we had to call our nephew because he spoke
    English and he knew how to call an ambulance.” On every other occasion
    when Lia had seized, Nao Kao and Foua had carried Lia to the hospital. I
    asked Nao Kao why he had decided to summon an ambulance. “If you
    take her in an ambulance, they would pay more attention to her at the
    hospital,” he said. “If you don’t call the ambulance, those tsov tom people
    wouldn’t look at her.” May Ying hesitated before translating tsov tom,
    which means “tiger bite.” Tigers are a symbol of wickedness and
    duplicity—in Hmong folktales, they steal men’s wives and eat their own
    children—and tsov tom is a very serious curse.

    It is true that, whether one is Hmong or American, arriving at an

    emergency room via ambulance generally does stave off the customary
    two-hour wait. But any patient as catastrophically ill as Lia was that night
    would have been instantly triaged to the front of the line, no matter how
    she had gotten there. In fact, if her parents had run the three blocks to
    MCMC with Lia in their arms, they would have saved nearly twenty
    minutes that, in retrospect, may have been critical. As it was, it took
    about five minutes for their nephew to come to their house and dial 911;
    one minute for the ambulance to respond to the dispatcher’s call; two
    minutes for the ambulance to reach the Lee residence; fourteen minutes
    (an unusually, and in this case perhaps disastrously, long time) for the
    ambulance to leave the scene; and one minute to drive to the hospital.

    Years later, when Neil Ernst looked over the ambulance report, he
    sighed and said, “That EMT was in way over his head. Way over.”
    According to the report, when the ambulance arrived at 37 East 12th
    Street at 6:52 p.m., this is what the emergency medical technician found:

    Age: 4
    Sex:
    Illness: Seizure/Convulsions
    Airway: Compromised
    Respiratory Effort: None
    Pulses: Thready
    Skin Color: Cyanotic
    Pupils: Fixed
    Chest: Tense
    Pelvis: Incontinent of urine
    Eyes Open to Voice or Pain: None
    Verbal Response: None

    Lia was on the verge of death. The emergency medical technician fitted a
    plastic airway over her tongue to prevent it from blocking her throat.
    After suctioning her mucus and saliva, he placed a mask over her nose
    and mouth and forced oxygen down her trachea by squeezing a hand-held
    resuscitation bag. He then attempted to insert an intravenous line in one

    of her antecubital veins, in front of the elbow, in order to administer an
    anticonvulsant drug. He failed, realized crucial minutes were being lost,
    and ordered the driver to head at top speed for MCMC with the
    ambulance on Code III (the most emergent, with lights flashing and
    sirens blaring). En route, the EMT tried desperately to insert the IV again,
    and failed two more times. As he later noted, in shaky handwriting, “Pt
    continued to seize.”

    The ambulance arrived at MCMC at 7:07. Lia’s gurney was rushed
    into Room B. Of the emergency room’s six cubicles, this was the one
    reserved for the most critical cases, since it contained a crash cart, a
    defibrillator, and intubation equipment. Lia had been there several times
    before. Room B is a twenty-by-twenty institutional-beige cell smelling
    faintly of disinfectant, sheathed from floor to ceiling in synthetic
    materials from which blood, urine, and vomit can be easily cleaned: a
    clean, bland backdrop against which hundreds of cataclysmic dramas
    have been played out and then scrubbed away. Lia was thrashing
    violently. Her lips and nail beds were blue. There was no time to undress
    her. A nurse tore off the blanket in which she was wrapped and, using
    bandage scissors, cut off a black T-shirt, an undershirt, and a pair of
    underpants. An emergency physician, two family practice residents, and
    the nurse surrounded Lia, trying to start an intravenous line. They took
    more than twenty minutes to insert a butterfly needle, attached to a small-
    bore tube, in the top of her left foot—a stopgap measure, since any
    movement on Lia’s part was likely to cause the needle, which was left in
    the vein, to poke through the vessel wall and spill the IV solution into her
    tissues instead of her bloodstream. A large dose of Valium, a sedative
    that usually halts seizures by depressing the central nervous system, was
    pushed into the line. It had absolutely no effect. “We gave her Valium,
    more Valium, and more Valium,” recalled Steve Segerstrom, one of the
    residents. “We did everything, and Lia’s seizures only got worse. I went
    very rapidly from calm to panic.” Steve tried repeatedly to start a more
    reliable IV, and failed. Lia continued to seize in twenty-second bursts.
    Vomited rice began to pour from her nose and mouth. The aspirated
    vomit, in combination with the impaired ability of her diaphragm to

    move air into her lungs, was compromising her ability to breathe. A
    respiratory therapist was summoned. An arterial blood-gas test showed
    that over the last hour or so, Lia’s blood had probably contained levels of
    oxygen so low as to be nearly fatal: she was asphyxiating. Despite her
    seizures and her clenched jaw, one of the residents somehow managed to
    pass a breathing tube into her trachea, and she was placed on a hand
    ventilator.

    Neil’s pager went off at 7:35. He and Peggy were eating dinner with
    their two sons. They were planning on spending the evening at home,
    packing for their Thanksgiving vacation at the family cabin in the Sierra
    foothills, for which they would leave the next morning. Neil called the
    emergency room. He was told that Lia was in prolonged status
    epilepticus, that no one could get in a good IV, and that the Valium
    wasn’t working. “As soon as I heard that,” he recalled, “I knew that this
    was it. This was the big one.”

    Neil had been afraid for months that when this moment came, he
    would be the one on call, and he was. He told the resident to give Lia
    more Valium and, if that didn’t work, to switch to Ativan, another
    sedative, which, when administered in large doses, is less likely than
    Valium to make a patient stop breathing. He jumped in his car, drove to
    MCMC as fast as he could without breaking the speed limit, and at 7:45
    walked briskly—no matter how frantic he felt, he made a point of never
    running—through the emergency room door.

    “It was an incredible scene,” Neil said. “It was like something out of
    The Exorcist. Lia was literally jumping off the table. She had restraints
    on, but her motor activity was so unbelievable that she was just jumping,
    just hopping off the table, just on and on and on and on. It was different
    from any seizure I had ever seen before. I remember seeing her parents
    standing out in the hall, just outside the emergency room. The door was
    open and people were running in and out. They must have seen
    everything. I caught their eye a couple of times but I was too busy to talk
    to them right then. We had to get in a more substantial IV and there were
    the usual problems—her fat, her sclerosed veins from previous IVs—only
    much worse this time because of her absolutely tremendous muscular

    activity. Steve Segerstrom said, Do you think it’s worth trying a
    saphenous cutdown?” (To perform a “cutdown,” a physician makes a skin
    incision, nicks a blood vessel—in this case a large vein above Lia’s right
    ankle—with a scalpel, dilates the hole with forceps, introduces an
    intravenous catheter, and sutures it into place.) “And I said, Gee, Steve, at
    this point, anything is worth it, go ahead and try. The atmosphere in the
    room was just charged. People were literally lying on Lia’s legs while
    Steve started the cutdown. And he got it! And then we gave Lia just a ton
    of medicine, a lot, and a lot, and a lot. And finally, she stopped seizing.
    She finally stopped. It took a long time, but she finally stopped.”

    I had never seen Neil so upset as he was when he told me this. Steve
    Segerstrom sounded upset too when he recalled the incident, but Steve is
    an excitable man and a fast talker, so the contrast between his normal
    tone and his tone as he described the scene in Emergency Room B was far
    less noticeable than it was with Neil, who is usually so calm. When Neil
    finished talking, I could hear him breathing—not heavily, but audibly, as
    if he had been interrupted partway through his morning’s eight-mile run.

    This was Lia’s sixteenth admission to MCMC. Everyone at the
    hospital—the emergency room nurses, the residents, the respiratory
    therapist, Neil—all assumed that Lia had the same thing wrong with her
    that she had had on her previous fifteen admissions, only worse. All the
    standard tests were run: blood counts, blood chemistries, blood pressures,
    and a chest X ray to confirm the placement of the breathing tube. Of
    course, Lia’s blood was tested to find out if her parents had been giving
    her the prescribed amount of Depakene. Like every test since Lia’s return
    home from foster care, it showed that they had. No one thought of taking
    her temperature, which was 101°, until after Neil had returned home. Two
    other unusual signs—diarrhea and a very low platelet count—were
    simply noted without comment on Lia’s chart, eclipsed into invisibility
    by the monumental scale of her seizures. No antibiotics were
    administered because no infection was suspected.

    A twenty-minute bout of status epilepticus is considered life-
    threatening. Lia had seized continuously for nearly two hours. When she
    stopped, she was unconscious, though breathing. Because MCMC does

    not have a children’s Intensive Care Unit, it was obvious that Lia, like all
    of Merced’s critical pediatric cases, had to be transferred to Valley
    Children’s Hospital in Fresno. During the thick of the crisis, no one had
    said a word of explanation to Foua and Nao Kao, who had been forbidden
    to enter Emergency Room B. Steve Segerstrom’s Procedure Note for the
    saphenous cutdown tersely states, “Consent is implied due to severity of
    patient’s illness.” At some point, a nurse handed Foua the ruined clothes
    that had been cut off her daughter. After Lia’s vital signs were stable,
    Neil walked slowly out into the hall. He had sweat stains running from
    his armpits to his waist. Using the English-speaking nephew as an
    interpreter, he explained the situation to Foua. “I told her that this had
    been the big one,” he recalled later. “This was the worst seizure Lia had
    ever had, and it was very, very difficult to stop it, but we had stopped it.
    She was still very, very sick. I told the mother about the need to go to
    Fresno, because Lia would need stuff that Peggy and I couldn’t do. I also
    told her that we were leaving town but we would be back next week. And
    she understood that.” On Lia’s Progress Record, Neil scrawled,
    “Transport arranged for VCH ICU. Parents spoken to and understand
    critical condition.”

    In fact, the parents understood an entirely different version of reality
    from the one Neil intended to convey. When I asked them why they
    thought Lia had been sent to Fresno, Nao Kao said, “Her doctor was going
    on vacation, so there wasn’t any doctor here, so they sent her away.” Foua
    said, “Lia’s doctor was good at taking care of Lia. Sometimes when she
    was very, very sick, we would take her to him and he would make her
    better in a couple of days and she would be bouncing around and walking
    around. But that time he went to play, so they had to send Lia to someone
    else.” In other words, the Lees believed their daughter was transferred not
    because of her critical condition but because of Neil’s vacation plans, and
    that if she had stayed at MCMC, he would have restored her to health,
    just as he had on every other occasion.

    At 9:30, after he had arranged for an ambulance to take Lia to Fresno,
    instructed his staff on how to prepare her for transfer, and discussed her
    case by telephone with the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Valley

    Children’s, Neil drove home. He told Peggy, “That was it. She did it this
    time.” The two of them talked until almost midnight, retracing every
    moment of Lia’s crisis and each of Neil’s decisions. “I was so fired up,”
    he recalled, “I just couldn’t come down. When I’m like that I have
    trouble sleeping, and I start food-cramming—I just start stuffing stuff in
    my mouth. And I have to tell Peggy all about what happened.” Peggy was
    accustomed to talking Neil down from hospital emergencies, but she had
    never seen him this wound up.

    “That night my feelings were mixed,” said Neil. “It had been just like
    my nightmares—that Lia would have the most terrible seizure of her life
    and it was going to be my fault because I couldn’t keep her from dying—
    but she hadn’t died, and with some real capable people helping, I stopped
    it and I took care of it and I was able to meet the challenge. So I felt a
    certain amount of satisfaction. But I also felt terrifically sad because I
    didn’t know what Lia was going to be like when she came out of this. I
    was pretty sure she wasn’t going to be the same.”

    During the seventy-minute ambulance ride to Fresno, Lia “just
    crumped,” as Neil put it when he looked over her chart later. She arrived
    at Valley Children’s Hospital just before midnight in the throes of yet
    another grand mal seizure, with all four limbs flailing. Her fingers and
    toes were blue, her chest was mottled and cold, her blood pressure was
    precariously low, her white blood-cell count was precariously high, and
    her temperature was 104.9°. In a report sent to Neil Ernst, a critical care
    specialist named Maciej Kopacz noted that for an entire hour, it was
    impossible to start an arterial line “as no pulses could be palpable in any
    location.” Dr. Kopacz also commented that while he was performing a
    spinal tap (a procedure during which his nose was less than a foot from
    Lia’s buttocks), “the patient had explosive diarrhea showing large amount
    of water, foul smelling stools, with pus appearance.” It is hard to imagine
    a more difficult or unpleasant case than Lia’s must have been during her
    admission, which, to aggravate matters, took place during the early hours
    of Thanksgiving Day. Nonetheless, Dr. Kopacz, using the surreally
    courteous boilerplate of the standard consultation note, concluded his
    report—three single-spaced pages detailing one calamity after another—

    with the jolly sign-off, “Thank you very much for referring this patient to
    Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. Pediatric Critical Care Consultants will be
    happy to follow this patient.”

    Happy or not, the team of critical care consultants—supported by an
    auxiliary force of neurologists, infectious disease specialists, pediatric
    residents, respiratory therapists, radiologists, technicians, nurses, and
    nurse’s aides—did indeed follow the patient. Their technology was
    cutting-edge and their clinical skills irreproachable. At first, however,
    they were too busy trying to save Lia’s life to focus on a great deal
    besides her pathology. Dr. Kopacz, for example, who worked on Lia for
    more than twelve hours straight, failed to notice her sex. “His metabolic
    acidosis was decreased after initial bolus of bicarbonate,” he wrote. “His
    peripheral perfusion improved and pulse oximetry started reading a value
    that correlated with saturation on the arterial blood samples.” Here was
    American medicine at its worst and its best: the patient was reduced from
    a girl to an analyzable collection of symptoms, and the physician, thereby
    able to husband his energies, succeeded in keeping her alive.

    As soon as he saw Lia, Dr. Kopacz diagnosed her condition as
    “profound shock, probably of septic origin.” Septic shock, the result of a
    bacterial invasion of the circulatory system, is a systemic siege that
    overwhelms the entire body, first causing acute circulatory failure, and
    then, if the toxins are not disarmed and the blood is unable to deliver
    sufficient oxygen, triggering the failure of one organ after another. The
    lungs usually falter first, followed by the liver and the kidneys. The
    impaired perfusion of the tissues also bollixes up the gastrointestinal
    tract: Lia’s diarrhea was a typical symptom. Eventually the brain starts to
    die of oxygen deprivation, just as it would if the patient were drowning or
    being strangled. The mortality rate for septic shock is between forty and
    sixty percent.

    There were so many things going wrong with Lia at once that a
    standard course of treatment, plotted with orderly deliberation, was out of
    the question. She required an immediate, unremitting, multi-pronged
    assault. First, as at MCMC, her seizures had to be stopped. Valium didn’t
    work. In desperation, Dr. Kopacz loaded her with thiopental—a

    barbiturate so potent that, in effect, she was put under general anesthesia.
    Lia quickly went from convulsive agitation to stunned immobility. From
    that point on, the word “epilepsy” is rarely mentioned in her hospital
    chart. The doctors had too much else to worry about. To resuscitate her,
    they placed her on a respirator that delivered one-hundred-percent
    oxygen, the maximum. To monitor her blood pressure and deliver drugs
    —her diarrhea made it impossible to give anything by mouth—they
    inserted two more intravenous catheters, one in her left femoral artery
    and one in her right femoral vein. To monitor her heart function, they
    threaded a Swan-Ganz catheter through two chambers of her heart into
    her pulmonary artery. After each of these highly aggressive interventions,
    Dr. Kopacz noted, “The patient tolerated the procedure well.” By this he
    did not mean that Lia didn’t complain (though this was true too, since she
    was unconscious throughout), simply that he encountered no technical
    problems and didn’t kill the patient.

    At 11:00 a.m. on Thanksgiving, Lia crashed. As a result of her septic
    shock, she had developed a disorder called disseminated intravascular
    coagulation. The ability of her blood to clot had gone haywire, and she
    began to bleed and ooze both from her IV sites and internally. Her low
    platelet count at MCMC had been an early, unrecognized sign of this
    condition. Dr. Kopacz decided to try a desperate measure: a double
    volume exchange transfusion. Little by little, over a period of fifteen
    hours, her entire blood supply was removed and replaced twice with fresh
    blood whose ability to clot was unimpaired. The old blood went out the
    femoral artery; the new blood came in the femoral vein. Though her
    blood pressure plunged almost fatally during the first half hour, the
    transfusion finally worked. For the first time in thirty-eight hours, her
    lips, fingers, and toes were pink.

    Of all the trials to which Lia’s body was subjected, the spinal tap—a
    routine and only moderately invasive attempt to find out if the sepsis had
    passed from her blood into her central nervous system—was the one that
    most distressed her father, who heard about it after it was performed.
    “The doctors put a hole in her back before we got to the hospital,” he
    said. “I don’t know why they did it. I wasn’t there yet and they didn’t

    give me any paper to sign. They just sucked her backbone like that and it
    makes me disappointed and sad because that is how Lia was lost.” In
    other words, Nao Kao attributed Lia’s deteriorating condition to the
    spinal tap, a procedure many Hmong believe to be potentially crippling
    both in this life and in future lives. Foua’s explanation was, “They just
    took her to the hospital and they didn’t fix her. She got very sick and I
    think it is because they gave her too much medicine.”

    It was true that Lia was given a great deal of medicine. To prevent
    fluid from seeping out of her blood vessels, she was given Plasmanate. To
    raise her blood pressure and stimulate her heart, she was given
    dobutamine, dopamine, and epinephrine. To improve the circulation of
    her blood, she was given nitroprusside. To fight her infection, she was
    given a succession of antibiotics: ampicillin, chloramphenicol,
    gentamicin, nafcillin, ceftriaxone, clindamycin, tobramycin, and
    ceftazidime. To dry her oral secretions, she was given Robinul. To
    prevent seizures, she was given Ativan. (Her attending neurologist, Terry
    Hutchison, would have preferred Depakene, but it cannot be administered
    intravenously.) To nourish her, she was given Pedialyte and Osmolite
    through a nasogastric tube.

    During Lia’s first week at Valley Children’s, she also underwent a
    series of diagnostic tests. To attempt to locate the infection that had
    precipitated her septic shock, she had an abdominal ultrasound and a
    Gallium scan, in which radioactive tracing material was injected into her
    bloodstream. The Gallium scan suggested that the culpable site might be
    her left leg, though this finding was not conclusive. To identify the
    infection, her blood was cultured. It tested positive for Pseudomonas
    aeruginosa, a devastating bacterium that favors immuno-suppressed
    patients, often in hospitals.

    While all this was going on, Foua and Nao Kao lived in the waiting
    room of Valley Children’s Hospital, sleeping in chairs for nine
    consecutive nights. Relatives took care of their other children in Merced.
    The Lees didn’t understand why they were not permitted to stay by Lia’s
    bedside, as they always had at MCMC. Here, they were allowed only one
    ten-minute visit every hour: standard protocol for an Intensive Care Unit

    at the time. They had no money to pay for a motel room or buy food at
    the hospital cafeteria. “Our relatives in Merced brought us rice,” Nao Kao
    told me, “but only once a day, so we felt hungry.” During their brief
    periods with their daughter, they saw a plastic breathing tube sticking out
    of her throat, connected to a respirator; a feeding tube coming out of her
    nose; lines filled with clear fluids snaking into her arms and legs; plastic
    boards taped to her limbs to stabilize the intravenous lines; a blood
    pressure cuff on her arm that automatically inflated and deflated;
    electrodes on her chest, connected to wires that were in turn connected to
    a heart monitor next to her bed. The respirator hissed, the IV pump
    beeped, the blood pressure cuff crackled and sighed. Lia’s parents noticed
    that her buttocks were red and ulcerated from her diarrhea. Her hands and
    feet were swollen from fluid that had oozed from her capillaries into her
    tissues. The tip of her tongue was covered with blood clots because she
    had bitten it while she was seizing.

    “I met with father in PICU [Pediatric Intensive Care Unit] waiting
    room, using VCH interpreter Yee,” wrote a hospital social worker early in
    Lia’s stay. “I am not certain how completely father understands the
    seriousness of his daughter’s critical condition because he is equating this
    hospitalization with past hospitalizations.” Valley Children’s Hospital
    was a much larger and richer institution than MCMC, and could afford
    not only to practice medicine on a grander scale but also to employ
    interpreters on some shifts. Nonetheless, the Lees remained baffled by
    most of what was happening. And though Valley Children’s was well
    known for its efforts to reach out to patients’ families, Foua and Nao Kao
    did not realize that their “counseling” sessions, which usually left them
    confused and angry, were intended to reduce their stress.

    On Lia’s seventh day in Fresno, her doctors attempted to explain to
    Foua and Nao Kao that they wanted to perform two more invasive
    diagnostic tests: a bronchoscopy, to see if the infection had originated in
    her right lung, and a sinus wash, to see if it had originated in her sinuses.
    They also wanted to perform a tracheostomy, a hole cut through the neck
    into the windpipe, just below the larynx, to make it easier to ventilate her.
    “Parents counseled of Risks/Benefits/Alternatives thru interpreter,” noted

    one of her doctors. “Appear to understand and wish to proceed.” In fact,
    her parents had no idea what any of these procedures, which were
    scheduled for the following two days, entailed. They also did not
    understand why Lia was comatose. With a relative interpreting, Foua
    asked a nurse if the doctors had given Lia “sleeping shots.”

    Later that same day, Lia’s doctors gave her a CT scan and an EEG to
    see how her brain had weathered its prolonged oxygen shortage. A
    neurologist had noted earlier that Lia had no gag reflex, no corneal
    reflexes, and “no response to deeply painful stimulations.” Those
    findings were ominous. The new tests were catastrophic. “CAT scan of
    the head…revealed marked cerebral edema with very poor differentiation
    between white and gray matter,” wrote one of the residents. “An EEG was
    obtained which revealed essentially no brain activity with very flat brain
    waves.” Lia was effectively brain-dead.

    Jeanine Hilt, the Lees’ devoted social worker, got a call at 6:00 one
    evening informing her of Lia’s condition. She borrowed a Human
    Services Agency van and drove half a dozen Lee relatives to Fresno. “I
    don’t know who they were,” she recalled. “They just piled in. When we
    got down there, the doctors were preparing the family for Lia to die.”
    That night, writing in tiny, crabbed handwriting in her field notebook, she
    summarized Lia’s situation with heartsick concision: “Lia seizured
    11/25/86. Transferred Valley Children’s. Massive septic blood.
    Transfusions. Diarrhea. Comatose. Brain Damage. Vegetable.”

    Dee and Tom Korda, Lia’s former foster parents, also drove to
    Fresno. “It was awful,” Dee recalled. “The doctors wouldn’t even look at
    Foua and Nao Kao. They’d only look at us and Jeanine. They saw us as
    smart and white, and as far as they were concerned the Lees were
    neither.”

    Between notations on turning, cleaning, and suctioning Lia, one of her
    critical care nurses recorded the following:

    12/1/86. 1700. EEG was flat.

    1800. Dr. Singh [an attending physician] speaking to family with

    son as interpreter in lounge. Family in to pt. room. Father called
    by mother. Very tearful.

    2000. Family insisting on being @ bedside. Language barrier
    prohibits verbal communication but TLC given to mom.

    2100. Father here with family interpreter asking questions.

    2115. Family states “Wants medicine to fix Brain.”

    The nurse tried to explain that there was no medicine that could fix
    Lia’s brain. The next morning at 3:00 a.m., she wrote, “Mom @ bedside
    very upset, crying & chanting.”

    Foua was with Lia when one of Lia’s critical care physicians walked
    in and disconnected the intravenous lines. “The doctor seemed like she
    was a good doctor,” Foua told me, “but she wasn’t. She was really mean.
    She came in and she said that Lia was going to die and then she took out
    all the rubber stuff and she said that Lia’s brain is all rotted and she is
    going to die. So she wanted to take Lia’s medicine away from her and
    give it to someone else. At that moment I was so scared that it seemed
    like something was just going up and down my body and I thought I was
    going to die too.”

    This doctor was merely following Terry Hutchison’s orders—to
    which he believed the family had agreed—to discontinue all life-
    sustaining measures so that Lia could die as naturally as possible. Dr.
    Hutchison also canceled the bronchoscopy, the sinus wash, and the
    tracheostomy. Finally, he made a decision that is recorded in the most
    startling sentence in Lia’s long, bleak Valley Children’s Hospital chart:
    “The patient was taken off anticonvulsives [following] the abnormal
    EEG.” Because there was no electrical activity in her cerebral cortex,
    nothing could cause her to seize anymore. The epilepsy that had governed
    Lia’s life since she was three months old was over.

    Lia’s doctors expected her to die quickly, and they assumed that she
    would stay at Valley Children’s, where she could be made comfortable

    during her remaining hours or days. One social worker, trying to be
    helpful, suggested a local mortuary that the Lees might want to contact.
    Nao Kao was furious. “They wanted to keep her there and they didn’t
    want to send her to Merced and they’d already found a funeral home for
    her in Fresno,” he recalled. “But I refused to listen. I said, No, I want
    them to send her home. I want them to bring her to Merced so she can die
    here for the older children to see. So then they wanted me to sign some
    papers because they said when she gets out of the hospital she is going to
    die anyway.”

    The papers were a court order that Jeanine Hilt arranged, with full
    cooperation from Valley Children’s Hospital, as soon as she learned of
    the Lees’ wishes. Although Foua and Nao Kao would have preferred to
    take Lia back to their apartment, it was decided that she should be
    transferred to MCMC for supportive care. The Superior Court of the State
    of California recorded the following declaration, written by Jeanine on
    behalf of Foua and Nao Kao, “In the Matter of LIA LEE, a Dependent
    Child of the Juvenile Court”:

    Lia Lee is our daughter and has resided back in our home since
    April 1986 after having been in foster care for ten months…. She
    has since contracted pneumonia [sic] and is now in a coma with
    irreparable brain damage. Valley Children’s Medical Center is
    unable to provide any further medical care at this point, and we
    are requesting that Lia be transported by ambulance back to
    Merced Community Medical Center and then released to us if
    authorized by Dr. Neil Ernst. We would like to be able to bring
    Lia home to be with her family before she dies.

    We declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true
    and correct to the best of our knowledge. Executed on December
    5, 1986, in Merced, California.

    Nao Kao Lee, Father
    Foua Yang, Mother

    12

    Flight

    At the age of three and a half, my family including all the other relatives
    decided it to move to Thailand,” wrote Lia’s sister May in an
    autobiography she was assigned in her eighth-grade Language Arts class
    at Merced’s Hoover Junior High School.

    On our way to Thailand was something my parent will never
    forget. It was one of the scariest time of my life, and maybe my
    parents. We had to walked by feet. Some of family, however,
    leave their kids behind, kill, or beat them. For example, one of the
    relative has tried to kill one of his kid, but luckily he didn’t died.
    And manage to come along with the group. Today, he’s in
    America carrying a scar on his forehead.

    My parents had to carried me and two of my younger sisters,
    True and Yer. My mom could only carried me, and my dad could
    only my sister, True with many other things which they have to
    carry such as, rices (food), clothing, and blankets for overnight.
    My parents pay one of the relative to carry Yer. One of my sister
    who died in Thailand was so tire of walking saying that she can’t
    go on any longer. But she dragged along and made it to Thailand.

    There was gun shot going on and soldier were close to every
    where. If there was a gun shot, we were to look for a place to hide.
    On our trip to Thailand, there were many gun shots and instead of
    looking for a place to hide, my parents would dragged our hands
    or put us on their back and run for their lifes. When it gets too
    heavy, my parents would tossed some of their stuff away. Some of

    the things they had throw away are valuable to them, but our lives
    were more important to them than the stuffs.

    “You have had an exciting life!” wrote her teacher at the end of the essay.
    “Please watch verbs in the past tense.”

    The Lees’ “trip to Thailand,” which took place in 1979, was their
    second attempt to escape from Laos after the war. On their first attempt,
    in 1976, they and about forty other families from Houaysouy, with whom
    they were fleeing, were captured by Vietnamese soldiers on the third day
    of their journey, while they were hiding in an abandoned rice field. They
    were herded back to their village at gunpoint. “Even when our children
    had to go to the bathroom in the forest, they still held a gun at them, and
    the guns were as big as the children,” recalled Nao Kao. Phua, one of the
    Lee daughters, fell ill and died soon after their return. “At that time a lot
    of people were decaying and there wasn’t medicine, and so we didn’t
    have eight children anymore. We had seven.”

    The Lees spent three more years in Houaysouy, under intermittent
    guard. Like most Hmong villages in Sayaboury, Houaysouy had seen no
    fighting during the war, and none of its men had been recruited by Vang
    Pao. Sayaboury is the only province in Laos that lies west of the Mekong,
    and this natural barrier had isolated it from the prolonged warfare that
    destroyed hundreds of villages on the other side of the river. After the
    war, however, Houaysouy was tossed into the political melee along with
    the rest of the country. Because they were Hmong, the village’s residents
    were regarded as traitors and were systematically abused by the
    occupying forces from the former North Vietnam.

    “If you did anything,” said Nao Kao, “the Vietnamese would kill you.
    If you stole a knife or food, they would call the citizens to come and
    watch and they would just shoot you right there. If you harvested three
    hundred buckets of rice in a year, the Vietnamese would take two
    hundred. If you had five chickens, they would take away four and leave
    you one. The Vietnamese would give you only two yards of material”—
    here Foua interrupted, saying, “and it wasn’t good material!”—“to make
    clothes for the whole family. I ask you, if it is like this, how do you

    divide that cloth between ten people?”
    In the spring of 1979, the Lees’ infant son, Yee, died of starvation.

    “My little baby was cold and hungry and I was hungry too,” said Foua. “I
    didn’t have anything to eat, and the baby just ate my milk, and I didn’t
    have any more milk. I just held him like this and he died in my arms.”

    One month later, the Lees, along with about four hundred other
    members of the Lee, Yang, Vang, and Xiong clans, decided to try to
    escape again. This was the journey May described in her essay.

    “The saddest thing was that I had a couple of really beautiful horses,”
    said Nao Kao, “and I had to just take the rope off and let them go in the
    forest and I never knew whether they were alive or not. Then we just left.
    We had bought a lot of guns and hidden them, and the young men would
    walk in the front and the side, and they would hold the guns. The
    Vietnamese found out that we were running away. They started to burn all
    around us so we couldn’t walk. The flames were as high as our house here
    in Merced. Some fires were in the front and some fires were in the back,
    and the children were really scared. But some people were really brave
    and they just jumped through the flames and somehow we survived. After
    we crossed the fire, the Vietnamese thought we were taking the usual
    route where most Hmong go, and they planted some mines in the ground.
    But we went a different way, and the Vietnamese walked into their own
    trap and they got hurt. We carried the babies and when we came to steep
    mountains we tied ropes to the children and the old people and we pulled
    them up. It was cold and the children were hungry. I was very scared
    because we had a lot of children and it would be easy for the soldiers to
    kill them. Some other people who came from our village just before us,
    two of their little children started running across a rice field, and the
    Vietnamese shot them, I don’t know how many times they shot them, but
    their heads were all squashed.” After twenty-six days on foot, the Lees
    crossed the border into Thailand, where they spent a year in two refugee
    camps before being cleared to emigrate to the United States. Their
    daughter Ge, whom May described in her essay as being “so tire of
    walking saying that she can’t go on any longer,” died in the first camp.

    The Lees never considered staying in Laos. They and the 150,000

    other Hmong who fled to Thailand after the war were exercising the
    immemorial Hmong preference for flight, resistance, or death over
    persecution and assimilation. The Hmong rapidly learned that because
    most of them had either supported the United States or attempted to
    remain neutral, the Lao People’s Democratic Republic viewed them as
    enemies of the state. (The twenty percent who had supported the
    communist cause were rewarded with soft treatment and, in some cases,
    government positions. To teach a lesson on the importance of
    subordinating ethnicity to party principles, some were selected to execute
    pro-American Hmong prisoners.) Three weeks after General Vang Pao
    was airlifted to Thailand, nearly 40,000 Hmong men, women, and
    children marched toward Vientiane. Some say they hoped to cross the
    Mekong River and rejoin their leader; others say they planned to ask the
    Vientiane government for guarantees of security. Outside the town of Hin
    Heup, Pathet Lao troops opened fire on several hundred of these Hmong
    while they were crossing a narrow bridge over the Nam Lik River. At
    least four were killed by gunfire or drowning. Dozens were wounded.
    When he heard about the Hin Heup Massacre, former Prime Minister
    Souvanna Phouma, a neutralist who was kept on as an “adviser” to the
    new government, is said to have remarked to a foreign diplomat, “The
    Meo [Hmong] have served me well. It is unfortunate that the price of
    peace in Laos is their liquidation.”

    One afternoon in Merced, I was invited to tea at the small, spartan
    apartment of Blia Yao Moua, the Hmong leader who had arranged my
    first meeting with the Lees. Blia’s father was the chao muong, or
    administrative leader, of the city of Xieng Khouang. He was assassinated,
    presumably by the Pathet Lao, when Blia was nine. Two of Blia’s
    brothers died during the war. I asked Blia what had happened to the
    Hmong after the war was lost. In polished but idiosyncratic English—like
    Jonas Vangay, he had learned it after he was fluent in Hmong, Lao, Thai,
    and French—he replied, “People from the Western sphere cannot
    understand what it was like. In the new vision of the country of Laos,
    there is no reason to let the Hmong live. If you don’t agree with the
    Pathet Lao, they can kill you just like a pig or a chicken. They try to force

    you down to the lowlands. If you don’t go, they would kill the animals
    and burn everything in your village: your house, your rice, your cornstalk.
    They separate Hmong families and send the kids far away from the
    parents. They make you change your name so there would be no more
    clan names. They tell you to stop speaking Hmong. You are not supposed
    to practice Hmong rituals. When I was a boy, my mother would call in
    the txiv neeb whenever we were sick, even if it was just a headache, but
    after the war, anybody that would do that, security would hear about it,
    and a few days later they would come to take you to a kind of meeting,
    and ask you the reason, and if your explanations are too rightist, they
    would take you away. They wanted Hmong culture to disappear. But the
    Hmong cannot be assimilated. The Chinese cannot assimilate the Hmong.
    The Pathet Lao cannot assimilate the Hmong. After two thousand years
    we can still say we are Hmong.”

    The Lees consider themselves fortunate to have been permitted to
    return to their village after their capture in 1976, even if living conditions
    were miserable. Many highland Hmong were forcibly relocated to
    lowland or plateau areas, where they were assigned to state-owned
    collective farms. The traditional Hmong fear of the lowlands proved
    justified. Resettled families frequently contracted tropical diseases to
    which they had not previously been exposed—particularly malaria, which
    is borne by mosquitoes that cannot survive at high elevations. In highland
    villages that were left intact, any Hmong who was found practicing slash-
    and-burn agriculture was arrested. Most villages were infiltrated by
    Pathet Lao soldiers. “Very politely, one who seemed to be the leader
    would ask each Hmong family to shelter, by turns, two of their comrades
    who ‘only want to serve you,’” wrote the Hmong scholar Yang Dao.

    But the Hmong soon realized that the two Pathet Lao placed in
    their family had as their sole mission to watch them day and
    night…. Soon the husband did not dare talk to his wife, nor the
    parents to their children. The two Pathet Lao were listening to
    every word and spying on every move. Nobody could trust
    anybody. From time to time, the people would be awakened in the

    middle of the night and the houses searched under the pretense
    that a “reactionary” was hiding there. Then the husband or the son
    was led away, a gun against his back, to an unknown destination.

    The unknown destination was often a “seminar camp” near the Lao-
    Vietnamese border. Seminar camps, which combined forced labor and
    political indoctrination, were not reserved for the Hmong, although many
    Hmong who had held government positions or worked for American
    agencies were sent there, some for years. More than 10,000 Lao
    intellectuals, civil servants, teachers, businessmen, military and police
    officers, and other suspected royalist sympathizers were also interned in
    camps, as well as the king, the queen, and the crown prince, all three of
    whom died there. The prisoners cleared land, tilled fields, felled trees,
    built roads, and were hitched like animals to plows. Some of them were
    also forced, at gunpoint, to search for and remove unexploded cluster-
    bombs.

    “I know two people who were sent to seminar camps,” Blia Yao Moua
    told me. “One of them my wife and I asked him to lunch here in Merced.
    He don’t want to eat. It is very strange because he was hungry for many
    years. One day when he’s working in the camp he sees a lizard. He picks
    it up very fast because if a guard sees you do that he would hit you to
    death. He puts it in his pocket and when no one is watching he gets it out
    and eats it immediately. He’s very happy. That lizard is fresh meat! He
    told me that story. That man, every day he had to sign a confession
    accepting you are wrong by collaborating with the Americans. Every day
    his confession became better. After two years, three years, five years, that
    speech became part of himself. Before he was in the camp he had a very
    strong personality. After ten years it changed him. The camp has
    completely broken his personality.”

    While two or three thousand Hmong were being “reeducated” in
    Pathet Lao camps—an exercise in coerced submission that violated the
    core of the Hmong temper—tens of thousands were able to respond to the
    new regime in more characteristic Hmong fashion, through armed
    rebellion. After Vang Pao’s departure, former members of the Armée

    Clandestine organized a resistance movement based in the Phou Bia
    massif, the highest mountain range in Laos, south of the Plain of Jars. In
    late 1975, after Pathet Lao forces attacked a group of Hmong, mostly
    women and children, who were working in a Phou Bia field, Hmong
    rebels began a campaign of furious retaliation. Using weapons they had
    concealed in caves, they shot Pathet Lao soldiers, dynamited bridges,
    blocked roads, blew up food convoys, and—just as Hmong warriors in
    1772 had rolled boulders on the heads of the Chinese army in eastern
    Kweichow—pushed rocks off cliffs while enemy troops were walking
    below. Although nearly 50,000 Hmong died, Phou Bia did not fall until
    1978. Afterwards, Hmong guerrillas continued to live in the jungles along
    both sides of the Lao-Thai border, crossing back and forth between the
    two countries, launching irregular raids on the Lao People’s Army. Most
    of the rebels belonged to a messianic group called Chao Fa (Lords of the
    Sky), led by Pa Kao Her, a former Vang Pao lieutenant who had broken
    ranks; some belonged to Neo Hom (the United Laotian National
    Liberation Front), a group founded in the United States and headed by
    Vang Pao.* Sporadic resistance by both groups—each of which has
    dwindled from thousands of guerrillas to three or four hundred—
    continues to this day, more than two decades after the war’s official
    conclusion.

    The most widespread Hmong response to the terrors of postwar Laos,
    however, was migration: the same problem-solving strategy that had
    moved them around China for more than three millennia and then,
    starting at the beginning of the nineteenth century, had brought them to
    Laos. Most feared retribution, though some were motivated more
    immediately by famine, the consequence both of nationwide resource
    scarcity and of the increasing Hmong dependence, toward the end of the
    war, on American rice drops, handouts in resettlement sites, and soldiers’
    wages. For nearly 10,000 Hmong, there were no crops to harvest. (Some
    of the Hmong who left because they were starving were later stigmatized
    as undeserving “economic migrants” rather than legitimate political
    refugees.) In June of 1975, the Vientiane Domestic Service, the capital’s
    official radio station, broadcast the government’s interpretation of the

    mass Hmong decampment: “With the collusion of the Thai reactionary
    clique, the U.S. imperialists have now forced the Meo tribesmen to flee
    from Laos into Thailand. The aim of such an evacuation is not based on
    the so-called humanitarian basis, but is to exploit their labor at cheap
    prices and to foster them as their henchmen so that they can be sent back
    to Laos to sabotage peace in this country in the future.”

    Every Hmong refugee has an exodus story. In the hierarchy of good
    fortune, my interpreter, May Ying Xiong, and her family, along with the
    families of other military officers airlifted from Long Tieng, ranked at
    the top. All they had to do was leave behind every relative who did not
    belong to their immediate family as well as virtually everything they
    owned, and, overnight, trade the high status they had enjoyed in Laos for
    a communal dormitory in a Thai refugee camp, where one bed was
    provided for their family of eight, and they stood in long lines for every
    meal, holding bowls for their rations of rice. “You were so lucky!” I
    heard Nao Kao tell May Ying one night, when they were comparing their
    postwar experiences. A notch further down—an option for only a few
    privileged families—was escaping from Vientiane or another urban area
    by “taxi,” which meant forking over one’s life savings to a Lao driver
    who, along with his passengers, might or might not be arrested before
    reaching the Thai border.

    Most Hmong walked. Some traveled in small extended-family bands,
    others in convoys of up to 8,000 people. I never heard of a Hmong who
    fled alone. In the first months after the fall of Long Tieng, when Pathet
    Lao efforts to block the Hmong hegira were still disorganized, it was
    sometimes possible to drive one’s livestock along major trails. “Those
    people could just kill their animals along the way, so they didn’t starve,”
    Nao Kao told me. “They took it really easy.” Later groups followed tiger
    and elephant trails, or steered clear of established routes altogether,
    walking the ridgelines whenever they could in order to avoid mines and
    detection. Most families, like the Lees, took about a month to reach
    Thailand, though some lived in the forests for two years or more, moving
    constantly to evade capture, sleeping under bamboo leaves, subsisting on
    game (though that soon became scarce), fruit, roots, bamboo shoots, the

    pith of trees, and insects. Desperate to fill their stomachs, some people
    chopped up their sweat-soaked clothes, mixed them with water and salt,
    and ate them. They lit fires only at night, so the smoke would not be
    visible. Sometimes they used fox fire—luminescent rotting wood—to
    light their way in the dark.

    Many people carried children on their backs. The babies presented a
    potentially fatal problem: they made noise. Silence was so essential that
    one Hmong woman, now living in Wisconsin, recalled that her son, who
    was a month old when the family left their home village, didn’t know a
    single word when they arrived in Thailand two years later, because no one
    had talked during that entire period except in occasional whispers. Nearly
    every Hmong family I met in Merced had a story to tell about a baby—a
    relative’s child, a neighbor’s child, a member of the group they escaped
    with—who had been drugged with opium. “When the babies would cry,”
    a young mother named Yia Thao Xiong told me, “we would mix the
    opium in water in a cup and give it to them so they would be quiet and the
    soldiers would not hear, because if they heard the babies, they would kill
    all of us. Usually the baby just went to sleep. But if you give too much by
    mistake, the baby dies. That happened many many times.” When I heard
    these stories, I recalled something I had once read about an Israeli child,
    hiding from Palestinian terrorists, who, when she began to cry, was
    accidentally smothered to death by her mother. That death, in 1979, was
    said to have driven the entire Israeli nation into mourning. The horror of
    the opium overdoses was not only that such things happened to the
    Hmong, but that they happened so frequently that, far from driving a
    nation into mourning, they never made headlines, never caught the
    world’s ear, never reached beyond a community of families that numbly
    accepted them as a fact of life.

    Sometimes worse things happened. When I asked Nao Kao about the
    boy with the scar on his forehead whom May Lee had mentioned in her
    eighth-grade essay, he said, “You had to be very quiet. The father of that
    little baby tried to kill him so he wouldn’t cry and everyone would get
    killed. He had a slash on his head. Somebody saved him and now he is
    living in Merced.”

    Able-bodied adults usually took turns carrying the elderly, the sick,
    and the wounded until they were no longer able to do so. At that point, by
    a process of agonizing triage, the burdensome relatives were left by the
    side of the trail, usually with a little food and a little opium. People who
    died en route were left to rot. It was too dangerous to take time to bury
    them. To understand what these choices were like, it is important to
    remember that the Hmong revere their elders, and also that the soul of
    anyone who is not accorded the proper funerary rites—being washed,
    dressed in special clothes, honored with animal sacrifices, verbally
    guided back to the place where one’s placenta is buried, lamented with
    death drum and qeej, and laid to rest in a hand-hewn coffin on the
    shoulder of a sloping mountain—is doomed to an eternity of restless
    wandering. Jonas Vangay said, “Not to bury the dead is terrible. Not to
    carry your relatives is terrible. It is the worst thing in the world to have
    the responsibility to choose between you and them.”

    On their way to Thailand, Hmong families walked through abandoned
    villages and untended fields. They passed piles of jewelry, silver bars,
    and embroidered garments—Foua discarded her entire dowry of paj
    ntaub—which previous refugees had jettisoned. They also passed many
    decomposing corpses. Dang Moua, a Merced businessman whose family
    lived during their three-week journey on birds he shot with a homemade
    crossbow and poison-tipped bamboo arrows, saw dozens of ragged
    orphaned children in the forest, eating leaves and dirt. He gave them food
    but walked on past. His wife found a baby, less than a year old, trying to
    nurse from the breast of its dead mother. They walked past it, too.

    Because Houaysouy was west of the Mekong River, the Lees were
    able to cross the Thai border on foot. Farther south, the Mekong, which is
    up to a mile wide, forms the Lao-Thai boundary for more than five
    hundred miles. Most Hmong refugees had to cross it. “The Mekong River
    is ten times bigger than the Merced River,” said Jonas Vangay. “So how
    do you cross? Most Hmong people do not swim. If you have money
    maybe you can pay Lao for a boat. You can hold a tree branch. Bamboo
    floats better than wood, so you can lash it together, but later on all the
    bamboo is gone because people have already cut it down, and you have to

    carry it all the way down from the mountains. Crossing this river,
    everyone here in the United States continue to dream of that nightmare.”

    Some people attempted to float across the Mekong with bamboo
    stalks placed under their armpits, on banana-wood rafts, or in inner tubes
    purchased from Lao traders. The inner tubes were hard to find and very
    expensive, because the Pathet Lao border patrol killed people who sold
    them. Many babies and small children who had survived the journey this
    far drowned while crossing the river strapped to their parents’ backs.
    Their bodies were left in the Mekong. “A few [Hmong refugees] manage
    to bring empty plastic gallon containers, still others inflate ordinary
    grocery plastic bags,” wrote Dominica Garcia, a doctor working in a Thai
    refugee camp, in a 1978 letter to the director of the International Rescue
    Committee. “It is not unusual to find these survivors clinging to their
    makeshift ‘life-savers’ even long after they have been in the detention
    centers. They carry them up to the hospital wards where they finally get
    proper treatment.”

    One resident of Merced was sixteen years old when he and his
    extended family reached the Mekong. They were able to obtain a boat
    large enough to hold half their party. He and another adult crossed the
    river first, bringing all the children. The other man paddled the boat back
    to the Lao side and picked up the rest of the adults. On the return trip,
    when the boat was halfway across the river, the border patrol sank the
    boat and fired on the passengers. From the Thai shore, the teenager and
    the children watched their parents, uncles, and aunts all die from bullets
    and drowning.

    Dang Moua’s cousin Moua Kee once unsuccessfully tried to procure
    federal disability benefits for a mentally disturbed Hmong woman in
    Merced who, a decade earlier, had attempted to cross the Mekong with a
    party of 170 people. “They wait for the sun to go down and do a night
    crossing,” he explained, “and then, one group of Pathet Lao open three
    machine gun. This lady, she saw more than twenty people fall down and
    die in one place, and one of them was her husband. I think she is sick now
    because maybe she saw too many trouble.”

    One afternoon, when Blia Yao Moua and I were chatting, as we had

    on many previous occasions, I happened to make a casual remark about
    the cohesiveness of Hmong society. He said, “Yes, if a person outside the
    community see a Hmong person, they look that way. But inside they have
    guilt. Many feelings of guilt. You go from the north of Laos and then you
    go across the Mekong, and when the Pathet Lao soldiers fire, you do not
    think about your family, just yourself only. When you are on the other
    side, you will not be like what you were before you get through the
    Mekong. On the other side you cannot say to your wife, I love you more
    than my life. She saw! You cannot say that anymore! And when you try to
    restick this thing together it is like putting glue on a broken glass.”

    An unknowable fraction of the Hmong who attempted to flee Laos—
    some survivors estimate it was half, some much less—died en route,
    from Pathet Lao and Vietnamese bullets and mines, as well as from
    disease, starvation, exposure, snakebite, tiger maulings, poisoning by
    toxic plants, and drowning. Most of those who reached Thailand ended
    up, often after being robbed and occasionally after being raped by Thai
    bandits, in district police stations. From there, they were sent to refugee
    camps. When they arrived, eighty percent were found to be suffering
    from malnutrition, malaria, anemia, and infections, especially of the feet.

    At first, the Hmong were placed in a string of makeshift camps near
    the Lao border. Officially speaking, because Thailand had not signed the
    1951 Geneva Convention on the status of refugees, they were illegal
    immigrants, but the Thai government was willing to grant them
    temporary residency as long as other nations paid the bills and promised
    them permanent asylum. Eventually most of the Hmong—who kept
    streaming across the Lao border until the early 1990s—were consolidated
    into one large camp in northeast Thailand, fifteen miles south of the
    Mekong River. At its peak, in 1986, the Ban Vinai camp had 42,858
    inhabitants, of which about ninety percent were Hmong. It was the largest
    Hmong settlement in history, larger even than Long Tieng, General Vang
    Pao’s former military base. Ban Vinai was, in effect, a large-scale
    charitable institution that continued the job, effectively begun by wartime
    rice drops, of eroding Hmong self-sufficiency. Depending on how you
    looked at it, life there was either a catastrophic deracination or a useful

    dress rehearsal for life in the American inner cities to which many of its
    inhabitants would ultimately relocate. Though it lacked electricity,
    running water, and sewage disposal, the camp was so densely populated
    that it was, in effect, urban. A 1986 survey by a Catholic relief agency
    concluded, “Like other poor urban communities, Ban Vinai has problems
    of inadequate health, overcrowding, welfare dependency, unemployment,
    substance abuse, prostitution, and anomie (suicide, abandonment,
    loneliness).” Jonas Vangay told me, “In Ban Vinai, you don’t have the
    right to do anything except get a ration of rice and beans, and go to your
    tent, and you do that for five or ten years. People were born and grew up
    there. The young ones play soccer and volleyball. The elderly person just
    sleep day and night, they just wait and see and wait and eat and wait and
    die and wait and die.”

    According to Dwight Conquergood, the enthusiastic ethnographer
    from the International Rescue Committee who organized the Ban Vinai
    Rabies Parade, the camp officials tended to hold the Hmong responsible
    for their own dependence, poor health, and lack of cleanliness. “Instead
    of seeing the Hmong as struggling within a constraining context of
    historical, political, and economic forces that have reduced them from
    proud, independent, mountain people to landless refugees, the Hmong are
    blamed for their miserable condition,” he observed. Conquergood was
    astonished at how violently most of the other Westerners at the camp
    disliked the Hmong, whom he liked very much. He wrote:

    I began to collect the phrases used regularly to describe the
    Hmong by agency officials who worked in Ban Vinai. The word I
    heard most often was “filthy,” followed closely by “dirty,” and
    often part of a cluster of terms that included “scabies,”
    “abscesses,” “feces,” and “piles of garbage.” A phrase regularly
    employed to cover a multitude of perceived sanitation sins was
    the following, “They’re one step out of the Stone Age, you know.”
    A meaning-packed word heard about the Hmong almost every day
    was “difficult,” and its ramified derivatives: “difficult to work
    with,” “the most difficult group,” “set in their ways,” “rigid,”

    “stubborn,” “you cannot get through to them,” “backward.” One
    dedicated humanitarian agency employee who had worked with
    the Hmong for several years told me that “the hand of God is on
    this place,” but as for the Hmong living here, “they’re a fearful
    lot…you cannot work with them.”

    Conquergood believed that this focus on “dirtiness” and “difficulty” was
    actually “an expression of Western expatriates’ uneasiness when
    confronted with Difference, the Other. A Western aid official’s encounter
    with the Hmong is a confrontation with radical difference—in
    cosmology, worldview, ethos, texture of life…. Unfortunately, as [the
    French critic] Tzvetan Todorov reminds us, ‘The first, spontaneous
    reaction with regard to the stranger is to imagine him as inferior, since he
    is different from us.’”

    Most of the people who made those disparaging comments about the
    Hmong came from the United States, to which the majority of the
    inhabitants of Ban Vinai eventually emigrated. About 10,000 Hmong
    resettled in France, Canada, Australia, Argentina, French Guiana, and
    elsewhere; but because of their American military ties and because Vang
    Pao had already established residence in Montana, they preferred the
    United States by a huge margin. In 1975, the U.S. was willing to admit
    fewer than 300 Hmong—mostly army officers and their families—but
    both the quotas and the eligibility requirements were liberalized over the
    years, with about 25,000 Hmong admitted in 1980 alone. As with
    Vietnamese and Cambodian refugees, the best-educated Hmong and Lao
    came to America in the first wave of immigration and the least-educated
    in later waves. Because for several years the U.S. refused to accept
    extended family groups of more than eight people, but did not limit the
    size of nuclear families, the Hmong, none of whom had birth certificates,
    grew accustomed to lying when they were interviewed by immigration
    officials. Second wives became daughters or sisters; nieces and nephews
    became daughters and sons.

    According to the office of the United Nations High Commissioner for
    Refugees, which supervised Ban Vinai, every refugee problem has three

    possible “durable solutions”: local integration, voluntary repatriation, and
    resettlement in another country. Thailand, which was buffeted
    simultaneously by refugees from Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia,
    emphatically rejected the first solution. The Hmong emphatically
    rejected the second solution. In 1981, they also began to reject the third
    solution, leading Ban Vinai to become a kind of never-ending camp, or,
    as one U.S. refugee official termed it, “a non-durable non-solution.” In
    1984, Eric E. Morris, the U.N. deputy refugee representative in Thailand,
    said in bewilderment, “This is a unique situation historically. The Hmong
    are the first refugees we know who were offered resettlement and in large
    numbers simply turned it down.” Some of them worried that the Hmong
    resistance movement in Laos, which was fueled by manpower and
    leadership in Ban Vinai, as well as by money funneled through the camp
    from refugees in the United States, would collapse if they left Asia. Most
    of them, however, had heard rumors about life in America from earlier
    immigrants, and were just plain scared: of tenements, of urban violence,
    of welfare dependence, of never being able to farm again, of being
    forbidden to sacrifice animals, of being thrown in jail if their
    grandfathers smoked opium, of ogres, of dinosaurs, and—as they made
    clear during the notorious 1982 meeting on the Ban Vinai soccer field—
    of doctors who ate the livers, kidneys, and brains of Hmong patients.

    Ban Vinai started to look pretty good. It may have been dirty,
    crowded, and disease-ridden, but culturally it was still powerfully
    Hmong. Women sewed paj ntaub (though some of them forsook the old
    motifs of elephant’s feet and ram’s horns for embroidered soldiers with
    bayonets); men made jewelry (though when silver was unavailable some
    of them melted down discarded aluminum cans); many families raised
    chickens or tended small vegetable plots. Most compellingly, according
    to Dwight Conquergood,

    no matter where you go in the camp, at almost any hour of the day
    or night, you can simultaneously hear two or three performances,
    from simple storytelling and folksinging to elaborate collective
    ritual performances for the dead…including drumming, stylized

    lamentation, ritual chanting, manipulation of funerary artifacts,
    incense, fire, dancing, and animal sacrifice. Nearly every morning
    I was awakened before dawn by the drumming and ecstatic
    chanting of performing shamans.

    The older a Hmong was, the less willing he or she was to leave. “At the
    camp, the cultural tradition was still there,” Blia Yao Moua told me.
    “There was patrilineage. Children still listened to Grandpa. What is the
    good to go over there to America if all that change? And a lot of elderly
    people, though they never, never say it openly to strangers, what really
    haunt them is they are afraid in America they will not have a good funeral
    ceremony and a good grave, and that is more important than any other
    thing in the world.”

    Thailand closed Ban Vinai in 1992. Its 11,500 inhabitants were told
    they absolutely, positively had only two choices: to apply for
    resettlement in another country, or to return to Laos. As an interim
    measure, the resettlers were to move to one camp, and the repatriators to
    another. Panic ensued. Hmong who for more than a decade had resisted
    coming to the United States now decided it was the safer of two abhorrent
    options—and then were rejected. With the support of the United States,
    where anti-immigrant sentiment was gathering steam, the Thai
    government and the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees
    instituted a new and more stringent set of eligibility requirements under
    which nearly 2,000 Hmong applicants were denied refugee status. Since
    1991, about 7,000 Hmong have uneasily returned to Laos, persuaded that
    repressive conditions there have slackened: no more forced
    collectivization, no more seminar camps. Although those who repatriate
    in groups are assigned to lowland sites, may not return to their home
    villages, and may not practice slash-and-burn agriculture, at least their
    families (or so they have been assured) will no longer be in danger. There
    have been reports, however—all of them denied by the Laotian, Thai, and
    U.S. governments and by the United Nations High Commissioner for
    Refugees—that some Hmong have been forced by Thai authorities to
    return to Laos against their will, and, once there, have been persecuted or

    killed.*
    More than 10,000 Hmong, most of them inhabitants of Ban Vinai,

    simply said no to both choices and fled—whether temporarily or
    permanently, no one knows—to the sanctified grounds of Wat Tham
    Krabok, a Buddhist monastery north of Bangkok. Surrounded by coercive
    pressures on all sides, they managed to find a way out, as they had done
    so many times before during their intransigent history, by moving in a
    direction none of their keepers could have predicted.

    Thai authorities were reportedly astonished that 10,000 Hmong had
    managed to slip through their fingers. They should have known better.
    For as long as there have been Hmong, there have been ways to get out of
    tight spots. In the greatest of all Hmong folktales, Shee Yee, a healer and
    magician who was the forerunner of today’s txiv neebs, was once
    ambushed by nine evil dab brothers who ate human flesh and drank their
    blood. In the version collected by Charles Johnson, the brothers lay in
    wait for Shee Yee at a mountain crossroads where nine paths led to every
    corner of the earth, and where the rocks looked like tigers and dragons.
    When the brothers transformed themselves into water buffalos, so did
    Shee Yee. When they tossed him on their horns, he changed back into a
    man, and he chopped them into small pieces with his magical saber.
    When the pieces joined together and came back to life, he turned into a
    cloud and mounted high in the sky. When the brothers became a strong
    wind, Shee Yee became a drop of water. When one of the brothers
    became a leaf that would catch the drop of water, he became a deer, and
    he ran into the forest. The brothers became wolves, and they chased Shee
    Yee until the sun was low in the western sky, hanging at the edge of the
    earth. Eight of the brothers were too tired to go on, but the oldest one kept
    running. When Shee Yee saw an abandoned rat’s burrow, he changed
    himself into a rat. The oldest brother turned into a cat, and waited at the
    edge of the burrow. Shee Yee changed into a caterpillar with stinging
    fuzz, and the cat spat him back into the hole. As he waited in the hole,
    Shee Yee got angrier and angrier. When the cat fell asleep, Shee Yee
    turned himself into a very tiny red ant. Quickly and fiercely, he bit the cat
    on the testicle. Then he went home to his wife.

    13

    Code X

    The night the Lees told me about their postwar experiences, I remember
    saying, because I did not know what to say, “That must have been
    terrible.” And Foua gave me a brief, opaque look, and said, “Yes, it was
    very sad. But when we were running from Laos at least we hoped that our
    lives would be better. It was not as sad as after Lia went to Fresno and got
    sick.”

    At first I thought I had misunderstood her. In Laos, Foua and Nao Kao
    had lost three children in three years. They had dodged bullets, land
    mines, and walls of fire. They had left their village behind, and then their
    country, knowing they would never see them again. How could anything,
    even the catastrophic illness of their favorite child, be worse than that?
    But I had not misunderstood her. Violence, starvation, destitution, exile,
    and death were, however horrific, within the sphere of known, or at least
    conceivable, tragedies. What had happened to Lia was outside that
    sphere.

    After eleven days in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Valley
    Children’s Hospital, Lia was transferred to MCMC by ambulance on
    December 5, 1986. She was examined by Dave Schneider, a second-year
    resident with a reputation for being brainy and nervous. In his
    examination note, Dave described Lia as “a comatose, overweight
    Laotian girl” whose admitting diagnoses were:

    1. Severe hypoxic brain damage.
    2. Pseudomonas septicemia.

    3. Severe seizure disorder.
    4. Status post disseminated intravascular coagulation.
    5. Status post septic shock.

    “I was on Peds rotation,” Dave recalled, “and when I heard Lia Lee
    was coming back from Fresno, basically brain-dead, my heart sank. I
    didn’t know the family very well, but I’d heard that they were
    noncompliant and difficult. Everyone had. I still have this vision of Lia
    when she got here, just lying in the bed and not looking anything like she
    used to. She was very hot and febrile, her eyes were partially rolled back
    into her head, and she was breathing irregularly and way too fast. She had
    a lot of mucus and junk in her throat, but it was almost impossible to
    suction her because her jaw muscles were clamped shut. She wasn’t
    making anything in the way of purposeful movements. Her legs were
    extended and her arms were alternating between being extended and
    flexed up to her chest, which is a sign of very weird and ominous stuff
    going on in the motor strip of the cerebral cortex. She did withdraw from
    painful stimuli, like when I squeezed tightly on her fingernail beds.
    Patients usually tell you to get the hell away when you do that. Lia
    couldn’t tell me to go to hell, though on some level I’m sure she wished I
    would.”

    Lia was admitted to the pediatric unit. “I remember the first time I
    went up to see her,” said Peggy Philp. “She was awful. Lia had been a real
    cute little kid—I mean, she had bad seizures, but she was so alive—and
    now, she was just…well, there. But not peaceful and asleep-looking, like
    you might expect with a coma. I mean, it would be one thing if she lay
    there like Sleeping Beauty, all pretty and comfortable, but she didn’t. She
    seemed to be in pain. She’d stiffen whenever you touched her. She was
    struggling. She made terrible, loud noises when she breathed”—Peggy
    demonstrated with a torturous rattling wheeze—“and I kept thinking,
    God, she can’t go on like this, this is exhausting her, she is going to wear
    herself out and die any minute. I remember being real angry at Hutch”—
    Terry Hutchison, Lia’s neurologist in Fresno—“you know, God, you sent

    me this?”
    When Peggy finished talking, I turned to Neil to ask what his

    impressions had been. He shifted uneasily in his chair. “Well, I didn’t see
    her right away. I knew she’d been transferred back to our care to die.
    There she was, and that was what I had been afraid of, and I was just so—
    I mean, that episode in the emergency room burnt me out, it emotionally
    drained me, and facing Lia was real difficult for me at that point.”

    “So I took care of her,” interjected Peggy.
    “You did. I mean, you probably took care of her almost exclusively. I

    probably chose to avoid it a little bit. More than a little bit. I chose to
    avoid it. I have to admit, I bailed out.”

    It took Neil three days, walking past Lia’s room innumerable times,
    before he could bring himself to look at the patient who had dominated
    his professional life and his private thoughts for much of four years. I
    asked him what he found when he finally saw her.

    “She was in a vegetative state. But that was one angry vegetable.”
    Calling Lia a vegetable was, it seemed to me, just one more form of

    avoidance. In describing what had happened to her, he and Peggy both
    used the kinds of terms favored by the doctors in MASH, gallows-humor
    slang wielded in times of extreme stress on the theory that if you laugh at
    something it can’t break your heart. “Lia got gorked.” “She crumped.”
    “She fried her brain.” “She vegged out.” “She crapped out.” “She went to
    hell.” “No one’s at home, the lights are out.”

    The first Nurse’s Note after Lia’s admission read: “Pulse rate fast at
    130 & has a temp of 102°. Offers no recognition or acknowledgment. N/G
    tube in place.” Then, without comment: “Family in room and Shaman
    performing a ceremony.”

    When I asked Gloria Rodriguez, Lia’s nurse during that shift, about
    that note, she said, “Oh yeah, they had a medicine man come in. He
    brought some kind of white ointment, and they chanted and rubbed it all
    over Lia. It smelled like vodka and herbs. I remember her mom wouldn’t
    let us give her a bath because that would take off the white stuff.”

    In any case, Foua preferred to care for her daughter herself. She sat by
    Lia’s bed around the clock. “Mother encouraged to hold child while

    linens changed,” noted a nurse. “Mother stroking & chanting to child.”
    The nurses showed her how to apply Vaseline to Lia’s cracked lips, rub
    Desitin on her diaper rash, cool her forehead with a moist washcloth,
    suction her secretions, and feed her formula through a nasogastric tube.
    Once, Foua and Nao Kao brought in an herbal remedy—“a thick, stringy,
    gooey, gross, green liquid,” as Peggy remembered it—and tried to feed it
    to Lia. When they realized Lia couldn’t swallow, they decided to pour it
    down the nasogastric tube, and Peggy, certain Lia would die anyway,
    instructed the nurses to let them do so.

    The Hmong New Year, a multi-day holiday that is traditionally
    celebrated in the twelfth month of the year, starting at first cock crow on
    the first day of the waxing moon, happened to fall during Lia’s stay at
    MCMC. It is the most important and merriest holiday of the Hmong year,
    a time to banish harmful dabs, ask for the assistance of benevolent
    household spirits, summon home the souls of dead ancestors, and, in
    general, secure good fortune for the coming year. It is also a time to
    dance, sing, play courting games, and dress in embroidered finery, which,
    even in America, many Hmong women start sewing months in advance. It
    is thought that anyone who wears old clothes at New Year’s will bring
    poverty on the family. That year, Foua had made new paj ntaub for all her
    daughters, using Thai cloth worked with American thread and decorated
    with antique Indochinese coins. She showed these garments to me once.
    Lia’s skirt was by far the fanciest, with embroidered stripes of pink,
    green, and black, and pleats so numerous and fine they looked like the
    gills of a mushroom. “These are the clothes Lia was going to wear,” she
    told me. “They were the most beautiful clothes because we loved her so
    much. No one else is allowed to wear them because they are Lia’s and
    only Lia’s. I made them because I thought Lia was going to be up and
    running around our house at New Year’s, but she got sick instead, so she
    didn’t wear them, and it was the only time in our lives that we ever
    missed the New Year’s celebration.” May Lee said, “We didn’t do
    anything at New Year’s, not even the soul-calling ceremony, because the
    doctors told us Lia was going to die and my family was just crying all the
    time.”

    Instead, Foua brought a different set of clothes to the hospital: funeral
    garments. “It is Hmong culture to do that,” explained Nao Kao. “For us
    Hmong, if you don’t dress them up, then after they pass away, you always
    dream of them being naked. It is not really good to see a person naked, so
    we dress them in special clothes. Lia’s mother sewed them for her.” The
    special clothes were a black hat, a black jacket, and a high-waisted,
    appliquéd skirt. The nurses told Foua that Lia couldn’t actually wear the
    jacket, since they needed access to her upper body, so at first Foua laid it
    over her daughter’s hospital gown. Later, when the nurses were out of the
    room, she disobeyed instructions and dressed Lia properly.

    Lia’s room was always crowded with siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts,
    and members of the Lee and Yang clans who had traveled from out of
    town to join what one Nurse’s Note called “the vigil.” Though some
    nurses did their best to be sympathetic, most were exasperated by the
    unremitting commotion. “Those people would all yak and raise their
    voices and gesticulate at each other,” recalled a nurse named Evelyn
    Marciel. “They were totally fed up with us. They’d ask us what were we
    doing? Why were we doing it? There wasn’t a question asked that hadn’t
    been answered ten times over. Anything we were doing was wrong.” Dee
    Korda also came frequently—Peggy remembers her sitting next to the
    bed crying—and Jeanine Hilt was there every day. “There was usually no
    interpreter,” Jeanine recalled, “but you know Foua and I communicated
    more through the soul anyway. We held each other a lot. When someone
    was there to translate, Foua and Nao Kao always talked about how much
    they loved Lia and how special she was to them. I told them how special
    she was to me too. The only thing I was thankful for is that it had not
    happened at the foster home. That had been my worst fear, that she would
    have a massive seizure in foster care. God, it could have happened so
    easily, and if it had they would have blamed me forever. It would have
    had ramifications throughout the Hmong community: CPS steals children
    and they die.”

    On Lia’s second day back at MCMC, Nao Kao demanded that Lia’s
    subclavian line—a central intravenous line placed with great difficulty at
    Valley Children’s Hospital—be removed, and all her medications

    discontinued. Peggy noted in Lia’s Progress Record:

    I held a long discussion with both parents through aid of an
    interpreter. CPS worker Jeanine Hilt was present. Parents
    understand that the antibiotics are fighting a severe infection and
    that without medication Lia may get her infection back and die
    sooner. They understand that once we remove IV, a new line will
    NOT be replaced. They understand and still refuse medication.
    Therefore, meds & IV will be withdrawn.

    “The impression I had,” recalled Peggy, “was that they wanted Lia to be
    peaceful and not be persecuted anymore. Basically, they wanted her to die
    with dignity.” Peggy was mistaken. She thought that Foua and Nao Kao
    wanted to withdraw the medicines because they were artificially
    prolonging Lia’s life. In fact, though the Lees believed Lia was so sick
    she might die, they wanted to stop treatment because they thought it was
    the medicines that were killing her.

    After the IV line was taken out, Foua and Nao Kao announced that
    they wanted to take Lia home. Her brain damage had fouled up the
    homeostatic mechanisms that regulated her body temperature, and she
    was spiking fevers as high as 107.4°, which is potentially fatal. Peggy
    therefore informed the Lees that Lia needed to stay at MCMC for a few
    days of observation. “I was sure she was dying,” she recalled, “but that’s
    the quandary of Western medicine, that you can’t let people die.”
    Concerned that Lia be kept comfortable during her final days, Jeanine
    wrote the following memo:

    To: Ernst – Philp
    From: Hilt
    Re: Lia going home

    Before we let Lia go home, let’s reevaluate the family’s desire to
    do this…Are they physically, emotionally and financially able to
    take this on? Do they have a bed, linen, prescribed food,

    stethoscope, pampers etc. etc. on hand? They must have all this,
    plus Home Health nursing in place before I’m ready to say ok. Are
    you convinced that they can feed Lia properly? Have they
    accurately demonstrated their understanding and skill? Will they
    feed her every four hours?

    By December 9, Jeanine and Peggy had arranged for home nursing visits
    and for all the necessary supplies, including a suction machine to clear
    Lia’s secretions and, as Dave Schneider noted, “a large supply of diapers
    as child is incontinent and presently having diarrhea.” A nurse wrote the
    following discharge instructions:

    1. Glassrock Health Services will be by at 8:00 p.m. tonight. Give
    them prescription.

    2. Make sure to come to Clinic this Thursday Dec. 11 at 8:00
    a.m.

    3. Keep egg crate mattress pad on at all times.
    4. Turn her every 2 hours so she does not get infected bedsores.
    5. Suction her as often as necessary.

    Diet instructions: Feed [formula] every 4 hours during daytime (5
    feedings a day)—10 ounces 5 times a day. All foods or medicines
    go down tube.

    Foua didn’t understand the instructions, and in any case had no intention
    of giving Lia medicines or anything else through a nasogastric tube
    (which was intended to circumvent Lia’s impaired sucking and gag
    reflexes and keep food from going down her trachea). Nonetheless, she
    signed the line that read, “These instructions have been explained to me
    and I understand them.” Her signature—just as it had been when she
    signed the discharge papers after Lia’s birth at MCMC four and a half
    years earlier—was the single word FOUAYANG.

    At some point that day, Nao Kao was also asked to sign something. It

    is not included in Lia’s chart, so no one knows exactly what it was,
    although it probably had to do with the Lees’ decision to withdraw her
    from MCMC. It is likely that Nao Kao was told that in two hours, after
    the discharge paperwork was completed, she would be released, and he
    could take her home to die. His interpretation was somewhat different. He
    recalled, “One person gives Lia medicine”—this was probably Tylenol
    for her fever, which the Nurse’s Notes indicate that “father
    refused”—“and then another person comes and has a paper on a clipboard
    and makes me sign and says that in two hours, Lia is going to die. They
    weren’t fixing her. I thought even if they fix her she is going to die here,
    and if they don’t fix her, she is going to die here, so I might as well just
    bring her home right now so the older children can see her. I am not
    satisfied. I am very disappointed at the hospital. I am mad. Is this a
    hospital that fixes people or makes them die?”

    This was not the first time in the last two weeks that the Lees had
    been told Lia would die, but for some reason—perhaps because Nao Kao
    believed it contained such a time-specific prediction—it was the most
    offensive. In the Hmong moral code, foretelling a death is strongly taboo.
    It is an unpardonable insult to say to one’s aged grandparent, “After you
    are dead….” Instead, one says, “When your children are 120 years
    old….” I asked several Hmong people I knew how they would feel if a
    doctor told them their child was going to die. “A doctor should never
    never say that!” exclaimed Chong Moua, a mother of three. “It makes the
    dab come closer to the child. It is like saying okay, okay, take her.” Koua
    Her, an interpreter for the health department, said, “In Laos, that means
    you’re going to kill a person. Maybe poison him. Because how do you
    know for certain he’s going to die unless you’re going to kill him?”

    One night I told Bill Selvidge that the Lees had perceived the doctors’
    comments not as candid prognoses but as threats. “I’m not surprised,” he
    said. “All those verb tenses! Lia will die, Lia might die, Lia has a ninety-
    five percent chance of dying. Those nuances would be very confusing
    through an interpreter. And if the parents thought that people at MCMC
    were saying Lia should die, maybe they were right. I imagine there were a
    lot of people here who thought that if Lia was comatose and couldn’t

    communicate and the only sensation she could feel was pain, it would be
    better for her if she did die.”

    When Nao Kao thought he was being forced to sign a piece of paper
    that said his daughter was going to die in two hours, he did what any
    Hmong in an impossible corner, starting with the legendary Shee Yee,
    might consider doing: he fled. He grabbed Lia, who was dressed in her
    funeral clothes, from her bed in the third-floor pediatric unit and started
    running down the stairs. One of the nurses called a Code X. (Every
    hospital has a set of emergency codes that are blared over the public
    address system: Code Blue for dying patients in need of resuscitation;
    Code Red for fire; Code X for security breaches.) Nao Kao recalled,
    “They were chasing after me. They called two policemen”—hospital
    security guards—“and they wanted me to go back to the hospital. When
    they called the police, the lady that told me that Lia was going to die
    came to scold me and said, What are you doing? At that time I was so
    angry I pushed that nurse and her head went blah.”

    Dave Schneider was paged, stat—that is, urgently and immediately. It
    was late Friday afternoon at the end of what had already been a bad week
    for him, and it was about to get worse. Exhausted by the stresses of being
    a resident—the thirty-three-hour shifts, the constant hectoring of
    resentful patients, the fear of making a fatal mistake—Dave had
    requested a three-month leave of absence from MCMC, and had only a
    few days, which he had hoped would be calm, before he left. “I was about
    as low as I had ever been in my entire life,” he told me, “and I was in no
    state to put up with any bullshit from a father, whether he was a caring,
    concerned father who had customs that were different from mine or not. I
    mean, I really was not particularly feeling like having a discussion with
    him about cultural differences.”

    When Dave arrived, at a run, on the pediatric floor, the security
    guards had already escorted Nao Kao and Lia back to her room. “They’d
    found this Laotian guy carrying out this basically motionless child, and
    when I got there, they and the nurses were all yelling at him in a language
    he didn’t understand. I didn’t yell at him, but I was very angry. What
    really pissed me off is that he had pulled out her NG tube. He denied it,

    but it had been thrown onto the stairs. Obviously they wanted to take Lia
    home and let her die, and we were willing to do that, but it had to be in a
    medically acceptable manner, not by starving her to death, which is what
    would happen if she didn’t have an NG tube. So we’d instructed them as
    to how to use it and everything. Then the father rips her off, runs down
    the stairs, and takes out the tube. I mean, they had minutes to go, or at
    most an hour or two, before we were going to let them take her home
    anyway, but they just couldn’t fucking wait.”

    In a sharp voice, Dave told Nao Kao over and over again that if he’d
    been patient, Lia could have left soon, but now she couldn’t, because the
    nasogastric tube had to be reinserted and then X-rayed to confirm its
    position. In fact, the new tube was inserted incorrectly, and it had to be
    repositioned and X-rayed a second time. This, plus the paperwork, took
    nearly four hours. The hospital staff, including the nurse Nao Kao had
    pushed against the wall—she hadn’t been hurt—went about their business
    as if the incident, which they later referred to as “the abduction,” were an
    everyday event. Though they were all furious, no one considered
    reporting Nao Kao for assault or preventing him, at what they decided
    was the appropriate time, from taking his daughter home.

    Lia left MCMC at 10:15 p.m., in her mother’s arms. At the time of
    her discharge, her temperature was 104°. Her parents carried her back to
    their apartment, took off her funeral clothes, and laid her on a shower
    curtain they had spread on the living room floor. “Lia was going to die if
    she stayed in the hospital,” said Nao Kao, “but we boiled up some herbs
    and we washed her body. At the hospital she was so sick that when she
    was sleeping on the bed, she sweated so much her bed got all wet. She
    had too much medicine and her body just gave way. But then we boiled
    the herbs and we washed her and her sweat stopped, and she didn’t die.”

    14

    The Melting Pot

    The Lee family—Nao Kao, Foua, Chong, Zoua, Cheng, May, Yer, and
    True—arrived in the United States on December 18, 1980. Their luggage
    consisted of a few clothes, a blue blanket, and a wooden mortar and pestle
    that Foua had chiseled from a block of wood in Houaysouy. They flew
    from Bangkok to Honolulu, and then to Portland, Oregon, where they
    were to spend two years before moving to Merced. Other refugees told
    me that their airplane flights—a mode of travel that strained the limits of
    the familiar Hmong concept of migration—had been fraught with anxiety
    and shame: they got airsick, they didn’t know how to use the bathroom
    but were afraid to soil themselves, they thought they had to pay for their
    food but had no money, they tried to eat the Wash’n Dris. The Lees,
    though perplexed, took the novelties of the trip in stride. Nao Kao
    remembers the airplane as being “just like a big house.”

    Their first week in Portland, however, was miserably disorienting.
    Before being placed by a local refugee agency in a small rented house,
    they spent a week with relatives, sleeping on the floor. “We didn’t know
    anything so our relatives had to show us everything,” Foua said. “They
    knew because they had lived in America for three or four months already.
    Our relatives told us about electricity and said the children shouldn’t
    touch those plugs in the wall because they could get hurt. They told us
    that the refrigerator is a cold box where you put meat. They showed us
    how to open the TV so we could see it. We had never seen a toilet before
    and we thought maybe the water in it was to drink or cook with. Then our
    relatives told us what it was, but we didn’t know whether we should sit or
    whether we should stand on it. Our relatives took us to the store but we

    didn’t know that the cans and packages had food in them. We could tell
    what the meat was, but the chickens and cows and pigs were all cut up in
    little pieces and had plastic on them. Our relatives told us the stove is for
    cooking the food, but I was afraid to use it because it might explode. Our
    relatives said in America the food you don’t eat you just throw away. In
    Laos we always fed it to the animals and it was strange to waste it like
    that. In this country there were a lot of strange things and even now I
    don’t know a lot of things and my children have to help me, and it still
    seems like a strange country.”

    Seventeen years later, Foua and Nao Kao use American appliances,
    but they still speak only Hmong, celebrate only Hmong holidays, practice
    only the Hmong religion, cook only Hmong dishes, sing only Hmong
    songs, play only Hmong musical instruments, tell only Hmong stories,
    and know far more about current political events in Laos and Thailand
    than about those in the United States. When I first met them, during their
    eighth year in this country, only one American adult, Jeanine Hilt, had
    ever been invited to their home as a guest. It would be hard to imagine
    anything further from the vaunted American ideal of assimilation, in
    which immigrants are expected to submerge their cultural differences in
    order to embrace a shared national identity. E pluribus unum: from many,
    one.

    During the late 1910s and early ’20s, immigrant workers at the Ford
    automotive plant in Dearborn, Michigan, were given free, compulsory
    “Americanization” classes. In addition to English lessons, there were
    lectures on work habits, personal hygiene, and table manners. The first
    sentence they memorized was “I am a good American.” During their
    graduation ceremony they gathered next to a gigantic wooden pot, which
    their teachers stirred with ten-foot ladles. The students walked through a
    door into the pot, wearing traditional costumes from their countries of
    origin and singing songs in their native languages. A few minutes later,
    the door in the pot opened, and the students walked out again, wearing
    suits and ties, waving American flags, and singing “The Star-Spangled
    Banner.”

    The European immigrants who emerged from the Ford Motor

    Company melting pot came to the United States because they hoped to
    assimilate into mainstream American society. The Hmong came to the
    United States for the same reason they had left China in the nineteenth
    century: because they were trying to resist assimilation. As the
    anthropologist Jacques Lemoine has observed, “they did not come to our
    countries only to save their lives, they rather came to save their selves,
    that is, their Hmong ethnicity.” If their Hmong ethnicity had been safe in
    Laos, they would have preferred to remain there, just as their ancestors—
    for whom migration had always been a problem-solving strategy, not a
    footloose impulse—would have preferred to remain in China. Unlike the
    Ford workers who enthusiastically, or at least uncomplainingly, belted
    out the “The Star-Spangled Banner” (of which Foua and Nao Kao know
    not a single word), the Hmong are what sociologists call “involuntary
    migrants.” It is well known that involuntary migrants, no matter what pot
    they are thrown into, tend not to melt.

    What the Hmong wanted here was to be left alone to be Hmong:
    clustered in all-Hmong enclaves, protected from government
    interference, self-sufficient, and agrarian. Some brought hoes in their
    luggage. General Vang Pao has said, “For many years, right from the
    start, I tell the American government that we need a little bit of land
    where we can grow vegetables and build homes like in Laos…. I tell them
    it does not have to be the best land, just a little land where we can live.”
    This proposal was never seriously considered. “It was just out of the
    question,” said a spokesman for the State Department’s refugee program.
    “It would cost too much, it would be impractical, but most of all it would
    set off wild protests from [other Americans] and from other refugees who
    weren’t getting land for themselves.” (It would be interesting—though to
    my knowledge no one has ever done it—to compare the hypothetical
    costs of Vang Pao’s land scheme with the real costs of the federal and
    state funds that have been paid out over the last twenty years to welfare-
    dependent Hmong who were originally settled in urban areas.)*

    Just as newly arrived immigrants in earlier eras had been called
    “FOBs”—Fresh Off the Boat—some social workers nicknamed the
    incoming Hmong, along with the other Southeast Asian refugees who

    entered the United States after the Vietnamese War, “JOJs”: Just Off the
    Jet. Unlike the first waves of Vietnamese and Cambodian refugees, most
    of whom received several months of vocational and language training at
    regional “reception centers,” the HmongJOJs, who arrived after the
    centers had closed, were all sent directly to their new homes. (Later on,
    some were given “cultural orientation” training in Thailand before flying
    to the United States. Their classes covered such topics as how to
    distinguish a one-dollar bill from a ten-dollar bill and how to use a
    peephole.) The logistical details of their resettlement were contracted by
    the federal government to private nonprofit groups known as VOLAGs, or
    national voluntary resettlement agencies, which found local sponsors.
    Within their first few weeks in this country, newly arrived families were
    likely to deal with VOLAG officials, immigration officials, public health
    officials, social service officials, employment officials, and public
    assistance officials. The Hmong are not known for holding bureaucrats in
    high esteem. As one proverb puts it, “To see a tiger is to die; to see an
    official is to become destitute.” In a study of adaptation problems among
    Indochinese refugees, Hmong respondents rated “Difficulty with
    American Agencies” as a more serious problem than either “War
    Memories” or “Separation from Family.” Because many of the VOLAGs
    had religious affiliations, the JOJs also often found themselves dealing
    with Christian ministers, who, not surprisingly, took a dim view of
    shamanistic animism. A sponsoring pastor in Minnesota told a local
    newspaper, “It would be wicked to just bring them over and feed and
    clothe them and let them go to hell. The God who made us wants them to
    be converted. If anyone thinks that a gospel-preaching church would
    bring them over and not tell them about the Lord, they’re out of their
    mind.” The proselytizing backfired. According to a study of Hmong
    mental health problems, refugees sponsored by this pastor’s religious
    organization were significantly more likely, when compared to other
    refugees, to require psychiatric treatment.

    The Hmong were accustomed to living in the mountains, and most of
    them had never seen snow. Almost all their resettlement sites had flat
    topography and freezing winters. The majority were sent to cities,

    including Minneapolis, Chicago, Milwaukee, Detroit, Hartford, and
    Providence, because that was where refugee services—health care,
    language classes, job training, public housing—were concentrated. To
    encourage assimilation, and to avoid burdening any one community with
    more than its “fair share” of refugees, the Immigration and Naturalization
    Service adopted a policy of dispersal rather than clustering. Newly
    arrived Hmong were assigned to fifty-three cities in twenty-five different
    states: stirred into the melting pot in tiny, manageable portions, or, as
    John Finck, who worked with Hmong at the Rhode Island Office of
    Refugee Resettlement, put it, “spread like a thin layer of butter
    throughout the country so they’d disappear.” In some places, clans were
    broken up. In others, members of only one clan were resettled, making it
    impossible for young people, who were forbidden by cultural taboo from
    marrying within their own clan, to find local marriage partners. Group
    solidarity, the cornerstone of Hmong social organization for more than
    two thousand years, was completely ignored.

    Although most Hmong were resettled in cities, some nuclear families,
    unaccompanied by any of their extended relations, were placed in isolated
    rural areas. Disconnected from traditional supports, these families
    exhibited unusually high levels of anxiety, depression, and paranoia. In
    one such case, the distraught and delusional father of the Yang family—
    the only Hmong family sponsored by the First Baptist Church of
    Fairfield, Iowa—attempted to hang himself in the basement of his
    wooden bungalow along with his wife and four children. His wife
    changed her mind at the last minute and cut the family down, but she
    acted too late to save their only son. An Iowa grand jury declined to
    indict either parent, on the grounds that the father was suffering from
    Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and the mother, cut off from all sources
    of information except her husband, had no way to develop an independent
    version of reality.

    Reviewing the initial resettlement of the Hmong with several years’
    hindsight, Lionel Rosenblatt, the former United States Refugee
    Coordinator in Thailand, conceded that it had been catastrophically
    mishandled. “We knew at the start their situation was different, but we

    just couldn’t make any special provisions for them,” he said. “I still feel
    it was no mistake to bring the Hmong here, but you look back now and
    say, ‘How could we have done it so shoddily?’” Eugene Douglas,
    President Reagan’s ambassador-at-large for refugee affairs, stated flatly,
    “It was a kind of hell they landed into. Really, it couldn’t have been done
    much worse.”

    The Hmong who sought asylum in the United States were, of course,
    not a homogeneous lump. A small percentage, mostly the high-ranking
    military officers who were admitted first, were multilingual and
    cosmopolitan, and a larger percentage had been exposed in a desultory
    fashion to some aspects of American culture and technology during the
    war or while living in Thai refugee camps. But the experience of tens of
    thousands of Hmong was much like the Lees’. It is possible to get an idea
    of how monumental the task of adjustment was likely to be by glancing at
    some of the pamphlets, audiotapes, and videos that refugee agencies
    produced for Southeast Asian JOJs. For example, “Your New Life in the
    United States,” a handbook published by the Language and Orientation
    Resource Center in Washington, D.C., included the following tips:

    Learn the meaning of “WALK”—“DON’T WALK” signs when
    crossing the street.

    To send mail, you must use stamps.

    To use the phone:

    1) Pick up the receiver
    2) Listen for dial tone
    3) Dial each number separately
    4) Wait for person to answer after it rings
    5) Speak.

    The door of the refrigerator must be shut.

    Never put your hand in the garbage disposal.

    Do not stand or squat on the toilet since it may break.

    Never put rocks or other hard objects in the tub or sink since this
    will damage them.

    Always ask before picking your neighbor’s flowers, fruit or
    vegetables.

    In colder areas you must wear shoes, socks, and appropriate
    outerwear. Otherwise, you may become ill.

    Always use a handkerchief or a kleenex to blow your nose in
    public places or inside a public building.

    Never urinate in the street. This creates a smell that is offensive to
    Americans. They also believe that it causes disease.

    Spitting in public is considered impolite and unhealthy. Use a
    kleenex or handkerchief.

    Picking your nose or your ears in public is frowned upon in the
    United States.

    The customs they were expected to follow seemed so peculiar, the
    rules and regulations so numerous, the language so hard to learn, and the
    emphasis on literacy and the decoding of other unfamiliar symbols so
    strong, that many Hmong were overwhelmed. Jonas Vangay told me, “In
    America, we are blind because even though we have eyes, we cannot see.
    We are deaf because even though we have ears, we cannot hear.” Some
    newcomers wore pajamas as street clothes; poured water on electric
    stoves to extinguish them; lit charcoal fires in their living rooms; stored
    blankets in their refrigerators; washed rice in their toilets; washed their
    clothes in swimming pools; washed their hair with Lestoil; cooked with
    motor oil and furniture polish; drank Clorox; ate cat food; planted crops
    in public parks; shot and ate skunks, porcupines, woodpeckers, robins,

    egrets, sparrows, and a bald eagle; and hunted pigeons with crossbows in
    the streets of Philadelphia.

    If the United States seemed incomprehensible to the Hmong, the
    Hmong seemed equally incomprehensible to the United States.
    Journalists seized excitedly on a label that is still trotted out at regular
    intervals: “the most primitive refugee group in America.” (In an angry
    letter to the New York Times , which had used that phrase in a 1990 news
    article, a Hmong computer specialist observed, “Evidently, we were not
    too primitive to fight as proxies for United States troops in the war in
    Laos.”) Typical phrases from newspaper and magazine stories in the late
    seventies and eighties included “low-caste hill tribe,” “Stone Age,”
    “emerging from the mists of time,” “like Alice falling down a rabbit
    hole.” Inaccuracies were in no short supply. A 1981 article in the
    Christian Science Monitor called the Hmong language “extremely
    simplistic” declared that the Hmong, who have been sewing paj ntaub
    with organic motifs for centuries, make “no connection between a picture
    of a tree and a real tree” and noted that “the Hmong have no oral tradition
    of literature…. Apparently no folk tales exist.” Some journalists seemed
    to shed all inhibition, and much of their good sense as well, when they
    were loosed on the Hmong. My favorite passage is a 1981 New York
    Times editorial about the large number of Hmong men who had died
    unexpectedly in their sleep, killed—or so it was widely believed at the
    time—by their own nightmares.* After explaining that the Hmong
    “attributed conscious life to natural objects,” the writer asked,

    What were these nightmares? Did a palm tree’s fronds turn
    into threatening fingers? Did a forest move and march with the
    implacability of the tide? Did a rose stretch on its stalk and
    throttle the sleeper?

    Or did a gasoline hose curl and crush like a python? Was one
    of the dreamers pinned by a perambulating postbox? Or stabbed
    by scissors run amok?

    (“Or did the editorial writer drop acid?” I wrote in the newspaper margin

    when I first read this.)
    Timothy Dunnigan, a linguistic anthropologist who has taught a

    seminar at the University of Minnesota on the media presentation of
    Hmong and Native Americans, once remarked to me, “The kinds of
    metaphorical language that we use to describe the Hmong say far more
    about us, and our attachment to our own frame of reference, than they do
    about the Hmong.” So much for the Perambulating Postbox Theory.
    Dunnigan’s comment resonates with Dwight Conquergood’s observation
    about the uneasiness Westerners feel when confronted with the Other—
    for who could be more Other than the Hmong? Not only did they squat on
    toilets and eat skunks, not only did they bang gongs and sacrifice cows,
    but they also displayed what struck many people as an offensively
    selective interest in adopting the customs of the majority culture. For
    example, many Hmong quickly learned how to use telephones and drive
    cars, because those skills fit their own agenda of communicating with
    other Hmong, but failed to learn English. In 1987, when Senator Alan
    Simpson, then the ranking minority member of the Senate Subcommittee
    on Immigration and Refugee Affairs, called the Hmong “the most
    indigestible group in society,” he sounded much like the authorities in
    China long ago who were grievously insulted when the Hmong refused to
    speak Chinese or eat with chopsticks.

    It could not be denied that the Hmong were genuinely mysterious—
    far more so, for instance, than the Vietnamese and Cambodians who were
    streaming into the United States at the same time. Hardly anyone knew
    how to pronounce the word “Hmong.” Hardly anyone—except the
    anthropology graduate students who suddenly realized they could write
    dissertations on patrilineal exogamous clan structures without leaving
    their hometowns—knew what role the Hmong had played during the war,
    or even what war it had been, since our government had succeeded all too
    well in keeping the Quiet War quiet. Hardly anyone knew they had a rich
    history, a complex culture, an efficient social system, and enviable
    family values. They were therefore an ideal blank surface on which to
    project xenophobic fantasies.

    The most expedient mode of projection has always been the rumor,

    and the Hmong attracted more than their share. This was to be expected.
    After all, the Hmong of China had had wings under their armpits and
    small tails. In prevalence and nastiness, American rumors about the
    Hmong are at least an even match for the Hmong rumors about America
    that circulated in the refugee camps of Thailand. Some samples: The
    Hmong run a white slave trade. The Hmong are given cars by the
    government. The Hmong force their children to run in front of cars in
    order to get big insurance settlements. The Hmong sell their daughters
    and buy their wives. Hmong women think speed bumps are washboards
    for scrubbing clothes, and they get run over by eighteen-wheelers. The
    Hmong eat dogs.* (That one comes complete with its own set of racist
    jokes. “What’s the name of the Hmong cookbook? 101 Ways to Wok Your
    Dog.”) The dog-eating rumor has joined the national pantheon of
    deathless urban legends, right up there with alligators in the sewers and
    worms in the Big Macs. Roger Mitchell, an emeritus professor of
    anthropology at the University of Wisconsin at Eau Claire, has collected
    a number of variants:

    [Rumored] methods of [dog] procurement vary. Some are coaxed
    home by Hmong children. Some were adopted from the animal
    shelter (until those in charge noted a high rate of adoption).
    Others are strays. The most common accusation is theft, often
    from backyards, sometimes leaving the head and collar as mute
    testimony to Rover’s passing…. The dog is usually an expensive
    one, often owned by a doctor. The theft is observed, the license
    plate number marked down. When the police check, the dog is
    already in some Hmong family’s pot.

    The supposed proof varies. That fixture in the urban legend,
    the garbage man, reports the presence of canine remains in
    Hmong garbage cans. Carcasses are seen hanging in the cellar by
    meter readers, salesmen, or whomever. Elementary school
    children recognize dog meat in Hmong sandwiches. Freezers are
    said to be full of frozen dogs. A bizarre touch is that the dogs are
    supposedly skinned alive to make them more tasty.

    Not everyone who wanted to make the Hmong feel unwelcome
    stopped at slander. In the words of the president of a youth center in
    Minneapolis, his Hmong neighbors in the mid-eighties were “prime meat
    for predators.” In Laos, Hmong houses had no locks. Sometimes they had
    no doors. Cultural taboos against theft and intra-community violence
    were poor preparation for life in the high-crime, inner-city neighborhoods
    in which most Hmong were placed. Some of the violence directed against
    them had nothing to do with their ethnicity; they were simply easy marks.
    But a good deal of it, particularly in urban areas, was motivated by
    resentment for what was perceived as preferential welfare treatment.*

    In Minneapolis, tires were slashed and windows smashed. A high
    school student getting off a bus was hit in the face and told to “go back to
    China.” A woman was kicked in the thighs, face, and kidneys, and her
    purse, which contained the family’s entire savings of $400, was stolen;
    afterwards, she forbade her children to play outdoors, and her husband,
    who had once commanded a fifty-man unit in the Armée Clandestine,
    stayed home to guard the family’s belongings. In Providence, children
    walking home from school were beaten. In Missoula, teenagers were
    stoned. In Milwaukee, garden plots were vandalized and a car was set on
    fire. In Eureka, California, two burning crosses were placed on a family’s
    front lawn. In a random act of violence near Springfield, Illinois, a
    twelve-year-old boy was shot and killed by three men who forced his
    family’s car off Interstate 55 and demanded money. His father told a
    reporter, “In a war, you know who your enemies are. Here, you don’t
    know if the person walking up to you will hurt you.”

    In Philadelphia, anti-Hmong muggings, robberies, beatings, stonings,
    and vandalism were so commonplace during the early eighties that the
    city’s Commission on Human Relations held public hearings to
    investigate the violence. One source of discord seemed to be a $100,000
    federal grant for Hmong employment assistance that had incensed local
    residents, who were mostly unemployed themselves and believed the
    money should have been allocated to American citizens, not resident
    aliens. In one of the most grievous incidents, Seng Vang, a Hmong
    resident of Quebec who was visiting his mother, brothers, and sisters in

    west Philadelphia, was beaten with steel rods and a large rock, and left on
    the street with two broken legs and a brain injury. Later that day, a rifle
    shot was fired into his mother’s apartment, breaking a window near the
    spot where she stood washing dishes. When Vang was treated at the
    University of Pennsylvania hospital, he was given a blood transfusion
    that was probably tainted. He was gravely ill for months with a rare form
    of hepatitis, and, seized by justifiable paranoia, became convinced that
    his doctors, too, had tried to kill him.

    One thing stands out in all these accounts: the Hmong didn’t fight
    back. I pondered that fact one day as I was thumbing through the index of
    Charles Johnson’s Dab Neeg Hmoob: Myths, Legends and Folk Tales
    from the Hmong of Laos, which contained the following entries:

    Fighting
    Enemies fighting…29–46, 52–58, 198, 227, 470–471

    Revenge
    Murdered man reincarnated to revenge his death…308–309
    Cruel 9-tongued eagle has tongues cut out…330
    Ngao Njua boils king who sent away her husband…362
    Family kills tiger murderer of daughter, husband & children…403
    Rooster tortures & kills wildcat murderer of his wife…433, 436–437
    Woman punishes, enslaves Chinese couple who enslaved husband…
    456–457

    Ya Yee Leng assassinates tyrannical cruel teacher king…470–471
    Vengeance
    Punishment of evil-doers by lightning…11, 20
    Wildcat tortured & killed to avenge murder of woman…436–437

    To quote from the last folktale cited: “Quickly, the rooster came down,
    seized the cat, threw him into the mortar of the rice mill, and started in
    immediately pounding him with the heavy pestle: DA DUH NDUH! DA
    DUH NDUH! He kept pounding until all the wildcat’s bones were
    completely broken. And that’s how the wildcat died, and that’s how the
    story ends.” It was clear that the Hmong were hardly the docile, passive,

    mild-mannered Asians of popular stereotype. Why hadn’t the Americans
    who tormented the Hmong ended up like that wildcat?

    Charles Johnson’s background notes to another tale in Dab Neeg
    Hmoob provide a partial explanation:

    Our interviews indicate that the Hmong do not fight very much.
    When they do, it is with fists and feet. (In contrast with some
    neighboring peoples [in Laos] who tend to fight a lot, seem to take
    it lightly, and can be friends later, if two Hmong fight once, they
    are likely to take it very seriously, as a big issue which they do not
    forget, and may remain enemies forever.)

    …The Hmong do have an ideal of patience and stoical self-
    control, alluded to in the idiomatic expression often used by the
    Hmong to admonish someone who is acting impatiently or
    impulsively, or by parents in teaching good behavior to their
    children: “Ua siab ntev” (literally, Make, do, or act with a long
    liver, that is, a spirit or attitude of long-suffering, patient
    endurance of wrongs or difficulties).

    Although on the battlefield the Hmong were known more for their
    fierceness than for their long livers, in the United States many were too
    proud to lower themselves to the level of the petty criminals they
    encountered, or even to admit they had been victims. An anthropologist
    named George M. Scott, Jr., once asked a group of Hmong in San Diego,
    all victims of property damage or assault, why they had not defended
    themselves or taken revenge. Scott wrote, “several Hmong victims of
    such abuse, both young and old, answered that to have done so, besides
    inviting further, retaliatory, abuse, would have made them feel
    ‘embarrassed’ or ashamed…. In addition, the current president of Lao
    Family [a Hmong mutual assistance organization], when asked why his
    people did not ‘fight back’ when attacked here as they did in Laos,
    replied simply, ‘because nothing here is worth defending to us.’”

    There were exceptions, of course. If he was threatened with what he
    perceived as unbearable poob ntsej muag (loss of face), a Hmong

    sometimes decided that his shame and embarrassment would be even
    greater if he didn’t fight back than if he did. Several Hmong in Fresno,
    hearing rumors that their welfare grants might be terminated because
    they owned cars, sent death threats (“You take away my grant and I’m
    going to blow your head off”) to the county Social Services Department.
    As visual aids, they enclosed bullets and pictures of swords in their
    envelopes. (The grants were not terminated, and the bullets and swords
    were never used.) In Chicago, an elderly Hmong man and his son,
    insulted because an American driver had honked at them loudly and
    persistently, hit the American over the head with a steering-wheel locking
    device. The injury required thirteen stitches. When the men, Ching and
    Bravo Xiong, were brought to trial for aggravated battery, they asked the
    judge to allow each party to tell his side of the story and then drink a
    mixture of water and the blood of a sacrificed rooster. According to
    Hmong tradition, anyone who drinks rooster blood after telling a lie is
    destined to die within a year, so if a man partakes willingly, he is
    recognized as a truthteller. The judge denied this request. Instead, he
    sentenced the younger Xiong to two weekends in jail and six hundred
    hours of community service. He also ordered both men to learn English
    and study American culture.

    Such incidents were rare. Most Hmong kept an apprehensive distance
    from the American penal system, which was radically different from their
    own. There were no prisons in their villages in Laos. The Hmong sense of
    justice was pragmatic and personal: how would incarceration benefit the
    victim? Corporal punishment was also unknown. Instead, various forms
    of public humiliation—a powerful deterrent in a society where loss of
    face was considered a worse fate than death—were employed. For
    example, a thief who had stolen four bars of silver might be forced to
    repay five bars to the victim and then be hauled off to the village chief
    with his hands tied, while the entire community jeered. The victim ended
    up enriched, the criminal suffered the shame he deserved, the criminal’s
    innocent family kept its primary provider in the household, and any
    would-be thieves in the village were discouraged from potential crimes
    by witnessing the disgraceful spectacle. The Hmong who came to this

    country had heard that if they hurt someone, for whatever the reason, they
    would be sent to an American prison, and most of them were willing to
    do almost anything to avoid such an unimaginable calamity. Chao Wang
    Vang, a Fresno resident who had been charged with misdemeanor
    manslaughter after a fatal traffic accident, hanged himself in the county
    jail before his case came to court, not knowing he had the right to a trial
    and believing he would be imprisoned for the rest of his life.

    In any case, Hmong who were persecuted by their neighbors could
    exercise a time-honored alternative to violence: flight. (It is worth
    remembering that when the nine evil dab brothers were trying to kill Shee
    Yee, he attempted only one defensive counterattack before switching his
    strategy to evasion.) Between 1982 and 1984, three quarters of the
    Hmong population of Philadelphia simply left town and joined relatives
    in other cities. During approximately the same period, a third of all the
    Hmong in the United States moved from one city to another. When they
    decided to relocate, Hmong families often lit off without notifying their
    sponsors, who were invariably offended. If they couldn’t fit one of their
    possessions, such as a television set, in a car or bus or U-Haul, they left it
    behind, seemingly without so much as a backward glance. Some families
    traveled alone, but more often they moved in groups. When there was an
    exodus from Portland, Oregon, a long caravan of overloaded cars motored
    together down Interstate 5, bound for the Central Valley of California.
    With this “secondary migration,” as sociologists termed it, the
    government’s attempt to stir the Hmong evenly into the melting pot was
    definitively sabotaged.

    Although local violence was often the triggering factor, there were
    also other reasons for migrating. In 1982, when all refugees who had
    lived in the United States for more than eighteen months stopped
    receiving Refugee Cash Assistance—the period of eligibility had
    previously been three years—many Hmong who had no jobs and no
    prospects moved to states that provided welfare benefits to two-parent
    families. Their original host states were often glad to get rid of them. For
    a time, the Oregon Human Resources Department, strapped by a tight
    state budget, sent refugees letters that pointedly detailed the levels of

    welfare benefits available in several other states. California’s were
    among the highest. Thousands of Hmong also moved to California
    because they had heard it was an agricultural state where they might be
    able to farm. But by far the most important reason for relocating was
    reunification with other members of one’s clan. Hmong clans are
    sometimes at odds with each other, but within a clan, whose thousands of
    members are regarded as siblings, one can always count on support and
    sympathy. A Hmong who tries to gain acceptance to a kin group other
    than his own is called a puav, or bat. He is rejected by the birds because
    he has fur and by the mice because he has wings. Only when a Hmong
    lives among his own subspecies can he stop flitting restlessly from group
    to group, haunted by the shame of not belonging.

    The Hmong may have been following their venerable proverb,
    “There’s always another mountain,” but in the past, each new mountain
    had yielded a living. Unfortunately, the most popular areas of secondary
    resettlement all had high unemployment rates, and they got higher. For
    example, in the Central Valley—which had no Hmong in 1976 and more
    than 20,000 seven years later—the economic recession of 1982 shut down
    dozens of factories and other businesses, driving up local unemployment
    and forcing the Hmong to compete with out-of-work Americans for even
    the most unskilled jobs. The dream of farming quickly fizzled for all but
    a few hundred. Hmong farmers knew a great deal about torching fields
    for slash-and-burn agriculture, planting mountain rice with dibble sticks,
    and tapping opium pods, but they had much to learn (to quote from the
    course plan for a not-very-successful Hmong training program) about

    crop varieties, soil preparation, machinery and equipment, timing
    and succession of planting, seeds and transplants, fertilizer, pest
    and weed management, disease control, irrigation, erosion control,
    record-keeping, harvesting, washing and handling, grading and
    size selection, packing, conditioning, market selection, product
    planning, pricing strategies, shipping and receiving, advertising,
    merchandising, verbal and non-verbal communication skills for
    dealing with consumers, etc.

    By 1985, at least eighty percent of the Hmong in Merced, Fresno, and San
    Joaquin counties were on welfare.

    That didn’t halt the migration. Family reunification tends to have a
    snowball effect. The more Thaos or Xiongs there were in one place, the
    more mutual assistance they could provide, the more cultural traditions
    they could practice together, and the more stable their community would
    be. Americans, however, tended to view secondary migration as an
    indication of instability and dependence. Dwight Conquergood has
    described the gulf between the American ideal of rugged individualism
    and the Hmong ideal of group interdependence:

    In a thousand ways, our separatist, individualistic ethic gets
    enunciated daily: individual place settings at meals, the
    importance of “a room of one’s own” even for children,
    advertising appeals and jingles such as “Have it your way” and
    “We do it all for you.” The enactment of Hmong culture, on the
    other hand, is like a symphony; every part plays the themes of
    returning, recalling, restoring, reincorporating, binding together,
    and reuniting separated parts into a collective identity.

    A Hmong proverb observes: “One stick cannot cook a meal or build a
    fence.” If a meal needed to be cooked or a fence built, the sticks had no
    choice but to pick themselves up and bundle together.

    Seeing that the Hmong were redistributing themselves as they saw fit,
    and that they were becoming an economic burden on the places to which
    they chose to move, the federal Office of Refugee Resettlement tried to
    slow the migratory tide. The 1983 Highland Lao Initiative, a three-
    million-dollar “emergency effort” to bolster employment and community
    stability in Hmong communities outside California, offered vocational
    training, English classes, and other enticements for the Hmong to stay
    put. Though the initiative claimed a handful of modest local successes,
    the California migration was essentially unstoppable. By this time, most
    Hmong JOJs were being sponsored by relatives in America rather than by
    voluntary organizations, so the government no longer had geographic

    control over their placements. The influx therefore came—and, in smaller
    increments, is still coming—from Thailand as well as from other parts of
    America. Therefore, in addition to trying to prevent the Hmong from
    moving to high-welfare states, the Office of Refugee Resettlement started
    trying to encourage the ones who were already there to leave. Spending
    an average of $7,000 per family on moving expenses, job placement, and
    a month or two of rent and food subsidies, the Planned Secondary
    Resettlement Program, which was phased out in 1994, relocated about
    800 unemployed Hmong families from what it called “congested areas”
    to communities with “favorable employment opportunities”—i.e.,
    unskilled jobs with wages too low to attract a full complement of local
    American workers.

    Within the economic limitations of blue-collar labor, those 800
    families have fared well. Ninety-five percent have become self-sufficient.
    They work in manufacturing plants in Dallas, on electronics assembly
    lines in Atlanta, in furniture and textile factories in Morganton, North
    Carolina. More than a quarter of them have saved enough money to buy
    their own houses, as have three quarters of the Hmong families who live
    in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, where the men farm or work in food-
    processing plants, and the women work for the Amish, sewing quilts that
    are truthfully advertised as “locally made.” Elsewhere, Hmong are
    employed as grocers, carpenters, poultry processors, machinists, welders,
    auto mechanics, tool and die makers, teachers, nurses, interpreters, and
    community liaisons. In a survey of Minnesota employers, the respondents
    were asked “What do you think of the Hmong as workers?” Eighty-six
    percent rated them “very good.”

    This was particularly true in organizations where the Hmong were
    employed in assembly, or piecework occupations…. In general,
    employers are impressed by the productivity of the Hmong.
    Initially, there appears to be a period of some difficulty in training
    due to English language skills. Once trained, however, Hmong are
    reported to be better workers than the average American workers.

    Some younger Hmong have become lawyers, doctors, dentists,
    engineers, computer programmers, accountants, and public
    administrators. Hmong National Development, an association that
    promotes Hmong self-sufficiency, encourages this small corps of
    professionals to serve as mentors and sponsors for other Hmong who
    might thereby be induced to follow suit. The cultural legacy of mutual
    assistance has been remarkably adaptive. Hundreds of Hmong students
    converse electronically, trading information and gossip—opinions on the
    relevance of traditional customs, advice on college admissions, personal
    ads—via the Hmong Channel on the Internet Relay Chat system. (They
    include Lia Lee’s older sister True, whose parents are baffled by the two
    hours she spends each day hunched over a computer terminal at her
    school.) There is also a Hmong Homepage on the World Wide Web
    (http://www.stolaf.edu/people/cdr/hmong/) and several burgeoning
    Hmong electronic mailing lists, including Hmongnet, Hmongforum, and
    Hmong Language Users Group.*

    The M.D.s and J.D.s and digital sophisticates constitute a small,
    though growing, minority. Although younger, English-speaking Hmong
    who have been educated in the United States have better employment
    records than their elders, they still lag behind most other Asian-
    Americans. As for Hmong workers over thirty-five, the majority are
    immovably wedged at or near entry level. They can’t get jobs that require
    better English, and they can’t learn English on their current jobs. The
    federal Hmong Resettlement Study cited, as an example, a Hmong worker
    in Dallas who after three years on the job was unable to name the
    machine he operated. He stated that he never expected a promotion or a
    pay raise other than cost-of-living increases. Other Hmong have been
    thwarted by placing a higher value on group solidarity than on individual
    initiative. In San Diego, the manager of an electronics plant was so
    enthusiastic about one Hmong assembly worker that he tried to promote
    him to supervisor. The man quit, ashamed to accept a job that would
    place him above his Hmong coworkers.

    For the many Hmong who live in high-unemployment areas,
    questions of advancement are often moot. They have no jobs at all. This

    http://www.stolaf.edu/people/cdr/hmong/

    is the reason the Hmong are routinely called this country’s “least
    successful refugees.” It is worth noting that the standard American tests
    of success that they have flunked are almost exclusively economic. If one
    applied social indices instead—such as rates of crime, child abuse,
    illegitimacy, and divorce—the Hmong would probably score better than
    most refugee groups (and also better than most Americans), but those are
    not the forms of success to which our culture assigns its highest priority.
    Instead, we have trained the spotlight on our best-loved index of failure,
    the welfare rolls. In California, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, where, not
    coincidentally, benefits tend to be relatively generous and eligibility
    requirements relatively loose, the percentages of Hmong on welfare are
    approximately forty-five, forty, and thirty-five (an improvement over
    five years ago, when they were approximately sixty-five, seventy, and
    sixty). The cycle of dependence that began with rice drops in Laos and
    reinforced with daily handouts at Thai refugee camps has been completed
    here in the United States. The conflicting structures of the Hmong culture
    and the American welfare system make it almost impossible for the
    average family to become independent. In California, for example, a man
    with seven children—a typical Hmong family size—would have to make
    $10.60 an hour, working forty hours a week, to equal his welfare stipend
    and food stamp allowance. But with few marketable skills and little
    English, he would probably be ineligible for most jobs that paid more
    than the minimum wage of $5.15 an hour, at which he would have to
    work an improbable eighty-two hours a week in order to equal his welfare
    allotment. In addition, until the mid-nineties in most states, if he worked
    more than one hundred hours a month—as a part-time worker trying to
    acquire job skills, for example, or a farmer in the start-up phase—his
    family would lose their entire welfare grant, all their food stamps, and
    their health insurance.*

    The 1996 welfare reform bill, which in its present form promises to
    deny benefits to legal immigrants, has stirred up monumental waves of
    anxiety among the Hmong. Faced with the possibility of having their
    assistance cut off, some have applied for citizenship, although many
    middle-aged Hmong find the English language requirement an

    insuperable obstacle. (The hurdles are lower for older Hmong who came
    to the United States shortly after the end of the war in Laos. The language
    rule is waived for “lawful permanent residents” age fifty or older who
    have been in this country for at least twenty years, and for those age fifty-
    five or older who have been here at least fifteen years. The Lees, who are
    considering applying for citizenship, would qualify for this waiver.)
    Some Hmong have moved, or are planning to move, to states with better
    job markets. Some will become dependent on their relatives. Because a
    few states will probably elect to use their own funds to assist legal
    immigrants, some will simply continue to depend on welfare in altered,
    reduced, and more precarious forms.

    Few things gall the Hmong more than to be criticized for accepting
    public assistance. For one thing, they feel they deserve the money. Every
    Hmong has a different version of what is commonly called “The
    Promise”: a written or oral contract, made by CIA personnel in Laos, that
    if they fought for the Americans, the Americans would aid them if the
    Pathet Lao won the war. After risking their lives to rescue downed
    American pilots, seeing their villages flattened by incidental American
    bombs, and being forced to flee their country because they had supported
    the “American War,” the Hmong expected a hero’s welcome here.
    According to many of them, the first betrayal came when the American
    airlifts rescued only the officers from Long Tieng, leaving nearly
    everyone else behind. The second betrayal came in the Thai camps, when
    the Hmong who wanted to come to the United States were not all
    automatically admitted. The third betrayal came when they arrived here
    and found they were ineligible for veterans’ benefits. The fourth betrayal
    came when Americans condemned them for what the Hmong call “eating
    welfare.” The fifth betrayal came when the Americans announced that the
    welfare would stop.

    Aside from some older people who consider welfare a retirement
    benefit, most Hmong would prefer almost any other option—if other
    options existed. What right-thinking Hmong would choose to be yoked to
    one of the most bureaucratic institutions in America? (A tip from “Your
    New Life in the United States,” on applying for cash assistance: “You

    should have as many of the following documents available as possible: I-
    94—take the original, if you can; rent bill or lease; Social Security card;
    any pay stubs; bank account statement or savings passbook; utility bills;
    medical bills or proof of medical disability; employment registration
    card.”) What Hmong would choose to become addicted to a way of life
    that some clan leaders have likened to opium? And what Hmong would
    choose the disgrace of being dev mus nuam yaj, a dog waiting for scraps?
    Dang Moua, the Merced businessman who had kept his family alive en
    route to Thailand by shooting birds with a homemade crossbow, once told
    me, “One time when I am first in America, a Korean man tell me that if
    someone is lazy and doesn’t work, the government still pay them. I say,
    you crazy! That doesn’t ring my bell at all! I am not afraid of working!
    My parents raised me as a man! I work till the last day I leave this earth!”
    And indeed, Dang held three concurrent nearly full-time jobs, as a grocer,
    an interpreter, and a pig farmer. He was once a clerk-typist in the
    American Embassy in Vientiane and speaks five languages, so his success
    is not one most Hmong could reasonably be expected to emulate. More
    typical are two middle-aged men who were interviewed in San Diego for
    a survey on refugee adaptation. The first said:

    I used to be a real man like any other man, but not now any
    longer…. We only live day by day, just like the baby birds who
    are only staying in the nest opening their mouths and waiting for
    the mother bird to bring the worms.

    The second said:

    We are not born to earth to have somebody give us feed; we are so
    ashamed to depend on somebody like this. When we were in our
    country, we never ask anybody for help like this…. I’ve been
    trying very hard to learn English and at the same time looking for
    a job. No matter what kind of job, even the job to clean people’s
    toilets; but still people don’t even trust you or offer you such
    work. I’m looking at me that I’m not even worth as much as a

    dog’s stool. Talking about this, I want to die right here so I won’t
    see my future.

    These men were both suffering from a global despair to which their
    economic dependence was only one of many contributing factors. In the
    survey for which they were interviewed, part of a longitudinal study of
    Hmong, Cambodians, Vietnamese, and Chinese-Vietnamese refugees, the
    Hmong respondents scored lowest in “happiness” and “life satisfaction.”
    In a study of Indochinese refugees in Illinois, the Hmong exhibited the
    highest degree of “alienation from their environment.” According to a
    Minnesota study, Hmong refugees who had lived in the United States for
    a year and a half had “very high levels of depression, anxiety, hostility,
    phobia, paranoid ideation, obsessive compulsiveness and feelings of
    inadequacy.” (Over the next decade, some of these symptoms moderated,
    but the refugees’ levels of anxiety, hostility, and paranoia showed little or
    no improvement.) The study that I found most disheartening was the 1987
    California Southeast Asian Mental Health Needs Assessment, a statewide
    epidemiological survey funded by the Office of Refugee Resettlement
    and the National Institute of Mental Health. It was shocking to look at the
    bar graphs comparing the Hmong with the Vietnamese, the Chinese-
    Vietnamese, the Cambodians, and the Lao—all of whom, particularly the
    Cambodians, fared poorly compared to the general population—and see
    how the Hmong stacked up: Most depressed. Most psychosocially
    dysfunctional. Most likely to be severely in need of mental health
    treatment. Least educated. Least literate. Smallest percentage in labor
    force. Most likely to cite “fear” as a reason for immigration and least
    likely to cite “a better life.”

    The same bleak ground was covered from the Hmong point of view by
    Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout, a public health administrator in Portland,
    Oregon. Dr. Bliatout, who is Hmong, explained in an article on mental
    health concepts that such issues as job adjustment and family happiness
    are regarded by the Hmong as problems of the liver. If patience, as
    Charles Johnson noted in Dab Neeg Hmoob, is attributed to a long—that
    is, a robust and healthy—liver, what Americans would call mental illness

    is attributed to a liver that has become diseased or damaged through soul
    loss. According to Bliatout, who provided case histories for each one,
    some illnesses common among Hmong in the United States are:

    Nyuab Siab
    Translation: Difficult liver.
    Causes: Loss of family, status, home, country, or any important item

    that has a high emotional value.
    Symptoms: Excessive worry; crying; confusion; disjointed speech;

    loss of sleep and appetite; delusions.

    Tu Siab
    Translation: Broken liver.
    Causes: Loss of family member; quarrel between family members;

    break of family unity.
    Symptoms: Grief; worry; loneliness; guilt; feeling of loss; insecurity.

    Lwj Siab
    Translation: Rotten liver.
    Causes: Stressful family relations; constant unfulfillment of goals.
    Symptoms: Loss of memory; short temper; delusions.

    Before I came to Merced, Bill Selvidge described to me the first
    Hmong patient he had ever seen. Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout would have
    diagnosed this patient as having a difficult liver; Bill thought of it, not so
    differently, as a broken heart. “Mr. Thao was a man in his fifties,” said
    Bill. “He told me through an interpreter that he had a bad back, but after I
    listened for a while I realized that he’d really come in because of
    depression. It turned out he was an agoraphobe. He was afraid to leave his
    house because he thought if he walked more than a couple of blocks he’d
    get lost and never find his way home again. What a metaphor! He’d seen
    his entire immediate family die in Laos, he’d seen his country collapse,

    and he never was going to find his way home again. All I could do was
    prescribe antidepressants.”

    Mr. Thao turned out to be the first of a long procession of depressed
    Hmong patients whom Bill was to treat over the next three years. Bill cut
    to the nub of the matter when he described the man’s profound loss of
    “home.” For the Hmong in America—where not only the social mores but
    also the sound of every birdsong, the shape of every tree and flower, the
    smell of the air, and the very texture of the earth are unfamiliar—the ache
    of homesickness can be incapacitating. In “Lament upon Leaving Our
    Country,” a Hmong poet named Doua Her wrote:

    We remember the bird songs at sunrise.
    We remember the grasshoppers jumping at dawn.
    We remember the sound of heavy raindrops on leaves.
    We remember the song of the male gibbon.
    We remember the fruit trees…the pineapple, banana, and papaya.
    We can still hear the owls cry to each other like we cry.

    John Finck of the Rhode Island resettlement office once took a party of
    Hmong from Providence to visit Plimoth Plantation, a reconstructed
    Pilgrim village with thatched houses and free-running chickens. When it
    came time to leave, one of the older men in the group asked Finck, “Can
    we move here and make this our home?”

    Dang Moua, the energetic grocer-cum-interpreter-cum-pig-farmer,
    mentioned once that after thirteen years in the United States, he dreamed
    of Laos every night and had never once dreamed of America. “I talk to
    more than one hundred Hmong about this,” he said. “I talk to General
    Vang Pao. Same thing for everyone.” In a heroic act of denial, only ten
    percent of the Hmong refugees polled in a Minnesota survey said they
    were certain they would spend the rest of their lives in the United States;
    the rest were either certain or hopeful that they would die in Laos. John
    Xiong, a Hmong leader in Merced, told me, “All the older people, they
    say, We want to go back. We born over there, we come here. Very nice
    country but we don’t speak the language, we cannot drive, we just stay

    home isolated. Over there we can have a little piece of farm, raise
    chicken, pig, and cow, don’t forget to wake up early, harvest on time,
    make enough this year to another coming year. That’s it. Then we feeling
    like peaceful. Here, we do right and they say wrong. Then we do wrong
    and they say right. Which way we go? We want to go home.”

    The home to which the older Hmong dream of returning—which they
    call peb lub tebchaws, “our fields and our lands”—is prewar Laos. Their
    memories of wartime Laos are almost unrelievedly traumatic: a
    “bereavement overload” that critically magnifies all their other stresses.
    Richard Mollica, a psychiatrist who helped found the Indochinese
    Psychiatry Clinic in Boston, found that during the war and its aftermath,
    Hmong refugees had experienced an average of fifteen “major trauma
    events,” such as witnessing killings and torture. Mollica has observed of
    his patients, “Their psychological reality is both full and empty. They are
    ‘full’ of the past; they are ‘empty’ of new ideas and life experiences.”

    “Full” of both past trauma and past longing, the Hmong have found it
    especially hard to deal with present threats to their old identities. I once
    went to a conference on Southeast Asian mental health at which a
    psychologist named Evelyn Lee, who was born in Macao, invited six
    members of the audience to come to the front of the auditorium for a
    role-playing exercise. She cast them as a grandfather, a father, a mother,
    an eighteen-year-old son, a sixteen-year-old daughter, and a twelve-year-
    old daughter. “Okay,” she told them, “line up according to your status in
    your old country.” Ranking themselves by traditional notions of age and
    gender, they queued up in the order I’ve just mentioned, with the
    grandfather standing proudly at the head of the line. “Now they come to
    America,” said Dr. Lee. “Grandfather has no job. Father can only chop
    vegetables. Mother didn’t work in the old country, but here she gets a job
    in a garment factory. Oldest daughter works there too. Son drops out of
    high school because he can’t learn English. Youngest daughter learns the
    best English in the family and ends up at U.C. Berkeley. Now you line up
    again.” As the family reshuffled, I realized that its power structure had
    turned completely upside down, with the youngest girl now occupying the
    head of the line and the grandfather standing forlornly at the tail.

    Dr. Lee’s exercise was an eloquent demonstration of what
    sociologists call “role loss.” Of all the stresses in the Hmong community,
    role loss—the constellation of apparent incompetencies that convinced
    Lia’s mother she was stupid—may be the most corrosive to the ego.
    Every Hmong can tell stories about colonels who became janitors,
    military communications specialists who became chicken processors,
    flight crewmen who found no work at all. Dang Moua’s cousin Moua
    Kee, a former judge, worked first in a box factory and then on the night
    shift in a machine shop. “When you have no country, no land, no house,
    no power, everyone is the same,” he said with a shrug. Major Wang Seng
    Khang, a former battalion commander who served as leader for 10,000
    Hmong in his refugee camp, took five years to find a job as a part-time
    church liaison. Even then, he depended on his wife’s wages from a
    jewelry factory to pay the rent and on his children to translate for him. Of
    himself and his fellow leaders, he said, “We have become children in this
    country.”

    And in this country the real children have assumed some of the power
    that used to belong to their elders. The status conferred by speaking
    English and understanding American conventions is a phenomenon
    familiar to most immigrant groups, but the Hmong, whose identity has
    always hinged on tradition, have taken it particularly hard. “Animals are
    responsible to their masters, and children to their parents,” advised a
    Hmong proverb that survived unquestioned for countless generations. In
    prewar Laos, where families worked in the fields all day and shared a
    single room at night, it was not uncommon for children and their parents
    to be together around the clock. Remoteness and altitude insulated their
    villages from the majority culture. Hmong children here spend six hours
    in school and often several more at large in their communities, soaking
    up America. “My sisters don’t feel they’re Hmong at all,” my interpreter,
    May Ying Xiong, once told me. “One of them has spiked hair. The
    youngest one speaks mostly English. I don’t see the respect I gave elders
    at that age.” Lia’s sister May said, “I know how to do paj ntaub, but I
    hate sewing. My mom says, why aren’t you doing paj ntaub? I say, Mom,
    this is America.”

    Although Americanization may bring certain benefits—more job
    opportunities, more money, less cultural dislocation—Hmong parents are
    likely to view any earmarks of assimilation as an insult and a threat. “In
    our families, the kids eat hamburger and bread,” said Dang Moua sadly,
    “whereas the parents prefer hot soup with vegetables, rice, and meat like
    tripes or liver or kidney that the young ones don’t want. The old ones may
    have no driver’s licenses and they ask the young ones to take them some
    place. Sometimes the kid say I’m too busy. That is a serious situation
    when the kid will not obey us. The old ones are really upset.” Rebellious
    young Hmong sometimes go beyond refusing to chauffeur their parents,
    and tangle with drugs or violence. In 1994, Xou Yang, a nineteen-year-
    old high-school dropout from Banning, California, robbed and murdered
    a German tourist. His father, a veteran of the war in Laos, told a reporter,
    “We have lost all control. Our children do not respect us. One of the
    hardest things for me is when I tell my children things and they say, ‘I
    already know that.’ When my wife and I try to tell my son about Hmong
    culture, he tells me people here are different, and he will not listen to
    me.”

    Sukey Waller, Merced’s maverick psychologist, once recalled a
    Hmong community meeting she had attended. “An old man of seventy or
    eighty stood up in the front row,” she said, “and he asked one of the most
    poignant questions I have ever heard: ‘Why, when what we did worked so
    well for two hundred years, is everything breaking down?’” When Sukey
    told me this, I understood why the man had asked the question, but I
    thought he was wrong. Much has broken down, but not everything.
    Jacques Lemoine’s analysis of the postwar hegira—that the Hmong came
    to the West to save not only their lives but their ethnicity—has been at
    least partially confirmed in the United States. I can think of no other
    group of immigrants whose culture, in its most essential aspects, has been
    so little eroded by assimilation. Virtually all Hmong still marry other
    Hmong, marry young, obey the taboo against marrying within their own
    clans, pay brideprices, and have large families. Clan and lineage
    structures are intact, as is the ethic of group solidarity and mutual
    assistance. On most weekends in Merced, it is possible to hear a death

    drum beating at a Hmong funeral or a txiv neeb’s gong and rattle
    sounding at a healing ceremony. Babies wear strings on their wrists to
    protect their souls from abduction by dabs. People divine their fortunes
    by interpreting their dreams. (If you dream of opium, you will have bad
    luck; if you dream you are covered with excrement, you will have good
    luck; if you dream you have a snake on your lap, you will become
    pregnant.) Animal sacrifices are common, even among Christian
    converts, a fact I first learned when May Ying Xiong told me that she
    would be unavailable to interpret one weekend because her family was
    sacrificing a cow to safeguard her niece during an upcoming open-heart
    operation. When I said, “I didn’t know your family was so religious,” she
    replied, “Oh yes, we’re Mormon.”

    Even more crucially, the essential Hmong temperament—
    independent, insular, antiauthoritarian, suspicious, stubborn, proud,
    choleric, energetic, vehement, loquacious, humorous, hospitable,
    generous—has so far been ineradicable. Indeed, as George M. Scott, Jr.,
    has observed, the Hmong have responded to the hardships of life in the
    United States “by becoming more Hmong, rather than less so.” Summing
    up his impressions of the Hmong in 1924, François Marie Savina, the
    French missionary, attributed their ethnic durability to six factors:
    religion; love of liberty; traditional customs; refusal to marry outside
    their race; life in cold, dry, mountainous areas; and the toughening effects
    of war. Even though their experience here has been suffused with despair
    and loss, the 180,000 Hmong who live in the United States are doing
    passably or better on the first four counts.*

    I was able to see the whole cycle of adjustment to American life start
    all over again during one of my visits to Merced. When I arrived at the
    Lees’ apartment, I was surprised to find it crammed with people I’d never
    met before. These turned out to be a cousin of Nao Kao’s named Joua
    Chai Lee, his wife, Yeng Lor, and their nine children, who ranged in age
    from eight months to twenty-five years. They had arrived from Thailand
    two weeks earlier, carrying one piece of luggage for all eleven of them. In
    it were packed some clothes, a bag of rice, and, because Joua is a txiv
    neeb’s assistant, a set of rattles, a drum, and a pair of divinatory water-

    buffalo horns. The cousins were staying with Foua and Nao Kao until
    they found a place of their own. The two families had not seen each other
    in more than a decade, and there was a festive atmosphere in the little
    apartment, with small children dashing around in their new American
    sneakers and the four barefooted adults frequently throwing back their
    heads and laughing. Joua said to me, via May Ying’s translation, “Even
    though there are a lot of us, you can spend the night here too.” May Ying
    explained to me later that Joua didn’t really expect me to lie down on the
    floor with twenty of his relatives. It was simply his way, even though he
    was in a strange country where he owned almost nothing, of extending a
    face-saving bit of Hmong hospitality.

    I asked Joua what he thought of America. “It is really nice but it is
    different,” he said. “It is very flat. You cannot tell one place from
    another. There are many things I have not seen before, like that”—a light
    switch—”and that”—a telephone—”and that”—an air conditioner.
    “Yesterday our relatives took us somewhere in a car and I saw a lady and
    I thought she was real but she was fake.” This turned out to have been a
    mannequin at the Merced Mall. “I couldn’t stop laughing all the way
    home,” he said. And remembering how funny his mistake had been, he
    started to laugh again.

    Then I asked Joua what he hoped for his family’s future here. “I will
    work if I can,” he said, “but I think I probably cannot. As old as I am, I
    think I will not be able to learn one word of English. If my children put a
    heart to it, they will be able to learn English and get really smart. But as
    for myself, I have no hope.”

    15

    Gold and Dross

    When I met Nao Kao’s cousin and his family at the Lees’ apartment,
    there was, of course, one child who was not playing games with her
    newfound cousins or sitting on the doorstep and watching the cars drive
    down East 12th Street in the spring twilight, the hour the Lees still called
    “pig-feeding time.” Lia was on her mother’s back, swaddled in a bright
    pink nyias, an apron-shaped baby carrier that Foua had embroidered with
    black, yellow, and green cross-stitching and ornamented with eighteen
    fuzzy pink pom-poms. It was perhaps the largest nyias in Hmong history,
    since Lia was more than three feet tall and weighed thirty-six pounds.
    Foua preferred it to the pediatric wheelchair, provided by the Merced
    County Health Department, that sat in a corner of the living room. A
    shawl was wrapped around them both, and from a distance, because Lia’s
    body lay stiff and motionless against her mother’s, they looked like a
    single person.

    Lia was almost seven. For more than two years, her doctors had been
    waiting for her to die, and her parents had been confounding them with
    their ability to keep her alive. Although Lia was not dead, she was
    quadriplegic, spastic, incontinent, and incapable of purposeful movement.
    Her condition was termed a “persistent vegetative state.” Most of the
    time her arms were drawn up tightly against her chest and her fists were
    clenched, a sign of cerebral motor damage. Sometimes her legs trembled.
    Sometimes her head nodded, not in jerks but slowly, as if she were
    assenting to a question underwater. Sometimes she moaned or
    whimpered. She continued to breathe, swallow, sleep, wake, sneeze,
    snore, grunt, and cry, because those functions were governed by her

    unimpaired brain stem, but she had no self-aware mental activity, a
    function governed by the forebrain. Her most conspicuously aberrant
    feature was her eyes, which, although clear, sometimes stared blankly and
    sometimes darted to one side as if she were frightened. Looking at her, I
    could not help feeling that something was missing beyond the
    neurotransmissive capabilities of her cerebral cortex, and that her
    parents’ name for it—her plig, or soul—was as good a term as any.

    I once said to Terry Hutchison, Lia’s neurologist at Valley Children’s
    Hospital in Fresno, “But she must have some consciousness. She can cry,
    and when her mother picks her up and rocks her, she stops.” Dr.
    Hutchison replied, “Well, you take a Venus flytrap. Does it decide to snap
    at a fly that is walking on its pod, or does it just do it? I think it just does
    it. Lia is like a flytrap. It’s all reflex. Nevertheless, I do believe, even
    though there is no way you can ask people like that how they feel, that it
    is at least theoretically possible for her to have no thoughts, no memories,
    no conscious life, and yet respond to her mother’s touch.” I asked Lia’s
    parents what they thought their daughter could sense. Nao Kao said,
    “When we hold her, she knows it and is smiling.” Foua said, “Sometimes
    when I call her, it seems that she does recognize me, but I don’t really
    know, because it seems that Lia cannot see me. My baby hasn’t done
    anything bad. She is a good girl, but because she is hurt like this it is just
    as if she is dead. Every day now, she cannot see me.”

    On December 9, 1986, Lia had returned home from MCMC with a
    fever of 104°, an irregular breathing pattern, an inability to cough up or
    swallow her own secretions, and a prognosis of imminent death. Within
    days, her temperature was normal, her breathing was regular, and her
    swallowing and gag reflexes were back. Scratching their heads, her
    doctors attributed these improvements to reduced swelling in the medulla
    and hypothalamus. Her parents attributed them to the herbal infusion with
    which they had bathed their daughter when she first came home, and for
    many days thereafter. “They’d put a shower curtain on the living room
    floor and lay Lia on it,” recalled Jeanine Hilt. “Foua would drench her in
    this tea remedy that she had cooked up, just sponging it all over her body
    and her hair and her head. It was really quite a soothing thing. A loving

    thing.”
    During Lia’s first days home, Jeanine had visited the Lees every day.

    It was because of her that Foua and Nao Kao left the hated nasogastric
    tube—which they had been directed to use for the remainder of Lia’s life
    —in place for an entire week. Under Jeanine’s guidance, they poured two
    ounces of infant formula down the tube every two hours, checking its
    placement by injecting air through a syringe and listening for the bubbles
    through a stethoscope. “It was really slow,” recalled Nao Kao, “and I
    didn’t really know how to use it. That tube had two plastic things, and if
    the food gets stuck in there, then you can’t feed anymore.” Finally they
    yanked it out of Lia’s nose and started squeezing formula into her mouth
    with a baby bottle. This worked perfectly, even though the doctors had
    predicted that without the tube Lia would choke to death. The only
    problem was that because the prescribed tube was no longer being used,
    Medi-Cal refused to pay for the formula, so Neil and Peggy started giving
    the family entire cases of Similac with Iron, intended to be dispensed as
    free samples to new mothers.

    Medi-Cal was willing to pay for a wheelchair and a suction machine,
    but it drew the line at a pediatric hospital bed. This bed, which the Lees
    had never requested, became the focal point toward which all of Jeanine’s
    grief and rage about Lia’s condition converged. “When Medi-Cal said
    they wouldn’t pay for it, it just pissed me off to the max,” she said.
    “Some all-powerful doctor in the regional bureau said the Hmong sleep
    on the floor anyway so they didn’t need it. He was a real racist and I told
    him so. I just went crazy. Berserk. I started calling a million and one
    places. Finally I got a medical supply company I found in the Yellow
    Pages to provide a brand-new bed and deliver it to the Lees’ home,
    completely free.” Jeanine never found out that Lia did not sleep in this
    bed, which stood for years next to her parents’ double bed, taking up
    space in their tiny bedroom. “Lia always sleeps with us,” Foua told me.
    “She is the only child who sleeps in our bed. I hold her during the night
    and we pat her feet all night long because we love her so much. If you
    don’t pat Lia on her foot or her knee, she cries a lot.”

    The first time Lia returned to the clinic for a checkup, Neil was on

    duty. During her last stay at MCMC, he had so successfully distanced
    himself from her case that although he had seen Lia, he had not seen Foua
    and Nao Kao since their daughter’s return from Fresno. Years later, when
    he looked through Lia’s medical chart, he paused for a long time when he
    came to the clinic note from that visit. I wondered what he found so
    emotionally compelling about “Today, Lia is afebrile with a temperature
    of 98.3° axillary, weight 42 pounds, and hemoglobin is 11.” He cleared
    his throat. “That first visit was a very significant visit for me,” he said.
    “It was very emotional. I remember Jeanine Hilt was in the room too.
    Also an interpreter. I remember talking to the mother and saying it was
    very hard for me to see Lia the way she was, to actually be in the same
    room with her, and that what had happened was something I had always
    feared, and that I was very sorry. And what absolutely blew me away is
    that I, well, I was afraid they were going to blame me for what happened,
    but the mother showed me compassion. She understood—somehow she
    got the—she, well”—Neil was scrabbling uncomfortably for words, but
    he was determined to forge ahead—“well, I think part of it was that I was
    crying. What she did was, she thanked me. And she hugged me. And I
    hugged her.” He cleared his throat again. “So anyway.”

    When I asked Foua about that encounter, all she said was, “Lia’s
    doctor really hurt for her.” Nao Kao scowled and remained silent. He had
    never stopped being angry at MCMC and everyone who worked there.
    Foua, temperamentally more accommodating than her husband, had
    managed to divert all her blame to the doctors in Fresno who had given
    Lia “too much medicine,” thereby partially exonerating Neil and Peggy.
    In her eyes, “the husband and wife doctors” were guilty not of the mortal
    sin of destroying her daughter but of the lesser sin—a sin of omission—
    of going on vacation and leaving Lia in the wrong hands.

    As the months passed, Lia became, in some cockeyed sense, a
    radiantly vital child. Although every page of her chart contained the
    notation “Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy, Static”—irreparable brain
    damage—one clinic report also noted:

    PROBLEM: Seizure Disorder on Depakene Resolved.

    PROBLEM: Obesity Resolved.

    In other words, Lia’s brain damage had cured her epilepsy, and, over
    time, as she grew taller—or rather, longer, since she never stood again—
    her obligatory soft-food diet cured her obesity. “She was real healthy,”
    said Peggy, with jaunty sarcasm. “She was the healthiest she’d ever been.
    She was just perfect. A perfect vegetable.”

    Suddenly, Lia was, as Bill Selvidge once told me dryly, “just the sort
    of patient nurses like.” She had metamorphosed from a hyperactive child
    with a frightening seizure disorder and inaccessible veins into an inert,
    uncomplaining body who would probably never need another IV.
    Simultaneously, in the eyes of the family practice staff, her parents were
    miraculously transformed from child abusers to model caregivers. Teresa
    Callahan, a resident who had seen Lia during both phases, told me, “Her
    mom and dad must have taken wonderful care of her because she grew so
    much. Most kids that are that severely gorked sort of shrivel up and turn
    into a bag of bones. I’ve seen seventeen-year-olds who were the size of
    four-year-olds.” Neil said, “Whenever they brought her into the clinic in
    that baby carrier, Lia was always well-groomed, well-dressed, and
    immaculate. Just immaculate. It was very impressive.” Peggy added,
    “They did a better job than most white families. Most white families
    would institutionalize her in a second.”

    Foua and Nao Kao could never figure out why the clinic staff treated
    them so much better than the hospital staff ever had. From their point of
    view, their daughter had changed utterly, but their behavior as parents
    had not changed in the slightest. The only explanation Nao Kao could
    come up with was, “Lia doesn’t go to the bathroom very often, so she is
    clean and that is why they like her.” (When I heard him ascribe Lia’s
    newfound popularity to her constipation, I was reminded of the comment
    he had once made when I told him I would like to visit Laos some day.
    Having taken due note of America’s obsession with technology and
    hygiene, he said, “You wouldn’t like it. There are no cars. But you would
    think Chiang Mai in Thailand is very nice.” When I asked why, he said,
    “Because it has a lot of garbage collectors.”)

    Now that anticonvulsants were no longer prescribed and compliance
    was no longer an issue, Merced’s doctors, nurses, CPS workers, public
    health workers, and juvenile court officers—the clamorous army of
    authority figures who had been telling the Lees for four years that they
    were not taking good care of their daughter—suddenly fell silent. On
    March 5, 1987, the Lees’ probationary status as Lia’s guardians, which
    had been in effect since their daughter was released from foster care, was
    lifted. “In the Matter of LIA LEE, a Dependent Child of the Juvenile
    Court,” the Superior Court of the State of California for the County of
    Merced declared:

    WHEREAS, it now appears to the satisfaction of the Court that
    it is for the best interests of the above named minor that Juvenile
    Court Jurisdiction be terminated,

    IT IS HEREBY ORDERED that the order heretofore made…
    by this Court, adjudging LIA LEE to be a Dependent Child of the
    Juvenile Court be, and the same is hereby vacated and set aside,
    and the said person is hereby released from the operation thereof.

    Foua and Nao Kao never trusted this document, which of course they
    could not read and which in any case would be almost impossible to
    render in Hmong. They continued to fear that their daughter might once
    again be made government property. For several years, Foua, who never
    let herself forget that she had been visiting relatives on the day Lia had
    been removed to foster care, stayed with her twenty-four hours a day to
    make sure she was not snatched by the “police.” “If we allow,” said Nao
    Kao, “they probably would take her away again, but we just love Lia too
    much and we don’t want anybody to take her. My wife watches Lia every
    day, so they cannot take her. My wife would not let them.”

    The anthropologist George M. Scott, Jr., has written that in Laos,

    Children were generally deeply adored…. Even those with
    physical or mental deformities were showered with affection,
    indeed with even greater affection than normal children, which

    resulted in part from the belief that, as with miscarriages and
    stillbirths, the deformity was the consequence of past
    transgressions on the part of the parents and thus must be borne
    with equanimity and treated with kindness as means of expiation.

    Foua and Nao Kao were fairly sure, but not certain, that transgressions on
    the part of American doctors, not on their own part, were responsible for
    Lia’s condition. But no expiatory motivation was needed. They showered
    Lia with affection because they could not imagine doing otherwise. They
    had always thought of her as an anointed one, a princess. Now, constantly
    attended by her parents and siblings, she had assumed a position in the
    family that was, if anything, even more regal. She was a central stillness
    around which the life of the family condensed. If she sat in her
    wheelchair, someone was always at her elbow; if she was strapped into a
    nyias, her bearer, whether it was her mother, her father, or one of her
    older sisters, did a constant little swaying dance to soothe her. More
    photographs of her hung on the walls than of any of her eight siblings.
    For years, the schedule Jeanine had once written for her—“Wake-up,”
    “Meds,” “Leave for School,” “Playtime”—continued to hang there too,
    even though she no longer took medicines, went to school, or played.
    Whether she still woke up in the morning was a question of semantics.

    Lia was the only Lee child who had birthday parties. Every July 19,
    the sidewalk outside the East 12th Street apartment overflowed with
    relatives and Hmong children. Jeanine Hilt brought Frisbees, beach balls,
    and water pistols. Foua served Hmong eggrolls stuffed with minced pork
    and onion; steamed bananas with rice; chickens that had been sacrificed
    that morning, and their skulls and tongues examined for divinatory signs,
    before they were stewed; and Doritos. There was always an American
    birthday cake. Jeanine lit the candles and cut the first piece. The guest of
    honor, of course, could not blow out her candles or eat her cake. She sat
    in her wheelchair, immobile and impassive, while the children, who had
    learned a standard repertoire of American songs in school, sang “Happy
    Birthday.”

    Lia was still a beautiful child. She was nothing like the patients in

    vegetative states whom I had seen in hospitals, pasty-skinned carcasses
    with slack mouths, hair like straw, bodies that smelled of urine even after
    they were bathed. Lia’s black hair was still shiny, her skin was soft and
    fine, her lips were still pink and shaped like a Cupid’s bow. She smelled
    delicious. It therefore never seemed strange to me that her family treated
    her as one would an especially winsome baby: a diapered, bottle-fed,
    fussing baby who just happened to be three feet tall. Foua cuddled her,
    stroked her, rocked her, bounced her, sang to her, nuzzled her neck,
    inhaled her hair, played with her fingers, and made raspberry sounds
    against her belly. There were also times when Lia seemed more like a pet
    —a golden retriever, perhaps, with strokable fur and a tractable
    disposition. Her younger sister Pang liked to give her bear hugs, tug her
    ears, and then, joined by Mai and True, lie on top of her in a heap: three
    squirming, giggling children and one silent one.

    In Laos, Foua had bathed her children on the dirt floor, using a small
    bowl to pour the stream water that she had warmed on the fire. Now she
    bathed Lia in the porcelain tub every day—on hot days, twice. “I usually
    get in with her,” she said, “because by the time I’m done I’m all wet
    anyway.” After the bath, she bent and extended Lia’s arms and legs, as a
    child would flex the limbs of a Barbie doll, in a series of range-of-motion
    exercises, taught her by the health department, that were intended to
    forestall permanent contractures. She fed Lia by spoon or from a six-
    ounce bottle with a broad, flat, easy-to-suck nipple designed for babies
    with cleft palates. A resident’s note from the MCMC clinic stated that
    “parents feed her formula + rice cereal.” In fact, Lia also ate pork and
    chicken that her mother had ground to a fine consistency with the hand-
    carved mortar and pestle she had brought from Laos. Sometimes Foua
    simply pre-chewed the chicken, like a mother bird, and stuffed it into
    Lia’s mouth. Every day Foua boiled quantities of a spinachlike vegetable
    called zaub, which she grew specially for Lia in the parking lot, and fed
    her the broth. Lia usually straddled Foua’s lap, her long legs sticking out
    on either side, while Foua, after putting her lips to the food to make sure
    it wasn’t too hot, coaxed tiny bites into her mouth. She always wiped
    Lia’s drool with her hand rather than with a napkin or a towel. “It takes a

    long time to eat,” she told me once, as she fed Lia rice. “You have to
    open Lia’s mouth to look inside, because if there is already rice in there
    and you put some more in, she might vomit it back out. You have to hold
    your hand in back of her neck all the time or she can’t swallow.” Then
    she laughed and kissed Lia’s ricey mouth.

    Sometimes I thought: this is not so terrible. Lia lived at home, not in
    a chronic care facility. She was a love object, not a pariah. The Hmong
    community accepted her without reservation. Her mother was not
    suicidal, as she had been after Lia was placed in foster care. It was true
    that Foua and Nao Kao sometimes slighted her siblings, especially Pang,
    who had never been allowed to assume her rightful place as the youngest
    and most coddled member of the family. When Pang was barely out of
    toddlerhood, she zoomed in and out of the apartment unsupervised,
    playing with plastic bags and, on occasion, with a large butcher knife.
    Still, none of the Lees, even the teenagers, ever seemed embarrassed by
    Lia, as most of the American children I knew might be. Because Lia’s
    continual epileptic crises were over, May, as the eldest daughter living at
    home, had been largely relieved of the pressures of serving as her
    parents’ medical interpreter. “I had to go with my parent to the hospital
    to translate,” she wrote in her eighth-grade autobiography, speaking of
    the year after Lia’s return from foster care. “I never had my way out
    cause most of my cousin who my parent needed the most are always busy
    doing this and that. I was like their translater everywhere they go.”
    Carrying her sister in a nyias, feeding her formula, and doing the family’s
    shopping at the Save Mart on J Street were far lighter responsibilities.

    But whenever I began to be lulled by this relatively rosy picture, I was
    drawn up short by an explosion of rage from Nao Kao (“My child is lost
    because of those doctors!”) or, more frequently, by a sudden seepage of
    grief from Foua. One minute Foua would be laughing, and the next she
    would be in tears. She would go for weeks without a word of complaint,
    and then exclaim, “Lia is so heavy! She is so hard to carry! Other people
    see nice places but I never can.” She went for two years without sewing
    any paj ntaub except Lia’s giant nyias. “Lia is too sick,” she said, “and I
    am too sad. I am so busy with Lia that I don’t know anything except

    being alive.” Once I saw her rocking back and forth on her haunches,
    keening. When I asked her what was the matter, she just said, “I love Lia
    too much.”

    A half-finished bottle of Depakene syrup, which was no longer
    prescribed for Lia and which Neil and Peggy assumed had been thrown
    out long ago, continued to sit on a kitchen shelf for years. It was not there
    to be used; it was there because the American doctors had once
    considered it priceless, and discarding it would have been like tossing out
    a pile of foreign coins that were no longer negotiable but had not
    altogether shed their aura of value. Foua and Nao Kao treated Lia with
    what they called “Hmong medicines.” “We can’t give her any kind of
    medicine from the hospital,” Nao Kao explained, “because if we do, she
    gets really tense and her body twists into some kind of tight knot.” They
    fed her teas made from powdered roots, imported from Thailand, which
    they bought at a Hmong-owned market, and from herbs they grew for her
    in the parking lot. A stainless-steel mixing bowl, filled with sacred water
    and covered with two pieces of fringed paper, hung by a length of twine
    from the ceiling of their bedroom. A txiv neeb had placed it there as a
    lure for Lia’s errant soul. About twice a year, or more often if they could
    afford it, a txiv neeb came to their apartment to perform a pig sacrifice.
    For several weeks afterwards, Lia wore soul-binding strings around her
    wrists.

    Because the detested anticonvulsants were no longer prescribed, and
    because Foua’s feelings for Lia’s doctors had become almost fond since
    the day she and Neil had hugged, they continued to carry Lia about once a
    year to the MCMC clinic, though not to the hospital next door. Lia’s
    problems—constipation, conjunctivitis, pharyngitis—could now be dealt
    with on an outpatient basis. When Lia missed an appointment, the clinic’s
    computer, fixed in its imperturbable bureaucratic groove, sent her this
    reminder:

    Dear Lia Lee:
    On 2-29-88 you had an appointment with Dr. Philp which you

    did not keep. Your physician feels that you should be seen. Please

    call the Merced Family Practice Center at 385-7060 so that we can
    schedule another appointment for you.

    Lia never called.
    The Lees’ most frequent encounters with Merced’s medical

    establishment were now the checkups—first weekly, then monthly, then
    two or three times a year—performed by a public health nurse who, like a
    txiv neeb, made house calls. The nurse was named Martin Kilgore. Martin
    was a large, kind, eccentric man who was undoubtedly the only employee
    of the Merced County Health Department with an all-over tan from
    vacationing at a nudist camp. His politics were liberal, his I.Q. (as he
    once confided with a self-deprecating grin) was 150, and his conversation
    was peppered with references to classical literature. He referred to Lia’s
    daimon and her Moira as often as to her hypoxic ischemic
    encephalopathy. Once he compared the relationship between the Lees and
    their medical providers to the myth of Sisyphus, the Corinthian king who
    attempted to cheat Death by placing him in fetters. I mentioned Martin’s
    analogy to Neil. He had never heard of Sisyphus, but when I described
    how the old reprobate had been condemned to roll a boulder up a hill over
    and over again, only to have it roll back down just before he reached the
    summit, Neil said, “That’s perfect!” (Later it occurred to me that
    although Neil instinctively identified with Sisyphus, the Lees would
    undoubtedly have maintained that they were the ones who had done the
    boulder-pushing.)

    Martin had first met Lia and her family in the spring of 1985, before
    she was placed in foster care. He had been sent to the Lee home to
    determine whether her parents were giving her the proper amounts of
    Tegretol and phenobarbital. (They weren’t.) Not knowing what he was in
    for, he wrote a note to MCMC that concluded: “Thank you for this
    interesting referral.” The sheaf of impeccably typed, formally phrased
    letters that he had since dispatched to Neil and Peggy documented, year
    by year, his own gallant efforts to roll the boulder up the hill, and the
    boulder’s repeated descents. His main concern was now Lia’s
    constipation, part of a generalized gastrointestinal slowdown caused by

    her neurological impairment. In February of 1988, when Lia’s vegetative
    state had lasted for about a year, he informed Peggy that “Lia continues
    to have impacted stools on a weekly basis.” His next sentence was a
    model of reportorial tact: “The mother states she is using Metamucil
    assiduously but their bottle is full and covered with dust.”

    Martin once invited me to accompany him on one of his home visits. I
    was curious to see how he and the Lees dealt with each other, since,
    unlike most of Merced’s medical community, Martin was a vocal Hmong
    partisan. He had a clearer grasp of the Hmong role in the war in Laos than
    anyone else I met in Merced, and had written dozens of letters to local
    newspapers castigating the readers for their intolerance. (One reader had
    been so angry he had threatened to blow Martin away with a shotgun,
    causing Martin, for reasons more alphabetical than literary, to change his
    listing in the Merced telephone directory to Joyce Kilmer.) Martin didn’t
    dislike the Lees, or at least preferred them to some of his Caucasian
    clients, whose parenting skills he described as inferior to those of
    chimpanzees. He had so strongly disagreed with Neil’s decision to place
    Lia with a foster family that, jettisoning all professional objectivity, he
    had once told Nao Kao, “Mr. Lee, in America we get lawyers when
    people do things like that.” I figured that if anyone could communicate
    with the Lees, it would be Martin.

    When Martin and his interpreter Koua Her arrived at the Lees’
    apartment, Foua was kneeling on the floor, feeding Lia a bottle of water,
    and Nao Kao was sitting next to her with Pang on his lap.

    “HELLO MR. LEE!” Martin boomed. Nao Kao focused on the wall-
    to-wall carpet and said nothing.

    Martin lowered himself to the floor. “Now, Mr. Lee,” he said, “what
    is your daughter eating? Is it mostly liquid?” I realized, with surprise,
    that the Lees had never told him about the chicken and pork Foua mashed
    with her mortar and pestle. Koua Her, a small, conscientious, self-
    effacing man, translated Martin’s question in a scarcely audible voice, as
    he translated—or attempted to translate—all of Martin’s subsequent
    questions from English to Hmong, and the Lees’ answers from Hmong to
    English.

    Foua mumbled something. “She says it is very soft food,” said Koua.
    “Well,” said Martin, “empirically Lia is not gaining or losing weight.

    I can tell that whatever they are doing nutritionally is definitely all right.”
    Without explaining what he was doing, he started to tickle Lia’s feet.

    He noted her Babinski reflex, an extension of the big toe that signifies
    damage to the central nervous system. He then put his stethoscope against
    her abdomen. Lia started to howl like a wolf. Foua put her face next to
    Lia’s and crooned, “Tch, tch, tch.”

    “I am listening for bowel sounds,” said Martin. “I hardly hear any
    bowel sounds so now I am going to listen to her chest. Her lungs are
    good. Now, the last time I was here, I talked about why it would be nice if
    we could take her temperature every day, just so we could find out if
    there is a problem coming up. Do they remember that?”

    Koua said, “She said, yes, they do that, every day.”
    Martin looked pleased. “And what is her usual temperature?”
    “She says 30 or 40.”
    That stopped Martin momentarily, but he pressed on. “Ah. Well. Let’s

    move to the pulse, then.” He burrowed his finger between the soul-
    binding strings on Lia’s wrist. “Now I’m counting her pulse. She has a
    pulse of 100. It is good if the mama can take her pulse every day.”

    “She says they don’t know how to tell the pulse,” said Koua.
    “Well, you just put your finger here, and take your watch, and count

    for a minute.” Foua didn’t own a watch, nor did she know what a minute
    was.

    At this point, Pang, who was three at the time, ran over to Lia and
    started banging her on the chest.

    “Don’t do that, there’s a good boy,” said Martin, addressing the little
    girl in English, of which she did not speak a word. “Koua, please tell
    them they have got to watch these other little children. Lia is not a doll.”
    He coughed. “Now, let us proceed to elimination. Does Lia have a bowel
    movement by herself or do they have to give her a pill first?” He was
    referring to the Dulcolax tablets that the Lees sometimes used. Like fast-
    acting antibiotics, laxatives were acceptable to many Hmong because
    they worked quickly, unambiguously, and without apparent side effects.

    “She says they use the pill for it to come out.”
    “Well, it is really better not to use those pills on a regular basis. It

    would be better to give her fiber, in the form of Metamucil, because if
    you keep using the medicine, then Lia will lose the ability to move her
    bowels by herself and she will always have to have the medicine, and that
    is a bad thing.” When Koua translated this, Foua and Nao Kao stared at
    him. For four years, they had been told to give Lia medicine that they
    didn’t want to give her. Now they were being told not to give her
    medicine that they did want to give her.

    “I want to tell them the story of my grandfather,” continued Martin.
    “For the last twenty years of his life, he had to eat Epsom salts because he
    started using those laxatives and he couldn’t stop. Do they know what
    Epsom salts are? Terrible-looking stuff. Magnesium sulfate.” Koua
    looked baffled; I’m not sure how he translated “magnesium sulfate.” “So
    if I could send my spirit back in time to talk to my grandfather, I would
    say, Grandfather, don’t start down that road! Take Metamucil! But don’t
    put it in her formula, okay? Formula is milk, and milk constipates people.
    You might as well feed her glue. They could try putting the Metamucil in
    a bottle of prune juice, okay? Prune juice would unplug anything. That
    would be a real depth bomb. Do they know what prune juice is?”

    They obviously didn’t, and neither did Koua. When he reached that
    point in his translation, he simply inserted the English words “prune
    juice” into the middle of a long Hmong sentence. I preferred not even to
    imagine how he translated “depth bomb.”

    “It is made out of plums,” explained Martin. “You take a plum and
    you dry it. Then you make juice out of it. I am going to write it down for
    them so they can look for it in the store.” And on a piece of yellow paper,
    in huge capital letters, he wrote:

    PRUNE JUICE

    Nao Kao took the piece of paper and looked at it blankly. Even if he had
    been able to read the words, he had no idea what a prune was.

    “Now, Koua,” said Martin, “before we leave, I was just curious. I was
    noticing Lia has some bands on her wrists, and I was recently reading in a
    book about Hmong people and the Hmong religion, and I wondered how
    did they explain what happened to Lia in terms of their religion?”

    The Lees’ faces closed as abruptly as a slammed door.
    “He said they don’t know anything about that,” said Koua.
    I thought: But they just spent an hour the other night talking about

    how dabs steal souls! They would have gone on for another hour if May
    Ying hadn’t had to get home. What had come over them today? It seemed
    as if my open, animated, garrulous friends, faced with someone they
    viewed as an authority figure—even though he would probably have quit
    his job before he ever treated them coercively—had entered a vegetative
    state themselves. They hadn’t said twenty words since Martin arrived.
    They hadn’t laughed, smiled, or looked him in the eye. And then I
    thought: these must be the people Neil and Peggy have been dealing with
    all these years. No wonder everyone but Jeanine thinks they are
    impenetrable and stupid. Of course, Martin had undergone an equally
    unseemly metamorphosis himself, from savant to bumbler. It was as if,
    by a process of reverse alchemy, each party in this doomed relationship
    had managed to convert the other’s gold into dross.

    “Well,” said Martin, rising with difficulty from the floor, “it looks as
    if that is the best we can do today. They have my card”—which of course
    might as well have been written in cuneiform—“and they should
    remember I am here to help them. If you folks can get the prune juice, I
    would advise it. Goodbye, Mr. Lee. Goodbye, Mrs. Lee.”

    As we walked to Martin’s car, with Koua trailing silently ten paces
    behind, Martin frowned. He knew that the visit had gone badly, but he
    couldn’t put his finger on why. Had he not been courteous? Had he not
    shown his respect for the Hmong culture by expressing an interest in the
    Lees’ spiritual beliefs? Had he not refrained from criticizing them, even
    when he felt they were wrong?

    “I gave them my full shot,” he said. “You saw how patiently I
    explained things to them.” He sighed, long and slow. “I do the best I can.
    On some days I think of Lia as a character in a Greek tragedy. By

    Euripides, perhaps. On other days—well, I just think about Metamucil.”

    16

    Why Did They Pick Merced?

    My first day in Merced, several months before I met the Lees, I drove
    around and around in my rented car, looking for Hmong, and didn’t see a
    single one. My friend Bill Selvidge had told me one out of every six
    Merced residents was Hmong, and it was on the strength of that
    prodigious statistic that I had come. I thought he must have made a
    mistake. The people who strolled their babies along the sycamore-lined
    avenues north of Bear Creek and gunned their pickups down the quaintly
    superannuated main street—I didn’t know yet that most of the fancy
    business had shifted to the Merced Mall uptown—all looked as
    homegrown as characters from American Graffiti, which was set in
    Modesto, the next big town up Highway 99. When I stopped in the R
    Street Exxon for gas, I asked Frank, the man who Windexed my
    windshield, whether he knew where the Hmong lived.

    “That part of town across the tracks is just crawling with them,”
    Frank said. “It’s so crowded with Hmongs you can’t hardly move. I sure
    know we got a lot of them. What I don’t know is why they’re here. I
    mean, why did they pick Merced?” He then volunteered an anecdote
    about some Hmong who had been caught fishing in a county lake without
    licenses. “When the police came, they got down on their knees. They
    thought they were going to be executed!” He threw back his head and
    laughed.

    Martin Kilgore told me later that Dumb Hmong stories were a
    lamentable staple of Merced’s agricultural community, some of whose
    members had hundred-year-old roots in the Central Valley. “In Fresno,
    the Aggies make ethnic jokes about the Armenians,” he said. “In

    Stanislaus, it’s the Portuguese. Here, it’s the Hmong.” There was the
    Hmong mother who heard a policeman say, “If your child misbehaves,
    you can always chain him to the TV,” and took it literally. There were the
    Hmong farmers who fertilized their crops with human excrement. There
    were the Hmong tenants who punched holes in their walls to
    communicate with their relatives next door. There was the large Hmong
    family who lived in a one-bedroom, second-floor apartment. The
    American couple who lived below them complained that their roof was
    leaking. When the landlord checked, he found the Hmong had all moved
    into the bedroom, covered the floor of the living room with a foot of dirt,
    planted vegetables, and watered them.

    Who knew whether these stories were true? In the climate that had
    fostered Frank’s genial bigotry, did it matter? As a Hmong proverb puts
    it, “All kinds of vessels can be plugged, but you can’t plug people’s
    mouths.” Over the last century and a half, the Central Valley had
    involuntarily swallowed wave after wave of foreign-born settlers:
    Mexicans, Chinese, Chileans, Irish, Dutch, Basques, Armenians,
    Portuguese, Swedes, Italians, Greeks, Japanese, Filipinos, Yemenites,
    East Indians. Each had occasioned its own individually tailored flurry of
    xenophobia, of which the Dumb Hmong stories were merely the most
    recent model. In the 1880s, the Anti-Chinese Association of Merced had
    served a similar defensive purpose, provoked by the Cantonese who had
    come to pan gold along the Merced River and lay tracks for the Central
    Pacific Railroad, and stayed to work in the brick factory near Bear Creek
    and run fan-tan parlors along 14th Street. So had the Merced County
    Anti-Japanese Association, which had tried to expel Japanese farmers in
    the 1920s. So had Merced’s 200-to-1 vote, just before the end of World
    War II, against permitting Japanese-Americans interned in relocation
    camps to return to their old homes.

    I followed Frank’s directions and crossed the tracks of the Southern
    Pacific Railroad, a freight line that parallels 16th Street in south Merced,
    which used to be Chinatown before it was razed in 1950 to make room for
    Highway 99. He was right. On the wrong side of the tracks, everyone was
    Hmong: the first Hmong I had ever seen. In front of the dingy two-story

    apartment buildings, coveys of children were chasing each other, kicking
    balls—they had learned soccer at Ban Vinai—and playing txwv, a form of
    jacks in which pebbles are tossed and caught. The parking lots harbored
    more potted herbs than cars, and there were two community gardens, as
    dense and green as vest-pocket rain forests, striped with rows of bok
    choy, bitter melon, and lemongrass. In a local grocery, Soua Her and his
    wife, Yia Moua, sold fifty-pound bags of rice, quail eggs, shredded squid,
    audiocassettes by local Hmong bands, sequins for decorating paj ntaub,
    mentholated tape for treating headaches, sticky ointments for treating
    bruises, camphor balm for drawing out fevers, and aromatic wood chips
    for making a tea that, as Yia Moua explained to me, “flush out the bad
    dead blood after lady have baby.”

    I had no idea at the time, but I had landed in the most intensely
    Hmong place in the United States. Fresno and Minneapolis-St. Paul have
    larger Hmong populations, but Merced’s Hmong constitute a far greater
    fraction of the local population. When I first visited Merced, the fraction
    (just as Bill Selvidge had promised) was one sixth; now it is one fifth.
    That critical mass, as Blia Yao Moua put it, “lets us keep more Hmong
    culture here than in Vientiane.” Sometimes I felt that the other cities of
    the Central Valley—Fresno, Visalia, Porterville, Modesto, Stockton,
    Sacramento, Marysville, Yuba City—were mere suburbs of Merced.
    Hmong families constantly drove from city to city to visit relatives, and
    if they moved elsewhere in the valley, they returned to Merced for
    subclan gatherings, just as residents of satellite settlements in Laos had
    returned to their home villages. With fourteen Hmong clans—Cheng,
    Fang, Hang, Her, Kong, Kue, Lee, Lor, Moua, Thao, Vang, Vue, Xiong,
    and Yang—represented in Merced, young people had no problem finding
    exogamous marriage partners. It was easy, even on short notice, to find a
    txiv neeb to negotiate with a pathogenic dab, an herbalist to concoct a
    healing tisane, a clan elder to mediate a dispute, or a qeej player to guide
    a dead person’s soul back through the twelve heavens with his hauntingly
    resonant cluster of six steamed bamboo tubes. (In Merced, where bamboo
    is hard to come by, qeejs are sometimes made of PVC plumbing pipe. It
    is said that if the qeej player is good, the soul will have no trouble

    following directions from the plastic.*)
    The anthropologist Eric Crystal once told a reporter for the Merced

    Sun-Star how extraordinary it was to hear the Hmong language spoken in
    the Kmart on J Street, when fifteen years earlier it had been impossible to
    hear it anywhere in the Western world. Crystal is a former free-speech
    activist who overflows with so many ideas and enthusiasms that he
    effervesces rather than converses. He has studied Merced’s Hmong
    community, and he once curated a local exhibit of Hmong folk objects:
    bamboo vegetable baskets, opium harvesting knives, shamanic regalia.
    When I went to see Crystal in his office at U.C. Berkeley and told him I
    was living in Merced, he became so excited he started bouncing up and
    down in his chair. “You’re so lucky!” he exclaimed. “If I lived down in
    that place, I’d be running around with the Hmong every minute! I mean, I
    just love Merced. Not that the Hmong aren’t a hassle. They are a huge
    hassle. When I first went down there they were kind of hostile. You
    know, what the hell do you want? Who the hell do you think you are?
    Fuck off! The Mien are so delighted when anybody pays attention to them
    that they practically ask you to move in with them about two minutes
    after you sit down. The Cambodians are really happy if you show that you
    are interested in Cambodia. But the Hmong—they just test you every
    minute. Once you pass the test, though, they are fantastic. The Hmong are
    one of the best organized, most focused groups you could find any place
    on earth. They have the best leadership, they’re the most able to
    cooperate among themselves, they’re the most committed to preserving
    their ethnic identity, they’re the most conscious of their own place in the
    world. You can see all that down in Merced. Those Hmong are really into
    being Hmong.”

    The longer I spent in Merced, the more often I found myself asking:
    How in heaven’s name could this have happened here? How could more
    than 10,000 villagers from the mountains of Laos possibly be living in a
    place that hosted the Yosemite Dental Society Smile Contest and the
    Romp ’n Stompers Square Dance; that sent out Welcome Newcomer kits
    (which no Hmong had ever requested) containing fliers for the Sweet
    Adeline Singers and the Senior Citizens Whittling Workshop; and that

    awarded ribbons at its annual county fair for Best Infant Booties, Best
    Lemon Pie, and Best Udder?

    In other words, as Frank had asked, “Why did they pick Merced?” The
    answer to that question, as I gradually found out, boiled down to two
    words: Dang Moua. It is probably a good thing that Frank does not know
    Dang, the indefatigable grocer, interpreter, and pig farmer who had once
    been a clerk-typist at the American Embassy in Vientiane. If Frank were
    to learn that from the Hmong point of view Dang bears the same relation
    to Merced that Daniel Boone bore to Kentucky or the Pied Piper bore to
    Koppelberg Hill, he might not be properly grateful. On the other hand,
    Dang might impress him by his almost unbelievably sedulous pursuit of
    the American dream. The first time I walked into Dang’s office at
    California Custom Social Services, the interpreting and liaison agency he
    had founded, he was on the phone. He was talking rapidly in Hmong, but
    every once in a while, when he collided with a concept for which there
    was no Hmong equivalent, he threw in an English term: “lack of
    communication,” “deposition,” “application,” “bank manager,” “conflict
    of interest.” Dang was round-faced and sturdy, with a CEO’s air of
    authoritative self possession. He wore a large Casio watch that beeped
    and a large gold ring that said “D.” His business card was red, white, and
    blue. Commercial patriotism evidently ran in the family. His cousin,
    Moua Kee, whose office adjoined Dang’s, supported his family largely by
    teaching Hmong about Christopher Columbus, Betsy Ross, and the
    advantages of the bicameral system in preparation for their naturalization
    examinations. Although he raised sacrificial pigs, Dang was selective in
    his spiritual dogmas, and for reasons of expedience he had excluded dabs.
    “I call myself a multi-religious believer,” he explained. “I don’t believe
    in ghost because I like to be the boss of the ghost, and if you are afraid of
    ghost, the ghost is your boss.” It was clear that no one would ever be
    Dang’s boss but Dang.

    Dang Moua and his family used to live in Richmond, Virginia, where
    they were the only Hmong. The first time they saw snow there, soon after
    they arrived from Thailand in early 1976, Dang thought someone had
    come while they were asleep and sprayed all the trees with salt. He

    worked eighteen hours a day, 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. to 6:00
    a.m., folding newspapers, a job that took little advantage of his five
    languages and made him so “deep sleepy,” as he put it, that he feared if
    he kept it up, “I notice I must be dead in three years.” He earned $2.90 an
    hour. In his spare time—I have always wondered when that was—he went
    to the Richmond library and read about prevailing climates, soil
    conditions, and crop yields in other states. His brother, who lived in
    southern California, mentioned that the Central Valley had good weather
    and many different ethnic groups. Dang had heard through the Hmong
    grapevine that General Vang Pao was planning to buy a large fruit ranch
    near Merced, and that also influenced his decision. “So I go buy a white
    1970 stick-shift Hornet for $550,” he recalled. “I tell my sponsor from
    the American church, Tomorrow I will leave to California. He was very
    surprise! He say, You know, it’s a robbery, it’s an earthquake out there,
    but I say my mind is made. So then he say, You return that car and we
    will give you a V-6 Cherokee. I say, I thank you for that but if I take your
    car I owe you something. They were so mad! Next morning, I burn some
    joss stick and pray for my ancestor to lead me for a safe trip. My sponsor
    say, You don’t need to do that, you should pray to the Lord! I say, Your
    Lord let me have too many problem here in America. So I put a pan of
    water outside with some rice to pray to the god of the mountains, and my
    tears come. I never cry in my life, not even going to Thailand, and that
    was hell, but now I cry. I say, I’m small but I am an adult person. I have
    to pursue now my plan.”

    With the back end of his Hornet nearly scraping the ground beneath
    the trunkful of clothing, pots, pans, dishes, and a television set, and the
    front end sticking up so high he could barely see over the hood, Dang
    drove his family west for two days and two nights on Interstate 40,
    following the sun. He arrived in Merced with $34. It was mid-April 1977.
    The skies were so clear that he could see the Coast Range to the west and
    the Sierras to the east. The air was sweet with almond blossoms. In mid-
    summer Merced is an oven, and in the winter, a chilling fog blows off the
    reservoir whose resident dab, according to Foua, once caught her and
    followed her home. But in the spring—as Steinbeck’s Joads were told as

    they approached the great green expanse, after making a journey much
    like the Mouas’—the Central Valley is “the purtiest goddamn country
    you ever seen.” There were miles and miles of ripe peaches and figs,
    which Dang got a job picking, and jackrabbits and squirrels he could
    easily trap for dinner. The town itself was clean and quiet, with an orderly
    grid of streets laid out by the Central Pacific Railroad in 1872. There
    were no beggars or derelicts. Flat as a bowling green and 167 feet above
    sea level, Merced was in some ways an outlandish address for a
    montagnard, but it was better than Richmond, and it was incalculably
    better than the slums of Hartford and Detroit, where some of Dang’s
    clanspeople lived. Most people drive through Merced en route from one
    place to another—Sacramento to Bakersfield, San Francisco to Yosemite
    —but to Dang, worn beyond weariness by the journey from Laos to
    Thailand to Virginia to California, it was the long-desired terminus. Vang
    Pao’s plan to buy the fruit ranch failed, partly because the County Board
    of Supervisors had public misgivings about the refugees it might attract
    and partly because the general had an inauspicious dream the night before
    he was to sign the contract. Nonetheless, the favorable buzz about Merced
    and the rest of the Central Valley had already spread to discontented
    Hmong communities across the United States. A trickle, and then a flood,
    of dilapidated cars began to stream in from the east.

    “It was just wild!” recalled Eric Crystal. “You’d see these Arkansas
    plates and stuff on the streets, I mean they were just pouring in from all
    over the place! Merced is incredible now, but it was particularly
    incredible then.” It is doubtless easier to wax enthusiastic about the
    Hmong of Merced if you are a visiting anthropologist than if you are a
    resident taxpayer. “S’pose a fella got work an’ saved, couldn’ he get a
    little land?” Tom Joad had asked, and he was told, “You ain’t gonna get
    no steady work.” So it was with the Hmong, who couldn’t get the high-
    end agricultural jobs because they had no English and no experience and
    couldn’t get the low-end ones because Mexican migrants had already
    filled them. At first the Merced Sun-Star treated the newcomers like
    exotic guests, though it was chary of printing the word “Hmong,” which
    could be found in no atlas or dictionary. (Local reporters called the

    Hmong “Laotians” Dang Moua’s five languages were “a local dialect,
    Laotian, Thai, French, and English.”) Soon, however, the Hmong—for
    whom the code word became “refugees”—started to make headlines:
    “Refugees Drain Limited Services” “Refugee Students Jam the Schools”
    “Supervisors Ired by Meager State Funds Allocated for Area Refugees”
    “More $$ Needed for Refugees.”

    More $$ were needed because of an economic catastrophe that began
    in Merced in the early eighties and continues today. Merced was never
    rich. During the last three decades it has ranked between number 35 and
    number 53, of California’s fifty-eight counties, in per capita income. It
    was limping along comfortably enough, however, until the Hmong came
    —an event that happened to coincide with a nationwide recession as well
    as deepening cutbacks in both federal and state social programs. Seventy-
    nine percent of the Hmong in Merced County—as compared with
    eighteen percent of the county’s other residents—receive public
    assistance. By 1995, Merced had achieved the unwanted distinction of
    having a greater fraction of its population on welfare than any other
    county in the state. The federal government picks up half the welfare
    costs, the state picks up 47½ percent, and the county picks up 2½ percent.
    That 2½ percent sounds like a pittance, but in recent years, it has
    amounted to nearly two million dollars annually—two and a half times as
    much as it was in 1980—to which is added nearly a million dollars in
    administrative costs. While scrambling to meet its other financial
    obligations, the county has found those millions by closing three
    libraries; ceasing to maintain twenty-one of its twenty-four parks; leaving
    five sheriff posts vacant; increasing the caseloads of all six of its judges;
    reducing the staff of its probation department; reducing road
    maintenance; cutting the budgets for arts and culture, recreation, senior
    citizens’ programs, and veterans’ services; and transferring all its fire
    departments to the state department of forestry. The welfare reform bill,
    if it is not revised, will only make matters worse by forcing the county,
    which is unlikely to let its residents starve, to make up for at least some
    of the evaporated federal funds. I asked a county social worker what
    would happen if neither the bill nor the demographics of Merced’s

    population were to change. “Bankruptcy,” she said.
    Of course, the Hmong are not solely—or even primarily—responsible

    for Merced’s fiscal crisis. Merced has plenty of white and Hispanic
    welfare recipients. They occasion less notice and less resentment than the
    Hmong because, although their numbers are large, their percentages are
    small: that is, most of the Hmong are on welfare, and most of the
    members of Merced’s other ethnic groups are not. And although welfare
    has become the most conspicuous focal point for public rage, Merced
    County has been simultaneously strained by several other even more
    expensive problems: the accelerating transfer of agricultural work from
    people to machines; double-digit unemployment—about three times the
    national level—almost every month since 1980; the 1995 closing of
    Castle Air Force base, which had provided more than a thousand jobs to
    local residents; and a 1992 restructuring of California sales and property
    taxes that returned more to the state and less to the county.

    The crucial distinction is that you cannot see a restructured property
    tax, but when you drive down almost any street on the South Side, you
    can certainly see the Hmong. In a county where seven out of ten people
    voted for Proposition 187, California’s 1994 referendum to ban public
    services to illegal immigrants, even legal immigrants are unlikely to be
    received with open arms. That is not to say that everyone in Merced
    grumbles about the Hmong. The local churches have always treated them
    generously. And a small but fervent corps of well-educated professionals,
    most of them liberal transplants from other cities, concur with Jeff
    McMahon, a young reporter at the Sun-Star who told me, “The one thing
    that makes Merced different from every other dusty little town in the
    Central Valley is that there are so many Southeast Asians here. Their
    culture is a blessing to this community. How else would Merced ever
    earn a place in history?” The Sun-Star now features a Cultural Diversity
    Page, and the tourist brochure distributed by the Merced Chamber of
    Commerce includes, next to pictures of the county courthouse and the
    local wildlife museum’s stuffed polar bear, a photograph of a smiling
    Hmong woman (albeit dressed in a Lacoste polo shirt) holding a
    dazzlingly green armful of lettuce and string beans. Especially during the

    eighties, when the Hmong were novel and exciting, many of Merced’s
    women rallied to their cause. Volunteers in the Befriend-a-Refugee
    Program took Hmong families to the Applegate Zoo and invited them to
    backyard barbecues. Dan Murphy’s wife, Cindy, taught Hmong women
    how to use sewing machines and self-cleaning ovens. Jan Harwood, a 4-H
    Club youth adviser, organized a course (locally referred to as the tidy-
    bowl class) to train Hmong women for housekeeping jobs. Jan’s
    interpreter, a man named Pa Vue Thao, was so impressed by the
    enthusiasm with which she demonstrated the use of Lysol, Comet, and
    Spic and Span that when Jan broke her leg, he reciprocated by gathering
    moss from the 4-H Camp’s trees and teaching her how to make an herbal
    compress to reduce the swelling.

    The warmest welcome I ever saw the Hmong receive was a
    Naturalization Ceremony, held in the boardroom of the Merced County
    Administrative Building, in which eighteen Hmong—as well as two
    lowland Lao, nine Mexicans, five Portuguese, three Filipinos, two
    Vietnamese, two Indians, a Thai, a Korean, a Chinese, an Austrian, and a
    Cuban—became American citizens. Each received a copy of the
    Constitution, a history of the Pledge of Allegiance, a picture of the Statue
    of Liberty, a congratulatory letter from the President of the United States,
    a little American flag, and—courtesy of Lodge No. 1240 of the
    Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks—unlimited free soft drinks.
    Standing next to a mounted copy of the Merced county song (“We are
    known for sweet potatoes / And milk and chickens too / Tomatoes and
    alfalfa / And almonds great to chew”), Judge Michael Hider told the
    assembled multitude, many of whom could not understand a word but
    listened respectfully nonetheless, “We’ve all come together from many
    places to form one great country—including myself, for my father was a
    naturalized citizen who came from Lebanon. In America, you don’t have
    to worry about police breaking down your doors. You can practice any
    religion you want. There’s such complete freedom of the press that our
    newspapers can even attack our leaders. If the government feels they need
    your land, they cannot just take it away from you. Most importantly,
    every one of you has the same opportunity as the person sitting next to

    you. My father never could have dreamed that his son would be a judge.
    Your children can be doctors. I just get carried away when I talk about
    how wonderful it is to be a citizen of the United States! Congratulations!
    You’re one of us!”

    But while I was listening to Judge Hider, I thought of a conversation I
    had had not long before with Dr. Robert Small, the unfalteringly
    opinionated MCMC obstetrician, whose views are shared by a large
    segment of Merced’s population. “I and my friends were outraged when
    the Hmong started coming here,” he told me. “Outraged. Our
    government, without any advice or consent, just brought these
    nonworking people into our society. Why should we get them over
    anybody else? I’ve got a young Irish friend who wants to get a U.S.
    education and wants to work. He can’t get in. But these Hmong just kind
    of fly here in groups and settle like locusts. They know no shame, being
    on the dole. They’re happy here.” When I mentioned the high rate of
    depression among Hmong refugees, Dr. Small said, “What do you mean?
    This is heaven for them! They have a toilet they can poop in. They can
    drink water from an open faucet. They get regular checks and they never
    have to work. It’s absolute heaven for these people, poor souls.”

    I had also spoken with the more temperate John Cullen, director of
    the Merced Human Services Agency, which administers public
    assistance. “Merced has been a fairly conservative, WASPy community
    for many years,” he said. “The other nationalities that are part of our
    community came here over a long period of time, but the Hmong came in
    one big rush. They were a jolt to the system. That inevitably causes more
    of a reaction. And they do take more than their share of the county’s
    income. You can’t deny that the county has been seriously, seriously
    impacted. I think Merced’s reaction to the Hmong is a matter of water
    swamping the boat, not a matter of racism.”

    On occasion, however, it is a matter of racism. One day Dang Moua
    was walking out of his grocery store, the Moua Oriental Food Market,
    when a man he had never seen before drove by and started yelling at him.
    “He is maybe forty-year-old person,” recalled Dang. “He is driving ’84
    Datsun. He say to me, Shit man, why you come to this country? Why

    didn’t you die in Vietnam? Well, my father always say to me, if someone
    act like a beast to you, you must act like a person to him. So I try to smile
    and be nice. I say, I’m a citizen just like you are. I say, Give me your
    phone number, you come to my house and eat Hmong food and we talk
    two or three hour. But he run away. Maybe he is veteran and he convince
    I am enemy.”

    Dang’s hypothesis is not as farfetched as it sounds. Many people in
    Merced have confused the Hmong with the Vietnamese—including the
    former mayor, Marvin Wells, who once informed a Chamber of
    Commerce luncheon that the “Vietnam refugees” in California were “a
    problem.” It is not uncommon to hear the Hmong called “boat people,”
    although Laos is landlocked, and the only boat most Hmong are likely to
    have seen was the bamboo raft on which they floated, under fire, across
    the Mekong River. At least the real boat people, the former South
    Vietnamese, were United States allies. A more unsettling assumption was
    revealed by the MCMC maintenance man who, conflating the Hmong
    with the Vietcong, told Dave Schneider that the hospital was patronized
    by “too many fucking gooks.”

    Over and over again, the Hmong here take pains to explain that they
    fought for the United States, not against it. Dang Moua is a one-man
    public-relations outfit, constantly hauling out an old National Geographic
    with a picture of his uncle in a military uniform, or popping a videotape
    about the Armée Clandestine into his VCR. One man from a nearby
    Central Valley town made sure that even after his death there could be no
    mistake about his past. His tombstone in the Tollhouse Cemetery
    northeast of Fresno—where dozens of Hmong, reminded of Laos by the
    hilly topography, chose to be buried until local residents started
    complaining about their loud funerals—reads:

    BELOVED FATHER AND GRANDFATHER

    CHUA CHA CHA
    APRIL 20, 1936

    FEBRUARY 27, 1989
    HE SERVED FOR THE C.I.A. FROM 1961 TO 1975

    In 1994, there was a demonstration in Fresno by Hmong welfare
    recipients, many of whom were former soldiers, protesting a new
    requirement that they work sixteen hours a week in public service jobs,
    which they called “slavery.” Like older Hmong across the country who
    still believed in “The Promise”—the CIA’s alleged compensation
    contract—they assumed that aid with no strings attached was no more
    than their proper due. They expected the Americans to be grateful for
    their military service; the Americans expected them to be grateful for
    their money; and each resented the other for not acting beholden.

    In the Director’s Conference Room at the Merced Human Services
    Agency, there hangs a huge paj ntaub that tells the story of the end of the
    war in Laos. In a series of embroidered and appliquéd images, Hmong
    families try to crowd into four American airplanes at Long Tieng, walk to
    Thailand carrying huge loads on their backs, attempt to swim across a
    wide river, settle in Ban Vinai, and, finally, load their belongings onto a
    bus that will take them to an airplane bound for the United States. Across
    from the paj ntaub there is a computer from which the welfare files of
    thousands of Hmong can be accessed. The Lees, like many Hmong
    families whose records have been kept here, are intimately familiar with
    the grief chronicled by the paj ntaub but oblivious to the anger induced
    by the computer files. When I asked Foua and Nao Kao how they felt
    about being on welfare, Foua said, “I am afraid the welfare will go away.
    I am afraid to look for a job because I am afraid I could not do it. I am
    afraid we would not have food to eat.” Nao Kao said, “In Laos we had our
    own animals and our own farm and our own house, and then we had to
    come to this country, and we are poor and we have to have welfare, and
    we have no animals and no farm, and that makes me think a lot about our
    past.” Neither of them said a word about what Americans might think of
    them for not working. For them, that was not the issue. The issue was
    why the American War had forced them to leave Laos and, via a reluctant
    trajectory that would have been unimaginable to their parents or their
    parents’ parents, wind up in, of all places, Merced.

    Sometimes I felt that the Hmong of Merced were like one of those

    visual perception puzzles: if you looked at it one way you saw a vase, if
    you looked at it another way you saw two faces, and whichever pattern
    you saw, it was almost impossible, at least at first glance, to see the other.
    From one angle, the welfare statistics looked appalling. From another, it
    was possible to make out small but measurable signs of progress: that
    during the past decade, despite the periodic arrival of new JOJs from
    Thailand, the public assistance rate had declined by five percent; that
    more than 300 graduates of government-funded job-training programs
    were now operating sewing machines, making furniture, assembling
    electronic components, and working in other local industries; that dozens
    of local Hmong women had started taking English classes following a
    1995 change in federal welfare regulations—a warmup to the 1996 bill—
    that required both parents in intact families to study or work unless there
    was a child under three or a disabled family member at home. (The
    requirement to “work” would be more effective if Merced actually had
    jobs.)

    When you looked at the Merced school system, what you saw again
    depended on your point of view. From one perspective, the Hmong
    children—who multiplied at a rate that made Dr. Small just shake his
    head and keep muttering the word “contraception”—were a disaster. In
    order to relieve overcrowding and to desegregate schools that would
    otherwise be almost entirely Asian, Merced has had to bus nearly 2,000
    of its elementary and middle-school students; build three new elementary
    schools, a new middle school, and a new high school; teach classes in
    more than seventy trailers and, while waiting for them to arrive, in
    cafeterias, on auditorium stages, and in the exhibition hall of the County
    Fairgrounds; and switch seven schools to a staggered all-year calendar.

    On the other hand, Hmong children rarely caused disciplinary
    problems and regularly crowded the honor rolls.* Four of the Lee children
    received their classes’ Student-of-the-Month awards. Rick Uebner, who
    taught May Lee’s eighth-grade Language Arts class, once wrote me a
    letter that described May as “a leader among her peers and a clear-
    thinking, confident person.” He continued:

    Almost exclusively, the Hmong are hard-working, quick-learning
    students. Their parents are eager to attend conferences, in spite of
    language barriers. On many occasions students have acted as
    interpreters for their parents and me. Typically the parents thank
    me for teaching their child, ask if he or she is working hard
    enough, wonder if there is any problem with the child showing
    proper respect and inquire if there is anything that they can do at
    home to help.

    At a conference I attended on college and career planning for Hmong
    teenagers, Jonas Vangay, standing under a sign that said EDUCATION: THE KEY
    TO YOUR FUTURE, told his almost preternaturally quiet audience, “In America,
    even when the child is in the stomach, the mother thinks about books and
    pencils. Your parents grew with knife or hammer or tool. They cannot
    help you. Let your book be your best friend. For if you cannot learn in
    school, whose fault is it? Who is to blame?”

    No one said a word.
    “Answer me!” thundered Jonas.
    Finally, in a small voice, a boy said, “Yourself.”
    “Right!” said Jonas. “Do not be afraid! If you are a chicken boy or

    chicken girl, and you keep quiet, the examination will come and you will
    fail! Those who cannot learn cannot be successful! We want you to be
    successful in the year 2000!”

    There was silence in the room. Then the students burst, or crept, into
    muted applause.

    Although many Hmong teenagers in Merced are as wholesome and
    deferential as those in Jonas’s audience, a few have joined the Men of
    Destruction, the Blood Asian Crips, the Oriental Locs, or one of the other
    gangs which, in a perverse distortion of the group ethic, started spreading
    through the Central Valley in the mid-eighties. Merced has black and
    Hispanic gangs as well, but local police officers agree that the Hmong
    gangs are the most likely to carry guns and the most likely to use them.

    I occasionally heard mutterings about Hmong gangs, but local
    residents who disliked the Hmong seemed to be far more obsessed with

    smaller, stranger crimes. I was told countless times that the Hmong
    kidnapped underage brides. I also heard that they smuggled drugs. The
    local police department confirmed that opium had been found inside ax
    handles, picture frames, bamboo chairs, teabags, and packages of
    noodles. There were also many tales about Fish and Game violations. The
    Merced Sun-Star ran an article about Hmong who poached bass from the
    San Luis Reservoir with 1,550-foot setlines, drove deer into ambushes by
    banging on pots and pans, and served stewed pied-bill grebe for dinner.
    None of these stories was false, but they were all partial. Left out of the
    telling were all the extenuating circumstances: that Hmong marriage
    customs had a cultural context unfamiliar to Americans;* that opium
    smuggling was uncommon, and most of the contraband was intended for
    medicinal use by the elderly; that in Laos, all the hilltribes had hunted
    and fished without rules, seasons, or limits; and that once they reached
    adulthood, the Hmong here, as in other parts of the country, had a low
    overall crime rate compared with other people below the poverty line.

    The most frequent accusation I heard was that the Hmong were
    terrible drivers. They seemed fine to me, so I went to the Department of
    Motor Vehicles and asked John McDoniel, the manager, what he thought.
    He said, “In many respects I am happy to have these people as neighbors,
    but as far as driving ability goes—well, that’s another matter. Violations
    of pedestrian right-of-way. Going through stop signs. Not realizing their
    speed. All errors of judgment. Also, when they come to get their licenses,
    some of them cheat on the written test.”

    “How do they cheat?” I asked.
    “They sew,” said Mr. McDoniel.
    “They sew?”
    Mr. McDoniel, who wore trifocals and looked a little like Ed Wynn,

    opened the top left drawer of his desk. “Well, the ones who don’t know
    English can’t read the questions, and they answer at random and take the
    corrected answer sheets home and share them with their friends. Some of
    them just memorize the dots on the page. Five different tests, forty-six
    questions, three answers—let me see, 46 times 15 is 690 dots. They’re
    very good at memorization, but that’s an awful lot of dots, so quite a few

    of them bring in these little cribs.”
    He reached in the drawer and took out an eyeglass case. In flawless

    cross-stitch—a different color for each of the test’s five versions—a paj
    ntaub artist had sewn microscopic X’s to indicate whether, for each
    question, the correct answer was the first, second, or third option.

    Next he took out a checked coat. On each lapel, certain squares had
    been blocked in with thread.

    Next he took out a striped pullover with almost invisible white
    stitches down the front and along each sleeve.

    Next he took out a white shirt with minute blue stitches on the cuffs.
    “Real neat work, isn’t it?” he said admiringly.
    I concurred. Then I asked, “What do you do when you catch someone

    using one of these?”
    “He fails the test, and we confiscate the crib.”
    It occurred to me that an awful lot of Hmong must exit from the

    Department of Motor Vehicles wearing fewer clothes than when they
    walked in.

    Late that night, I lay on the floor in Bill Selvidge’s study, where I was
    staying. Next to my sleeping bag I had taped photographs of Hmong:
    Hmong children from the National Geographic wearing paj ntaub;
    Hmong teenagers from the Merced Sun-Star wearing jeans; the Lee
    family, wearing slightly off-kilter American clothes, in pictures I had
    taken myself. I found them all very beautiful, and I often stared at them
    for hours when I couldn’t sleep. That night, for some reason, the phrase
    “differently abled”—a substitute for “disabled” that had enjoyed a brief
    vogue among progressive journalists—kept buzzing around my head. I
    had always disliked the term, which struck me as euphemistic and
    patronizing. Suddenly, I realized why it was keeping me awake. I had
    been trying all day to decide whether I thought the Hmong were ethical or
    unethical, and now I saw it: they were—in this case, it was a supremely
    accurate phrase—differently ethical.

    The Hmong, it seemed to me, were abiding, in spades, by E. M.
    Forster’s famous dictum that it is better to betray one’s country than
    one’s friend. Since they had never had a nation of their own, and had been

    persecuted by every nation they had inhabited, they could hardly be
    expected to harbor an extravagant respect for national jurisprudence.
    Rules and regulations were particularly breakable if they conflicted with
    the group ethic—which, after all, is an ethic, not just an excuse to flout
    someone else’s ethic. Hmong folktales are heavily populated with
    characters, clearly meant to be perceived as virtuous, who lie to kings,
    dragons, dabs, and other authority figures in order to protect their
    families or friends. I had heard innumerable modern versions in which
    some synecdochical representative of the U.S. government had played the
    role of righteously deceived dab. In the Thai camps, Hmong had claimed
    their children were older than they really were, so they could receive
    larger food allotments; claimed their parents were younger than they
    really were, because it was rumored that the United States considered old
    people undesirable; and told immigration officials that collateral
    relatives were members of their immediate families. In the United States,
    they had claimed their children were younger than they really were, so
    they could stay in school longer; lied to doctors in order to get disability
    benefits; claimed they had separated from a spouse in order to increase
    the family’s welfare allowance; and, among the younger generation, let
    friends copy their schoolwork. Not all the Hmong I knew had done these
    things. Most had not. But those who had were unashamed. In fact, the
    ones who had lied to immigration officials had been amazed, when they
    reached the United States and discussed their experiences with their
    American sponsors, to find that their behavior was regarded as unethical.
    What would have seemed unethical—in fact, unpardonable—to them was
    leaving their relatives behind.

    Nao Kao Lee, who couldn’t read a word of English, had passed his
    driving test, in precisely the manner John McDoniel had described, by
    memorizing where to place the X’s on his answer sheet. He had been
    asked to make a set of prescribed pencil marks; he had done so. In fact,
    his success on the test—which seemed to him a purely technical
    challenge, not an assessment of his ability to drive safely—was a triumph
    of intelligence over bureaucracy. However, it never would have occurred
    to him to go to so much trouble if he had been able to pass by

    conventional methods. (Not long after my conversation with John
    McDoniel, the California Department of Motor Vehicles instituted oral
    and written tests in Hmong, and the rate of cheating among Hmong
    applicants declined to a level comparable with that of Merced’s other
    ethnic groups.) Nao Kao viewed his driver’s license as a matter of patent
    necessity: how else was he to visit his relatives? The family came first,
    then the clan, then the Hmong people, and everything and everybody else
    ranked so far below those three that it would have been blasphemy to
    mention them in the same breath. I believe that Nao Kao, like most
    Hmong, would rather die than deceive a member of his family or clan.

    The group ethic enabled Nao Kao not only to pass his driving test but
    to make unequivocal decisions in every sphere of his life, to assess
    people’s characters with confidence, and to operate almost entirely within
    the supportive Hmong community rather than within the larger and
    harsher world of America. On a larger scale, the exigent pull of ethnic
    solidarity was what made the Hmong so openhanded, so good at
    teamwork, and so warm. But it seemed to me that, especially for the
    community’s educated leaders, the obligation to put the group before the
    self also had some negative consequences: stress, loss of privacy, a
    punishing sense of responsibility. Nao Kao’s age and his lack of English
    insulated him from the conflicts and ambiguities of having one foot in
    one culture and one in another. His life, if not joyous, was at least clear.
    This was not the case with the Hmong who shared high status in both the
    Hmong and the American communities.

    Dang Moua was an exception. He had so much forward momentum
    that stresses and doubts simply flowed off him, like water from a torpedo.
    Also, although Dang spent many hours doing what nearly all literate,
    English-speaking Hmong of his generation did—deciphering other
    people’s junk mail, filling out their tax forms, telephoning agencies,
    translating notes from school—he charged for these tasks. Most Hmong
    did them for free. I heard about one multilingual woman, once a nursing
    administrator in Xieng Khouang province, who had worked as a Hmong
    liaison after settling in Minnesota. She became so exhausted by the
    incessant demands of the Twin Cities’ Hmong community, both during

    and after work hours, that she moved to Merced without telling her clan
    and got a job that allowed her to deal only with Americans. “Don’t call
    her,” I was told. “She’s trying to lie low.” Family loyalty—the group
    ethic concentrated to an even more potent form—also had its downside.
    Pa Vue Thao, the interpreter who had made an herbal compress to heal
    Jan Harwood’s broken leg, told me he had once been offered a lucrative
    job at U.C. Davis. He had turned it down, with regret but without
    hesitation, after his father, angry that Pa Vue would even consider leaving
    his relatives in Merced, asked him, “Does money mean more or does the
    family mean more?”

    In the early seventies, out of the more than 300,000 Hmong in Laos,
    there were only thirty-four—all men—who were studying at universities
    overseas. Two of them had resettled in Merced: Blia Yao Moua and Jonas
    Vangay. Both had won scholarships to the Lycée Nationale, Vientiane’s
    most elite secondary school, and had obtained bachelor’s and master’s
    degrees from French universities. Jonas left a job as a computer analyst
    in a Paris suburb to immigrate to the United States in 1983, just after the
    largest wave of Hmong refugees, most of them illiterate farmers like the
    Lees, had been admitted. Blia came the same year, leaving an executive
    position at an international packaging company. “I move here to help
    because it was my moral responsibility,” he told me. “If my generation
    stay in France, we would feel guilty.” Blia and Jonas were more
    intellectually cosmopolitan not only than every Hmong they knew, but
    also than every American they knew, including myself. Their leadership
    roles in Merced had earned both of them respect, but little money, and, as
    far as I could see, little peace of mind.

    I knew Blia Yao Moua best. There was a period of a few months when
    I spent almost every afternoon sitting in his office, a windowless cubicle
    with fake wood paneling, asking questions about Hmong religion,
    military history, medical practices, kinship patterns, weddings, funerals,
    music, clothing, architecture, and gastronomy. It was from Blia that I
    learned, for example, that if I wronged another person, I might be reborn
    in my next life as my victim’s buffalo and used for farm work; that what
    American doctors called the Mongolian spot—a bluish birthmark on the

    buttocks of many Asian babies—was in fact the place where the babies
    had been spanked, in utero, by a dab; and that the shoes Hmong corpses
    wore for burial had upturned toes. Blia looked like a frayed aristocrat,
    with a high domed forehead and finely drawn features. Although he was
    almost exactly my age—in his mid-thirties when we first met—I always
    felt like a child in his presence, partly because I sat in a chair with a tiny
    desk attached, the way I had in sixth grade, and partly because he knew so
    much more than I did and was so patient with my ignorance. I remember
    countless occasions, after I had asked him to provide a rational
    explanation for a nonrational custom, when he just shook his head gently
    and said, “Anne, may I explain to you again. The Hmong culture is not
    Cartesian.”

    Blia was the executive director of Lao Family Community, a mutual-
    assistance organization that helped Merced’s Hmong community
    negotiate the public-assistance labyrinth, apply for job training, resolve
    community conflicts, and keep abreast of news from Laos and Thailand.*
    It was quartered in an old truck depot near the Kmart. Signs on the wall,
    next to Hmong-language handouts on fair housing laws and disability
    insurance, said PLEASE HELP YOURSELF OUT and YOU MAY WANTED NEWS . The Hmong
    community might not always meet the expectations of the American
    community, but it certainly knew how to run itself. Blia once drew me a
    flowchart—which was Cartesian—delineating how his organization
    worked. “At the top is the president and advisory board of eight,” he
    explained. “Then eleven Board of Director. Then seventeen district
    leaders. Then our 6,000 members. Let us say we need a hundred dollars to
    help out person who will be evicted. The seventeen district leaders carry
    the news, and everyone donate five cents or ten cents. Tomorrow we get
    that money. Or if one person die, tomorrow money will flow back to help
    that family. If there is change in welfare rules, we get out information the
    same way. If someone have problem with their child, we can solve
    problem inside Hmong community before it gets to the police. This way,
    6,000 people we can serve with four or five people working in our office.
    No problem.”

    No problem, that is, if those four or five people had no private life

    whatsoever. Blia’s eyes were often puffed and bloodshot from lack of
    sleep. Once he came to work after staying up all night mediating between
    the Merced police and a Hmong family who, while bringing a sacrificed
    pig home from Fresno, had had a traffic accident that distributed parts of
    the pig across the northbound lanes of Highway 99. He spent another
    night dealing with three teenaged girls who had run away from their
    homes in Fresno and stolen some money from an uncle in Merced. After
    persuading the uncle not to report the theft to the police, Blia took the
    girls home, woke his pregnant wife, and asked her to cook them a meal
    while they waited for their parents. The parents were not grateful. “They
    are angry because I should have acted more severely,” he told me. “I did
    not know until they arrive, but I am related to all those families by my
    clan and my wife’s clan. That is terrible! In our culture, this means I have
    same duty as parents to give the children a lesson. I should have spank
    them. I did not do my right duty.”

    I saw Blia’s face light up only once, the time he described an
    ambitious housing scheme he had conceived. “I would like to share with
    you what we are dreaming of for the future,” he said. “Some of us hope to
    establish a Hmongtown, on the other side of Childs and Gerard Avenues.
    If we can make the financial package to buy this land, we can build two,
    three hundred houses. The Hmong house in Laos has a cross like an X at
    the top. We can do that here too. Each family can have a small garden.
    We can have our own Hmong shopping center. Our Hmongtown will
    boost morale because people will take good care of it. We will lose face
    if white person is seeing that Hmongtown is dirty. Having our own town
    will help Hmong people to become more economically self-sufficient. If
    this dream can come true, this will be very good for Hmong image!”

    But when I came back to Merced a year later, no one had heard of
    Hmongtown, and Blia had resigned from his job at Lao Family
    Community and was selling insurance door-to-door. An American who
    knew him told me, “Blia is the most burned-out Hmong I ever saw.” He
    later moved to St. Paul, Minnesota, where he counsels Asian students and
    teaches a course on Hmong culture at Metropolitan State University. His
    telephone number is now unlisted.

    Like Blia, Jonas Vangay translated, mediated, counseled, and
    interceded on twenty-four-hour call. At the end of his speech at the
    college and career conference I had attended, Jonas had told his teenaged
    audience, “Call me any time during the day or night,” and I knew that he
    would be taken literally. He had heavy family responsibilities as well.
    Explaining to me once why his family shared their home with two of his
    brothers, one of whom had nine children, he said, “I have another older
    brother who is very American now. He refuse to accept our brothers to
    live with him. He say, Here in the United States it is everyone for
    himself. I say, I am Hmong. For the Hmong, it is never everyone for
    himself.”

    Jonas was thin and wiry and handsome, although, like almost every
    well-educated Hmong I knew, he always looked dog-tired. His real name
    was Vang Na. He had changed it to Jonas Vangay when he was living in
    France, because he thought that his résumé would garner more job offers
    if he did not sound so Asian. He now had two jobs, as a bilingual
    education specialist for the Merced school system and as a Hmong-
    language teacher at Merced College. I used to talk to him, using a
    mixture of English and French, in an elementary school classroom, seated
    again at a child’s desk. I never asked a question about Hmong history or
    linguistics that he was unable to answer.

    Because, like Blia, Jonas was always busy but never turned me away,
    I decided to find a way to thank him for his help. Should I give him a
    gift? This seemed hazardous; he might feel he should reciprocate. Also, I
    didn’t trust my gift-selecting instincts. Once, in an attempt to bridge the
    miles between Laos, Merced, and New York City, I had given Foua and
    Nao Kao a small plastic globe, only to find that they believed the earth
    was flat. Should I invite Jonas and his wife to Bill Selvidge’s house? This
    might confuse them; there was no recognized Hmong category for
    platonic friends who shared living quarters.

    “Why don’t you invite them to a nice restaurant?” suggested Bill.
    So one evening, at 7:00 sharp, I sat waiting for Jonas in the lounge at

    a local steakhouse called the Cask ’n Cleaver. He had told me his wife
    could not join us because she had to take care of their children. I

    suspected he might also be embarrassed because her English was
    rudimentary.

    The restaurant’s hostess, who wore a silver lamé top and a miniskirt,
    asked me whom I was waiting for.

    “A Hmong man who has helped me with my work,” I said.
    The hostess looked surprised. “I just moved to Merced,” she said,

    “and I don’t know nothing about the Hmongs. I just saw my first one
    today. My boyfriend said, That’s a Hmong. I said, How can you tell the
    difference? They look just like Chinamen to me. My boyfriend says
    they’re the worst drivers in the world. When he sees one, he goes clear
    ’cross town to stay away from them! I guess Hmongs don’t come to
    restaurants like this very often.” (They sure don’t , I thought. And by the
    way, you’re not fit to polish Jonas’s boots.)

    Jonas arrived forty-five minutes late, saying he had been delayed by a
    student. I never knew if he had known from the start that he couldn’t
    make it at seven, and had agreed to the time because he thought that was
    what I wanted to hear, or whether (the story of his life) he had once again
    been pulled in two mutually exclusive directions. The dinner was not a
    success. Despite his five languages, Jonas had difficulty understanding
    the waitress, a teenager who spoke rapid Valley-Girl, and had to ask me
    several times what she was saying. Out of politeness—certainly not from
    lack of sophistication, since he had eaten at plenty of Parisian restaurants
    that would make the Cask ’n Cleaver look like McDonald’s—he ordered
    the cheapest entrée on the menu. Our conversation was formal and
    halting. Jonas was obviously relieved when we left. Afterwards, we stood
    in the parking lot, talking in the dark.

    “You know, Anne,” he said quietly, “when I am with a Hmong or a
    French or an American person, I am always the one who laughs last at a
    joke. I am the chameleon animal. You can place me anyplace, and I will
    survive, but I will not belong. I must tell you that I do not really belong
    anywhere.”

    Then Jonas drove home to his wife, his three children, his brothers,
    his brothers’ wives, his brothers’ ten children, and his ringing telephone.

    17

    The Eight Questions

    Lia did not die, nor did she recover. Foua often dreamed that her daughter
    could walk and talk, but when she awoke, Lia lay curled next to her in
    bed, a slight, silent husk who hardly seemed big enough to contain her
    family’s load of memory, anger, confusion, and grief. She lay suspended
    in time, growing only a few inches, gaining little weight, always looking
    far younger than her age, while the Lee siblings who still lived at home—
    six athletic, bilingual children who moved with ease between the Hmong
    and the American worlds—grew up around her. Cheng joined the Marine
    Reserves and was called to serve in the Gulf War, but to Foua’s nearly
    hysterical relief, the war ended two days before his scheduled flight to
    Saudi Arabia. May went to Fresno State University, majoring in health
    science, a choice influenced by her childhood experiences, both positive
    and negative, as the ad hoc arbitrator between her parents and the medical
    establishment. Yer, a volleyball star who had won the award for Best Girl
    Athlete at Merced High School, joined May at Fresno State two years
    later, majoring in physical education. True became Merced High’s
    student body treasurer and president of its Youth Culture Club, a Hmong
    social and service organization with more than 200 members. Mai
    became a stand-out soccer player and was known as one of the most
    beautiful teenagers in Merced, a reputation that caused boys to fight over
    her and girls all too frequently to resent her. Pang grew from a harum-
    scarum toddler into a self-possessed schoolgirl with a flair for traditional
    Hmong dance. There were a few tremors as the Lee children passed
    through adolescence, but never the rifts that American families accept
    almost as a matter of course. “My parents are the coolest parents in the

    world,” True once wrote me. “We don’t have everything in the world, but
    we do have the closeness of us eight sisters, one brother, and our parents.
    This is the coolest family ever and I would never trade it for anything
    else in this world.”

    Nao Kao gained weight and was troubled by high blood pressure.
    Foua felt tired much of the time. Seeing that their energies were waning,
    Jeanine Hilt urged the Lees to let Lia return to the Schelby Center for
    Special Education each day, not to educate her—that was a thing of the
    past—but to give her parents a few hours’ respite each day. Because of
    their persistent fear that Lia might be stolen from them again by the
    government, the Lees were reluctant at first, but because they trusted
    Jeanine, they eventually agreed.

    Dee Korda, one of whose foster children was severely retarded and
    also attended Schelby, frequently saw Lia there, lying on her back with
    her hands strapped to blocks in order to prevent her fingers from
    stiffening into claws. She could hardly bear to look. The Kordas had all
    taken Lia’s neurological catastrophe hard. The entire family had gone
    through therapy at the Merced County Mental Health Department in order
    to deal with what Dee called “Lia being dead but alive.” At their
    counselor’s suggestion, the children—biological, foster, and adopted—
    drew pictures on butcher paper. “Wendy drew a mom and a baby, because
    Lia was with her mom,” said Dee. “Julie drew a rainbow with clouds and
    birds, because Lia didn’t have to cry anymore. Maria is real withdrawn,
    but when we told her about Lia she cried. Lia got through to her! She
    drew a broken heart with a jagged fence and an eye looking in from the
    outside. The heart was the sadness. The fence was the wall that Lia had
    gotten over by touching our lives. The eye was my eye, watching the
    sadness, with a tear that cried.”

    In 1993, while she was vacationing at Disneyland, Jeanine Hilt had an
    acute asthma attack, went into respiratory failure, and suffered oxygen
    deprivation so severe that she lost all brain function: in other words, she
    developed hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy, exactly the same fate that
    had befallen Lia. She died three days later with her partner of eighteen
    years, Karen Marino, at her side. “When I heard Jenny was dead, my

    heart broke,” Foua told me. “I cried because Jenny had told me she
    wasn’t going to get married and she would never have any children of her
    own, so she would help me raise my children. But she died, so she
    couldn’t do that, and I felt I had lost my American daughter.”

    Neil Ernst won the MCMC residency program’s first Faculty Teacher
    of the Year award. Peggy Philp became Merced’s County Health Officer,
    a post her father had held more than forty years earlier. They continued to
    share their pediatric practice as well as housework and child care,
    scrupulously negotiating what one of their Christmas letters described as
    “a blur of laundry, lunches, cleaning, patient care, newborn resuscitation,
    and resident teaching.” Their understanding of the Lees, and the Lees’
    understanding of them, deepened significantly when they, too,
    experienced a child’s grave illness. During his last month of third grade,
    their elder son, Toby, was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia.
    When Neil tried to tell Dan Murphy about the diagnosis, he cried so hard
    he couldn’t talk. After one of Lia’s checkups, Neil wrote me:

    Mrs. Lee had heard that our son had leukemia. It was truly
    amazing how quickly she heard of this. When Peggy saw Lia in
    our clinic, Mrs. Lee was very concerned about Toby’s health, how
    he was doing etc. There was very genuine concern expressed by
    her questions and facial expression. At the end of the visit Mrs.
    Lee was hugging Peggy and they were both shedding a few tears.
    Sorrows of motherhood cut through all cultural barriers.

    Toby underwent three years of chemotherapy and achieved what seems to
    be a permanent remission. “Lia’s mother continues to occupy a special
    place in our thoughts,” wrote Neil in a later letter. “She always asks about
    Toby. Our contacts with her are very infrequent because her family
    provides excellent care for Lia, but they are special nonetheless.”

    Since Lia’s brain death, whatever scant trust Foua and Nao Kao had
    once had in American medicine had shrunk almost to zero. (I say
    “almost” because Foua exempted Neil and Peggy.) When their daughter
    May broke her arm, and the doctors in the MCMC emergency room told

    them it needed a cast, Nao Kao marched her straight home, bathed her
    arm in herbs, and wrapped it in a poultice for a week. May’s arm regained
    its full strength. When a pot of boiling oil fell from the electric stove
    onto Foua’s skirt, setting it on fire and burning her right hip and leg, she
    sacrificed two chickens and a pig. When Foua got pregnant with her
    sixteenth child, and had an early miscarriage, she did nothing. When she
    got pregnant with her seventeenth child and had a complicated
    miscarriage in her fourth month, Nao Kao waited for three days, until she
    started to hemorrhage and fell unconscious to the living room floor,
    before he called an ambulance. He consented to her dilation and curettage
    only after strenuous—in fact, desperate—persuasion by the MCMC
    resident on obstetric rotation. Nao Kao also sacrificed a pig while Foua
    was in the hospital and a second pig after she returned home.

    Before she was readmitted to Schelby, Lia was routinely vaccinated
    against diphtheria, pertussis, and tetanus. At about the same time, she
    started to develop occasional seizurelike twitches. Because they were
    brief, infrequent, and benign—and also, perhaps, because he had learned
    from bitter experience—Neil decided not to prescribe anticonvulsants.
    Foua and Nao Kao were certain that the shots had caused the twitches,
    and they told Neil that they did not want Lia to be immunized ever again,
    for anything.

    Dan Murphy, who became the director of MCMC’s Family Practice
    Residency Program, once told me that when you fail one Hmong patient,
    you fail the whole community. I could see that this was true. Who knew
    how many Hmong families were giving the hospital a wide berth because
    they didn’t want their children to end up like the second-youngest Lee
    daughter? Everyone in Merced’s Lee and Yang clans knew what had
    happened to Lia (those bad doctors!), just as everyone on the pediatric
    floor at MCMC knew what had happened to Lia (those bad parents!).
    Lia’s case had confirmed the Hmong community’s worst prejudices about
    the medical profession and the medical community’s worst prejudices
    about the Hmong.

    At the family practice clinic, the staff continued to marvel at the
    quality of care the Lees provided to their clean, sweet-smelling, well-

    groomed child. But at the hospital next door, where the nurses had had no
    contact with Lia since 1986, the case metastasized into a mass of
    complaints that grew angrier with each passing year. Why had the Lees
    been so ungrateful for their daughter’s free medical care? (Neil—who did
    not share the nurses’ resentment—once calculated that, over the years,
    Lia had cost the United States government about $250,000, not counting
    the salaries of her doctors, nurses, and social workers.) Why had the Lees
    always insisted on doing everything their way? Why—this was still the
    worst sin—had the Lees been noncompliant? As Sharon Yates, a nurse’s
    aide, told me, “If only the parents had given Lia the medicine, she
    wouldn’t be like this. I bet when she came back from that foster home,
    they just didn’t give her any medicine.”

    But I knew that when she returned from foster care, Foua and Nao
    Kao had given Lia her medicine—4 ccs of Depakene, three times a day—
    exactly as prescribed. Hoping to clear up some questions about Lia’s
    anticonvulsants, I went to Fresno to talk with Terry Hutchison, the
    pediatric neurologist who had overseen her care at Valley Children’s
    Hospital. I had noticed that in one of his discharge notes, written nine
    months before her neurological crisis, he had described Lia as “a very
    pretty Hmong child” and her parents as “very interested and very good
    with Lia.” I had never seen phrases like that in her MCMC chart.

    Bill Selvidge had told me that Dr. Hutchison was “a known
    eccentric,” beloved by his residents for his empathy but dreaded for his
    insistence on doing rounds at 4:00 a.m. He had an exiguous crewcut and
    on the day I met him was wearing a necktie decorated with a large bright-
    yellow giraffe. A sign in the hall outside his office, hung at toddler eye
    level, read:

    KIDS ZONE

    ENTER WITH CARE AND LOVE

    When I asked him about the relationship between Lia’s medications and
    her final seizure, he said, “Medications probably had nothing to do with

    it.”
    “Huh?” I said.
    “Lia’s brain was destroyed by septic shock, which was caused by the

    Pseudomonas aeruginosa bacillus in her blood. I don’t know how Lia got
    it and I will never know. What I do know is that the septic shock caused
    the seizures, not the other way around. The fact that she had a preexisting
    seizure disorder probably made the status epilepticus worse or easier to
    start or whatever, but the seizures were incidental and not important. If
    Lia had not had seizures, she would have presented in a coma and shock,
    and the outcome would probably have been the same, except that her
    problem might have been more easily recognized. It was too late by the
    time she got to Valley Children’s. It was probably too late by the time she
    got to MCMC.”

    “Did her parents’ past noncompliance have anything to do with it?”
    “Absolutely nothing. The only influence that medications could have

    had is that the Depakene we prescribed might have compromised her
    immune system and made her more susceptible to the Pseudomonas.”
    (Depakene occasionally causes a drop in white blood cells that can
    hamper the body’s ability to fight infection.) “I still believe Depakene
    was the drug of choice, and I would prescribe it again. But, in fact, if the
    family was giving her the Depakene as instructed, it is conceivable that
    by following our instructions, they set her up for septic shock.”

    “Lia’s parents think that the problem was caused by too much
    medicine.”

    “Well,” said Dr. Hutchison, “that may not be too far from the truth.”
    I stared at him.
    “Go back to Merced,” he said, “and tell all those people at MCMC

    that the family didn’t do this to the kid. We did.”
    Driving back to Merced, I was in a state of shock myself. I had known

    about Lia’s sepsis, but I had always assumed that her seizure disorder had
    been the root of the problem. The Lees were right after all, I thought.
    Lia’s medicine did make her sick!

    That night I told Neil and Peggy what Dr. Hutchison had said. As
    usual, their desire to ferret out the truth outweighed their desire—if

    indeed they had one—to defend their reputation for infallibility. They
    immediately asked for my photocopy of Lia’s medical chart, and they sat
    together on Bill Selvidge’s sofa, combing Volume 5 for evidence,
    overlooked during the crisis, that Lia might already have been septic at
    MCMC. Murmuring to each other in their shared secret language
    (“calcium 3.2,” “platelets 29,000,” “hemoglobin 8.4”), they might have
    been—in fact, were—a pair of lovers exchanging a set of emotionally
    charged intimacies.

    “I always thought Lia got septic down at Children’s when they put all
    those invasive lines in,” said Peggy. “But maybe not. There are some
    signs here.”

    “I did too,” said Neil. “If I’d thought she was septic here at MCMC, I
    would have done a lumbar puncture. I didn’t start her on antibiotics
    because every single time Lia had come in before that, she was not septic.
    Every other time, the problem was her seizure disorder, and this was
    obviously the worst seizure of her life. I stabilized her, I arranged for her
    transport, and then I went home before all the lab results were back.” He
    didn’t sound defensive. He sounded curious.

    After Neil and Peggy went home, I asked Bill Selvidge whether he
    thought Neil had made a mistake in not recognizing and treating Lia’s
    sepsis, even though Dr. Hutchison believed that her fate was probably
    sealed before she arrived in the MCMC emergency room—and even
    though the increasing severity of her epilepsy might eventually have led
    to serious brain damage if sepsis had never entered the picture.

    “Neil leaves no stone unturned,” said Bill. “If Neil made a mistake,
    it’s because every physician makes mistakes. If it had been a brand-new
    kid walking off the street, I guarantee you Neil would have done a septic
    workup and he would have caught it. But this was Lia. No one at MCMC
    would have noticed anything but her seizures. Lia was her seizures.”

    To MCMC’s residents, Lia continued to be her seizures—the memory
    of those terrifying nights in the emergency room that had taught them
    how to intubate or start IVs or perform venous cutdowns. They always
    spoke of Lia in the past tense. In fact, Neil and Peggy themselves
    frequently referred to “Lia’s demise,” or “what may have killed Lia” or

    “the reason Lia died.” Dr. Hutchison did the same thing. He had asked
    me, “Was Lia with the foster parents when she died?” And although I
    reminded him that Lia was alive, five minutes later he said,
    “Noncompliance had nothing to do with her death.” It wasn’t just
    absentmindedness. It was an admission of defeat. Lia was dead to her
    physicians (in a way, for example, that she was never dead to her social
    workers) because medicine had once made extravagant claims on her
    behalf and had had to renounce them.

    Once I asked Neil if he wished he had done anything differently. He
    answered as I expected, focusing not on his relationship with the Lees but
    on his choice of medication. “I wish we’d used Depakene sooner,” he
    said. “I wish I’d accepted that it would be easier for the family to comply
    with one medicine instead of three, even if three seemed medically
    optimal.”

    Then I asked, “Do you wish you had never met Lia?”
    “Oh, no, no, no!” His vehemence surprised me. “Once I might have

    said yes, but not in retrospect. Lia taught me that when there is a very
    dense cultural barrier, you do the best you can, and if something happens
    despite that, you have to be satisfied with little successes instead of total
    successes. You have to give up total control. That is very hard for me, but
    I do try. I think Lia made me into a less rigid person.”

    The next time I saw Foua, I asked her whether she had learned
    anything from what had happened. “No,” she said. “I haven’t learned. I
    just feel confused.” She was feeding Lia at the time, making baby noises
    as she spooned puréed zaub, the spinachlike green she grew in the parking
    lot, into the slack mouth. “I don’t understand how the doctors can say she
    is going to be like this for the rest of her life, and yet they can’t fix her.
    How can they know the future but not know how to change it? I don’t
    understand that.”

    “Well, what do you think Lia’s future will hold?” I asked.
    “I don’t know these things,” said Foua. “I am not a doctor. I am not a

    txiv neeb. But maybe Lia will stay hurt like this, and that makes me cry
    about what will happen. I gave birth to Lia, so I will always take care of
    her with all my heart. But when her father and I pass away, who will take

    care of Lia? Lia’s sisters do love her, but even though they love her,
    maybe they will not be able to take care of her. Maybe they will need to
    study too hard and work too hard. I am crying to think that they are just
    going to give Lia away to the Americans.” Foua wept soundlessly. May
    Ying embraced her and stroked her hair.

    “I know where the Americans put children like Lia,” she continued. “I
    saw a place like that in Fresno where they took Lia once, a long time
    ago.” (Foua was recalling a chronic care facility for retarded and disabled
    children where Lia had been temporarily placed, before her year in foster
    care, while her medications were monitored and stabilized.) “It was like a
    house for the dead. The children were so poor and so sad that they just
    cried. They cried all over. One child had a big head and a really small
    body. Other children had legs that were all dried up and they just fell on
    the floor. I have seen this. If the Americans take Lia there she will want
    to die, but instead she will suffer.”

    Foua brushed her tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, in a
    quick, brusque gesture. Then she wiped Lia’s mouth, far more gently, and
    slowly started to rock her. “I am very sad,” she said, “and I think a lot
    that if we were still in Laos and not in the United States, maybe Lia
    would never be like this. The doctors are very very knowledgeable, your
    high doctors, your best doctors, but maybe they made a mistake by giving
    her the wrong medicine and they made her hurt like this. If it was a dab
    that made Lia sick like this in Laos, we would know how to go to the
    forest and get herbs to fix her and maybe she could be able to speak. But
    this happened here in the United States, and Americans have done this to
    her, and our medicine cannot fix that.”

    It was also true that if the Lees were still in Laos, Lia would probably
    have died before she was out of her infancy, from a prolonged bout of
    untreated status epilepticus. American medicine had both preserved her
    life and compromised it. I was unsure which had hurt her family more.

    Since that night with Foua, I have replayed the story over and over again,
    wondering if anything could have made it turn out differently. Despite

    Dr. Hutchison’s revisionist emendation of the final chapter, no one could
    deny that if the Lees had given Lia her anticonvulsants from the
    beginning, she might have had—might still be having—something
    approaching a normal life. What was not clear was who, if anyone, should
    be held accountable. What if Neil had prescribed Depakene earlier? What
    if, instead of placing Lia in foster care, he had arranged for a visiting
    nurse to administer her medications? What if he had sought out Blia Yao
    Moua or Jonas Vangay or another Hmong leader who straddled both
    cultures, and had asked him to intervene with the Lees, thus transferring
    the issue of compliance to a less suspect source? What if MCMC had had
    better interpreters?

    When I presented my “what if” list to Dan Murphy one day in the
    MCMC cafeteria, he was less interested in the Depakene than in the
    interpreters. However, he believed that the gulf between the Lees and
    their doctors was unbridgeable, and that nothing could have been done to
    change the outcome. “Until I met Lia,” he said, “I thought if you had a
    problem you could always settle it if you just sat and talked long enough.
    But we could have talked to the Lees until we were blue in the face—we
    could have sent the Lees to medical school with the world’s greatest
    translator—and they would still think their way was right and ours was
    wrong.” Dan slowly stirred his lukewarm cocoa; he had been on all-night
    call. “Lia’s case ended my idealistic way of looking at the world.”

    Was the gulf unbridgeable? I kept returning, obsessively, to the Lees’
    earliest encounters with MCMC during Lia’s infancy, when no
    interpreters were present and her epilepsy was misdiagnosed as
    pneumonia. Instead of practicing “veterinary medicine,” what if the
    residents in the emergency room had managed to elicit the Lees’ trust at
    the outset—or at least managed not to crush it—by finding out what they
    believed, feared, and hoped? Jeanine Hilt had asked them for their
    version of the story, but no doctor ever had. Martin Kilgore had tried, but
    by then it was years too late.

    Of course, the Lees’ perspective might have been as unfathomable to
    the doctors as the doctors’ perspective was to the Lees. Hmong culture, as
    Blia Yao Moua observed to me, is not Cartesian. Nothing could be more

    Cartesian than Western medicine. Trying to understand Lia and her
    family by reading her medical chart (something I spent hundreds of hours
    doing) was like deconstructing a love sonnet by reducing it to a series of
    syllogisms. Yet to the residents and pediatricians who had cared for her
    since she was three months old, there was no guide to Lia’s world except
    her chart. As each of them struggled to make sense of a set of problems
    that were not expressible in the language they knew, the chart simply
    grew longer and longer, until it contained more than 400,000 words.
    Every one of those words reflected its author’s intelligence, training, and
    good intentions, but not a single one dealt with the Lees’ perception of
    their daughter’s illness. Almost every discussion of cross-cultural
    medicine that I had ever read quoted a set of eight questions, designed to
    elicit a patient’s “explanatory model,” which were developed by Arthur
    Kleinman, a psychiatrist and medical anthropologist who chairs the
    department of social medicine at Harvard Medical School. The first few
    times I read these questions they seemed so obvious I hardly noticed
    them; around the fiftieth time, I began to think that, like many obvious
    things, they might actually be a work of genius. I recently decided to call
    Kleinman to tell him how I thought the Lees might have answered his
    questions after Lia’s earliest seizures, before any medications had been
    administered, resisted, or blamed, if they had had a good interpreter and
    had felt sufficiently at ease to tell the truth. To wit:

    1. What do you call the problem?
    Qaug dab peg. That means the spirit catches you and you fall
    down.

    2. What do you think has caused the problem?
    Soul loss.

    3. Why do you think it started when it did?
    Lia’s sister Yer slammed the door and Lia’s soul was frightened
    out of her body.

    4. What do you think the sickness does? How does it work?
    It makes Lia shake and fall down. It works because a spirit called
    a dab is catching her.

    5. How severe is the sickness? Will it have a short or long course?
    Why are you asking us those questions? If you are a good doctor,
    you should know the answers yourself.

    6. What kind of treatment do you think the patient should receive?
    What are the most important results you hope she receives from
    this treatment?
    You should give Lia medicine to take for a week but no longer.
    After she is well, she should stop taking the medicine. You should
    not treat her by taking her blood or the fluid from her backbone.
    Lia should also be treated at home with our Hmong medicines and
    by sacrificing pigs and chickens. We hope Lia will be healthy, but
    we are not sure we want her to stop shaking forever because it
    makes her noble in our culture, and when she grows up she might
    become a shaman.

    7. What are the chief problems the sickness has caused?
    It has made us sad to see Lia hurt, and it has made us angry at Yer.

    8. What do you fear most about the sickness?
    That Lia’s soul will never return.

    I thought Kleinman would consider these responses so bizarre that he
    would be at a loss for words. (When I had presented this same material,
    more or less, to Neil and Peggy, they had said, “Mr. and Mrs. Lee thought
    what?”) But after each answer, he said, with great enthusiasm, “Right!”
    Nothing surprised him; everything delighted him. From his vantage point,
    a physician could encounter no more captivating a patient than Lia, no
    finer a set of parents than the Lees.

    Then I told him what had happened later—the Lees’ noncompliance
    with Lia’s anticonvulsant regimen, the foster home, the neurological

    catastrophe—and asked him if he had any retroactive suggestions for her
    pediatricians.

    “I have three,” he said briskly. “First, get rid of the term
    ‘compliance.’ It’s a lousy term. It implies moral hegemony. You don’t
    want a command from a general, you want a colloquy. Second, instead of
    looking at a model of coercion, look at a model of mediation. Go find a
    member of the Hmong community, or go find a medical anthropologist,
    who can help you negotiate. Remember that a stance of mediation, like a
    divorce proceeding, requires compromise on both sides. Decide what’s
    critical and be willing to compromise on everything else. Third, you need
    to understand that as powerful an influence as the culture of the Hmong
    patient and her family is on this case, the culture of biomedicine is
    equally powerful. If you can’t see that your own culture has its own set of
    interests, emotions, and biases, how can you expect to deal successfully
    with someone else’s culture?”

    18

    The Life or the Soul

    I do not know if Lia would be able to walk and talk today had she been
    treated by Arthur Kleinman instead of by Neil Ernst and Peggy Philp.
    However, I have come to believe that her life was ruined not by septic
    shock or noncompliant parents but by cross-cultural misunderstanding.

    Lia’s case—or “narrative,” as Kleinman would put it, since he
    believes every illness is not a set of pathologies but a personal story—
    was one of perhaps a hundred Hmong medical cases I heard about over
    the years. Most turned out badly. The sample is probably skewed, since
    doctors and patients remember calamities—their own and others’—more
    vividly than they remember successes. Still, the imbalance is disquieting.

    A child in San Diego was born with a harelip. Her doctors asked the
    parents’ permission to repair it surgically. They cited the ease of the
    operation, the social ostracism to which the child would otherwise be
    condemned. Instead, the parents fled the hospital with their baby. Several
    years earlier, while the family was escaping from Laos to Thailand, the
    father had killed a bird with a stone, but he had not done so cleanly, and
    the bird had suffered. The spirit of that bird had caused the harelip. To
    refuse to accept the punishment would be a grave insult.

    A child in Michigan had a retinoblastoma, a malignant tumor of the
    eye. His doctors asked the parents’ permission to remove his eye in order
    to prevent metastasis. His parents fled the state, certain that if their son
    had the surgery he would be reincarnated, over and over again, with an
    incomplete body.

    A child in Minnesota had a spinal deformity. His doctors asked his
    parents for permission to perform corrective surgery. After his birth in a

    Thai refugee camp, a txiv neeb had told the parents that the boy was
    destined for greatness as a Hmong leader. The txiv neeb had also warned
    that if the boy’s body were ever altered, his parents would die. A few
    days after his parents reluctantly acceded to the operation, but before it
    was performed, his father died. His mother fled the state with her son.

    A woman in Merced, who had delivered five children without
    complications, arrived at the hospital in the final stage of labor with her
    sixth child. Observing that the umbilical cord had prolapsed—a
    potentially fatal problem if the cord is compressed by the baby’s head—
    the nurses attempted to relieve pressure on the cord by forcing the woman
    to crouch on her hands and knees and pushing the head back inside the
    birth canal, while screaming at the husband to sign a consent form for a
    cesarean section. He did so, under duress, but while his wife was being
    prepared for the surgery, the baby was born vaginally. No interpreter was
    present. The parents believed that the nurses wished to harm the baby
    because they thought Hmong refugees had too many children, and that the
    doctor wished to perform surgery in order to make a larger profit.
    Accordingly, the mother decided to give birth to all her future children at
    home.

    There were, of course, some good outcomes, mostly not in pediatric
    cases. Here are three.

    A young combat veteran who had just arrived in the United States
    attempted to hang himself in the shower room of the California transit
    facility in which he had been temporarily placed. During the next several
    days, he was isolated in a hospital room, offered American food, and
    forced to submit to a comprehensive medical workup, including blood
    tests. He neither ate nor slept. Finally, his doctors discontinued the blood
    work. They gave him Hmong food, and he ate. They let a Hmong man
    stay with him overnight, and he slept. Learning that he had feared he
    would be unable to feed his children, they explained the mechanics of
    Refugee Cash Assistance and showed him photographs of his future
    home. He and his family resettled successfully in Iowa.

    A middle-aged man in Merced, hospitalized for an infection, was
    asked by an interpreter who was filling out a routine nursing admission

    form whether he wished, in case of death, to donate his organs. The man,
    believing that his doctors planned to let him die and take his heart,
    became highly agitated and announced that he was leaving the hospital
    immediately. The interpreter managed to calm him and assured him that
    the doctors’ intentions were honorable. The man stayed until his recovery
    a few days later, and a sympathetic hospital administrator, anticipating
    similar misunderstandings with other Hmong patients, fought
    successfully to have the organ donor box removed from the admission
    form.

    A hospital social worker in San Francisco, accompanied by an
    interpreter, was sent by the public health department to visit a woman
    with tuberculosis who had refused to take her isoniazid tablets. The social
    worker, whose name was Francesca Farr, began to talk to the patient, who
    was in her eighth month of pregnancy. “No, no,” said the interpreter.
    “You should talk to her husband.” So Farr asked the husband why he
    didn’t want his wife to take the medicine. “No, no,” said the interpreter.
    “Don’t ask him that yet. First, you should wish him some things.” Farr
    told the husband she wished that his children would never be sick, that
    their rice bowls would never be empty, that his family would always stay
    together, and that his people would never be in another war. As she spoke,
    the husband’s hands, which had been clenched, relaxed. “Now,” said the
    interpreter, “you can ask him why his wife isn’t taking the medicine.”
    Farr did. The husband answered that if she took the medicine, their baby
    would be born without arms or legs. Farr touched the patient’s abdomen,
    and told the husband that if the baby didn’t already have arms and legs,
    the woman wouldn’t be so big, and the baby wouldn’t be kicking. The
    husband nodded, walked into the other room, returned with a giant bottle,
    dumped the contents into Farr’s hands, and said that his wife would take
    the pills.

    This last case warrants particular scrutiny, because Francesca Farr did
    a number of things that generally weren’t done at MCMC, and certainly
    weren’t done with Lia. She made a house call. She took along a capable
    and assertive interpreter whom she treated as a cultural broker (by
    definition her equal, and in this case her superior), not a translator (her

    inferior). She worked within the family’s belief system. She did not carry
    her belief system—which included a feminist distaste for being forced to
    deal with the husband instead of the wife—into the negotiations. She
    never threatened, criticized, or patronized. She said hardly anything about
    Western medicine. She flew completely by the seat of her pants.

    Also, Francesca Farr liked the Hmong. Loved them, I should say. That
    was something she had in common with everyone I knew who had ever
    worked successfully with Hmong patients, clients, or research subjects.
    Dan Murphy once said that of the ten most admirable people he had met
    in the last decade, seven or eight were Hmong. Jeanine Hilt told me that
    if her house caught on fire, the first thing she would grab was a framed
    paj ntaub that Foua had stitched for her. (It still hangs in a position of
    honor over her partner’s dining table.) Sukey Waller said that after she
    spent time with her Hmong clients, Americans, by comparison, seemed
    dry. The anthropologists Eric Crystal and Dwight Conquergood were so
    intoxicated by Hmong culture that their ethnographic commentaries,
    while academically unimpeachable, sometimes sounded like mash notes.

    Neil and Peggy liked the Hmong, too, but they did not love them.
    They could have had a practice full of white middle-class patients who
    always took their medicine and whose insurance companies always paid
    on time. Instead, because they were altruists, they had the antithesis.
    Their choice was morally satisfying, but whenever a patient crossed the
    compliance line, thus sabotaging their ability to be optimally effective
    doctors, cultural diversity ceased being a delicious spice and became a
    disagreeable obstacle. Neil and Peggy were excellent physicians, but by
    Kleinman’s definition—a concern for the psychosocial and cultural facets
    that give illness context and meaning—they were, at least during their
    early years with Lia, imperfect healers.

    But love, unlike the etiology and diagnosis of pediatric seizures,
    cannot be taught. It can only be granted. (I believe that Neil and Peggy
    now love Foua.) In its absence, is there anything else that doctors can do
    to take better care of their Hmong patients?

    Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout, the Hmong medical administrator who
    wrote about mental health problems as traditional ailments of the liver,

    has some suggestions. Not surprisingly, almost all of them are cultural,
    not medical. To improve Hmong health care in general, arrange for
    female doctors to treat female patients, and male doctors to treat male
    patients. Involve the patients’ families in all decisions. Use interpreters
    who are both bilingual and bicultural.* To persuade Hmong people to
    undergo necessary surgery, and to improve the outcomes if they consent,
    enlist the support of family and community leaders. Minimize blood-
    drawing. Allow relatives or friends in the hospital room around the clock.
    Allow shamanic ceremonies in the hospital. To improve mental health,
    encourage traditional arts such as weaving, music, dance, and
    silversmithing. Acknowledge Hmong contributions to U.S. military
    operations in Laos. Promote clan reunification through secondary
    resettlement. Be careful not to undercut the father’s authority in Hmong
    families. Give refugees more opportunities to help themselves. Fuss over
    them less.

    Most important, says Bliatout (and many others as well), practice
    conjoint treatment—that is, integrate Western allopathic medicine with
    traditional healing arts, or, as Nao Kao Lee put it, use “a little medicine
    and a little neeb.” Kleinman, who has commented that the doctor cures
    the disease but the indigenous healer heals the illness, believes that
    conjoint treatment does more than promote trust between the doctor and
    the patient; because illness is so profoundly affected by psychosocial
    factors, it actually improves the outcome. Although the Lees did treat Lia
    with herbs, dermal therapies, and animal sacrifices, their regimen ran
    parallel to Lia’s medical course rather than intertwining with it. Neil and
    Peggy were dimly aware of some of these remedies (for example, when
    Lia had marks on her chest from coin rubbing), but they never asked
    about them, and they certainly never recommended them. It would never
    have occurred to them to emulate Luis Estevez, a pediatrician at Lincoln
    Hospital in the Bronx, who has referred Puerto Rican and Dominican
    patients to a Santería high priest as he might refer them to an
    ophthalmologist, or Yasmin Collazo, a psychiatrist at Elmhurst Hospital
    Center in Queens, who has allowed a Mexican curandero, or folk healer,
    to perform a cleansing ceremony in the hospital for a schizophrenic

    patient. Dr. Collazo said that after the visit, the patient was far more
    compliant in taking her antipsychotic medications, which she believed
    the curandero had sanctified.

    Bliatout wrote, “Since Hmong health treatments never hurt anyone,
    but could possibly help a patient, [they] should be seriously considered as
    part of a client’s course of treatment.” Unfortunately, his first premise is
    not always true. Some Hmong folk remedies contain arsenic, lead, and
    opium. However, intervention by a txiv neeb, whose work is conducted
    entirely on a metaphysical plane, is always safe, and many people
    (including Bliatout, Sukey Waller, Dwight Conquergood, and the French
    anthropologist Jacques Lemoine) believe that because the mind-body
    dichotomy does not exist in Hmong culture and because so much illness
    among Hmong refugees has a psychogenic element, the txiv neeb is an
    ideal collaborator in the healing process. Indeed, according to
    Conquergood, no one is better qualified to span the gap between the
    medical and the spiritual:

    Shamans are, first and last, quintessential mediators. They are
    threshold crossers, endowed creatures who can go between the
    earth and the sky. Grand articulators, shamans’ special gift and
    mission is to bring opposites together—to bring the physical and
    moral worlds into meaningful conjunction. That is why they are
    identified with archetypal connectors such as images of ladders,
    bridges, ropes, and cosmic trees that sink roots into the earth
    while branching towards the sky….

    It is the special responsibility of the shaman to celebrate and
    actualize the coincidences between these two kingdoms and to
    amplify their resonances, one into another. Perhaps that is why
    shamans do not resist prescription medicine and physical
    treatments. These forms of medicine do not directly compete with
    the shamans’ manipulation of symbols and management of belief.
    Indeed, I saw bottles of prescription medicine resting without
    contradiction on shamans’ altars inside thatched huts in Camp
    Ban Vinai….

    They see the two modes of healing, natural and supernatural,
    as complementary rather than contradictory.

    Conquergood should know, having been a txiv neeb’s patient himself
    when he had dengue fever. He has described his soul-calling ceremony,
    which was attended by most of his friends at Ban Vinai—and which he
    claims was truly restorative—as a festive and affectionate drama that was
    “saturated with care and humankindness.”

    Lemoine has commented that a txiv neeb is far more like a
    psychiatrist than like a priest. However, there is a crucial distinction:

    Comparing his work to psychiatric procedure, I noticed that while
    the analyst tries to provoke self-analysis by scratching the
    wounded part of the self, a Hmong shaman will provide an
    explanation which avoids all self-involvement of the patient. [The
    patient] is always represented as a victim of an assault from
    outside powers or of an accidental separation from one part of his
    self. When this situation has been identified and overcome by the
    shaman, health is recovered. At no point has there been a feeling
    of guilt associated with suffering.

    When I read this, I thought of how often the Hmong react to threat or
    blame by fighting or fleeing, which in the medical arena translate to
    various forms of noncompliance. The txiv neeb’s exclusion of guilt from
    the transaction dovetails perfectly with the Hmong temperament. The
    doctor’s standard message (“If you don’t take these pills/have this
    operation/see me again next Tuesday, you’ll be sorry!”) does not.*

    During the mid-eighties, the Nationalities Service of Central
    California in Fresno received a short-term federal grant of $100,965 to
    establish what it termed “an integrated mental health delivery service
    utilizing Hmong healers and western mental health providers.” Eight txiv
    neebs were hired as consultants. They treated 250 patients, most of whom
    had complaints that transcended the usual boundaries of “mental health.”
    The resulting project report, which contains descriptions of eighteen

    healing ceremonies, including Ceremony to Dispel Ogre Spirits,
    Ceremony to Separate This World from That of the Afterlife, and
    Ceremony to Appease the Spirit Above the Big Stove, is one of the most
    amazing documents ever financed by American taxpayers. “Sometimes
    the ceremony by itself was enough,” it concluded. “In other cases, once
    such a ceremony was performed the client was more amenable to
    recommended medical procedures, such as surgery or medication,
    administered by licensed health care providers.” Here are the report’s
    summaries of two cases that had different, though equally positive,
    resolutions:

    Case No. 3

    Complaint/Symptomatology—Gall Bladder Problem (mob tsib):
    The client suffered from a sharp pain on the right side of the chest
    extending to the back. He reported inability to engage in any
    activity other than passive relaxation.

    Assessment: A licensed physician diagnosed the condition as a
    gall bladder problem requiring surgery for correction. The Neng
    [txiv neeb] was consulted following this diagnosis.

    Treatment Plan: The Neng performed a ceremony during which
    healing powers [were] bestowed on water which was then used to
    wash the painful area in order to release the pain. However, the
    pain persisted and the client accepted that it was not a spiritual
    problem. He then returned to the physician and consented to
    surgery.

    Result: The surgery was successful and the client reported that his
    illness was cured.

    Case No. 9

    Complaint/Symptomatology: The client’s penis had been swollen

    for about a month. He reported that he’d been treated by licensed
    physicians, but that the treatment had only given intermittent
    relief from pain and swelling.

    Assessment: The Neng determined that the client had offended the
    stream spirits.

    Treatment Plan: The Neng called upon the Neng spirits to effect a
    cure and release the pain. The Neng used a bowl of water to spray
    from the mouth over the infected area. The offended spirits were
    offered payment of five sticks of incense to release the pain and
    relieve the swelling.

    Result: The client got better after the ceremony.

    After fourteen months, the grant for the program expired, and, as far
    as I know, that was the first and last penile exorcism to be sponsored by
    the Department of Health and Human Services. However, in many less
    recondite ways, the medical establishment appears to be waking up to the
    fact that since 1990, more than half the population growth in the United
    States has come from immigrants and their children—and that many of
    these immigrants, even if they can get to the hospital and pay for their
    treatment, may find mainstream health care culturally inaccessible. The
    1992 edition of the Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy, the world’s
    most widely used medical text, included, for the first time, a chapter
    called “Cross-Cultural Issues in Medicine.” The chapter was allotted only
    three pages out of 2,844, and it was not cross-referenced in the chapter on
    “Patient Compliance,” or indeed in any other chapter. However, merely
    printing such phrases as “spirit attack,” “trance state,” and “cultural
    relativism” granted them an ex cathedra legitimacy. Where Merck went,
    others could follow without fear of sounding like cranks.

    Ten years ago, hardly any medical-school or residency curricula
    included cross-cultural training. In 1995, for the first time, the national
    guidelines for training psychiatry residents stipulated that they learn to

    assess cultural influences on their patients’ problems. In 1996, the
    American Academy of Family Physicians endorsed a set of
    “Recommended Core Curriculum Guidelines on Culturally Sensitive and
    Competent Health Care.” Among the resources suggested by the
    guidelines’ authors was BaFá BaFá, a simulation game in which the
    participants are divided into two mythical cultures, each assigned a
    different set of manners, conventions, and taboos. Each group inevitably
    misperceives the other by applying its own cultural standards; each
    inevitably offends the other; and each, until the groups meet at the end of
    the game to discuss the pitfalls of ethnocentrism, is inevitably certain
    that its culture is superior.

    Today most medical students at least brush shoulders with cross-
    cultural issues, and some form more than a glancing acquaintance. The
    University of Wisconsin recently developed an “integrated multicultural
    curriculum” that includes panel and group discussions, case conferences,
    student interviews, role-playing exercises, and home visits. At Harvard,
    all first-year students are required to take a course called “Patient-Doctor
    I” (significantly, not “Doctor-Patient I”), in which they learn to work
    with interpreters, study Kleinman’s eight questions, and ponder such
    conundrums as “Can an American pediatrician truly explain a surgical
    consent form to newly arrived parents of a Southeast Asian baby?” and
    “Is it ethical to use psychotherapy when therapist and patient are
    ethnically unmatched?” Some residency programs are evolving along the
    same lines. At San Francisco General Hospital, all family practice
    residents are required to do a rotation at the Refugee Clinic, in which,
    since 1979, more than 20,000 refugees, speaking dozens of languages,
    have received health screenings. (Francesca Farr, who persuaded the
    Hmong man to let his wife take her isoniazid, was a social worker at the
    Refugee Clinic.) In addition to briefings on hepatitis B, thalassemia, and
    intestinal parasites, the residents’ orientation manual includes an article
    on assessing symptoms in Southeast Asian survivors of mass violence
    and torture; a set of guidelines for working with interpreters; and an
    eight-page chart that compares the social and cultural customs of the
    Vietnamese, Cambodians, Lao, and Hmong.

    Highmindedness in the big leagues is all very well. But how much of
    this kind of thing was likely to trickle down to a place like Merced? As it
    turns out, a lot more than I expected. In 1996, the Merced County Health
    Department invited a Seattle-based cross-cultural education program
    called “Bridging the Gap” to train its nursing, administrative, and
    interpreting staffs in advocacy skills and “cultural competence.” The
    health department now produces a segment for the local Hmong cable
    channel that features a tour of MCMC and answers, in Hmong, some
    commonly asked questions, including “Why are doctors so rude?” At
    MCMC, a fifty-five-year-old Hmong man nearly died recently from a
    perforated bowel after his family took three days to consent to surgery.
    Because he stayed in the hospital for more than two months, and every
    resident either cared for him or debated his case in the corridors, he
    galvanized interest in such questions as: Could txiv neebs be certified,
    like clergy, to visit MCMC patients? * Could Hmong serve as cultural
    brokers?† If MCMC employed certified interpreters instead of lab
    assistants and nurse’s aides who translated on the side—a plan that had
    previously been dismissed as too expensive—would hospital stays be
    shortened and costs thereby reduced? (This last question was particularly
    germane, since managed care had drastically eroded MCMC’s referrals
    and hospitalizations, and the county was so nervous about the resulting
    deficit that it was planning to lease the hospital to a large health-care
    corporation.)

    But change comes hard, especially in the trenches. It is one thing to
    read in medical school that the ideal doctor-patient-interpreter “seating
    configuration” is a right triangle, with the patient and interpreter forming
    the hypotenuse, and another to recollect the diagram in a roomful of
    gesticulating Hmong toward the end of a twenty-four-hour shift. When I
    heard of Merced’s latest cross-cultural efforts, I remembered an elderly
    Hmong woman with stomach cancer whom I had once met at MCMC.
    Her family, unable to understand either the resident’s English or his
    drawings of the digestive system, had refused to consent to surgery. I had
    expected the resident to move heaven and earth to bring in a decent
    interpreter. Instead, I found him in the Preceptor Library, his head bowed

    over four articles on poorly differentiated gastric adenocarcinoma. I also
    remembered a Morbidity and Mortality Conference during which Dan
    Murphy presented the case of a middle-aged Hmong woman rendered
    comatose by a stroke. Her family had staged an insurrection at her
    bedside, demanding that her intravenous and nasogastric tubes be
    removed and that a txiv neeb be permitted in the Intensive Care Unit.
    (MCMC had acceded, and she had died.) Every time Dan tried to steer the
    discussion toward cultural issues, the residents yanked it back to a debate
    on the relative merits of labetalol and hydralazine as antihypertensives.

    This is the kind of thinking that has begotten the cartoon-version
    M.D., the all-head-no-heart formalist who, when presented with a
    problem, would rather medicate it, scan it, suture it, splint it, excise it,
    anesthetize it, or autopsy it than communicate with it. Fortunately, most
    real-life doctors, including MCMC’s, are not automatons. However, they
    often seem myopically overreliant on what Kleinman calls “the culture of
    biomedicine” (which, when he says it, sounds every bit as exotic as the
    culture of the Ainu or the Waiwai). Their investment in this culture does
    not make them resist change on general principle; quite the contrary.
    They eagerly embrace new drugs, technologies, and procedures as soon as
    clinical trials prove their effectiveness. Yet they may not feel the same
    way about Kleinman’s eight questions (“But diseases aren’t caused by
    spirits. Why should I indulge delusions?”) or his proposition that
    ethnographic methods should be part of every doctor’s job description
    (“But I’m not an anthropologist, I’m a gastroenterologist!”). The same
    doctors who listen to Continuing Medical Education audiocassettes on
    their car stereos, intent on keeping up with every innovation that might
    improve their outcome statistics, may regard cross-cultural medicine as a
    form of political bamboozlement, an assault on their rationality rather
    than a potentially lifesaving therapy.

    On the wall above my desk, flanked by pictures of Lia and her family,
    are two Xeroxed passages that, in a jaundiced mood, I once captioned THE
    HMONG WAY and THE AMERICAN WAY. THE HMONG WAY is the page from the Fresno
    mental health report that summarized the txiv neeb’s successful treatment
    of his patient’s swollen penis. THE AMERICAN WAY is a page from the Journal

    of the American Medical Association. It was excerpted from an article
    called “Doctors Have Feelings Too.” Its author, a Harvard Medical
    School instructor named William M. Zinn, posited that because doctors
    may be busy “doing multiple other tasks,” “maintaining a clinical
    distance,” or harboring guilt about negative reactions to their patients,
    they run the risk of overlooking their feelings. So, if you’re a doctor, how
    can you recognize that you’re having a feeling? Some tips from Dr. Zinn:

    Most emotions have physical counterparts. Anxiety may be
    associated with a tightness of the abdomen or excessive
    diaphoresis; anger may be manifested by a generalized muscle
    tightness or a clenching of the jaw; sexual arousal may be noted
    by a tingling of the loins or piloerection; and sadness may be felt
    by conjunctival injection or a heaviness of the chest.

    I first read this article at Bill Selvidge’s house. Every night, while I
    waited for Bill to come home from MCMC, I alternated between his old
    anthropology texts and his piles of medical journals, and pondered which
    was the more arcane. I remember sitting on the dilapidated sofa, thinking
    that if any of my Hmong friends heard that American doctors had to read
    an article in order to learn how to tell if they were angry, they would
    never, ever return to MCMC. In lurched Bill, nearly ataxic from fatigue
    after a thirty-three-hour shift. I read him the paragraph that is now on my
    wall. We both laughed so loud we probably woke his fundamentalist
    neighbors, the ones who had smashed their TV set and danced a jig
    around it.

    Bill assured me that he was so remarkably in touch with his feelings
    that he could tell if he was anxious or sad without benefit of diaphoresis
    or conjunctival injection. I believed him. Bill was a G.P. of the old
    school, the sort of doctor who relieved his stress by going to MCMC’s
    newborn nursery, selecting a crying baby, and walking back and forth
    with it until it quieted down. Yet I feared that Dr. Zinn had a point.
    Medicine, as it is taught in the United States, does an excellent job of
    separating students from their emotions. The desensitization starts on the

    very first day of medical school, when each student is given a scalpel
    with which to penetrate his or her cadaver: “the ideal patient,” as it is
    nicknamed, since it can’t be killed, never complains, and never sues. The
    first cut is always difficult. Three months later, the students are chucking
    pieces of excised human fat into a garbage can as nonchalantly as if they
    were steak trimmings. The emotional skin-thickening is necessary—or so
    goes the conventional wisdom—because without it, doctors would be
    overwhelmed by their chronic exposure to suffering and despair.
    Dissociation is part of the job. That is why doctors do not treat their own
    relatives (feelings would handicap their effectiveness); why, beyond
    routine issues of sterility, the heads of open-heart patients are screened
    from the surgeon’s view (individuality would be a distraction); and why
    Neil Ernst avoided Lia Lee after she returned from Fresno with
    irreparable brain damage (he couldn’t bear it).

    At Stanford Medical School, in an admirable attempt to fight this
    trend, students are informed during the first semester that their empathy
    may already have peaked; if they succumb to the norm, it will plunge
    steadily during their four years of medical school and their first year of
    residency. “What changes?” an appalled student once asked. His
    professor answered, “As you get more skilled, you belittle what you had
    before you started.”

    Stanford, like several other medical schools, is trying to bring back
    what has been called the “whole doctor-whole patient” model, in which
    the doctor brings his or her full humanity (not just the part that aced the
    MCATs) to the hospital, and the patient is viewed as a complete person
    (not just the appendix in Room 416). This model is nothing new; in fact,
    it is what all doctors used to be taught. As William Osier once said—or is
    said to have said—“Ask not what disease the person has, but rather what
    person the disease has.” Between 1992 and 1995, the percentage of
    medical-school seniors who chose to become generalists—internists,
    general pediatricians, and family physicians—nearly doubled: a trend
    that may help bring Osier’s charge back into circulation. Some of these
    choices have been influenced by economic factors (managed care plans
    prefer primary to sub-specialized care because it’s cheaper), but others

    are surely idealistic. If there were more Osler-type generalists around, the
    Hmong, among others, would stand to benefit. The anthropologist
    Elizabeth Kirton has commented that a Hmong patient she knew, referred
    to a specialist for further treatment, did not ask the referring physician to
    find someone skilled or famous. He asked, “Do you know someone who
    would care for me and love me?”

    It was probably unfair of me to caption Dr. Zinn’s article THE AMERICAN
    WAY. Once, several years ago, when I romanticized the Hmong more
    (though admired them less) than I do now, I had a conversation with a
    Minnesota epidemiologist at a health care conference. Knowing she had
    worked with the Hmong, I started to lament the insensitivity of Western
    medicine. The epidemiologist looked at me sharply. “Western medicine
    saves lives,” she said. Oh. Right. I had to keep reminding myself of that.
    It was all that cold, linear, Cartesian, non-Hmong-like thinking which
    saved my father from colon cancer, saved my husband and me from
    infertility, and, if she had swallowed her anticonvulsants from the start,
    might have saved Lia from brain damage. Dwight Conquergood’s
    philosophy of health care as a form of barter, rather than a one-sided
    relationship, ignores the fact that, for better or for worse, Western
    medicine is one-sided. Doctors endure medical school and residency in
    order to acquire knowledge that their patients do not have. Until the
    culture of medicine changes, it would be asking a lot of them to consider,
    much less adopt, the notion that, as Francesca Farr put it, “our view of
    reality is only a view, not reality itself.” However, I don’t think it would
    be too much to ask them to acknowledge their patients’ realities—to
    avoid the kind of blind spot that made a Merced health department
    employee once write, about a child from a family that views the entire
    universe as sacred:

    Name: LEE, LIA
    Principal Language: HMONG
    Ethnic Group: HMONG
    Religion: NONE

    Dwight Conquergood’s txiv neeb may have had no trouble crossing the
    threshold between earth and sky, natural and supernatural, medical and
    spiritual. Regular mortals find the transit difficult. How difficult was
    borne out to me the night I invited Bill Selvidge and Sukey Waller to
    dinner at the Red Snapper Seafood Grotto. (Since my experience with
    Jonas Vangay, I was steering clear of the Cask ’n Cleaver.) Although they
    knew each other by reputation, Bill and Sukey had never met. I thought
    that because they were both Peace Corps veterans, and because they both
    worked with the Hmong—Bill as a doctor, Sukey as a psychotherapist—
    they would have much in common.

    Over our fish, we discussed Hmong shamanism, about which Sukey
    knew a great deal. She volunteered that she had once told a doctor at
    MCMC that a txiv neeb of her acquaintance had a direct line to God. The
    doctor had responded, “Well, I have a direct line to biochemistry.”
    Although it was clear where Sukey’s sympathies lay, Bill did not appear
    offended.

    By dessert, we had moved on to Lia’s case in particular, and cross-
    cultural pediatrics in general.

    “You have to act on behalf of the most vulnerable person in the
    situation,” said Bill, “and that’s the child. The child’s welfare is more
    important than the parents’ beliefs. You have to do what’s best for the
    child, even if the parents oppose it, because if the child dies, she won’t
    get the chance to decide twenty years down the road if she wants to
    accept her parents’ beliefs or if she wants to reject them. She’s going to
    be dead.”

    “Well,” said Sukey tartly, “that’s the job you have taken on in your
    profession.”

    “I’d feel the same way if I weren’t a doctor,” said Bill. “I would feel I
    am my brother’s keeper.”

    “That’s tyranny,” said Sukey. “What if you have a family who rejects
    surgery because they believe an illness has a spiritual cause? What if they
    see a definite possibility of eternal damnation for their child if she dies
    from the surgery? Next to that, death might not seem so important.
    Which is more important, the life or the soul?”

    “I make no apology,” said Bill. “The life comes first.”
    “The soul,” said Sukey.

    19

    The Sacrifice

    Long before Shee Yee turned into a tiny red ant and bit the evil dab on
    the testicle, he spent three years apprenticed to a sorcerer. He learned
    how to change himself into anything he wished, to kill dabs, to fly like
    the wind, to heal the sick, and to raise the dead. Shee Yee’s services as a
    healer were sorely needed, because there was much illness in the world.

    This is how the illness had come. The wife of a wicked god named
    Nyong laid an egg as large as a pig house. For three years, the egg did not
    hatch. Nyong’s father chanted to the egg and, in response, heard the
    jabbering voices of many evil dabs inside it. He ordered Nyong to burn
    the egg, but Nyong refused. So the egg burst, and out swarmed the dabs.
    The first thing they did was to eat Nyong’s wife, down to the last bone,
    hair, and eyelash. Then, still hungry, they came after Nyong. Nyong
    opened the door that led from the sky, where he lived, to the earth.
    Through it flew the dabs, as big as water buffalos and as red as fire, with
    showers of sparks in their wake. Nyong was safe, but from that day on,
    the people of the earth have known illness and death.

    Shee Yee spent many years fighting the dabs and restoring sick
    people to health. He was assisted by a winged horse, a bowl of holy water,
    a set of magical healing tools, and a troupe of familiar spirits. One day
    Nyong murdered Shee Yee’s infant son and tricked Shee Yee into eating
    the flesh. When Shee Yee realized what he had done, he was so stricken
    with grief and horror that he fled the earth and climbed the staircase up
    through the door in the sky. To avenge his son’s death, he pierced both of
    Nyong’s eyes. Nyong, blind and enraged, now lives at the foot of a
    mountain in the sky, and Shee Yee lives in a cave at its summit,

    surrounded by his familiar spirits.
    Shee Yee never returned to earth, but he did not leave its people

    entirely at the mercy of illness and death. After he climbed the staircase
    through the sky, he poured the bowl of holy water into his mouth, and
    then he spat it, with great force, on his healing tools: a saber, a gong, a
    rattle, and a pair of finger bells. The tools broke into pieces and fell to
    earth. Anyone who was sprayed with holy water, or who caught a
    fragment of one of Shee Yee’s tools, was elected to be a txiv neeb, a host
    for a healing spirit. The door in the sky is now closed to everyone but txiv
    neebs. When they pursue the lost soul of a sick person, they summon
    Shee Yee’s familiar spirits and ride Shee Yee’s flying horse up the
    staircase through the sky. In order to deceive any evil dabs they may
    meet en route, they pretend they are Shee Yee, and thus they partake of
    the first healer’s cunning, courage, and greatness.

    The txiv neeb who was to perform a healing ceremony for Lia brought his
    own tools: saber, gong, rattle, finger bells. He also brought his own flying
    horse. The horse was a board about ten feet long and ten inches wide
    which, when attached to a pair of sawhorselike supports that fitted into
    four slots, became a bench. To the people who filled the Lees’ living
    room, the bench was not a piece of furniture. Nor was it a metaphor. It
    was truly a flying horse, just as to a devout Roman Catholic, the bread
    and the wine are not a symbol of Christ’s body and blood but the real
    thing.

    The Lees had risen well before dawn. Foua told me, “We must have
    the neeb ceremony early in the morning, when it is cool, because that is
    when the soul can come back better. Also, if it is hot, the pig will get
    tired and die.” (I thought: But the pig is going to get killed anyway! Then
    I realized that a dead pig cannot be sacrificed.) The sun was rising when I
    arrived, sending pale shafts of light through the door that opened onto
    East 12th Street. Two translucent plastic painter’s tarps had been laid
    over the threadbare brown wall-to-wall carpet to protect it from the blood
    of the pig—or rather, pigs, since a small pig was to be sacrificed for the

    whole family and a large pig was to be sacrificed for Lia. The Lees had
    bought them the previous day at a local farm, paying $225, which came
    partly from welfare savings and partly from relatives’ contributions, for
    the pair.

    On the electric stove, three large aluminum pots, filled with water
    that would be used to singe the pigs’ bristles, had been set to boil. Bags of
    fresh vegetables and herbs, grown by the Lees and their relatives, rested
    next to the mortar and pestle Foua had brought from Laos. They would be
    used in the preparation of the traditional festal dishes: minced pork and
    vegetables rolled in rice wrappers; pig bones and meat boiled with
    homegrown greens; chopped intestines, liver, heart, and lungs (the dish
    May Ying called “doo-doo soup”); raw jellied pig’s blood; stewed
    chicken; two kinds of pepper sauce; and steamed rice. A Hmong proverb
    says, “With friends, flavorless vegetables are as tasty as meat, and water
    is as good as wine.” However, the combination of friends and good food
    is better still. The feast, which was to follow the neeb ceremony, would
    continue far into the night.

    Early this morning, Nao Kao had used a special paper punch to cut a
    stack of spirit-money, which would pay the pig for its soul and settle
    other spiritual accounts. The spirit-money, thick and cream-colored and
    pinked into scallops, lay on the carpet next to the txiv neeb’s altar, which
    represented the cave of Shee Yee. In Laos, the altar would have been
    made from one of a pair of identical trees; one would have been left
    standing, and one would have been felled with an ax in the direction of
    the setting sun. Here, the altar was a crude wooden table that had been
    covered with the sports section of the Merced Sun-Star. Arrayed on top of
    a refrigerator ad that said NO DOWN PAYMENT FOR 90 DAYS ! were the txiv neeb’s
    sacred tools, the same ones Shee Yee had used: a short saber ornamented
    with red and white streamers; an ancient iron gong; a monkey bone with a
    padded end wrapped in black cloth, which was used to beat the gong; a
    tambourine-sized iron ring strung with rattling metal disks; and two
    finger bells, which looked like bronze doughnuts and enclosed little
    tintinnabula made of jingling metal pellets. Next to the tools was a brown
    plastic bowl containing rice and a single uncooked egg, sustenance for the

    familiar spirits. Three Styrofoam coffee cups and a white china bowl—a
    lake into which the txiv neeb’s soul could plunge if he were pursued by
    evil dabs—were filled with holy water. A small candle at the front of the
    altar, not yet lit, would shed light on the unseen realm into which the txiv
    neeb was to travel.

    I had read a number of ethnographic commentaries on the power and
    influence of txiv neebs. Somehow, I had never imagined that when I
    finally met the ultimate metaphysical interlocutor, the great plea-
    bargainer for the soul, the preeminent champion in the struggle for the
    demonic—to cite three of the many reverential epithets I had come across
    —he would be sitting in front of a television set, watching a Winnie-the-
    Pooh cartoon. The txiv neeb who was to perform today’s ceremonies was
    named Cha Koua Lee. He wore blue flip-flops, black pants, and a white
    T-shirt decorated with dancing pandas. May Ying Xiong had told me all
    txiv neebs were skinny, because they expended so much energy in the
    shaking trance during which they traveled to the realm of the unseen, and
    indeed Cha Koua Lee, who looked to be in his late forties, was thin and
    muscular, with sharp features and a stern expression. It was against his
    code of honor to charge for his services—especially with the Lees, who
    were members of his clan— and although some families voluntarily paid
    him, he was forced to live on public assistance. However, he always
    received compensation in the form of the heads and right front legs of the
    pigs over whose sacrifices he presided. After eating the meat, he left the
    lower jaws to dry outside his apartment, and then added them to a
    collection he kept on a shelf, to be ritually burned at the end of the
    Hmong year. At that time the pigs’ souls would be released from their
    duties as proxies for the souls of the people for whom they had given
    their lives, and allowed to be reborn. In Laos, Cha Koua Lee had burned
    his pig jaws in a fire pit. In Merced, he burned them in a disposable
    turkey-roasting pan. Then he placed the charred remains in the branches
    of a tree outside town, beneath the sky through which they had already
    journeyed.

    After the smaller pig, a tan-and-white female, was carried into the
    living room and laid on one of the plastic tarps, the txiv neeb performed

    the day’s first order of business: a ceremony to safeguard the health and
    well-being of the family for the coming year. The Lee family stood in a
    closely packed huddle in the middle of the living room. Wearing a black
    cloth headdress, the txiv neeb tied a cord around the pig’s neck. The pig
    grunted softly. Then he ran the cord from the pig to the Lees, wrapping it
    tightly around the whole group. The pig’s soul was thus bonded to the
    souls it would protect. The txiv neeb regarded each person’s soul as a
    tripartite entity, composed of one part that, after death, would stand guard
    at the grave; one part that would go to the land of the dead; and one part
    that would be reincarnated. All three parts would be secured today. Then
    the pig’s throat was slit—by a Lee cousin, not by the txiv neeb, who must
    always maintain good relations with the animals of whom he has
    requested such a priceless gift.

    In Laos, this ceremony would have taken place in the Lees’ house,
    which Nao Kao and Foua had built to shelter not only their family but
    also a host of kindly domestic spirits: the chief household spirit, who
    lived in the central pillar, above the place where the placentas of the Lee
    sons were buried; the spirits of the ancestors, who lived in the four side
    pillars; the spirits of wealth, who lived near the uphill wall; the spirit who
    watched over the livestock, who lived in the downhill door; and the
    spirits of the two fireplaces. The presence of these spirits would have
    been felt by everyone in the house. It seemed to me that at 37 East 12th
    Street, Apartment A—where there were no pillars, no fireplaces, and
    indeed, according to the Lees, no benevolent spirits, because it was rented
    —the maintenance of a sacred atmosphere was an uphill battle. The
    television was still on, though without sound. Winnie-the-Pooh had been
    succeeded by a wrestling match between Hulk Hogan and Randy “Macho
    Man” Savage, broadcast from Atlantic City. Five feet from the altar, on
    the other side of the wall, hummed a refrigerator that contained a case of
    Budweisers, one of which would later be consumed by the txiv neeb. To
    the left of the front door, through which the familiar spirits would pass,
    there was a king-size carton of Attends youth diapers. The door was open.
    This worried me. What if an American were to stroll past and see a dead
    pig on the floor and nine people tied up with twine?

    While the txiv neeb prepared for the next ceremony, several of the
    Lees’ male relatives carried the slaughtered pig to the parking lot, which,
    fortunately, was behind the apartment building and could not be seen
    from the street. First they poured scalding water over the carcass and
    scraped the hide with knives. Then they expertly gutted the pig, threw the
    offal in a Rainbow low-suds detergent pail, unfurled and re-coiled the
    intestines, and rinsed the abdominal cavity with a green garden hose.
    Rivulets of bloody water, dotted with bits of hair and pig flesh, flowed
    through the parking lot. Cheng, May, Yer, True, and Mai watched with
    interest but not surprise. Like children raised on a farm, they were
    familiar with death, and indeed could probably have done the job
    themselves. They had all learned how to kill and pluck chickens before
    they were eight, and the older ones had helped their parents butcher
    several pigs.

    When we walked back inside the apartment, I could tell in an instant
    that there had been a sea change. By some unaccountable feat of sorcery
    —I was never able to figure out exactly how it had happened—the bathos
    had been exorcised from Apartment A. Everyone could feel the
    difference. The Lee children, who talked and giggled as they walked from
    the parking lot, fell silent as soon as they crossed the threshold. The
    television was off. The candle on the altar had been lit. A joss stick was
    burning, filling the apartment with smoke trails that would guide the
    familiar spirits. The txiv neeb had put on a black silk jacket with indigo
    cuffs and a red sash. His feet were bare. He had shrugged all the
    American incongruities off his outer aspect, and his inner aspect—the
    quality that had singled him out for spiritual election—now shone
    through, bright and hard. I saw that I had underestimated him.

    It was Lia’s turn now. Foua and Nao Kao believed that her condition
    was probably beyond the reach of spiritual healing. Another txiv neeb had
    told them that medicines must have hurt her irreparably, because if the
    cause were spiritual, the frequency of their neeb ceremonies would
    certainly have restored her ability to talk. However, within her status quo,
    there were degrees of illness. They hoped this txiv neeb would make Lia
    happier so that she would stop crying at night. And there was still the

    faintest flicker of a chance, not altogether extinguished even after years
    of failed sacrifices, that Lia’s soul would be found after all, that the dabs
    who were keeping it would accept the pig’s soul in its stead, and that she
    would be restored to health.

    Foua sat in the middle of the living room on a red metal folding chair,
    wearing black pants and a black-and-blue blouse: American clothes, but
    traditional Hmong colors, the same colors the txiv neeb was wearing. A
    yard of shining black hair fell down her back. Lia sat on her lap, bare-
    legged, wearing a striped polo shirt and a diaper. Foua nestled Lia’s head
    in the crook of her neck, smoothing her hair and whispering in her ear.
    Lia fit into the curves of her mother’s body as tightly as a newborn infant.

    The txiv neeb placed a bundle of spirit-money—Lia’s expired life-
    visa, which he would attempt to renew—on the shoulder of her polo shirt.
    A Lee cousin waved a live brown chicken in the air. It would be
    sacrificed for Lia’s hu plig, her soul-calling: a version of the same
    ceremony that had installed her soul in her body when she was an infant.
    After it was boiled, the chicken would be examined to find out if Lia’s
    soul had returned. Tight feet, firm eyes, an upcurled tongue, and a
    translucent cranium would be good auspices. Of these, the most
    important sign was the feet. A toe which did not match its mates—which,
    like a Hmong who failed to conform to the group ethic, did not fit
    gracefully into its community—would signal disharmony and
    disequilibrium. The cousin chanted to the chicken:

    I hope your legs are good
    I hope your eyes are good
    I hope your tongue is good
    I hope your beak is good
    I hope your head is clear.

    Lia was surrounded by her entire family and by more than twenty of
    her relatives. Their solicitude converged on her motionless form like
    sunlight focused by a magnifying glass until it burns. Dee Korda had once
    said, “Lia knew how to love and how to let people love her.” Whatever

    else she had lost, Lia still knew how to be loved.
    Foua kissed Lia’s nose and said, “You look very happy!”
    One of the cousin’s sons took the chicken to the kitchen, quickly

    sliced its neck, and shook the spurting blood into a plastic garbage bag.
    Lia’s pig—a bigger, browner one—was carried into the living room,

    its trotters bound with twine. Because Lia was a girl, her pig was male;
    their soul-bond would be a kind of marriage. It lay, snorting and
    struggling, on its plastic tarp. The txiv neeb tied a cord around its neck,
    then wrapped it around the integral unit of Foua and Lia, linking Lia’s
    soul to her mother’s as well as to the pig’s. He walked the circuit from
    pig to Foua-and-Lia many times, shaking his rattle loudly so that Lia’s
    soul, wherever it was, would hear it. Then he beat his gong, again and
    again, to summon his familiar spirits. Finally, he tossed the polished
    halves of a water-buffalo horn on the floor to divine whether the spirits
    had heard him. When both horns landed flat side up, the answer was no;
    when one horn landed flat side up and one horn landed flat side down, the
    answer was ambiguous; finally, when both horns landed flat side down,
    he knew that his spirits had all heard their master’s call.

    The pig had to be paid for the great gift it was about to give Lia. So
    the txiv neeb took a thick sheaf of spirit-money from the floor next to the
    altar and placed it next to the pig. Squatting low, he spoke quietly to the
    pig, explaining that it would be well rewarded for its work and that at the
    end of the year its soul would be set free from its obligations. He threw
    the divination horns again to see if the pig had accepted. When they told
    him yes, he thanked the pig, unwound the cord from the pig’s neck and
    from Foua-and-Lia, and brandished his saber to cut Lia’s sickness away.
    Then he took one of the cups from the altar, poured some water in his
    mouth, and spat it out, as Shee Yee had done, making a trilling noise.

    Prrrrrr.
    Prrrrrr.
    “These are waters of gold and silver,” he said. “They will wash the

    sickness clean.”
    Prrrrrr.
    From the kitchen came the sound of a knife being sharpened.

    Two men lifted the pig onto a pair of folding chairs. Three men held it
    down. A Lee relative stuck it in the neck. It bellowed and thrashed.
    Another relative held a stainless steel bowl to catch the blood, but a good
    deal spattered on the plastic tarp, the carpet, and our bare feet. The txiv
    neeb took the pig’s spirit-money and held it in the torrent. The blood
    would indelibly mark the money as belonging to the pig. Calling his
    familiar spirits, each by name, the txiv neeb touched Lia’s back with a
    finger bell he had moistened with the bloody spirit-money. She, too,
    would now be marked, and any dabs who wished her ill would be barred
    from touching her.

    The txiv neeb washed away more sickness.
    Prrrrrr.
    Then he took the spirit-money from Lia’s shoulder and placed it on

    the flank of the sacrificed pig.
    With the blood of the pig on her back, Lia could go anywhere in the

    world—even hundreds of miles away—and still be recognized as the
    child who needed healing. Since she no longer needed to be within sight
    of the txiv neeb, Foua carried her into the bedroom, laid her tenderly on
    the double bed, cushioned her legs with the blue blanket the family had
    brought from Laos, and turned on an electric fan. Lia’s gaze, whatever it
    saw, was focused upward. Her glossy hair floated in the breeze.

    Now the txiv neeb was ready for the most dangerous part of his
    mission. Standing in front of the bench, he flipped part of his cloth
    headdress over his face, completely blocking his sight. When the veil was
    down, he was blind to this world but able to perceive the realm of the
    unseen. The veil—along with the incense, the mesmeric iteration of the
    gong and rattle, and the txiv neeb’s own repetitive movements—also
    helped him enter his ecstatic trance. In Laos he might have used opium,
    but it was not a necessity. When his familiar spirits were present, he
    could enter an altered state at will.

    T h e txiv neeb sat on Shee Yee’s winged horse, crossing and
    uncrossing his feet on the carpet, doing a rhythmic tap dance as the rattle
    he held in his right hand and the finger bell he wore on his left hand
    echoed the sound of his horse’s harness bells. Meanwhile, his assistant, a

    young man who wore black aviator sunglasses, beat the gong to tell the
    spirits that the journey was beginning. After a little more than half an
    hour, the assistant placed his hands around the txiv neeb’s waist. In a
    single movement, without missing a beat, the txiv neeb rose to his feet
    and jumped backwards onto the bench. All his familiar spirits were in
    attendance. Without their aid, his body would have been too heavy for
    such a leap.

    At this point, the txiv neeb was risking his life. During his trance, his
    own soul traveled far from his body, and if he fell before his soul
    returned, he would die. No one, not even the greatest txiv neeb in the
    world, could help him. Even if he did not fall, he might encounter dabs on
    his journey who wanted him dead, and it would take all his might and
    guile to fight them off.

    The txiv neeb started to gallop. Sometimes he was on top of the horse,
    sometimes on the ground. Sometimes he was the horse, neighing and
    whinnying. He chanted loudly in a minor key, singing ancient
    incantations that were part Hmong and part Chinese. Even the Lees could
    not understand him, but they knew he was speaking to his familiar spirits
    and negotiating with dabs for the release of Lia’s captive soul.

    The front door had been shut for some time, and the room was very
    hot and close. The air was thick with incense. The gong clanged. The
    rattle jangled. Someone poured water on the joints of the bench to cool
    them down. Now the horse was flying up the staircase to the sky. Now the
    door in the sky was opening. Now the txiv neeb was outside Nyong’s
    home. Now he was climbing the mountain to Shee Yee’s cave.

    While the txiv neeb was on his journey, the cousin who had waved the
    chicken in the air—the soul-caller—opened the front door and stood
    facing the street. A small table at his feet held the sacrificed chicken,
    some rice, an egg, and a burning joss stick. In his right hand he held a
    pair of divination horns, and in his left hand he held a rattle. From time to
    time he tossed one or the other on the ground, judging the success of his
    work by the disposition of the horns or the lay of the metal disks.

    I am calling you

    I am calling you

    he chanted to Lia’s soul.

    I have an egg for you
    I have rice for you
    I have a chicken for you
    I have everything waiting for you.

    Inside the apartment, the spirit-money was burned and sent to the
    realm of the unseen. The gong sounded. The txiv neeb’s horse galloped
    faster and faster. The soul-caller looked out toward East 12th Street and
    chanted:

    Where are you?
    Where have you gone?
    Are you visiting your brother?
    Are you visiting your sister?
    Are you visiting your cousin?
    Are you looking at a flower?
    Are you in Laos?
    Are you in Thailand?
    Are you in the sky?
    Have you gone to the sun?
    Have you gone to the moon?
    Come home to your house
    Come home to your mother
    Come home to your father
    Come home to your sisters
    Come home to your brother
    I am calling you!
    I am calling you!
    Come home through this door
    Come home to your family

    Come home
    Come home
    Come home
    Come home
    Come home
    Come home
    Come home.

    Note on Hmong Orthography, Pronunciation, and Quotations

    According to a folktale collected by anthropologist Robert Cooper
    and his colleagues, the Hmong language once had a written form, and
    many important things about life and about the journey between death
    and rebirth were written down in a great book. Unfortunately, the book
    was eaten by cows and rats. After its disappearance, no text was equal to
    the task of representing a culture as rich as that of the Hmong, and the
    Hmong language was therefore spoken but not written.

    So matters remained until the end of the nineteenth century. Since
    then, more than two dozen Hmong writing systems have been devised by
    missionaries and linguists, based on Chinese characters as well as on
    Thai, Lao, Vietnamese, and Russian alphabets. There is also a fascinating
    eighty-one-symbol writing system called Pahawh Hmong—it looks a
    little like Sanskrit—that was developed in 1959 by Shong Lue Yang, a
    messianic Hmong leader who was not previously literate in any language.
    It is used by the Chao Fa, the resistance group that, in reduced numbers,
    is still waging a guerrilla war against the communist regime in Laos.

    To represent the Hmong words in this book, I have used the writing
    system most generally accepted by both the Hmong people and by
    linguists: the Romanized Popular Alphabet. RPA, as it is usually called,
    was devised in 1953 in Laos by three missionary linguists, Linwood
    Barney, William Smalley, and Yves Bertrais. It represents all the sounds
    of the Hmong language with Roman letters, using no diacritical marks—a
    godsend for typists. RPA can be exasperating if you expect it to be
    phonetic. (For example, txiv neeb—a Hmong shaman—is, improbably
    enough, pronounced “tsi neng.” What happened to the v? What happened
    to the b? Where did the ng come from?) However, if you view it as a kind
    of code, it is remarkably ingenious and not nearly as difficult as it looks.

    The Hmong language is monosyllabic (except for compound words)
    and, like many Asian languages, tonal. That is, a word’s meaning depends
    not only on its vowel and consonant sounds but on its pitch and on

    whether the voice rises, falls, or stays on the same level. The most
    unusual aspect of RPA is that these tones are represented by a word’s
    final consonant. (Words spoken with a mid-tone that neither rises nor
    falls are the exception: they are spelled without a final consonant.) Most
    Hmong words end in vowel sounds, so final consonants are always tonal
    markers and are never pronounced.

    For example, dab—a spirit—is pronounced “da.” (The final b
    indicates the tone, in this case high and level. Because tones are hard to
    master without hearing them, I am ignoring them in my suggested
    pronunciations of the other words and phrases here.) Paj ntaub—literally,
    “flower cloth,” an intricately worked textile—is pronounced “pa ndow.”
    Qaug dab peg—literally, “the spirit catches you and you fall down,” the
    Hmong term for epilepsy—is pronounced “kow da pay.”

    There are many other aspects of RPA pronunciation, most of them too
    complex to describe here. I will mention just three. One is that x sounds
    like s. Another is that a double vowel represents a nasal sound, like the ng
    in “sing.” (These two oddities, along with the fact that the final
    consonants aren’t sounded, explain why txiv neeb is pronounced “tsi
    neng.”) A third is that w is a vowel, pronounced something like a French
    u. For example, the unlikely-looking word txwv—a children’s game
    resembling jacks—is pronounced, roughly, “tsu.”

    In order to make their own names reasonably easy for Americans to
    pronounce, the Hmong in the United States do not use RPA for proper
    nouns. Capitalized words are pronounced more or less the way they are
    spelled. For example, the word “Hmong,” which in RPA would be spelled
    Hmooh, is simply pronounced “Mong,” with an almost inaudible
    aspiration at the beginning of the word. “Lia Lee,” which in RPA would
    be spelled Liab Lis, is pronounced just as you would expect: “Leea Lee.”

    There are two principal groups of Hmong living in Laos and Thailand,
    the White Hmong and the Blue Hmong. (White and blue are the colors
    favored for each group’s traditional skirts.) Their dialects are similar but
    vary slightly in pronunciation. I have used White Hmong spellings in this
    book.

    I have quoted conversations with Hmong people in this book in the

    forms in which I heard them. That is to say, English-speaking Hmong are
    quoted verbatim, and non-English-speaking Hmong are quoted in the
    words my interpreter, May Ying Xiong, used as she translated their
    comments sentence by sentence. This has the paradoxical effect that
    highly educated Hmong such as Jonas Vangay and Blia Yao Moua,
    because of the grammatical idiosyncrasies of their English, seem to speak
    less “perfectly” than, say, Nao Kao Lee and Foua Yang, whose speech is
    filtered through an American-educated, and therefore grammatically
    conventional, interpreter. However, the alternatives—messing up May
    Ying’s translations or cleaning up the speech of English-speaking Hmong
    —seemed to me far worse. The first was out of the question, and the
    second would rob the reader of the rich texture of English underlain by
    Hmong, French, and other languages, as well as removing him or her one
    further step from my own experience as a listener.

    Notes on Sources

    In form and intent, this book resembles the Hmong-style Fish Soup
    described at the beginning of the second chapter. When a Hmong makes
    Fish Soup, or tells a story, the ingredients tend to come from many
    different places. My own Fish Soup is similarly eclectic.

    The material on Lia Lee is based mostly on interviews. (I relied on
    these sources for all the chapters about Lia, so I have not repeated their
    names under the individual chapter headings below.) Family members:
    Foua Yang, Nao Kao Lee, May Lee, True Lee, Yer Lee. Foster parents:
    Dee and Tom Korda. Merced Community Medical Center: Teresa
    Callahan, Benny Douglas, Neil Ernst, Kris Hartwig, Evelyn Marciel, Dan
    Murphy, Peggy Philp, Gloria Rodriguez, Dave Schneider, Steve
    Segerstrom, Bill Selvidge, Sharon Yates. Valley Children’s Hospital:
    Terry Hutchison. Merced County Health Department: Effie Bunch, Koua
    Her, Martin Kilgore, Kia Lee. Child Protective Services: Jeanine Hilt.
    Schelby Center for Special Education: Zeb Davis, Sunny Lippert. I also
    drew on Lia’s case log at the Merced County Health Department; her file
    at Child Protective Services, including legal records from the California
    Superior Court; her medical records at Valley Children’s Hospital and
    Merced Community Medical Center; and her mother’s medical records at
    MCMC. (Since this book was completed, Merced Community Medical
    Center was leased by a nonprofit corporation called Sutter Health and is
    now named Sutter Merced Medical Center.)

    Conversations with the following people provided insights into
    various aspects of Hmong culture: Dwight Conquergood, Eric Crystal,
    Koua Her, Annie Jaisser, Luc Janssens, Kia Lee, Linda Lee, May Lee,
    Nao Kao Lee, True Lee, Pheng Ly, Blia Yao Moua, Chong Moua, Dang
    Moua, Moua Kee, Lao Lee Moua, Yia Moua, Court Robinson, Long Thao,
    Pa Vue Thao, Lee Vang, Peter Vang, Jonas Vangay, Sukey Waller, John
    Xiong, Mayko Xiong, May Ying Xiong, Xay Soua Xiong, Yia Thao
    Xiong, and Foua Yang.

    A good deal has been written about the Hmong during the last two
    decades. The Refugee Studies Center at the University of Minnesota
    publishes three Hmong bibliographies and a newsletter that reviews
    recent publications about refugees. These resources helped me navigate
    the labyrinth of Hmong scholarship.

    I would like to single out three books, all of which reappear in more
    specific contexts below, to which I am especially indebted—and also
    which I especially enjoyed.

    My indispensable historical reference was Keith Quincy’s lucid and
    comprehensive Hmong: History of a People.

    My understanding of the Hmong character was immeasurably
    deepened by F. M. Savina’s Histoire des Miao, an ethnographic and
    linguistic monograph, unfortunately long out of print, by an empathetic
    French missionary in Laos and Tonkin. Translations from Savina are
    mine.

    Finally, for inspiration and sheer pleasure, I found myself returning
    again and again to Charles Johnson’s Dab Neeg Hmoob: Myths, Legends
    and Folk Tales from the Hmong of Laos , a bilingual anthology of oral
    literature, with a splendid introduction and extensive explanatory notes
    on Hmong culture, collected by a language professor who helped sponsor
    Minnesota’s first Hmong family.

    In the notes that follow, I have cited each work’s title in full the first time
    it is mentioned, and used a shortened title on subsequent mentions. The
    Bibliography contains complete references for all cited sources.

    1. Birth

    Foua Yang, Kia Lee, Blia Yao Moua, Chong Moua, Lao Lee Moua,
    Yia Moua, and John Xiong told me about many of the customs mentioned
    in this chapter.

    Hmong shamanism is described in Jean Mottin, “A Hmong Shaman’s
    Séance” Dwight Conquergood et al., I Am a Shaman: A Hmong Life Story

    with Ethnographic Commentary; and Charles Johnson, ed., Dab Neeg
    Hmoob: Myths, Legends and Folk Tales from the Hmong of Laos . (I used
    Johnson’s 1983 edition; an edition with an updated introduction was
    published in 1992.) The latter two works also discuss traditional methods
    for preventing and curing infertility.

    Hmong pregnancy, birth, and postpartum customs are explained in
    Kou Vang et al., Hmong Concepts of Illness and Healing with a
    Hmong/English Glossary; Gayle S. Potter and Alice Whiren, “Traditional
    Hmong Birth Customs: A Historical Study” Ann Bosley, “Of Shamans
    and Physicians: Hmong and the U.S. Health Care System” and George M.
    Scott, Jr., “Migrants Without Mountains: The Politics of Sociocultural
    Adjustment Among the Lao Hmong Refugees in San Diego.” Scott’s
    dissertation contains a wealth of information on many topics; I have used
    it throughout this book. The description of the placenta as a Hmong’s
    first and finest garment is from Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob, and
    the account of its posthumous journey is from Ruth Hammond,
    “Tradition Complicates Hmong Choice.”

    Background on the Hmong clan system is from Tou-Fou Vang, “The
    Hmong of Laos,” and Timothy Dunnigan, “Segmentary Kinship in an
    Urban Society: The Hmong of St. Paul-Minneapolis.”

    Five works by Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout, the leading Hmong
    authority on health issues, examine traditional views on the causes of
    illness, including soul loss: “Causes and Treatment of Hmong Mental
    Health Problems” “Hmong Beliefs About Health and Illness”
    “Traditional Hmong Beliefs on the Causes of Illness” “Guidelines for
    Mental Health Professionals to Help Hmong Clients Seek Traditional
    Healing Treatment” and Hmong Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death
    Syndrome: A Cultural Study. Other sources on this topic are Xoua Thao,
    “Hmong Perception of Illness and Traditional Ways of Healing”
    Elizabeth S. Kirton, “The Locked Medicine Cabinet: Hmong Health Care
    in America” Nusit Chindarsi, The Religion of the Hmong Njua; Ann
    Bosley, “Of Shamans and Physicians” Kou Vang et al., Hmong Concepts
    of Illness and Healing; and Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob. On infant
    soul loss and soul-retaining clothing, see Eric Crystal, “Buffalo Heads

    and Sacred Threads: Hmong Culture of the Southeast Asian Highlands”
    Jane Hamilton-Merritt, “Hmong and Yao: Mountain Peoples of Southeast
    Asia” and Paul and Elaine Lewis, Peoples of the Golden Triangle.

    The baby-naming ceremony is described in Nusit Chindarsi, The
    Religion of the Hmong Njua, and Gayle S. Potter and Alice Whiren,
    “Traditional Hmong Birth Customs.”

    2. Fish Soup

    Luc Janssens told me the Fish Soup story.
    My summary of Hmong history from ancient times until the early

    twentieth century is deeply indebted to Keith Quincy’s Hmong: History of
    a People. (I relied primarily on the 1988 edition; a revised edition was
    published in 1995.) Were I citing the source of each detail, Quincy’s
    name would attach itself to nearly every sentence in the pages on the
    Hmong in China.

    I drew many ideas from F. M. Savina’s Histoire des Miao. The story
    of King Sonom, also retold by Quincy, comes from an extraordinary
    contemporary document, a 1775 letter by a French missionary in China
    named Joseph Amiot, which Savina reproduces in full.

    Other useful works on Hmong history include Jean Mottin’s charming
    History of the Hmong; W. R. Geddes, Migrants of the Mountains: The
    Cultural Ecology of the Blue Miao (Hmong Njua) of Thailand, the
    standard anthropological study of the Hmong; Hugo Adolf Bernatzik,
    Akha and Miao: Problems of Applied Ethnography in Farther India;
    Sucheng Chan, Hmong Means Free: Life in Laos and America; and Yang
    See Koumarn and G. Linwood Barney, “The Hmong: Their History and
    Culture.”

    Background on the terms “Miao,” “Meo,” and “Hmong” is from the
    above sources (Bernatzik is the most detailed), and also from Yang Dao,
    Hmong at the Turning Point, and Christopher Robbins, The Ravens: The
    Men Who Flew in America’s Secret War in Laos.

    The passage by anthropologist Robert Cooper is from his Resource
    Scarcity and the Hmong Response.

    3. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down

    Delores J. Cabezut-Ortiz, Merced County: The Golden Harvest,
    recounts how Tony Coelho was rejected by the Jesuits because of his
    epilepsy. Blia Yao Moua told me about the offer to perform a Hmong
    healing ceremony for Coelho in Merced.

    On becoming a txiv neeb: Dwight Conquergood, I Am a Shaman;
    Jacques Lemoine, “Shamanism in the Context of Hmong Resettlement”
    Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout, “Traditional Hmong Beliefs” and Kathleen
    Ann Culhane-Pera, “Description and Interpretation of a Hmong Shaman
    in St. Paul.”

    On how Hmong parents treat their children: Hugo Adolf Bernatzik,
    Akha and Miao; Nusit Chindarsi, The Religion of the Hmong Njua;
    Brenda Jean Cumming, “The Development of Attachment in Two Groups
    of Economically Disadvantaged Infants and Their Mothers: Hmong
    Refugee and Caucasian-American” E. M. Newlin-Haus, “A Comparison
    of Proxemic and Selected Communication Behavior of Anglo-American
    and Hmong Refugee Mother-Infant Pairs” Charles N. Oberg et al., “A
    Cross-Cultural Assessment of Maternal-Child Interaction: Links to
    Health and Development” and Wendy Walker-Moffat, The Other Side of
    the Asian American Success Story.

    The information on Merced Community Medical Center was provided
    by Vi Colunga, Arthur DeNio, Doreen Faiello, Ed Hughell, Liz Lorenzi,
    Betty Maddalena, Marilyn Mochel, Dan Murphy, Theresa Schill, Bill
    Selvidge, Betty Wetters, and Janice Wilkerson.

    The Hmong population of Merced City is an estimate based on
    projections from the 1990 census. It attempts to take into account new
    refugees from Thailand, secondary migrants from other parts of the
    United States, and births (using Hmong, not American, birthrates). The
    Demographic Research Unit of the California Department of Finance and
    Rhonda Walton at the Merced Human Services Agency provided
    assistance.

    Much of the information here and elsewhere on the medical aspects of
    epilepsy is drawn from conversations with neurologist Elizabeth Engle of

    Boston Children’s Hospital and with Neil Ernst and Peggy Philp of
    Merced Community Medical Center. I also found these works helpful:
    Owen B. Evans, Manual of Child Neurology; Orrin Devinsky, A Guide to
    Understanding and Living with Epilepsy; Robert Berkow, ed., The Merck
    Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy; Alan Newman, “Epilepsy: Light from
    the Mind’s Dark Corner” and Jane Brody, “Many People Still Do Not
    Understand Epilepsy.” Eve LaPlante discusses the relationship between
    epilepsy and creativity in Seized: Temporal Lobe Epilepsy as a Medical,
    Historical, and Artistic Phenomenon. Owsei Temkin recounts the history
    of epilepsy in his fascinating work The Falling Sickness: A History of
    Epilepsy from the Greeks to the Beginnings of Modern Neurology . The
    Hippocrates quotation is from On the Sacred Disease, quoted in Richard
    Restak, The Brain; the Dostoyevsky quotation is from The Idiot.

    4. Do Doctors Eat Brains?

    Mao Thao’s visit to Ban Vinai is recounted in “Hmong Medical
    Interpreter Fields Questions from Curious,” and in Marshall Hurlich et
    al., “Attitudes of Hmong Toward a Medical Research Project.”

    Hmong health care taboos, and the differences between txiv neebs and
    doctors, are discussed in Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob; Dwight
    Conquergood et al., I Am a Shaman; Ann Bosley, “Of Shamans and
    Physicians” Elizabeth S. Kirton, “The Locked Medicine Cabinet” John
    Finck, “Southeast Asian Refugees of Rhode Island: Cross-Cultural Issues
    in Medical Care” Joseph Westermeyer and Xoua Thao, “Cultural Beliefs
    and Surgical Procedures” Marjorie Muecke, “In Search of Healers:
    Southeast Asian Refugees in the American Health Care System” Scott
    Wittet, “Information Needs of Southeast Asian Refugees in Medical
    Situations” and two works by Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout, “Hmong
    Refugees: Some Barriers to Some Western Health Care Services” and
    “Hmong Attitudes Towards Surgery: How It Affects Patient Prognosis.”
    See also the five Bliatout sources on the causes of illness cited under
    Chapter 1.

    Asian dermal treatments are described in Donna Schreiner,

    “Southeast Asian Folk Healing” Lana Montgomery, “Folk Medicine of
    the Indochinese” and Anh Nguyen et al., “Folk Medicine, Folk Nutrition,
    Superstitions.” Koua Her, Kia Lee, Chong Moua, and Foua Yang also
    explained these treatments to me.

    Jean-Pierre Willem tells the story of the typhoid epidemic at Nam
    Yao in Les naufragés de la liberté: Le dernier exode des Méos. Catherine
    Pake presents her research at Phanat Nikhom in “Medicinal Ethnobotany
    of Hmong Refugees in Thailand.” Dwight Conquergood describes his
    health program at Ban Vinai in my hands-down favorite account of
    working with the Hmong: “Health Theatre in a Hmong Refugee Camp:
    Performance, Communication, and Culture.”

    5. Take as Directed

    I first met the concept of “angor animi” in Migraine, by Oliver Sacks.
    The side effects of anticonvulsant drugs are noted in Orrin Devinsky,

    A Guide to Understanding and Living with Epilepsy; Warren Leary,
    “Valium Found to Reduce Fever Convulsions” and Physicians’ Desk
    Reference. (I used the 1987 edition of the PDR here and elsewhere
    because it is roughly contemporaneous with Lia’s case.) In the opinion of
    pediatric neurologist Elizabeth Engle of Boston Children’s Hospital, the
    studies on phenobarbital’s association with lowered I.Q. scores are not
    conclusive. She believes it is a safe drug.

    Blia Yao Moua, Dia Xiong, Vishwa Kapoor, and Vonda Crouse told
    me about the case of Arnie Vang. It is also described in Pablo Lopez,
    “Hmong Mother Holds Off Police Because of Fear for Her Children.”

    6. High-Velocity Transcortical Lead Therapy

    Most of the works cited under Chapter 4 were also useful here. Two
    particularly helpful introductions to Hmong health care issues are Ann
    Bosley, “Of Shamans and Physicians,” and Elizabeth S. Kirton, “The
    Locked Medicine Cabinet.”

    Rumors about life in America are mentioned in Bruce Thowpaou

    Bliatout, Hmong Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome, and
    Marc Kaufman, “Why the Hmong Spurn America.” May Ying Xiong and
    Long Thao also told me about some of these rumors.

    Koua Her, Kia Lee, Linda Lee, Nao Kao Lee, Blia Yao Moua, Chong
    Moua, Dang Moua, Moua Kee, Lao Lee Moua, Long Thao, Pa Vue Thao,
    Lee Vang, Peter Vang, Jonas Vangay, Sukey Waller, John Xiong, Xay
    Soua Xiong, Yia Thao Xiong, and Foua Yang helped me understand
    Hmong attitudes toward doctors. John Aleman, Steve Ames, Raquel
    Arias, Nancy Brockington, Teresa Callahan, Rick Dehn, Benny Douglas,
    Donna Earle, Neil Ernst, Doreen Faiello, Roger Fife, Kris Hartwig, Tim
    Johnston, Martin Kilgore, Phyllis Lee, Mari Mockus, Dan Murphy, Karen
    Olmos, Peggy Philp, Dave Schneider, Steve Segerstrom, Bill Selvidge,
    Barbara Showalter, Robert Small, Tom Sult, Richard Welch, and Fern
    Wickstrom helped me understand health care workers’ attitudes toward
    the Hmong.

    Alan M. Kraut has written a cogent historical summary of immigrant
    health issues, “Healers and Strangers: Immigrant Attitudes Toward the
    Physician in America—A Relationship in Historical Perspective,” and a
    comprehensive book on the subject, Silent Travelers: Germs, Genes, and
    the “Immigrant Menace.”

    The challenges of treating Hmong patients in Merced are described in
    “Salmonellosis Following a Hmong Celebration” Thomas Neil Ernst et
    al., “The Effect of Southeast Asian Refugees on Medical Services in a
    Rural County” and Doreen Faiello, “Translation Please.”

    The Hmong-English medical glossary mentioned here is Thai Fang,
    Tuabneeg Lubcev Hab Kev Mobnkeeg Rua Cov Haslug Hmoob: Basic
    Human Body and Medical Information for Hmong Speaking People.

    Other sources on Hmong health care include Scott Wittet,
    “Information Needs of Southeast Asian Refugees” Kathleen Ann
    Culhane-Pera, “Analysis of Cultural Beliefs and Power Dynamics in
    Disagreements about Health Care of Hmong Children” Marjorie Muecke,
    “Caring for Southeast Asian Refugee Patients in the USA” Amos S.
    Deinard and Timothy Dunnigan, “Hmong Health Care: Reflections on a
    Six-Year Experience” Debra Buchwald et al., “Use of Traditional Health

    Practices by Southeast Asian Refugees in a Primary Care Clinic” Roy V.
    Erickson and Giao Ngoc Hoang, “Health Problems Among Indochinese
    Refugees” Agatha Gallo et al., “Little Refugees with Big Needs” and Rita
    Bayer Leyn, “The Challenge of Caring for Child Refugees from Southeast
    Asia.”

    On somatization: Joseph Westermeyer et al., “Somatization Among
    Refugees: An Epidemiologic Study.”

    On pregnancy and childbirth: James M. Nyce and William H.
    Hollinshead, “Southeast Asian Refugees of Rhode Island: Reproductive
    Beliefs and Practices Among the Hmong” Andrea Hollingsworth et al.,
    “The Refugees and Childbearing: What to Expect” Linda Todd,
    “Indochinese Refugees Bring Rich Heritages to Childbearing” Peter
    Kunstadter, “Pilot Study of Differential Child Survival Among Various
    Ethnic Groups in Northern Thailand and California” Helen Stewart Faller,
    “Hmong Women: Characteristics and Birth Outcomes, 1990” Deanne
    Erickson et al., “Maternal and Infant Outcomes Among Caucasians and
    Hmong Refugees in Minneapolis, Minnesota” and Deborah Helsel et al.,
    “Pregnancy Among the Hmong: Birthweight, Age, and Parity.”

    On the high Hmong birthrate: Rubén Rumbaut and John R. Weeks,
    “Fertility and Adaptation: Indochinese Refugees in the United States,”
    which provides fertility-rate statistics; Wendy D. Walker, “The Other
    Side of the Asian Academic Success Myth: The Hmong Story” George M.
    Scott, Jr., “Migrants Without Mountains” “Making Up for the Ravages of
    Battle: Hmong Birthrate Subject of Merced Study” and Donald A.
    Ranard, “The Last Bus.”

    The fertility rates for white and black Americans are from the
    Population Branch of the U.S. Census Bureau. Note that “fertility rate”
    means not the average number of children that a group of women of
    various ages have at a given time, but the average number of children
    they have during their entire childbearing lives. The first statistic would
    be lower, since it would include women who had not yet completed their
    childbearing.

    7. Government Property

    The information on reporting child abuse is from “Child Abuse Laws:
    What Are Your Obligations?” and from the National Clearinghouse on
    Child Abuse and Neglect. The legal conflict between religious freedom
    and the obligation to provide medical care for one’s children is reported
    in Martin Halstuk, “Religious Freedom Collides with Medical Care”
    David Margolick, “In Child Deaths, a Test for Christian Science” “Court
    Says Ill Child’s Interests Outweigh Religion” James Feron, “Can
    Choosing Form of Care Become Neglect?” and Caroline Fraser,
    “Suffering Children and the Christian Science Church.” Kathleen Ann
    Culhane-Pera, “Analysis of Cultural Beliefs and Power Dynamics,” is a
    penetrating study of the problem from the Hmong perspective.

    Justice Robert Jackson’s statement about parents making martyrs of
    their children is from Prince v. Massachusetts, 321 U.S. 158, 170 (1943).

    Linda Greenhouse, “Christian Scientists Rebuffed in Ruling by
    Supreme Court,” and Stephen L. Carter, “The Power of Prayer, Denied,”
    discuss the case of McKown v. Lundman.

    Useful background information was provided by CHILD (Children’s
    Healthcare Is a Legal Duty), an organization founded by Rita Swan, a
    former Christian Scientist whose sixteen-month-old son died of
    meningitis.

    8. Foua and Nao Kao

    My sources on Hmong etiquette included Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg
    Hmoob; Don Willcox, Hmong Folklife; and “Social/Cultural Customs:
    Similarities and Differences Between Vietnamese—Cambodians—
    H’Mong—Lao.”

    The tale of the Hmong princess who mistook her rescuer for a hungry
    eagle is from Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob. The tale of the arrogant
    official who was turned into a mouse is from W. R. Geddes, Migrants of
    the Mountains. Keith Quincy, Hmong, notes that Hmong were forced to
    crawl when they approached Lao officials.

    The traditional Hmong divisions of the year and the day are described
    in W. R. Geddes, Migrants of the Mountains; Yang See Koumarn and G.
    Linwood Barney, “The Hmong” Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob; and
    Ernest E. Heimbach, White Hmong-English Dictionary.

    For more on paj ntaub, see Paul and Elaine Lewis, Peoples of the
    Golden Triangle; George M. Scott, Jr., “Migrants Without Mountains”
    Egle Victoria ygas, “Flower Cloth” and Michele B. Gazzolo, “Spirit
    Paths and Roads of Sickness: A Symbolic Analysis of Hmong Textile
    Design.”

    9. A Little Medicine and a Little Neeb

    Jacques Lemoine, “Shamanism,” and Dwight Conquergood et al., I
    Am a Shaman, contain sympathetic interpretations of Hmong animal
    sacrifice. The following describe the sacrificial practices of other sects,
    chiefly Santería: Jeffrey Schmalz, “Animal Sacrifices: Faith or Cruelty?”
    Richard N. Ostling, “Shedding Blood in Sacred Bowls” Larry Rohter,
    “Court to Weigh Law Forbidding Ritual Sacrifice” Russell Miller, “A
    Leap of Faith” and Lizette Alvarez, “A Once-Hidden Faith Leaps into the
    Open.”

    Merced’s ban on animal slaughter is reported in Ken Carlson,
    “Hmong Leaders Seek Exemption” and “Sacrifice Ban Remains,” and
    Mike De La Cruz, “Animal Slaughtering Not All Ritualistic” and
    “Charges Filed After Animal Slaughtering Probe.”

    Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout, Hmong Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal
    Death Syndrome, explains the ploy of changing a sick person’s name in
    order to fool the soul-stealing dab.

    Thomas Neil Ernst and Margaret Philp, “Bacterial Tracheitis Caused
    by Branhamella catarrhalis,” discusses Lia Lee’s tracheal infection.

    10. War

    Here, as elsewhere, all the stories and quotations from F. M. Savina
    are from his Histoire des Miao. Jonas Vangay told me about the Hmong

    language’s rich stock of mountain vocabulary. Jean Mottin, History of the
    Hmong, classifies the ethnic groups of Laos by altitude. George M. Scott,
    Jr., “Migrants Without Mountains,” contains a nuanced discussion of
    Hmong attitudes toward the lowland Lao. The intimate relation between
    the Hmong of Laos and their natural environment is explored in Eric
    Crystal, “Buffalo Heads and Sacred Threads” Keith Quincy, Hmong; Paul
    and Elaine Lewis, Peoples of the Golden Triangle; Don Willcox, Hmong
    Folklife; Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob; and Charles Johnson and
    Ava Dale Johnson, Six Hmong Folk Tales Retold in English. Christine
    Sutton, ed., “The Hmong of Laos,” and Yang See Koumarn and G.
    Linwood Barney, “The Hmong,” also provide good basic background on
    traditional village life.

    The onomatopoeic phrases are from Martha Ratcliff’s fascinating
    linguistic study, “Two-Word Expressives in White Hmong.” Ratcliff
    notes that her translations of these expressions are not definitions but
    associations; many of the expressions have multiple associations.

    Two works by William Smalley, Phonemes and Orthography and
    “Adaptive Language Strategies of the Hmong: From Asian Mountains to
    American Ghettos,” make interesting distinctions between illiteracy, the
    inability to read within a literate culture, and preliteracy, the inability to
    read within an oral culture. W. J. Ong, Orality and Literacy: The
    Technologizing of the Word , notes the magical potency of the word in
    oral cultures.

    Sources on opium include Sucheng Chan, Hmong Means Free; Alfred
    W. McCoy, The Politics of Heroin: CIA Complicity in the Global Drug
    Trade; Yang Dao, “Why Did the Hmong Leave Laos?” Ken Hoffman,
    “Background on the Hmong of Laos” W. R. Geddes, Migrants of the
    Mountains; Robert Cooper, Resource Scarcity; Christopher Robbins, The
    Ravens; Yang See Koumarn and G. Linwood Barney, “The Hmong” Paul
    and Elaine Lewis, Peoples of the Golden Triangle; and Keith Quincy,
    Hmong. It is Quincy who tells the legend of the opium poppy that grew
    from the grave of the promiscuous Hmong girl.

    Many of the above works also touch on the Hmong migrant identity,
    as does Nusit Chindarsi, The Religion of the Hmong Njua. The most

    detailed source is Cheu Thao, “Hmong Migration and Leadership in Laos
    and in the United States.” For a thought-provoking rebuttal of the idea
    that Hmong migration is a cultural phenomenon, see Ray Hutchison,
    Acculturation in the Hmong Community.

    My account of the war in Laos was enriched by Jonas Vangay;
    Vincent Demma, of the Center for Military History; Yvonne Kincaid, of
    the Air Force Research division; writer Gayle Morrison; and historian
    Gary Stone.

    Within the extensive corpus of work on the war, three nonacademic
    accounts deserve special mention. The first is Jane Hamilton-Merritt’s
    Tragic Mountains: The Hmong, the Americans, and the Secret Wars for
    Laos, 1942–1992. This ambitious book is essential reading for anyone
    interested in the Hmong. It has caused some controversy in scholarly
    circles because of the author’s partisan support of Vang Pao and her
    convictions about yellow rain. However, Hamilton-Merritt’s wealth of
    eyewitness reporting and her passionate commitment to the Hmong
    people are unmatched. The second is Christopher Robbins’s The Ravens,
    a swashbuckling but well-researched account of the U.S. Air Force pilots
    recruited by the CIA to fly in the Laos war. I have drawn many details
    from it. The third is Roger Warner, Back Fire: The CIA’s Secret War in
    Laos and Its Link to the War in Vietnam , which tells the story of the war
    by focusing on a few principal players. Most are American, but there is
    much on Vang Pao that I have read nowhere else. Warner’s book has
    since been republished in somewhat different form as Shooting at the
    Moon: The Story of America’s Clandestine War in Laos.

    My understanding of the war also depended on many previously
    mentioned works, especially Keith Quincy, Hmong; Yang Dao, Hmong at
    the Turning Point; Jean Mottin, History of the Hmong; and Elizabeth S.
    Kirton, “The Locked Medicine Cabinet.” One of the least confusing
    summaries of the conflict can be found in Joan Strouse, “Continuing
    Themes in U.S. Educational Policy for Immigrants and Refugees: The
    Hmong Experience.” I also drew on Victor Marchetti and John D. Marks,
    The CIA and the Cult of Intelligence; Stan Sesser, “Forgotten Country”
    Tom Hamburger and Eric Black, “Uprooted People in Search of a Home”

    Donald A. Ranard, “The Hmong: No Strangers to Change” W. E. Garrett,
    “No Place to Run” Clark Clifford, Counsel to the President; William E.
    Colby, testimony to the House Subcommittee on Asia and the Pacific,
    April 26, 1994; Toby Alice Volkman, “Unexpected Bombs Take Toll in
    Laos, Too” and Henry Kamm, “Decades-Old U.S. Bombs Still Killing
    Laotians.”

    American Foreign Policy, 1950–1955: Basic Documents; American
    Foreign Policy: Current Documents, 1962; “Text of Cease-Fire
    Agreement Signed by Laotian Government and the Pathet Lao” and
    Dictionary of American History helped me decipher the international
    agreements involving Laos and Vietnam.

    I have quoted from the following pieces of contemporary reporting:
    Hugh Greenway, “The Pendulum of War Swings Wider in Laos” Don
    Schanche, “The Yankee ‘King’ of Laos” “Laos: The Silent Sideshow”
    Michael T. Malloy, “Anti-Communists Also Win Battles in War-Torn
    Laos” “Reds’ Advance in Laos Menaces Hill Strongholds of Meo Tribe”
    Henry Kamm, “Meo General Leads Tribesmen in War with Communists
    in Laos” Robert Shaplen, “Letter from Laos” Nancy Shulins,
    “Transplanted Hmong Struggle to Adjust in U.S.” and “Rice in the Sky.”

    The CIA film that praised Vang Pao was “Journey from Pha Dong.”
    The transcript was by Vang Yang.

    Roger Warner, Back Fire; Victor Marchetti and John D. Marks, The
    CIA; and Alfred W. McCoy, The Politics of Heroin, examine the role
    opium played in the Laos war, as does the PBS broadcast “Frontline:
    Guns, Drugs and the CIA.” Frontline and McCoy report an intimate
    connection between the CIA and the opium trade; Warner believes some
    of their allegations are exaggerated.

    Jane Hamilton-Merritt, Tragic Mountains, and Sterling Seagrave,
    Yellow Rain: Chemical Warfare—The Deadliest Arms Race , present the
    case for the existence of mycotoxic yellow rain. The opposing view is
    presented most exhaustively in Lois Ember, “Yellow Rain” and also in
    Thomas Whiteside, “The Yellow-Rain Complex,” and Thomas Seeley et
    al., “Yellow Rain.”

    11. The Big One

    As they did throughout the book, Neil Ernst and Peggy Philp helped
    me fathom the medical material in this chapter. Elizabeth Engle, Robert
    Kaye, and especially Fred Holley also cleared up many points of
    confusion. Sherwin B. Nuland, How We Die: Reflections on Life’s Final
    Chapter, helped me understand septic shock; Robert Berkow, The Merck
    Manual, explained disseminated intravascular coagulation.

    12. Flight

    May Lee sent me her autobiographical essay.
    George Dalley, Randall Flynn, Bob Hearn, Tony Kaye, Blia Yao

    Moua, Jonas Vangay, and Jennifer Veech all joined in the hunt for the
    precise location and spelling of the Lees’ village, Houaysouy. True Lee
    definitively pinned it down. Good sources on the geography of Laos
    include the 1:100,000-scale map published by the Service Géographique
    d’Etat of the République Democratique Populaire Lao and Laos: Official
    Standard Names Approved by the United States Board on Geographic
    Names.

    Yang Dao, Paul DeLay, Dennis Grace, Bob Hearn, Marc Kaufman,
    Blia Yao Moua, Dang Moua, Moua Kee, Court Robinson, Hiram Ruiz,
    Vang Pobzeb, Jonas Vangay, May Ying Xiong, Xay Soua Xiong, and Yia
    Thao Xiong clarified many aspects of the postwar period in Laos and
    Thailand.

    Many of the sources cited under Chapter 10—most instructively, Stan
    Sesser, “Forgotten Country,” and Yang Dao, Hmong at the Turning Point
    and “Why Did the Hmong Leave Laos?”—recount the fate of the Hmong
    in postwar Laos. Souvanna Phouma’s comment on the liquidation of the
    Hmong is quoted, in varying translations, in Yang Dao, Hmong at the
    Turning Point; Keith Quincy, Hmong; and Roger Warner, Back Fire. Jane
    Hamilton-Merritt, Tragic Mountains, quotes the Vientiane Domestic
    Service radio broadcast on the Hmong decampment. The background on
    Neo Hom is from Marc Kaufman, “As Keeper of the Hmong Dream, He

    Draws Support and Skepticism” Ruth Hammond, “Sad Suspicions of a
    Refugee Ripoff” and Seth Mydans, “California Says Laos Refugee Group
    Has Been Extorted by Its Leadership.”

    The following helped me reconstruct the experience of fleeing on foot
    to Thailand: Henry Kamm, “Meo, Hill People Who Fought for U.S., Are
    Fleeing from Laos” May Xiong and Nancy D. Donnelly, “My Life in
    Laos” David L. Moore, Dark Sky, Dark Land: Stories of the Hmong Boy
    Scouts of Troop 100; Arlene Bartholome, “Escape from Laos Told”
    Dominica P. Garcia, “In Thailand, Refugees’ ‘Horror and Misery,’” and
    Matt Franjola, “Meo Tribesmen from Laos Facing Death in Thailand.”
    Hmong funeral customs are detailed in Kou Vang, Hmong Concepts of
    Illness and Healing. The story of the Israeli child who was accidentally
    smothered by her mother is from Roger Rosenblatt, Children of War.

    On Thai refugee camps and refugee politics, I consulted David Feith,
    Stalemate: Refugees in Asia; Lynellen Long, “Refugee Camps as a Way
    of Life” and Ban Vinai: The Refugee Camp; Court Robinson, “Laotian
    Refugees in Thailand: The Thai and U.S. Response, 1975 to 1988” Jean-
    Pierre Willem, Les naufragés de la liberté Henry Kamm, “Thailand Finds
    Indochinese Refugees a Growing Problem” Donald A. Ranard, “The Last
    Bus” Marc Kaufman, “Why the Hmong Spurn America” Joseph
    Cerquone, Refugees from Laos: In Harm’s Way ; and Jim Mann and Nick
    B. Williams, Jr., “Shultz Cool to New Indochina Refugee Effort.” The
    Dwight Conquergood passages are from “Health Theatre.”

    Two even-handed discussions of repatriation to Laos, voluntary and
    otherwise, are Marc Kaufman, “Casualties of Peace,” and Lionel
    Rosenblatt, testimony to the House Subcommittee on Asia and the
    Pacific, April 26, 1994.

    The most reliable source of information on refugee issues worldwide
    is the World Refugee Survey, published annually by the U.S. Committee
    for Refugees in Washington, D.C. I have drawn many facts and figures
    from it.

    The story of Shee Yee is from Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob. It
    is greatly condensed, but my phrasing hews as closely as possible to that
    of Johnson’s informant, Pa Chou Yang.

    13. Code X

    The Hmong New Year is described in Kou Vang, Hmong Concepts of
    Illness and Healing; Keith Quincy, Hmong; and W. R. Geddes, Migrants
    of the Mountains. Kathleen Ann Culhane-Pera, “Analysis of Cultural
    Beliefs and Power Dynamics,” helped me understand the Hmong taboo
    against foretelling a death, as did conversations with Koua Her, Kia Lee,
    Chong Moua, and Long Thao.

    14. The Melting Pot

    Several previously cited works provide particularly accessible or
    interesting entrées into the Hmong experience in the United States.
    “Migrants Without Mountains,” George Scott’s dissertation on the
    Hmong of San Diego, is the most intelligent study of Hmong
    acculturation I have read. Hmong Means Free, a collection of interviews
    with a long historical introduction by Sucheng Chan, contains absorbing
    oral histories of five Hmong families in California, though her sample is
    heavily skewed toward Christian converts. Acculturation in the Hmong
    Community, Ray Hutchison’s study of Hmong in northern Wisconsin,
    thoughtfully challenges many stereotypes. Two useful brief overviews are
    Timothy Dunnigan et al., “Hmong,” and the Hmong chapter in Sanford J.
    Ungar, Fresh Blood: The New American Immigrants. The Hmong
    Resettlement Study, a comprehensive government report, is a trove of
    information, interviews, and recommendations on how refugee programs
    might be improved.

    Father Edward Avery, Toyo Biddle, Loren Bussert, Yee Chang, Eric
    Crystal, Paul DeLay, Timothy Dunnigan, Francesca Farr, Tim Gordon,
    Glenn Hendricks, Marc Kaufman, Sue Levy, Blia Yao Moua, Dang Moua,
    Ron Munger, George Schreider, Peter Vang, Jonas Vangay, Doug
    Vincent, John Xiong, and May Ying Xiong provided helpful background
    information.

    The Ford Motor Company Americanization classes are described in
    Stephen Meyer, The Five Dollar Day; Stephan Thernstrom, “Ethnic

    Groups in American History” and Joan Strouse, “Continuing Themes in
    U.S. Educational Policy.” Jacques Lemoine, “Shamanism,” comments on
    the Hmong resistance to assimilation. Marc Kaufman, “Why the Hmong
    Are Fleeing America’s Helping Hand,” reports Vang Pao’s request for
    land, as well as other details of acculturation that I have mined
    throughout this chapter. Eric Martin, “Hmong in French Guyana: An
    Improbable Gamble,” discusses the South American settlements, about
    which Bruce Downing, Father Daniel Taillez, and Yang Dao provided
    further details.

    The resettlement bureaucracy is described in Richard Lee Yamasaki,
    “Resettlement Status of the Hmong Refugees in Long Beach,” and Robert
    E. Marsh, “Socioeconomic Status of Indochinese Refugees in the United
    States: Progress and Problems.” The adaptation study in which Hmong
    complained about American agencies is Woodrow Jones, Jr., and Paul
    Strand, “Adaptation and Adjustment Problems Among Indochinese
    Refugees.” Ruth Hammond, “Tradition Complicates Hmong Choice,” and
    Joseph Westermeyer, “Prevention of Mental Disorder Among Hmong
    Refugees in the U.S.: Lessons from the Period 1976–1986,” describe
    efforts to convert Hmong to Christianity. The Westermeyer article also
    takes a critical look at the policy of dispersing Hmong refugees, as do
    Stephen P. Morin, “Many Hmong, Puzzled by Life in U.S., Yearn for Old
    Days in Laos” Simon M. Fass, “Through a Glass Darkly: Cause and
    Effect in Refugee Resettlement Policies” and Frank Viviano, “Strangers
    in the Promised Land.”

    The ordeal of the Yang family in Fairfield, Iowa, is chronicled by
    Calvin Trillin, “Resettling the Yangs,” and Wayne King, “New Life’s
    Cultural Demons Torture Laotian Refugee.”

    The helpful hints for newly arrived Southeast Asian refugees are from
    “Your New Life in the United States.” Journalistic characterizations of
    the Hmong are from Seth Mydans, “California Says Laos Refugee Group
    Has Been Extorted” Frank W. Martin, “A CIA-Backed Guerrilla Who
    Waged a Secret War in Laos Puts Down Roots in Montana” Nancy
    Shulins, “Transplanted Hmong Struggle to Adjust” Stephen P. Morin,
    “Many Hmong” and Susan Vreeland, “Through the Looking Glass with

    the Hmong of Laos.” The angry letter to the editor about the “primitive”
    epithet is Paul Pao Herr, “Don’t Call Hmong Refugees ‘Primitive.’”

    “Bangungut” is the deliciously hysterical editorial on Sudden
    Unexpected Death Syndrome. For background on this syndrome, which
    was called Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome until several
    daytime deaths were reported, see Jacques Lemoine and Christine
    Mougne, “Why Has Death Stalked the Refugees?” Bruce Thowpaou
    Bliatout, Hmong Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome; Ronald
    Munger, “Sudden Death in Sleep of Asian Adults” and “Sudden Death in
    Sleep of Laotian-Hmong Refugees in Thailand: A Case-Control Study”
    and Ronald Munger and Elizabeth Booton, “Thiamine and Sudden Death
    in Sleep of South-East Asian Refugees.”

    Senator Alan Simpson’s characterization of the Hmong as
    “indigestible” is from Dwight Conquergood, “Health Theatre.” Rumors
    about the Hmong are reported in Charles Johnson, “Hmong Myths,
    Legends and Folk Tales,” and Roger Mitchell, “The Will to Believe and
    Anti-Refugee Rumors.”

    Examples of anti-Hmong vandalism and violence come from Tom
    Hamburger and Eric Black, “Uprooted People” Eddie A. Calderon, “The
    Impact of Indochinese Resettlement on the Phillips and Elliot Park
    Neighborhoods in South Minneapolis” David L. Moore, Dark Sky, Dark
    Land; Stephen P. Morin, “Many Hmong” Margot Hornblower,
    “‘Hmongtana’” Dennis R. Getto, “Hmong Families Build New Lives”
    Richard Abrams, “Cross Burnings Terrify, Bewilder Hmong” “Slaying of
    Boy Stuns Refugee Family” Jane Eisner, “Hearings on Attacks on
    Asians” William Robbins, “Violence Forces Hmong to Leave
    Philadelphia” and Marc Kaufman, “Clash of Cultures: Ill Hmong Rejects
    Hospital” and “At the Mercy of America.”

    George M. Scott, Jr., “Migrants Without Mountains,” explains why
    some Hmong refugees choose not to defend themselves. Amy Pyle,
    “Refugees Allegedly Threaten Welfare Workers,” reports death threats by
    angry Hmong in Fresno. “Hmong Sentenced to Study America,” and Jack
    Hayes, “Ching and Bravo Xiong, Laotian Hmong in Chicago,” report the
    case of the Hmong men who attacked an American driver. The Hmong

    justice system is described in Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob. The
    suicide of Chao Wang Vang is reported in Shirley Armbruster, “Hmong
    Take Root in Fresno.”

    The Hmong Resettlement Study and Cheu Thao, “Hmong Migration
    and Leadership,” provide useful background on secondary migration.
    Timothy Dunnigan, quoted in Don Willcox, Hmong Folklife, observes
    that Hmong who try to gain membership in other kin groups are called
    “bats.” Among my sources on Hmong in the Central Valley of California
    are John Finck, “Secondary Migration to California’s Central Valley”
    Mike Conway, “The Bill Stops Here in Refugee Policy” David Abramson,
    “The Hmong: A Mountain Tribe Regroups in the Valley” and Kevin
    Roderick, “Hmong Select San Joaquin to Sink Roots.” The intimidating
    agricultural course plan, from a 1982 training program in Homer,
    Minnesota, is quoted in The Hmong Resettlement Study. Dwight
    Conquergood’s passage about the Hmong group ethic is from
    “Establishing the World: Hmong Shamans.”

    United States government programs for encouraging economic
    independence by Hmong and other refugee groups are documented in the
    following publications by the Office of Refugee Resettlement: Teng Yang
    et al., An Evaluation of the Highland Lao Initiative: Final Report;
    Evaluation of the Key States Initiative; and annual Reports to the
    Congress on the Refugee Resettlement Program. Simon M. Fass,
    “Economic Development and Employment Projects,” is a good source on
    Hmong employment in the 1980s. Ruth Hammond, “Strangers in a
    Strange Land,” takes an unsentimental look at welfare. George M. Scott,
    Jr., “Migrants Without Mountains,” mentions the man who refused to
    accept a job that would place him above his coworkers. Charlie Chue
    Chang and Nouzong Lynaolu provided information on Hmong National
    Development; the Yang Wang Meng Association, on Hmong in the
    professions; and Robin Vue-Benson, on electronic resources. Vue-Benson
    edits the electronic Hmong Studies Journal, which can be found on the
    World Wide Web at http://www.como.stpaul.k12.mn.us/Vue-
    Benson/HSJ.html.

    The welfare statistics are based on information provided by the

    http://www.como.stpaul.k12.mn.us/Vue-Benson/HSJ.html

    Minnesota Department of Human Services, the Wisconsin Department of
    Health and Social Services, and the California Department of Social
    Services. They are estimates.

    The Hmong Resettlement Study and Christopher Robbins, The Ravens,
    describe “The Promise” made by the CIA in Laos. Lue Vang and Judy
    Lewis, “Grandfather’s Path, Grandfather’s Way,” likens dependent
    people to dogs waiting for scraps.

    I consulted the following mental health studies: Rubén Rumbaut,
    “Mental Health and the Refugee Experience: A Comparative Study of
    Southeast Asian Refugees” Perry M. Nicassio, “Psychosocial Correlates
    of Alienation: Study of a Sample of Indochinese Refugees” Joseph
    Westermeyer, “Acculturation and Mental Health: A Study of Hmong
    Refugees at 1.5 and 3.5 Years Postmigration” and Westermeyer et al.,
    “Psychosocial Adjustment of Hmong Refugees During Their First Decade
    in the United States.” I also drew on Elizabeth Gong-Guy, California
    Southeast Asian Mental Health Needs Assessment, and Bruce Thowpaou
    Bliatout, “Understanding the Differences Between Asian and Western
    Concepts of Mental Health and Illness.”

    Doua Her’s poem, “Lament upon Leaving Our Country,” comes from
    Don Willcox, Hmong Folklife, as does the observation that to Hmong
    refugees in America, even the birds, trees, and flowers are unfamiliar.
    The stories about Plimoth Plantation and about former battalion
    commander Major Wang Seng Khang are both from Stephen P. Morin,
    “Many Hmong.” The Hmong Community Survey, done by the University
    of Minnesota in 1982 and quoted in Tom Hamburger and Eric Black,
    “Uprooted People,” contains the fraction of Hmong who were certain they
    would live out their lives in America. Although I am not aware of any
    later surveys, I would expect that the fraction has markedly increased,
    especially among younger Hmong.

    Richard F. Mollica poignantly describes his psychiatric work with
    Indochinese refugees in “The Trauma Story: The Psychiatric Care of
    Refugee Survivors of Violence and Torture,” and, with James Lavelle, in
    “Southeast Asian Refugees.” Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout et al., “Mental
    Health and Prevention Activities Targeted to Southeast Asian Refugees,”

    contains a good basic discussion of role loss.
    The murder of a German tourist by a Hmong teenager is reported in

    Seth Mydans, “Laotians’ Arrest in Killing Bares a Generation Gap.”
    George M. Scott, Jr., “The Hmong Refugee Community in San Diego:
    Theoretical and Practical Implications of Its Continuing Ethnic
    Solidarity,” observes that hardship has strengthened the Hmong identity.

    15. Gold and Dross

    Robert Berkow, The Merck Manual, and Lawrence K. Altman,
    “Quinlan Case Is Revisited and Yields New Finding,” helped me
    understand persistent vegetative states. George M. Scott, Jr., “Migrants
    Without Mountains,” notes that Hmong parents treat deformed children
    with special affection.

    16. Why Did They Pick Merced?

    The following furnished valuable background on the history, ethnic
    composition, and economy of Merced: Merced Sun-Star Centennial
    Edition; “A Chronicle in Time” Gerald Haslam, “The Great Central
    Valley: Voices of a Place” Delores J. Cabezut-Ortiz, Merced County;
    Kevin Roderick, “Hmong Select San Joaquin” and literature and
    information from the Merced County Chamber of Commerce, the Merced
    County Economic Development Corporation, and Lao Family
    Community of Merced. Dan Campbell, Burt Fogleburg, Jan Harwood,
    Luc Janssens, Jeff McMahon, Kai Moua, Cindy Murphy, Robert Small,
    and Debbie Vrana also provided useful general background. Rosie Rocha
    located several articles from the Merced Sun-Star.

    Hmong music and musical instruments are described in Amy Catlin,
    “Speech Surrogate Systems of the Hmong: From Singing Voices to
    Talking Reeds” Don Willcox, Hmong Folklife; Charles Johnson, Dab
    Neeg Hmoob; Megan McNamer, “Musical Change and Change in Music”
    Rick Rubin, “Little Bua and Tall John” Mike Conway, “Recording the
    Ways of the Past for the Children of the Future” and “New People/Shared

    Dreams: An Examination of Music in the Lives of the Hmong in Merced
    County.”

    Some of the details of Dang Moua’s story come from Frank Viviano,
    “Strangers in the Promised Land,” and Arlene Bartholome, “Future Is
    Uncertain for Area Refugees.” Dang Moua and Jonas Vangay told me
    about Vang Pao’s plan to buy a local fruit ranch. Jeff McMahon provided
    minutes from the June 7, 1977, and June 21, 1977, meetings of the
    Merced County Board of Supervisors on the proposed purchase, which
    was also reported in “Laotians Drop Ranching Plan.” The Merced Sun-
    Star headlines about the Hmong influx are from January 21, 1983;
    October 20, 1982; and May 11, 1983. The John Steinbeck quotations are
    from The Grapes of Wrath.

    A great deal of helpful information on Merced’s economic and
    welfare situation was provided by Andrea Baker and Rhonda Walton; also
    by Jim Brown, John Cullen, Michael Hider, Bev Morse, George
    Rodriguez, Van Vanderside, Houa Vang, and Charles Wimbley. The
    California State Department of Finance and the California State Census
    Data Center also assisted. Ron Dangaran, Jean Moua, and Terry Silva
    supplied background on Merced schools; Joe Brucia, Randy Carrothers,
    Charlie Lucas, Pat Lunney, and Rick Oules, on crime; and John McDoniel
    and Margaret Ogden on driver’s license examinations. “Gang Pak”
    contains information on Merced’s youth gangs. Pat McNally and Daniel
    Silva, “Asians, Game Laws in Conflict,” reports on Hmong hunting and
    fishing. Mark Arax, “A Final Turf War,” describes the Tollhouse
    Cemetery where “CIA veteran” Chua Cha Cha is buried.

    The most authoritative source on Hmong education is Wendy Walker-
    Moffat, The Other Side of the Asian American Success Story. See also
    “The Other Side of the Asian Academic Success Myth” by Wendy D.
    Walker (Walker-Moffat’s former name); Rubén Rumbaut and Kenji Ima,
    The Adaptation of Southeast Asian Youth: A Comparative Study; Donald
    A. Ranard, “The Hmong Can Make It in America” Chia Vang, “Why Are
    Few Hmong Women in Higher Education?” George M. Scott, Jr.,
    “Migrants Without Mountains” Miles McNall and Timothy Dunnigan,
    “Hmong Youth in St. Paul’s Public Schools” and Susan Dandridge

    Bosher, “Acculturation, Ethnicity, and Second Language Acquisition: A
    Study of Hmong Students at the Post-secondary Level.”

    Malek-Mithra Sheybani, “Cultural Defense: One Person’s Culture Is
    Another’s Crime,” discusses marriage by capture. For more on Hmong
    marriage, see T. Christopher Thao, “Hmong Customs on Marriage,
    Divorce and the Rights of Married Women,” and William H. Meredith
    and George P. Rowe, “Changes in Lao Hmong Marital Attitudes After
    Immigrating to the United States.”

    Paul DeLay, Karen Olmos, Court Robinson, and Jonas Vangay told
    me some of the examples of “different ethics.” (They all mentioned these
    examples to illustrate how Hmong and American ethical systems differ,
    not to disparage the Hmong system.) Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob,
    and Ruth Hammond, “Strangers in a Strange Land,” also explore Hmong
    ethics.

    For a provocative, though to my eye lopsidedly anti-Hmong, view of a
    Wisconsin city’s response to a Hmong influx similar to Merced’s, see
    Roy Beck, “The Ordeal of Immigration in Wausau.”

    17. The Eight Questions

    Arthur Kleinman’s “Eight Questions” have been published often, in
    slightly differing versions. The original version appeared in Kleinman et
    al., “Culture, Illness, and Care: Clinical Lessons from Anthropologic and
    Cross-Cultural Research.” I consulted Dr. Kleinman on the phrasing that
    appears here.

    18. The Life or the Soul

    The literature of social and cross-cultural medicine is rich, and
    rapidly getting richer. I suggest that interested readers start with the
    unfailingly perceptive Arthur Kleinman, who wrote the seminal article
    cited under the previous chapter as well as Patients and Healers in the
    Context of Culture; The Illness Narratives: Suffering, Healing, and the
    Human Condition; and other works on related subjects.

    Recommended brief introductions to cross-cultural health issues
    include Shotsy C. Faust, “Providing Inclusive Healthcare Across
    Cultures” Debra Buchwald et al., “The Medical Interview Across
    Cultures” Karen Olness, “Cultural Issues in Primary Pediatric Care” and
    Daniel Goleman, “Making Room on the Couch for Culture.” Those who
    wish to pursue this subject further are directed to the excellent cross-
    cultural bibliography in Robert C. Like et al., “Recommended Core
    Curriculum Guidelines on Culturally Sensitive and Competent Health
    Care.”

    Among those who provided ideas and details for this chapter are
    Daniel Good-enough and Arthur Kleinman, Harvard Medical School;
    Ronald Garcia and Gary Lapid, Stanford Medical School; Shotsy Faust
    and Chloë Wurr, Refugee Medical Clinic, San Francisco General
    Hospital; Gerald Hejduk, American Academy of Family Physicians;
    Robert Berkow and William R. Harrison, Merck Manual; Garry Shirts,
    Simulation Training Systems; Ira SenGupta, Cross-Cultural Health Care
    Program, Pacific Medical Center; Dan Murphy, Merced Community
    Medical Center; and Marilyn Mochel, Merced Refugee Health Program,
    Merced County Health Department. Many themes I have developed here
    were sparked when I audited a course on the Psychosocial Aspects of
    Illness at Stanford Medical School and spent time in Stanford’s anatomy
    laboratory.

    I learned of the Hmong medical cases summarized at the beginning of
    the chapter from lectures by or conversations with Tuan Nguyen, Long
    Thao, Blia Yao Moua, Roger Fife, Yia Thao Xiong, Thomas Bornemann,
    Doreen Faiello, and Francesca Farr.

    Bruce Thowpaou Bliatout’s suggestions for improving Hmong health
    care are from “Hmong Refugees,” “Hmong Attitudes Toward Surgery,”
    “Mental Health and Prevention Activities,” “Guidelines for Mental
    Health Professionals,” “Prevention of Mental Health Problems,” and
    Hmong Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome. The Hmong-
    English medical glossary mentioned here is Thai Fang, Tuabneeg Lubcev
    Hab Kev Mobnkeeg.

    Pam Belluck, “Mingling Two Worlds of Medicine,” reports on New

    York City doctors who work with folk healers. The observations on
    shamanism are from Dwight Conquergood et al., I Am a Shaman, and
    Jacques Lemoine, “Shamanism.” Mother Clean’s sanitation poem is from
    Dwight Conquergood, “Health Theatre.” The mental health program in
    which txiv neebs were consulted on ailing gall bladders and penises,
    among other maladies, is described in Kou Vang, Hmong Concepts of
    Illness and Healing. Sukey Waller recounts her collaborative work with
    txiv neebs in “Hmong Shamans in a County Mental Health Setting: A
    Bicultural Model for Healing Laotian Mountain People.”

    The 1996 Course Guide for Community-Based Patient-Doctor I, a
    division of the Patient-Doctor I course at Harvard Medical School,
    contained reprints of several helpful articles. San Francisco General
    Hospital’s “Refugee Clinic Orientation Manual” was similarly fertile.

    The article instructing doctors on how to recognize their emotions is
    William M. Zinn, “Doctors Have Feelings Too.” Esther B. Fein,
    “Specialty or General Practice: Young Doctors Change Paths,” includes
    statistics on how many medical students are choosing to become
    generalists.

    19. The Sacrifice

    Descriptions and interpretations of Hmong healing ceremonies can be
    found in Dwight Conquergood, “Establishing the World,” and
    Conquergood et al., I Am a Shaman; Eric Crystal, “Buffalo Heads and
    Sacred Threads” Kathleen Ann Culhane-Pera, “Description and
    Interpretation of a Hmong Shaman” Jacques Lemoine, “Shamanism” Jean
    Mottin, “A Hmong Shaman’s Séance” Kou Vang, Hmong Concepts of
    Illness and Healing; Don Willcox, Hmong Folklife; and Sukey Waller,
    “Hmong Shamanism.” The most exhaustive study is Guy Moréchand, Le
    chamanisme des Hmong. A txiv neeb’s ritual work can be seen in
    “Between Two Worlds: The Hmong Shaman in America,” a short
    documentary film produced by Taggart Siegel and Dwight Conquergood.

    Dwight Conquergood, Say Hang, Blia Yao Moua, Chong Moua, Sukey

    Waller, May Ying Xiong, and Mayko Xiong also provided helpful
    background information.

    There are innumerable, and often inconsistent, versions of the Shee
    Yee myth. In telling the early parts of his story, I have closely followed
    the phrasing in Charles Johnson, Dab Neeg Hmoob. For Shee Yee’s later
    exploits, I have drawn on retellings in Kathleen Ann Culhane-Pera,
    “Description and Interpretation of a Hmong Shaman” Bruce Thowpaou
    Bliatout, Hmong Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome; Kou
    Vang, Hmong Concepts of Illness and Healing; Keith Quincy, Hmong;
    and Jean Mottin, “A Hmong Shaman’s Séance.”

    Note on Hmong Orthography, Pronunciation, and Quotations

    The folktale about the great Hmong book that was eaten by cows and
    rats is from Robert Cooper et al., The Hmong.

    Shong Lue Yang’s writing system is summarized in William A.
    Smalley, “The Hmong ‘Mother of Writing’: A Messianic Figure,” and
    Gary Yia Lee and William A. Smalley, “Perspectives on Pahawh Hmong
    Writing.” For greater detail, see Smalley et al., Mother of Writing: The
    Origin and Development of a Hmong Messianic Script, and Chia Koua
    Vang et al., The Life of Shong Lue Yang: Hmong “Mother of Writing.”

    The Romanized Popular Alphabet is described in “A Note on Hmong
    Orthography” in Glenn L. Hendricks, The Hmong in Transition. I also
    relied on unpublished resource materials written by Jonas Vangay for his
    Hmong language course at Merced College.

    For readers interested in learning or teaching the Hmong language, I
    highly recommend Annie Jaisser’s textbook and audiotape, Hmong for
    Beginners. (It can be obtained through the CSSEAS Publications Office,
    2223 Fulton Street, Room 338, University of California, Berkeley,
    California 94720.) There are also two useful dictionaries, Ernest E.
    Heimbach’s comprehensive White Hmong-English Dictionary and Brian
    McKibben’s basic English-White Hmong Dictionary.

    If you wish to speak to a Hmong by phone and need an interpreter,

    AT&T Language Line Services (800-628-8486) can provide one for a fee.

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    Acknowledgments

    Ib tug pas ua tsis tau ib pluag mov los yog ua tsis tau ib tug laj kab.
    One stick cannot cook a meal or build a fence.

    I would like to thank some of the people who enabled me to write this
    book:

    Bill Selvidge, who started it all by telling me stories about his Hmong
    patients, and who became my host, intermediary, teacher, and sounding
    board.

    Robert Gottlieb, who assigned the germinal story. Robert Lescher, my
    literary agent, who always knew I had a book in me somewhere. Jonathan
    Galassi and Elisheva Urbas, extraordinary editors who at every stage
    were able to see both the forest and the trees.

    The John S. Knight Fellowship program at Stanford University,
    which, among many other boons, allowed me to study at Stanford
    Medical School. The classes I audited deepened both my medical
    knowledge and my understanding of what it means to be a doctor.

    Michele Salcedo, who helped gather written sources during the
    embryonic phases. Michael Cassell, Nancy Cohen, Jennifer Pitts, and
    Jennifer Veech, who checked facts with skill and enterprise. Tony Kaye,
    researcher nonpareil, who tracked down answers to hundreds of questions
    that had stumped me for years.

    The dozens of people, cited under individual chapter headings in my
    Notes on Sources, who were willing to pass on their knowledge.

    The doctors and nurses at Merced Community Medical Center who
    helped and educated me, with especial thanks to Dan Murphy.

    Sukey Waller, who introduced me to Merced’s Hmong leaders. They
    trusted me because they trusted her.

    The Hmong community of Merced, whose members were willing to
    share their sophisticated culture with me and who earned my passionate

    respect.
    Jeanine Hilt, whose death was a terrible loss.
    Raquel Arias, Andrea Baker, John Bethell, Dwight Conquergood, Jim

    Fadiman, Abby Kagan, Martin Kilgore, Pheng Ly, Susan Mitchell, Chong
    Moua, Dang Moua, Karla Reganold, Dave Schneider, Steve Smith,
    Rhonda Walton, Carol Whitmore, Natasha Wimmer, and Mayko Xiong,
    for help of many kinds.

    Bill Abrams, Jon Blackman, Lisa Colt, Sandy Colt, Byron Dobell,
    Adam Goodheart, Peter Gradjansky, Julie Holding, Kathy Holub, Charlie
    Monheim, Julie Salamon, Kathy Schuler, and Al Silverman, who read
    part or all of the manuscript and offered criticism and enthusiasm, both
    equally useful. Jane Condon, Maud Gleason, and Lou Ann Walker,
    priceless friends who not only read the book but let me talk about it
    incessantly for years.

    Harry Colt, Elizabeth Engle, and Fred Holley, who meticulously
    vetted the manuscript for medical accuracy. Annie Jaisser, who clarified
    many aspects of the Hmong language and corrected my Hmong spelling.
    Gary Stone, who set me straight on some important details of the wars in
    Laos and Vietnam. Any errors that remain are my fault, not theirs.

    May Ying Xiong Ly, my interpreter, cultural broker, and friend, who
    built a bridge over waters that would otherwise have been uncrossable.

    Blia Yao Moua and Jonas Vangay, two wise and generous men who
    taught me what it means to be Hmong. Nearly a decade after we first met,
    they were still answering my questions. Would that everyone could have
    such teachers.

    My brother, Kim Fadiman, who in dozens of late-night telephone
    calls responded to faxed chapters and weighed nuances of phrasing so
    minute that only another Fadiman could possibly appreciate them. Kim
    also read aloud the entire manuscript into a tape recorder so our father,
    who lost his sight four years ago, could listen to it.

    My mother, Annalee Jacoby Fadiman, and my father, Clifton
    Fadiman, who through love and example taught me most of what I know
    about good reporting and good writing.

    My children, Susannah and Henry, for the joy they have brought.

    Monica Gregory, Dianna Guevara, and Brigitta Kohli, who allowed
    me to write by caring for my children with imagination and tenderness.

    There are three debts that are unpayable.
    I owe the first to Neil Ernst and Peggy Philp, physicians and human

    beings of rare quality, who spent hours beyond count helping me
    understand a case that most doctors might prefer to forget. Their courage
    and honesty have been an inspiration.

    I owe the second to the Lee family, who changed my whole way of
    looking at the world when they welcomed me into their home, their daily
    lives, and their rich culture. Nao Kao Lee was a patient and eloquent
    educator. Foua Yang was a loving guide and at times a surrogate parent. I
    thank all the Lee children, but especially True, who helped me
    immeasurably during the final stages of my research and also became my
    friend. And to Lia, the gravitational center around which this book
    revolves, I can only say that of the many sadnesses in the world that I
    wish could be righted, your life is the one I think of most often in the
    small hours of the night.

    I owe the greatest debt to my husband, George Howe Colt, to whom
    this book is dedicated. In both a metaphorical sense and a literal one,
    George has been everything to me. Over the years, he has made fact-
    checking calls, helped me file thousands of particles of research, taken
    care of our children while I worked, and talked over every twist and turn
    of character, style, structure, and emphasis. He read every word—except
    these—at least twice, and his editing was brilliant. When I got
    discouraged, knowing that George cared about Lia Lee made me believe
    others would as well. Were it not for him, my book would never have
    been written, and my life would be unimaginably dimmer.

    Index

    acupuncture
    Air America
    Air Force, U.S.
    Aleman, John
    Allman, T. D.
    American Academy of Family Physicians
    Americanization
    animal sacrifice
    antibiotics
    Anti-Chinese Association of Merced
    anticonvulsants, see specific drugs
    Apgar score
    Arias, Raquel
    Armée Clandestine
    Ativan

    BaFá BaFá (simulation game)
    Ban Vinai refugee camp
    Befriend-a-Refugee Program
    Bernatzik, Hugo Adolf
    Bertrais, Yves
    Biological and Toxin Weapons Convention (1972)
    Bliatout, Bruce Thowpaou
    breech birth
    British East India Company
    Buell, Edgar “Pop,”
    Bunch, Effie
    Burma

    California, University of: at Berkeley, at Davis
    California Custom Social Services
    California Department of Human Resources
    California Department of Motor Vehicles
    California Department of Social Services
    California Southeast Asian Mental Health Needs Assessment
    Callahan, Teresa
    Cambodia, refugees from
    Carroll, Lewis
    Carter, Jimmy
    Carter, Stephen L.
    Center for Applied Linguistics
    Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)
    Central Pacific Railroad
    Chao Fa (Lords of the Sky)
    chemical weapons
    Cheng clan
    Ch’ien-lung, Emperor of China
    Child Protective Services (CPS)
    China: Hmong in, opium introduced to, People’s Republic of
    Chinese-Vietnamese refugees
    Christianity, conversion to, fundamentalist
    Christian Science Monitor
    Christian Scientists
    clans
    Clifford, Clark
    Coelho, Tony
    Collazo, Yasmin
    conjoint treatment
    Conquergood, Dwight
    contraception
    Cooper, Robert
    cross-cultural medicine
    Crouse, Vonda

    Crystal, Eric
    Culhane-Pera, Kathleen Ann
    Cullen, John

    Dab Neeg Hmoob: Myths, Legends and Folk Tales from the Hmong of

    Laos (Johnson)
    dabs (spirits), animal sacrifices to appease, illness caused by, and New

    Year celebration, Shee Yee and, soul-stealing, and Sudden
    Unexpected Death Syndrome, and taboo on foretelling death

    Dao, Yang, see Yang Dao
    Defense Department, U.S.
    DeLay, Paul
    dengue fever
    Denver Developmental Screening Test
    Depakene
    dermal treatments
    developmental deficits
    Dien Bien Phu, Battle of
    Dilantin, side effects of
    dobutamine
    dopamine
    Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
    Douglas, Benny
    Douglas, Eugene
    Dunnigan, Timothy

    ectopic pregnancy
    Egeland Mother-Child Rating Scale
    Eisenhower, Dwight D.
    Elizabeth I, Queen of England
    Elmhurst Hospital Center (Queens, N.Y.)
    Emanuel Medical Center (Turlock)
    epinephrine

    Eppley, Judith
    Ernst, Neil, and catastrophic seizure, communication difficulties with

    Lia’s parents, on cost of Lia’s treatment, on developmental deficits,
    and foster care placement and Foua’s pregnancy, Hilt and, leukemia
    of son of, on nosocomial infection, and prescription of Depakene, and
    septic shock, and traditional healing

    Ernst, Toby
    Estevez, Luis

    faith healing
    Fang, Thai
    Fang clan
    Farr, Francesca
    febrile seizures
    Fife, Roger
    Finck, John
    Flaubert, Gustave
    Ford Motor Company
    Forster, E. M.
    France: Hmong in, Indochinese colonies of
    French Guiana
    Fresno State University
    Frontline

    Gaddis, John Lewis
    gangs
    Garcia, Dominica
    Geddes, William Robert
    Geneva Accords on Indochina (1954)
    Geneva Conference (1961–62)
    Geneva Convention on status of refugees (1951)
    Geneva Protocol on chemical weapons (1925)

    grand mal seizures
    Greeks, ancient
    Gulf War

    Haig, Alexander
    Hamilton-Merritt, Jane
    Han dynasty
    Hang clan
    harelip
    Hartwig, Kris
    Harvard University, Medical School
    Harwood, Jan
    Hawkes, Phillip
    Health and Human Services, U.S. Department of
    Helms, Richard
    Hennepin County Medical Center
    Her, Doua
    Her, Koua
    Her, Pa Kao
    Her, Soua
    herbalism
    Her clan
    Hider, Michael
    Highland Lao Initiative
    Hilt, Jeanine, death of, and foster care placement, and Lia’s return home

    in persistent vegetative state
    Hin Heup Massacre
    Hippocrates
    History of the Hmong (Mottin)
    Hmong: agricultural practices of, animal sacrifices of, attitude toward

    children of, beliefs about epilepsy of, and bridging of cross-cultural
    gulf, calendar of, childbirth among, childhood mortality rate of, in
    Laos, child-rearing practices of, in China, clan names of, clothing of,

    under communists, dance of, escape from Laos of, folktales of, and
    foster care placement, under French colonial rule, funeral customs of,
    hierarchy of, intermarriage among, marriage customs of, and MCMC,
    in Merced, Merced health department and, migration to Indochina of,
    Murphy and, names of, New Year celebration of, opium cultivation
    by, oral narratives of, preference for sons among, in refugee camps,
    repatriation of, resettlement in U.S. of, somatization among, soul-
    calling ceremonies of, stature of, taboos among, textile arts, of, see
    paj ntaub; traditional medicine of, Waller and, during war in Laos,
    Western accounts of, and Western medicine

    Hmong National Development
    Hoang-ti, Emperor of China
    Ho Chi Minh
    holism
    hu plig, see soul-calling ceremonies
    Hutchison, Terry
    Hutterites
    hyperactivity

    Ik
    Immigration and Naturalization Service
    immunizations
    Indochinese Psychiatry Clinic (Boston)
    infant mortality
    International Organization for Migration
    International Rescue Committee
    Internet
    isoniazid

    Jackson, Robert
    Jehovah’s Witnesses
    Jesuits
    Johnson, Charles

    Johnson, Lyndon B.
    Johnson, U. Alexis
    Journal of Ethnobiology

    Karen
    Kee, Moua, see Moua Kee
    Kennedy, John F.
    Khang, Maj. Wang Seng
    Khmer Rouge
    Khmu
    Kierkegaard, Søren
    Kilgore, Martin
    Kirton, Elizabeth
    Kissinger, Henry
    Kleinman, Arthur
    Kong clan
    Kopacz, Maciej
    Korda, Dee
    Korda, Julie
    Korda, Maria
    Korda, Tom
    Korda, Wendy
    Kue clan
    !Kung

    Language and Orientation Resource Center
    Lao
    Lao Family Community
    Laos, under communists, French colonial rule of, migration of Hmong to,

    refugees from (and see specific ethnic groups); war in
    Lee, Cha Koua
    Lee, Cheng

    Lee, Chong
    Lee, Evelyn
    Lee, Ge
    Lee, Joua Chai
    Lee, Kia
    Lee, Lia, begins suffering seizures birth of, brain damage diagnosed in,

    catastrophic seizure suffered by, developmental deficits of, foster
    placement of, and gulf between traditional and Western medicine,
    healing ceremony for Hilt’s relationship with, and Hmong beliefs
    about epilepsy, hospitalized at MCMC, hyperactivity of, medical
    records of, medication regimen for, obesity of, as parents’ favorite, in
    persistent vegetative state, returned to parents, septic shock suffered
    by, soul-calling ceremonies for, state coverage of medical care of, in
    status epilepticus, traditional medicine for, at Valley Children’s
    Hospital

    Lee, Mai
    Lee, May
    Lee, Nao Kao, arrival in U.S. of, brings Lia home, cares for Lia in

    persistent vegetative state, and catastrophic seizure, court order
    obtained by, and cousin’s arrival in U.S., Dan Murphy and,
    description of village in Laos by, distrust of Western medicine,
    escapes from Laos, and foster care placement, group ethic of, gulf
    between Western medicine and beliefs of, health problems of, Hilt’s
    relationship with, during hospitalizations, Lia as favorite child of, Lia
    returned to, and Lia’s birth, and Lia’s obesity, at MCMC emergency
    room, and medication regimen, during neeb ceremony, in refugee
    camp, and soul-calling ceremony, and traditional medicine for Lia

    Lee, Pang
    Lee, Phua
    Lee, True
    Lee, Yee
    Lee, Yer
    Lee, Zoua
    Lee clan

    Lemoine, Jacques
    Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome
    levirate marriage
    Life magazine
    Lincoln Hospital (Bronx, N.Y.)
    Lippert, Sunny
    Lo clan
    Lor, Yeng
    Lor clan
    Lue, Lt. Ly
    Lundman, Ian
    Lunney, Pat
    Ly, Pheng
    Ly clan

    Mae Jarim refugee camp
    Magaillans, Gabriel de
    Mai, Vue
    managed care
    Manchu dynasty
    Marciel, Evelyn
    Marino, Karen
    McDoniel, John
    McKown v. Lundman
    McMahon, Jeff
    Medi-Cal
    Medically Indigent Adult program
    Medicare
    Mennonites
    Merced Chamber of Commerce
    Merced College
    Merced Community Medical Center (MCMC), catastrophic seizure at,

    and foster care placement, Hmong at, interpreters at, Lia admitted to,

    Lia’s birth at, outpatient care for Lia in persistent vegetative state at,
    and traditional healing

    Merced Community Outreach Services
    Merced County Anti-Japanese Association
    Merced County Health Department
    Merced County Mental Health Department
    Merced County Office of Refugee Services
    Merced Human Services Agency
    Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy
    Meselson, Matthew
    Metropolitan State University
    Middle Ages
    Mien
    Migrants of the Mountains (Geddes)
    Ming dynasty
    Minnesota, University of
    Mitchell, Roger
    Mochel, Marilyn
    Mockus, Mari
    Mollica, Richard
    Mongolian spot
    Mormons
    Morris, Eric E.
    Mottin, Jean
    Moua, Blia Yao
    Moua, Chong
    Moua, Dang
    Moua, Yia
    Moua clan
    Moua Kee
    Murphy, Cindy
    Murphy, Dan

    Nam Yao refugee camp
    National Institute of Mental Health
    Nationalities Service of Central California
    Native Americans
    neeb ceremonies
    Neo Hom (United Laotian National Liberation Front)
    New Yorker
    New York Times
    nitroprusside
    Nixon, Richard M.
    Nord, Steve
    Ntuj Khaib Huab (mythical Hmong homeland)

    Office of Refugee Resettlement, U.S.
    Olmos, Karen
    opium production
    Oregon Human Resources Department
    Osler, William
    Other Side of the Asian American Success Story, The (Walker-Moffat)

    paj ntaub (embroidered cloth)
    Pake, Catherine
    Palauans
    Pao, Vang, see Vang Pao, Gen.
    Paris Agreement (1973)
    Pathet Lao
    Peace Corps
    Pediatric Infectious Disease Journal
    Pennsylvania, University of
    Phanat Nikhom refugee camp
    phenobarbital, side effects of
    Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations
    Philp, Peggy, cares for Lia after brain damage, and catastrophic seizure,

    communication difficulties with Lia’s parents, on development
    deficits, and foster care placement, and Foua’s pregnancy, leukemia
    of son of, on nosocomial infection, and prescription of Depakene, and
    septic shock, and traditional healing

    Planned Secondary Resettlement Program
    Plasmanate
    polygyny
    Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    Proposition

    qaug dab peg (epilepsy)
    Quiet War, see Laos, war in

    rabies
    Ranard, Donald
    Ratcliff, Martha
    Ravens, The (Robbins)
    Reader’s Digest
    Reagan, Ronald
    Refugee Cash Assistance (RCA) program
    retardation
    retinoblastoma
    Rhode Island Office of Refugee Resettlement
    Ritalin
    Robbins, Christopher
    Robinul
    Rodriguez, Gloria
    role loss
    Romans, ancient
    Rosenblatt, Lionel
    Royal Lao Army

    sacrifice, ritual, see animal sacrifice
    San Francisco General Hospital
    Santería
    Savang Vatthana, King of Laos
    Savina, François Marie
    Schelby Center for Special Education
    Schneider, Dave
    Scott, George M., Jr.
    Segerstrom, Steve
    Selvidge, Bill, depressed Hmong treated by, Hutchison and, Lia admitted

    to MCMC by, on Lia’s prognosis after brain damage, Waller and
    Senate, U.S.: Armed Services Committee, Judiciary Subcommittee on

    Refugees and Escapees, Subcommittee on Immigration and Refugee
    Affairs

    septic shock
    shamanism, see also txiv neebs
    Shapler, Robert
    Shee Yee, tale of
    Singlaub, John
    slash-and-burn agriculture, see swidden agriculture
    Small, Robert
    somatization
    Sonom
    soul-calling ceremonies
    soul loss
    Souvanna Phouma, Prince
    Soviet Union
    spinal deformity
    Ssu-ma Ch’ien
    Stanford Medical School
    State Department, U.S.
    status epilepticus
    Sult, Tom
    Superior Court of the State of California

    Supplemental Security Income (SSI)
    Supreme Court, U.S.
    swidden (slash-and-burn) agriculture

    taboos, Hmong
    Tegretol, side effects of
    Temkin, Owsei
    Thailand, U.S. military training camps in, escape from Laos to, Hmong

    settlements in, refugee camps in, traditional medicines imported from
    Thao, Mao
    Thao, Pa Vue
    Thao clan
    thiopental
    Thueson, Gary
    Todorov, Tzvetan
    Tragic Mountains (Hamilton-Merritt)
    trichothecene mycotoxins
    Truman, Harry S.
    tuberculosis
    txiv neebs (shamans), banned by communists, sacrifices performed by,

    Western medicine and
    typhoid

    Uebner, Rick
    United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees
    U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID)
    U.S. Committee for Refugees
    U.S. Council of World Freedom

    vaccination, see immunizations
    Valium
    Valley Children’s Hospital (Fresno)

    Vang, Arnie
    Vang, Chao Wang
    Vang, Seng
    Vangay, Jonas
    Vang clan
    van Gogh, Vincent
    Vang Pao, Gen., and CIA, and Merced Hmong community, resettlement

    proposal of, resistance group of
    Vientiane Agreement (1973)
    Vietnam, Hmong in, refugees from, war in
    VOLAGs
    Vue clan

    Walker-Moffat, Wendy
    Waller, Sukey
    Wall Street Journal
    Washington Post
    Wat Tham Krabok monastery
    Welch, Richard
    Wells, Marvin
    Willem, Jean-Pierre
    Wisconsin, University of, at Eau Claire
    World War II
    World Wide Web

    Xeu, Vang
    Xieng Khouang Air Transport
    Xiong, Bravo
    Xiong, Chaly
    Xiong, Ching
    Xiong, John
    Xiong, May Ying
    Xiong, Sue

    Xiong, Yia Thao
    Xiong clan

    Yale University
    Yang, Foua, arrival in U.S. of, brings Lia home, cares for Lia in persistent

    vegetative state, and catastrophic seizure, court order obtained by,
    doctors’ relationship with, escapes from Laos, and foster care
    placement, gives birth to Lia, gulf between Western medicine and
    beliefs of, Hilt’s relationship with, during hospitalizations, in Laos,
    Lia as favorite child of, Lia returned to, at MCMC emergency room,
    and medication regimen, Murphy and, during neeb ceremony,
    pregnancies of, in refugee camp, and soul-calling ceremony, and
    traditional medicine for Lia

    Yang, Xou
    Yang clan
    Yang Dao
    Yang family
    Yanomamo
    Yates, Sharon
    yellow rain
    Yosemite National Park
    Youth Conservation Corps

    zij poj niam (marriage by capture)
    Zinn, William M.

    Reader’s Guide

    The Spirit Catches You

    and You Fall Down

    A Hmong Child

    Her American Doctors

    and the Collision of Two Cultures

    Anne Fadiman

    About This Guide

    This guide is intended to enrich your experience of reading The Spirit
    Catches You and You Fall Down , winner of the National Book Critics
    Circle Award. This moving chronicle of a very sick girl, her refugee
    parents, and the doctors who struggled desperately to treat her becomes,
    in Anne Fadiman’s deft narrative, at once a cautionary study of the limits
    of Western medicine and a parable for the modern immigrant experience.

    Lia Lee was born in the San Joaquin valley in California to Hmong
    refugees. At the age of three months, she first showed signs of having
    what the Hmong know as qaug dab peg (the spirit catches you and you
    fall down), the condition known in the West as epilepsy. While her highly
    competent doctors saw the best treatment in a dizzying array of pills, her
    parents preferred a combination of Western medicine and folk remedies
    designed to coax her wandering soul back to her body. Over the next four
    years, profound cultural differences and linguistic miscommunication
    would exacerbate the rift between Lia’s loving parents and her caring and
    well-intentioned doctors, eventually resulting in the loss of all her higher
    brain functions. Fadiman weaves this personal tragedy, a probing medical
    investigation, and a fascinating look at Hmong history and culture into a
    stunningly insightful, richly rewarding piece of modern reportage.

    Questions and Subjects for Discussion

    1. What do you think of traditional Hmong birth practices?
    Compare them to the techniques used when Lia was born. How
    do Hmong and American birth practices differ?

    2. Over many centuries the Hmong fought against a number of
    different peoples who claimed sovereignty over their lands;
    they were also forced to emigrate from China. How do you
    think these upheavals have affected their culture? What role
    has history played in the formation of Hmong culture?

    3. Dr. Dan Murphy said, “The language barrier was the most
    obvious problem, but not the most important. The biggest
    problem was the cultural barrier. There is a tremendous
    difference between dealing with the Hmong and dealing with
    anyone else. An infinite difference”. What does he mean by
    this?

    4. The author says, “I was struck…by the staggering toll of stress
    that the Hmong exacted from the people who took care of
    them, particularly the ones who were young, idealistic, and
    meticulous”. Why do you think the doctors felt such great
    stress?

    5. Dr. Neil Ernst said, “I felt it was important for these Hmongs
    to understand that there were certain elements of medicine that
    we understood better than they did and that there were certain
    rules they had to follow with their kids’ lives. I wanted the
    word to get out in the community that if they deviated from
    that, it was not acceptable behavior”. Do you think the Hmong
    understood this message? Why or why not? What do you think

    of Neil and Peggy?

    6. Dr. Roger Fife is liked by the Hmong because, in their words,
    he “doesn’t cut”. He is not highly regarded by some of the
    other doctors, however. One resident went so far as to say,
    “He’s a little thick.” What do you think of Dr. Fife? What are
    his strengths and weaknesses? The author also speaks of other
    doctors who were able to communicate with the Hmong. How
    were they able to do so? What might be learned from this?

    7. How did you feel about the Lees’ refusal to give Lia her
    medicine? Can you understand their motivation? Do you
    sympathize with it?

    8. How did you feel when Child Protective Services took Lia
    away from her parents? Do you believe it was the right
    decision? Was any other solution possible in the situation?

    9. Were you surprised at the quality of care and the love and
    affection given to Lia by her foster parents? How did Lia’s
    foster parents feel about Lia’s biological parents? Was foster
    care ultimately to Lia’s benefit or detriment?

    10. How did the EMT’s and the doctors respond to what Neil
    referred to as Lia’s “big one”? Do you think they performed as
    well as they could have under the circumstances?

    11. How does the greatest of all Hmong folktales, the story of how
    Shee Yee fought with nine evil dab brothers, reflect the life
    and culture of the Hmong?

    12. Discuss the Lees’ life in Laos. How was it different from their
    life in the United States? Foua says, “When we were running
    from Laos at least we hoped that our lives would be better. It
    was not as sad as after Lia went to Fresno and got sick”. What
    were the Lees running from? What were they hoping to find in

    the United States?

    13. When polled, Hmong refugees in America stated that
    “difficulty with American agencies” was a more serious
    problem than either “war memories” or “separation from
    family.” Why do you think they felt this way? Could this have
    been prevented? If so, how? What does the author believe?

    14. The Hmong are often referred to as a “Stone Age” people or
    “low-caste hill tribe.” Why is this? Do you agree with this
    assessment of Hmong culture? Does the author?

    15. What was the “role loss” many adult Hmong faced when they
    came to the United States? What is the underlying root cause?
    How does this loss affect their adjustment to America?

    16. What are the most important aspects of Hmong culture? What
    do the Hmong consider their most important duties and
    obligations? How did they affect the Hmong’s transition to the
    United States?

    17. What does Dan Murphy mean by, “When you fail one Hmong
    patient, you fail the whole community”?

    18. The author gives you some insight into the way she organized
    her notes. What does it say about the process of writing this
    book? She chooses to alternate between chapters of Lia’s story
    and its larger background—the history of the Lee family and
    of the Hmong. What effect does this create in the book?

    19. The concept of “fish soup” is central to the author’s
    understanding of the Hmong. What does it mean, and how is it
    reflected in the structure of the book?

    20. It is clear that many of Lia’s doctors, most notably Neil Ernst
    and Peggy Philp, were heroic in their efforts to help Lia, and

    that her parents cared for her deeply, yet this arguably
    preventable tragedy still occurred. Can you think of anything
    that might have prevented it?

    21. What did you learn from this book? Would you assign blame
    for Lia’s tragedy? If so, to whom? What do you think Anne
    Fadiman feels about this question?

    Other Books of Related Interest

    Virginia Barnes Lee, Aman: Story of a Somali Girl; Michael Bérubé, Life
    as We Know It; Robert Olen Butler, The Deep Green Sea; Lan Cao,
    Monkey Bridge; Temple Grandin, Thinking in Pictures: And Other
    Reports from My Life with Autism; Jamaica Kincaid, My Brother; Maxine
    Hong Kingston, Woman Warrior ; Oliver Sacks, The Man Who Mistook
    His Wife for a Hat: And Other Clinical Tales ; Esmeralda Santiago, When
    I Was Puerto Rican; Susan Sheehan, Is There No Place on Earth for Me?;
    Abraham Verghese, My Own Country: A Doctor’s Story.

    Farrar, Straus and Giroux
    19 Union Square West, New York 10003

  • Copyright
  • © 1997 by Anne Fadiman
    All rights reserved

    Published in 1997 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux

    The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as
    follows: Fadiman, Anne, 1953-

    The spirit catches you and you fall down : a Hmong child, her
    American doctors, and the collision of two cultures / Anne Fadiman.

    p. cm.
    Includes bibliographical references and index.
    ISBN: 978-1-4299-3111-3
    1. Transcultural medical care—California—Case studies. 2. Hmong

    American children—Medical care—California. 3. Hmong Americans—
    Medicine. 4. Intercultural communication. 5. Epilepsy in children. I.
    Title.
    RA418.5.T73F33 1997
    306.4’61—dc21

    97-5175

    www.fsgbooks.com

    http://www.fsgbooks.com

    * These phrases are pronounced, roughly, “kwa ntshwa” and “ntsha tya.” For an explanation, and a basic guide to pronouncing the other Hmong words and phrases in this book, see
    “Note on Hmong Orthography, Pronunciation, and Quotations,”.

    * These phrases are pronounced, roughly, “kwa ntshwa” and “ntsha tya.” For an explanation, and a basic guide to pronouncing the other Hmong words and phrases in this book, see
    “Note on Hmong Orthography, Pronunciation, and Quotations,”.

    * Savina was not intentionally insulting the Hmong when he called them by the offensive term “Miao.” “Meo” and “Miao” were widely used until the early 1970s, when the scholar
    Yang Dao successfully campaigned for the general acceptance of “Hmong.”

    * Despite this early attempt by Hippocrates (or perhaps by one of the anonymous physicians whose writings are attributed to Hippocrates) to remove the “divine” label, epilepsy
    continued, more than any other disease, to be ascribed to supernatural causes. The medical historian Owsei Temkin has noted that epilepsy has held a key position historically in “the
    struggle between magic and the scientific conception.” Many treatments for epilepsy have had occult associations. Greek magicians forbade epileptics to eat mint, garlic, and onion, as
    well as the flesh of goats, pigs, deer, dogs, cocks, turtledoves, bustards, mullets, and eels; to wear black garments and goatskins; and to cross their hands and feet: taboos that were all
    connected, in various ways, with chthonic deities. Roman epileptics were advised to swallow morsels cut from the livers of stabbed gladiators. During the Middle Ages, when epilepsy
    was attributed to demonic possession, treatments included prayer, fasting, wearing amulets, lighting candles, visiting the graves of saints, and writing the names of the Three Wise Men
    with blood taken from the patient’s little finger. These spiritual remedies were far safer than the “medical” therapies of the time—still practiced as late as the seventeenth century—
    which included cauterizing the head with a hot iron and boring a hole in the skull to release peccant vapors.

    * Most Hmong women, though more Americanized now, still avoid prenatal care until at least the second trimester of their pregnancies. Several studies suggest that their pregnancies
    usually have good outcomes nonetheless, with babies delivered at term, at normal weight, and without complications. Several cultural factors—low rates of drinking and smoking,
    nutritious diets—work in their favor. In addition, as obstetrician Raquel Arias explained to me, “Hmong women have proven pelves. If you had an inadequate pelvis back in Laos, it
    was lost to evolution. There was no one available to do a C-section for disproportion, so those women died, and their pelves died with them. Also, Hmong don’t marry Swedes. They
    marry people who are genetically similar to them, so they are likely to have babies that are the right size for their bodies.”

    * In 1996, the Supreme Court declined to review the civil case of McKown v. Lundman, in which an eleven-year-old diabetic named Ian Lundman slipped into a fatal coma after his
    mother, his stepfather, and two Christian Science practitioners prayed for him instead of administering insulin. The boy’s father, who was not a Christian Scientist, had won a damages
    award of $1.5 million, the first ever obtained against Christian Scientists after a child’s death. By refusing to overturn this award, the Supreme Court signaled its lack of sympathy for
    faith healing. Although popular opinion favored the Supreme Court and condemned the Christian Science Church, an interesting dissent was expressed in a New York Times editorial by
    Stephen L. Carter, a Yale law professor. Carter pointed out that according to a recent Gallup poll, four out of five Americans believe that prayer can cure disease, and nearly half say
    they have been healed by prayer themselves. He concluded sardonically, “By refusing to intervene in McKown v. Lundman, the Supreme Court has reinforced a societal message that
    has grown depressingly common: It is perfectly O.K. to believe in the power of prayer, so long as one does not believe in it so sincerely that one actually expects it to work.”

    * For more than three decades, historians have debated the question of whether the United States broke any international agreements by sending American troops into Vietnam. The
    1954 Geneva Accords included a declaration “prohibiting the introduction into Viet-Nam of foreign troops and military personnel as well as of all kinds of arms and munitions.” The
    United States and South Vietnam refused to join in that declaration, but the U.S. stated that it would “refrain from the threat or use of force” to disturb the provisions of the Accords.
    According to the historian John Lewis Gaddis, “The [1954] Geneva Accords were so hastily drafted and ambiguously worded that, from the standpoint of international law, it makes
    little sense to speak of violations of them by either side.” The 1962 Accords, however, which dealt only with Laos, were unambiguous.

    * The yellow rain charges can be summarized as follows: Starting in 1975, after the Pathet Lao victory in Laos, Hmong refugees who had escaped to Thailand reported that while in
    Laos they had suffered from dizziness, skin rashes, blisters, diarrhea, stomach cramps, nausea, and bleeding from the nose and mouth. Some had died. They said these symptoms had
    begun after clouds of droplets—usually yellow, but sometimes white, black, blue, or red—fell from the sky, delivered by (according to various and sometimes conflicting reports) jets,
    prop-driven aircraft, helicopters, artillery shells, grenades, or land mines. The Hmong believed that what came to be called “yellow rain” was a communist reprisal against their
    continued resistance; anti-Hmong reprisals in other forms had already been well documented. In 1981, Secretary of State Alexander Haig announced that the Soviet Union and its
    communist allies in Southeast Asia were using chemical weapons in the form of trichothecene mycotoxins, a fungal poison. This was a serious charge, as chemical and biological
    weapons had been banned by both the 1925 Geneva Protocol and the 1972 Biological and Toxin Weapons Convention. Haig’s accusations were called into question in 1983, when
    Matthew Meselson, a professor of molecular biology at Harvard, noted that every sample of “yellow rain” residue on leaves, twigs, and stones that had been turned in by Hmong
    refugees contained a high proportion of pollen. When Meselson examined some samples under an electron microscope, he found that the pollen grains were hollow, indicating that they
    had been digested—that, in fact, these samples were actually bee feces, which fall in yellow clouds when bee colonies take mass defecation flights. One sample even contained a bee
    hair. Meselson pointed out that most of the Hmong-provided yellow rain samples contained no trichothecenes, and that in those that did, the level was too low to be toxic. He postulated
    that the Hmong were getting sick from natural causes—perhaps moldy food—and misattributing the source of their symptoms. (Many of Meselson’s critics misunderstood his theory,
    mistakenly believing he had claimed that bee feces, which are harmless, had poisoned the Hmong.) Other yellow rain skeptics emphasized the potency of rumor in Hmong culture;
    some suggested that yellow rain was not mycotoxic poison but a conventional weapon, possibly American-made CS tear gas left by U.S. troops in Vietnam and appropriated by
    communist Vietnamese. A 1985 federal chemical-warfare team concluded that “information regarding the use of ‘yellow rain’ against the Hmong in Laos remains too incomplete or
    implausible” to justify any conclusive claims about its existence. I would agree. It is noteworthy that the extensive press coverage of yellow rain has frequently divided along political
    lines, with the more conservative Wall Street Journal and Reader’s Digest affirming its existence and the more liberal New York Times and New Yorker challenging it.

    * Neo Hom is a controversial organization. It is financed almost entirely by refugees from Laos. (The U.S. Council for World Freedom, a right-wing group chaired by retired Major
    General John Singlaub, contributed clothing, medicine, and advice during the late 1980s.) At its height, in the early 1980s, an estimated eighty percent of all Hmong in the United States
    were donating regularly to Neo Hom—typically, a $100 down payment followed by $2 a month for each family member. Vang Pao promised that their donations would be used “to
    carry out guerrilla activities and the eventual overthrow of the communist government presently controlling Laos.” (“He may as well believe in the tooth fairy,” Phillip Hawkes, who
    was then the director of the federal Office of Refugee Resettlement, said in 1984, “but his people want to hear it.”) Those who donated $500 received a certificate promising free
    airfare back to Laos after the liberation. Others have said they were promised important military and government jobs in the “imminent” Lao democracy—as army officers, mayors,
    police chiefs, and so on—if they contributed large sums. Some Hmong who had recently arrived in California reported that they were told their contributions were a condition of
    receiving welfare assistance. (Several county welfare offices had contracts with Lao Family Community, a state-financed mutual assistance organization founded by Vang Pao. Most
    branches of Lao Family Community were not involved in the Neo Hom scheme.) In 1990, when the California Department of Social Services conducted an investigation of the alleged
    extortion, several Hmong witnesses received death threats from other Hmong, though none were harmed. There have also been charges that not all of the money donated to Neo Hom
    has actually reached the guerrilla army, but has instead been diverted to the pockets of Hmong resistance leaders in America.

    * The most celebrated case involved a respected Hmong leader named Vue Mai, who was persuaded to repatriate in 1992 as an example to other Hmong. In 1993 he disappeared from
    Vientiane and has not been heard from since. According to the U.S. Committee for Refugees, more than 700 members of the Vue clan living in a Thai camp, who had intended to join
    their leader in Laos, changed their minds after his presumed death and requested admission to the United States. The Thai government and the United Nations High Commissioner for
    Refugees rejected their request.

    * The only place where Vang Pao’s plan has actually been carried out is French Guiana, on the northern coast of South America. In 1977, the French government arranged for about
    500 Hmong to emigrate from Thai refugee camps to an uninhabited jungle site near the Comté River. Two other colonies were later established to the northwest and east. The original
    colonists were accompanied by French missionaries, one of whom, Father Yves Bertrais, had worked with the Hmong in Laos since 1948 and was one of the inventors of the most
    widely used system of Hmong writing. The settlers cleared land, built Lao-style houses, and within two years were economically self-sufficient. Although some of the original settlers
    decamped to France, the three colonies, with a current combined population of 1,400, are still prospering, producing more than seventy percent of all the vegetables sold in French
    Guiana. The colony where Father Bertrais serves as an adviser has also become an internationally known center for the publication of Hmong-language books.

    * Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome, which until the early 1980s was the leading cause of death among young Hmong males in the United States, is triggered by cardiac failure,
    often during or after a bad dream. No one has been able to explain what produces the cardiac irregularity, although theories over the years have included potassium deficiency,
    thiamine deficiency, sleep apnea, depression, culture shock, and survivor guilt. Many Hmong have attributed the deaths to attacks by an incubuslike dab who sits on the victim’s chest
    and presses the breath out of him.

    * Like most false rumors, these all grew from germs of truth. The white-slavery rumor originated in press accounts of Vietnamese crimes in California, most of which were themselves
    probably unfounded. The car rumor originated in the Hmong custom of pooling the savings of several families to buy cars and other items too expensive for one family to afford. The
    insurance rumor originated in the $78,000 that a Hmong family in Wisconsin was awarded after their fourteen-year-old son died after being hit by a car. The daughter-selling rumor
    originated in the Hmong custom of brideprice, or “nurturing charge,” as it is now sometimes called in the United States in order to avoid just such misinterpretations. The speed-bump
    rumor originated in the many nonlethal domestic faux pas the Hmong have actually committed. The dog-eating rumor, which, as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, is current in Merced,
    originated in Hmong ritual sacrifices.

    * Like all low-income refugees, newly arrived Hmong were automatically eligible for Refugee Cash Assistance. The RCA program enabled Hmong who would otherwise have been
    ineligible for welfare in some states—for instance, because an able-bodied male was present in the home—to receive benefits. But it did not enable Hmong families to receive more
    money than American families. In a given state, Refugee Cash Assistance payments were always identical to benefits from AFDC (Aid to Families with Dependent Children, the most
    common form of public assistance before the 1996 welfare reform bill).

    * The Hmong Channel is accessed almost exclusively by Hmong users. The Hmong Homepage and the electronic mailing lists also have an audience of Americans with an academic
    or professional interest in Hmong culture, as well as a number of Mormon elders who have been assigned missionary work in Hmong communities.

    * At the request of local public assistance agencies, the infamous “100-Hour Rule,” which prevented so many Hmong from becoming economically self-sufficient, was waived in the
    majority of states, starting with California, between 1994 and 1996. “Basically, it required people not to work,” explained John Cullen, who directed Merced’s Human Services Agency
    during the last years of the rule’s sway. The 100-Hour Rule was replaced by a formula of gradually decreasing benefits based on earnings.

    * About 150,000 Hmong—some of whom resettled in countries other than the United States, and some of whom are still in Thailand—fled Laos. The Hmong now living in the United
    States exceed that number because of their high birthrate.

    * The idea that a qeej, whether bamboo or plastic, can “speak” to its audience—for example, by giving travel directions to a dead soul—is not a metaphor. Four of its six pipes
    represent the tones of the Hmong language, and Hmong who have learned to understand the qeej can decode actual words “sung” by the resonating pipes. Just as they do not make the
    conventional Western distinctions between body and mind or between medicine and religion, the Hmong do not distinguish, as we do, between language and music: their language is
    musical, and their music is linguistic. All Hmong poetry is sung. Several other musical instruments, called “talking reeds,” similarly blur the boundary between words and melody. A
    nplooj, or leaf—usually a small piece of a banana leaf—can be curled and placed in the mouth so that it vibrates when blown, its varying pitch representing the tones of words. The
    most poetic of all Hmong instruments is the ncas, a brass Jew’s harp that is placed between the lips and twanged with a finger. It is traditionally reserved for lovers. In Laos, a boy
    would play his ncas, which was no louder than a whisper and could not be overheard by eavesdropping parents, just outside the wall of his lover’s house. He might begin to court her by
    speaking softly, but as soon as he reached the most intimate part of his entreaty, he would, out of a combination of shyness and sentiment, switch to his ncas. If the girl loved him, she
    would answer with her own ncas; if she did not respond, the sting of the rejection was lessened by the boy’s knowledge that it was not he but his instrument who had wooed her. There
    are many qeej players in Merced today, but the use of the ncas as a courting instrument is dying out.

    * Merced’s Hmong students are typical of their counterparts nationwide. According to one Minnesota study, Hmong high school students spent more than twice as much time on
    homework and had better academic records than non-Hmong students. In San Diego, Hmong students achieved higher grade-point averages than whites, blacks, Hispanics,
    Cambodians, Filipinos, and lowland Lao—though they were notably less successful than Vietnamese. (The superior performance of the Vietnamese is hardly surprising, given the
    difference, particularly during the early waves of immigration, between the educational backgrounds of the students’ parents. In 1980, adult Vietnamese refugees had completed an
    average of 12.4 years of education; Hmong surveyed a few years later had completed an average of 1.6.) Although Hmong students do comparatively well in math, they score lower in
    reading comprehension than other Southeast Asians, including Cambodians and lowland Lao. In some states, they have relatively high secondary-school dropout rates—girls especially,
    since, even if they are promising students, they often conform to the cultural expectation to marry young and start bearing children. Female dropout rates, however, have improved in
    recent years. In her book The Other Side of the Asian American Success Story, Wendy Walker-Moffat points out that the Hmong students’ high grades may be misleading, because so
    many of them are placed in low academic tracks. She posits that the group ethic militates against individualized competition, and that the oral tradition, while it aids in memorization,
    can lead to problems in standardized test-taking. Walker-Moffat concludes that by being stereotypically lumped with the Asian American “model minority”—a group perceived as
    having no academic problems—Hmong children have been deprived of such needed services as bilingual classes and bicultural counselors. Wholesale assimilation appears to hinder
    rather than help. A recent study of Hmong college students found that those who had a strong sense of ethnic identity performed better than those who did not.

    * According to an article about a Fresno case in the Loyola of Los Angeles International and Comparative Law Journal, zij poj niam, or marriage by capture, is

    a legitimate form of matrimony practiced by Hmong tribesmen and begins with the man engaging in ritualized flirtation. The woman responds by giving the man a
    token signifying acceptance of the courtship. The man is then required to take the woman to his family’s house in order to consummate the union. According to
    Hmong tradition, the woman is required to protest: “No, no, no, I’m not ready.” If she doesn’t make overt protestations, such as weeping and moaning, she is
    regarded as insufficiently virtuous and undesirable. The Hmong man is required to ignore her mock objections, and firmly lead her into the bedroom and consummate
    the marriage. If the suitor is not assertive enough to take the initiative, he is regarded as too weak to be her husband.

    As Blia Yao Moua put it, “If you ask people of my generation how they got married, ninety percent would be a qualified kidnapper. Including me.” However, among the younger
    generation of Hmong in this country, there have been cases in which the man believed the woman’s protestations were pro forma, but the woman was truly objecting. Some of these
    misunderstandings have led to charges of rape and kidnapping, especially when the woman was underage. Most cases have been resolved by local clan leaders or in juvenile courts.
    The case cited above reached the Fresno Superior Court, which took the defendant’s “cultural defense” into consideration and allowed him to plead to a lesser charge.

    * I have noted elsewhere that several branches of Lao Family Community were investigated in the early nineties for allegedly extorting donations to General Vang Pao’s resistance
    group, Neo Hom. Merced’s branch was among those investigated, but no improprieties were found.

    * Sensitive bicultural interpreting, while it makes life easier for the doctor and the patient, can be extraordinarily stressful for the interpreter. John Xiong, a Hmong leader in Merced
    who often did informal medical interpreting, told me, “If the patient do not do like the doctor want, doctor get mad at interpreter. If the doctor do not do like the patient want, patient get
    mad at interpreter. I am in the middle, and I say, I try to help you both, but you both get mad at me.” It is rare for doctors to defer to their interpreters, as Francesca Farr did, or to
    acknowledge the degree of painful identification the interpreters may feel with patients from their own ethnic groups. Thai Fang, an interpreter at Valley Medical Center in Fresno who
    compiled Tuabneeg Lubcev Hab Kev Mobnkeeg Rua Cov Haslug Hmoob: Basic Human Body and Medical Information for Hmong Speaking People, a Hmong-English glossary of
    anatomical and medical terms, wrote, “I decided to develop this book in response to my feeling of sympathy. Seeing my fellow Hmongs going through panic and worry so they have no
    energy left wounds my spirit as if bringing a disease to my soul.”

    * When Dwight Conquergood was living at Ban Vinai, he intuitively took advantage of the no-fault dynamic when he designed his performance-art program for improving camp
    hygiene. Mother Clean, the eight-foot dancing puppet who led the sanitation campaign, informed the camp inhabitants:

    When you lived in the mountains
    The wind and the rain cleaned the garbage.
    Now with so many people in Ban Vinai
    We all must be careful to clean up the garbage.

    As Conquergood pointed out, “She exhorted a change in behavior without degrading the people whom she was trying to persuade, locating responsibility in the environmental
    circumstances.”

    * Txiv neebs had previously visited some of MCMC’s Hmong patients, including Lia, but they had never been officially sanctioned. Bill Selvidge, however, had occasionally suggested
    that his Hmong patients, especially depressed ones, consult txiv neebs, and at Merced Community Outreach Services, Sukey Waller had made numerous txiv neeb referrals for her
    mental health clients.

    † Since 1995, Marilyn Mochel, the coordinator of the health department’s refugee program, has served as a cultural broker whom MCMC can summon to mediate between Hmong
    patients and the hospital staff. (Mochel was also responsible for the health department’s cross-cultural innovations.) While the man with the perforated bowel was hospitalized, she was
    on call twenty-four hours a day to consult with relatives, clan members, community leaders, doctors, nurses, and dieticians, as well as with security guards who objected to the crowds
    of visitors, sometimes sixty at a time, who filled MCMC’s hallways. Mochel says that her Hmong staff’s “strong deference to professionals” disqualifies them from assuming the
    assertive role of broker themselves, though she hopes that will change.

    * Unlike most Hmong in this country, Yang Dao, the leading Hmong scholar, has retained his name’s traditional form by placing his clan name before his given name. Yang is his
    surname.

      Praise

    • Title Page
    • Contents
      Preface

    • 1 / Birth
    • 2 / Fish Soup
    • 3 / The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down
    • 4 / Do Doctors Eat Brains?
    • 5 / Take as Directed
    • 6 / High-Velocity Transcortical Lead Therapy
    • 7 / Government Property
    • 8 / Foua and Nao Kao
    • 9 / A Little Medicine and a Little Neeb
    • 10 / War
    • 11 / The Big One
    • 12 / Flight
    • 13 / Code X
    • 14 / The Melting Pot
    • 15 / Gold and Dross
    • 16 / Why Did They Pick Merced?
    • 17 / The Eight Questions
    • 18 / The Life or the Soul
    • 19 / The Sacrifice
    • Note on Hmong Orthography, Pronunciation, and Quotations
    • Notes on Sources
    • Bibliography
      Acknowledgments
      Index
      Copyright

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